BitaTruble
Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
So in the interest of finding out if we can agree on definitions i am asking everyone who cares to add to this to give their definition of certain terms.
::chuckles:: I've read through the thread, and all I can say is that getting such a diverse group to agree on anything is a massive undertaking and I just don't see how it's at all possible. However, I'm all for effort!
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After a week or so i will add up the ones that are similar and see how it came out then post the ones who were the most repeated or agreed with.
If the purpose is to get a consensus, then at best the those who think outside the box or are a lone voice will not be heard. At worst, mob mentality will form (think Tooey from The Fountainhead) and the dissenters will be stoned or something. ::laughs::
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If your vote is "labels or definitions are what they mean to you " this will be counted as a non vote. This is an experiment to see what the general consensus is.
It seems to me that such should be absolutely counted otherwise you skew the results. If the vast majority agree that labels are as individual as the people who wear them and that it is only through enhanced communication that you can define yourself anyway, then what we have in place (the dictionary) is already a very general basis with which to start. The rest is subtle flavoring based on individual taste buds.
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Bottom,
What I sit on when I'm at my computer.
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top,
Something I wear to cover my upper torso. (Yes, I'm being bad.. but I get better later. :) )
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sadist,
The dictionary suffices quite nicely for this definition for me and by that dictionary definition, I am not a sadist. I inflict pain for the adreneline rush it gives me or the artistic value of creating something I deem beautiful on a human canvas. I don't get off, get wet or want to jump the bones of my partner and fuck their brains out. ::chuckles::
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masochist,
Dictionary works again here for me, but sometimes when I'm on the receiving end, I DO want to jump the bones of my partner and fuck their brains out. ::laughs::
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Dom/Domme,
I don't even accept these are real words. ;)
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Master/
Someone who has attained knowledge and experience in a certain area such they are deemed to be expert OR one who owns property - gender doesn't matter to me here.
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Mistress,
The other woman. :)
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switch,
Used to turn objects off and on.
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submissive,
Subserviant
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slave,
Property who does not have the ability to consent to a bottom/top relationship because their power has been taken from them to be used at the discretion of another. They have neither the desire nor the will power to change this predictament.
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Here are my definitions of these words.
Top; one who controls the scene for play only.
I think a Top can control things well outside the aspects of any given scene and that play has little to do with that orientation.
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Sadist ; one who enjoys inflicting pain
Now, I do fit your definition of sadist (to a point since I also create art which happens to cause pain to the canvas and it's the art I enjoy, not the pain I enjoy in those cases), but not the dictionary definition of sadist.
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Masochist ; one who enjoys receiving pain
I fit this pretty much as well, with the cavaet that when I'm a canvas for artwork, I enjoy that as well.. and to me what is painful may not be painful to someone else. I don't think having 100 needles pushed through my skin is painful .. I do think getting paddled with wood is sick, evil, twisted and yes, painful!
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Dom/Domme ; the one who dominates, the one who is in control of, is responsible for, gives orders and direction to the sub/slave. This is something they are, a personality type, not just something they do only in the bedroom. A Dom/Domme is what they are whether or not they currently own a sub or slave.
Again, I don't even consider those words. Dominant, I would be happy to define - and again, the dictionary works just fine for me on this one and I don't think it has anything to do with BDSM in particular. One can be very dominant and also very much missionary in lifestyle.
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Switch ; one who can either top or bottom during play or a scene.
Ok, so mostly my post is TIC, but this is far too simple a definition. For one thing, a switch may never, ever scene or play. One can hold the power of another and also give up their power to a third party without ever bringing anything but power into the dynamic. In other words, you can own a slave and in turn also be an owned slave and never have S/m as part of the dynamic in your relationships. No play, no scene, just life.
I can't define switches .. there are far too many choices, a myriad of fractuals that can't be so easily boxed. I would never, ever accept this definition however. So, I suppose that my vote for this one will be one of those 'not counted'. I don't believe any definition will fit and therefore it falls firmly into the category of "each has to define what it means to them as individuals".
I wanted to touch on one thing which Julia said as well.. (hoping I'm getting phrasing close enough)
something along the line of she's not like Ownedgirlie or myself .. she knows there's a difference between us.
I think the fact that Ownedgirlie and I are both concidered slaves by our respective Masters and Julia is considered (and considers herself) a submissive to her Daddy doesn't put us into a different category or on some sort of ladder or ranking (That 9 levels of submission thing still pisses me off, but whatever) .. I don't think you attain a rank as you grow in the BDSM. I do think, given enough time, you recognize your own truths and end up defining what you are as it fits in with your particular life. I think that takes time and effort as well.
Being confused, unsure, overwhelmed etc when you first jump into the leather vats is normal. If you stay in them for any amount of time, you will discover new things about yourself .. somethings you'll embrace, somethings you won't like so well and will either try to change them or come to accept your own little flaws on things but what should never be forgotten is that we come in as fully formed adults with a few years of living already under our belts, a few ideas of what we want, need and desire .. and a yearning to see something different and more than what we've been exposed to previously. I think, too, we do a bit of a disservice to those who come in seeking fast thrills and quick fixes. How many can honestly say that they don't see at least a small part of themselves in that attitude, at least when they first, first started? I know I did, but I've changed and grown and if all the doors had been slammed when I first jumped in, I might have stayed in that place and never had the chance to grow.
Just something to think about when wankers assault you. ;)
I think that may be the one universal thing that drives each of us .. well, each of us who is in it for the long haul at any rate. We want that dollop of frosting on the cake of life and a scoop of our choice of ice cream to go with it and we don't want anyone telling us that pickles, peanut butter and marachino cherries can't go on mint chocolate chip ice cream if that's what we want.
(can you tell I've got a major sweet tooth thing going on? It's the hormones.)
Celeste 
yadda, yadda.. YMMV - and I really hope to god it does otherwise things will be boring as hell.
_____________________________
"Oh, so it's just like Rock, paper, scissors." He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."
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RE: BDSM Definitions? - 
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