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RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 5:29:23 AM

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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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I have pms. Including the usual tenderness plus nausea. It's like being pregnant all over again, with all day morning sickness. I also get highly emotional. There are times when my Dom says "are you pms'ing? Because you certainly are not talking sense." There are times when he is better at connecting it to things than I am.

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(in reply to gypsylee)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 6:32:52 AM

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Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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I am on seasonale and only have a period once every 3 months. That helps alot. Also, I announce to my Master when it is coming. I am very aware of my behavior and have to bite my tongue. Being disrepectful is never ok even if you are pms'ing. Cry if you have to.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 7:43:30 AM

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
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thanx again ladies.

and sympathy to those of you who really suffer.

xxx

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RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 8:01:59 AM

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Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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I have PMS and very painful periods. My emotions get wacky and I'm much more sensitive to things said more apt to take it the wrong way. Those I've been involved with, I've warned about it. I tend to retreat from the world as much as possible at those times with occasional exceptions. The one I am currently involved with is very understanding about it, so no real problems added to "that time".

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Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to gypsylee)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 11:09:12 AM

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From: Texas
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ugh - delete double posting

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 9/28/2006 11:25:33 AM >

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He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to justanotheclaire)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 11:10:25 AM

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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: justanotheclaire

Your lucky regular cycles remind you everythign is ok, I do not have reg cycles. Once or twice a year when i can hardly move.
i even missed being pregnant for nearly 3 months

My cycle is not anywhere close to regular. ::chuckles:: Sometimes I go 30 days between periods, sometimes I go 10, sometimes I skip them completely, but I 'always' know when I'm ovulating because of the pain involved with ovulation.. it's a completely different sort of pain and once I'm ovulating, I know I'm about half-way through the cycle. It's that knowledge which helps me, not that it's regular but that I can recognize the differences and know which pain means what and where it puts me during my cycle.

Celeste

edited to point to tag - line .. just in case PMS and endo aren't enough, let's not forget menopause! lol

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 9/28/2006 11:26:04 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 11:48:01 AM

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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My deepest sympathies ladies.

I find that just knowing WHY I feel like a homicidal bitch helps. In addition to copious amounts of red wine, Doves Dark's and Aleve........

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 1:19:49 PM

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
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hahaha Tigresse... it does help.

"I am blaming it all on the whoremoans.........."

me too babe.

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RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 2:12:13 PM

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PMS ugh i hate it i get very tired and cranky i don't really throw tantrums though, I am on the birth conteol patch so i know just when it is coming which is a good thing because i used to be very irregular. I get cramps but i am one of the lucky ones they are annoying but not too bad. Seeing my Master helps getting hugs and kisses always make me feel lots better. he is very understanding.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to gypsylee)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/28/2006 8:34:00 PM

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I've recently gotten off all hormonal birth control, after being on the shot for almost 4 years, and the pill off and on for about 15 years. I've not had a period or PMS in 4 years. I am actually looking forward to it, and feeling "normal". Its my right as a woman to bleed. Viva la Red Tent!!! At least thats the way I was feeling until I started getting low level cramps, bloaty, crying at sappy commercials, sad songs on the radio.....I certainly hope its right around the corner. Months of PMS does not sound appealing. It always feels like "me" time. I am more creative, more clingy, more quiet, and pretty introspective. I do not enjoy the cramping and all that crap but..... better that than hormones for me. There have actually been times when PMS made me suicidal <tri-level pills> So, I can certainly empathize with your PMS hell.

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RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/29/2006 12:01:06 AM

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
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grrrrr. *low primevil growl*.

i'm looking at the boards and wishing there was somewhere i could just go and abuse people. well... men. maybe i do need a whipping boy. i'm not a switch but geez i could dish out some fine tongue-lashings (verbal!)

gypsy-mthafkn-lee *sweet smile*

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RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/29/2006 6:40:48 AM

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Joined: 12/10/2005
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gypsylee - you do have one's greatest sympathy - the women that do not suffer from these symptoms do not realize how lucky they are - and to suggest that you have the ability to 'control' yourself during this time, well...........one doesn't think that is true. Someone posted that when they had PMS they felt like a homicidal bitch- and one understands that completely.

Hopefully your Dominant will be understanding. As far as how to keep Him from going mad? Hell, during these times we can't keep ourselves from going mad. The only thing one can suggest is Him not taking your actions or what you say to heart, and maybe putting distance between the two of you (such as another room) when you are at your worst. Goodness, we don't want to act that way, and the fact that our words and behavior can be so far removed from our 'normal' selves should be proof enough of that. one commends you for having seen the doctors and doing what you can to help yourself - that shows that you recognize the problem and are doing all that is humanly possible to help during this nightmare time.

(in reply to gypsylee)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/29/2006 7:16:01 AM

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Joined: 9/28/2006
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I had no problems with pms before I had my baby. Now I get called 'evilpsycobitchfromhell' every once in a while. Thankfully the problems are more physical than emotional- sometimes. Similarly I had no problems with birthcontrol before the baby and now I have gone thru about 8 different ones. The shots suck, the ring sucks, the pills suck. Yeah it all sucks. Now I'm considering the tube implants- the ones that look like the springs inside a click pen- anyone know much about this?

