Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

First Meeting


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> First Meeting Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
First Meeting - 9/14/2006 5:06:41 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		A question for the women. Your meeting your Dom/Domme for the first time. Do you let them tell you what to wear for the meeting?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 5:15:51 AM   
jazzygal


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		If meeting "A" dom for the first time, no.  I would want to leave a good impression though so I would dress accordingly.

(I wouldn't be meeting my Dom for the first time, we would have already met).

jazz

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 5:18:42 AM   
GentleDominantx2


Posts: 34
Joined: 12/10/2004
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Good Answer Jazzy ;)

I second that.

(in reply to jazzygal)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 5:19:11 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		No, at that point they are a dom  but they are not not my dom. I will ask what type of place we are meeting, an evening gown in a biker bar would be awkward. In truth i probably would not even go meet some one who tried, much like i did not respond to those who opened their email with "you will call me Sir or Master".
 
We need to meet and get to know each other as people first i think.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 5:22:28 AM   
pqwinny


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		i have asked if there is a preference to what i wear.  Doesn't mean i'll take wardrobe direction, necessarily.  But the asking is way to gather one more piece of info as to likes and dislikes and even compatibility. 

For example my Sir told me to wear whatever i felt comfortable in, just not jeans.  That request was honored.  Something like no panties would have been a red flag for me and may have put the squash to the meeting altogether.

_____________________________

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to jazzygal)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 5:34:45 AM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with pqwinny - I would definately ask for preferences but will dress according to what's comfortable for me.  Some requests would let me know right away if we're going to get on as far as likes, expectations in public, ect. 


_____________________________

Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 5:54:32 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		I would dress approariately for where we are meeting, perhaps even ask if they would prefer pants or skirt.I want them to see my personality  or mood and yes I beleive that comes out in my attire alot of the times.
 
Now I will ask, "my Master what would you like me to wear", but I am His. He can tell me now, Mine don't wear panties or wear such and such and I will simply comply and typically smile about it but again I am His,we are not just meeting for the 1st time.
 
I would personally take it as a red flag if someone did try and dictate or demand me to wear specific clothing for our fist.



_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 6:59:47 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		No I would not let them tell me what to wear. That presumes a dynamic where none exists. If a Dom tried that for a first meeting, there would be no first meeting. The ones who try that are no match for me and come off as part of the "kneel bitch" brigade or clueless newbies or ones who try and use bdsm to get what they want out of others rather than being into it because it's part of who they are.

As others have stated, I would likely ask what type of place we are meeting and of course dress appropriately, but dictating what I am to wear before even having met is presuming way too much and a major turn off to me. Now the Dom/Master I submit to is a whole different story. He would have the right to dictate what I wear if he so chooses and I would obey because the dynamic would be set between us and I would want to please him.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 7:10:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar
A question for the women. Your meeting your Dom/Domme for the first time. Do you let them tell you what to wear for the meeting?

They wouldn't be my dom if I were just meeting them for the first time.  However, I realize many people do make commitments to people before ever meeting them offline.

If I'm making a special date with someone, with them as the one in authority, then yes absolutely I will let them dictate the wardrobe they prefer.  While I won't go out and buy something special, I'm willing to work with what I have.  It's also a great opportunity to see if they have any sense of style and taste, or whether they just want the sterotypical "sheer blouse, no bra, black skirt, thigh highs and FMPS" image.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 7:11:41 AM   
peekaboopet


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/24/2006
Status: offline 		first meeting ever?  or do you have an established relationship online thus far?

first meeting ever no...

first meeting after ongoing online communication. possibly...

depends.

_____________________________

Damn the Iguana's.... never trust one, the shifty eyed bastards

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 7:15:43 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

A question for the women. Your meeting your Dom/Domme for the first time. Do you let them tell you what to wear for the meeting?

 
Being told what to wear changes my personal expression.  Who ever i meet needs to know who i am FIRST, as a person, before they immediately set to task of making me fit into their mold, and dressing me according to their tastes.  i am leary of those who make changes on the first meeting.  It makes me question just how interested they are in knowing me, the person.  Hec, they may find they like the way i dress and wouldn't want to change a thing.  But neither of us would know that if he only saw me dressed according to who he wants me to be or become for him, or as his plaything, whatever. 
 
It is different if there is an established trust, and this may turn into something more on the first meet, or if both had agreed on this.
 
i believe that for the first meeting, one should come as they are, to meet as people first.  Personal expression through outward adornment is important when getting to know a person.
 
You really have to go by what your gut tells you, and the nature of your connection with the dominant.
 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 7:22:40 AM   
Yang4yin


Posts: 1677
Joined: 7/26/2006
From: NC (USA)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

A question for the women.


Okay, I'm not a woman. I do, however, agree with the ones who said to dress accordingly and to make a good impression. I want to know the real person.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 7:24:05 AM   
utterlybutterfli


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		He asked me not to wear trousers. I was happy to comply
He wasn't "My" Dom, at that point - but I knew he would be


(in reply to peekaboopet)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 7:41:46 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Fast Reply
When I met both my former dom and my present one I was already aware of their personality and tastes in clothing. We had talked of these things as a measure of compatiblity. Both times I wore jeans and a nice blouse. If I was told to dress up for a morning date (like when I met my Daddy) I do not think we would have been compatible. I am not a dressy sort of person on first dates. I do not want the pressure of being taken to a fancy restaurant or that sort of thing.

I have usually met people for coffee or a light meal.

I echo what some of the others have said, I will probably not take wardrobe direction on the first blind date, I haven't met the guy yet to establish a friendship, he isn't going to be telling me what to wear... that really isn't my kink on a day to day basis anyhow...chuckles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to utterlybutterfli)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 7:46:47 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		This wasnt ment for Dom bashing. I included Domme's also.  I like that a woman will dress nice. I have also met women who wanted to exibit themselves.  All I ask when I am to meet someone is what they are wearing so I can identify them when I see them.

(in reply to utterlybutterfli)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 7:49:50 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

A question for the women. Your meeting your Dom/Domme for the first time. Do you let them tell you what to wear for the meeting?


They would not be this one's "Dom/Domme" if it was the first time we met - they would simply be a Dominant person that was a prospective Owner.  So at that point no, one would not allow them to dictate what this one wore - one is a grown adult and knows how to dress appropriately for the situation. 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 8:15:55 AM   
sweeth0nesty


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline 		i agree

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 8:45:57 AM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

A question for the women. Your meeting your Dom/Domme for the first time. Do you let them tell you what to wear for the meeting?

when i met Master for the first time, yes i did allow him to dictate my clothing. We had been corresponding for many months though, and i felt comfortable doing so.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 8:52:49 AM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		I have had many ask me to wear a skirt, no bra and panties for a first meeting. I just laugh. What is it with the no panties thing anyway? No i dont' allow a Dom to dictate what i wear on a first meet. As many have said already..they may or may not be a Dom..but they aren't my Dom

(in reply to OhReallyNow)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: First Meeting - 9/14/2006 8:52:53 AM   
divinity


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline 		when i meet someone i don't know well i chose the clothing, otherwise if we have been communicating for months i let Him chose the clothing.

(in reply to OhReallyNow)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> First Meeting Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

4.551