(in reply to ayasha)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/29/2006 8:36:26 AM

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Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
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While I am a domme, I can relate as a woman. Just because I am a domme does not mean I get a free pass on the treating people decently avenue either.

My advice is to be able to recognize when you are getting bitchy and why. It is easier to curtail behavior when you know it's coming and you know that your reactions are because of hormones. Also communicate these times to your partner so he can make adjustments as needed to help you through these times.

When reacting during that time, take a deep breath and think before responding. I know, easier said than done. Practice it, though, you might be surprised at how, in time, it becomes easier.

Make yourself as comfortable as possible. Take those times to do a little extra self pampering...warm baths, rest, etc.

Watch funny shows, play on the lighter side, laugh together

Have alone time

Apologize when you should

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to gypsylee)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/29/2006 8:26:21 PM

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Great post, MsKat. My periods are horrible - very painful, and I become physically ill (nausea, vomiting, etc.), and all my joints hurt. I know when it is coming, and I know to pay much closer attention to my moods and the way I feel, although I can't say my moods are much affected anymore by that. I take that extra time for myself (sometimes I have no choice as it can be debilitating). I always let him know in advance. Often times he gives me the space I need to feel better (usually the first and second day). There have been occasions when he wants what he wants and I am to provide it. I load up on Midol and do my best.

Long ago, however, someone told me Don Quai was great for these cycles. After two months of becoming the uncontrolled spawn of Satan, I stopped. Wow, just wow, that was insane!!

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 9/29/2006 8:34:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Also communicate these times to your partner so he can make adjustments as needed to help you through these times.

I think this is very important. I wonder how many Male Dominants are making those adjustments for their submissives situation ... not to forget male submissives that are with Female Dominants. I would hope that it happens to some degree at least.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 10/2/2006 8:01:48 AM

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Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

I wonder how many Male Dominants are making those adjustments for their submissives situation ... not to forget male submissives that are with Female Dominants. I would hope that it happens to some degree at least.

yup. I look at PMS as a kind of temporary insanity defense. If she's normally very well behaved and then is less so because of PMS, then punishment or other behavior modification is useless for getting her hormones back to normal. I can only chose to ignore it or tell her to get lost until she calms down if she's being a real nuisance.

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RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 10/2/2006 9:31:49 AM

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Joined: 8/24/2006
From: Ohio
Status: offline

I'm not a sub, but I definately can relate. I too get horrible cramps, headaches and nausea. I usually spend my time in bed, as I am not much use for doing much else. But anyhow here's my littel tip of what I have found that really helps wonderfully to relieve the cramps. www.minimasseuse.com, I bought one of these littel devices and it does wonders. Put the little pads on your lower back area and turn it on. It's like having your own personal masseuse 24/7. It has a timer to turn it off automatically, so you can even go to sleep with it on and not have to worry about it, and it's small enough that you can put it in your pocket, so you could still do other things while wearing it too. Hope this information helps.

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Ben and Heather

(in reply to happypervert)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 10/2/2006 11:06:34 AM

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Joined: 10/7/2004
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To be honest i didn't read all the posts here (my eyes are going buggy just on the first page..lol) but i wanted to say my sympathies go out to all of those that deal with major issues because of their cycle, both the regulare ones and the not so regulare ones. Please forgive me if some of the things i'm about to mention have already been mentioned in here somewhere,...

For me personally, i have issues..lol For me it can be next month or next year before my true cycle comes about, but because of the hormonal levels and the issues surrounding my "female problems" as i like to call them, i get major mood swings and lots of pain from it. I've found that being honest with my partner is a good start to dealing with it within the relationship. I've always had partners that were very understanding about it.

That being said i think it's also important to be honest with ourselves, just cause we're in pain or moody doesn't really give us a right to go into bitch mode. When i know i'm being oversensative emotionally, i tend to take anything that rubs me wrong with a grain of salt, and try to think more than feel through the situation. On that same note when i'm being oversensative physically and am in pain, i also tend to take things with a grain of salt and remind myself, there are much worse things to have to go through, that people go through all the time. Point being, it CAN be worse,...

On the medical standpoint, for those of you that do not wish to go to your doctors about this, or do not like being on medications for it,... I've found that chamamile (spelling?..lol) tea works wonders for both the moods and the cramps. It's a natural form of a mild muscle relaxer that eases cramps. For that i usually use about 4 tea bags/cup. It's also good at easing emotional stress. For that i usually use 2 tea bags/cup. Another thing that helps with pain as much as we don't like to do it is actually getting up and doing something. When i'm in pain the thing i want to do the most is just curl up in bed and sleep it off or suffer by myself, but i've found that if i get up and do something, go for a walk, even do some sit ups (yes i realize that's the LAST thing you want to do..lol), it does help with the cramps a great deal.

Again my sympathies to you all, and good luck!

sky

(in reply to justanotheclaire)

RE: dealing with PMS as a sub - 10/2/2006 1:05:46 PM

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Joined: 8/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I also get highly emotional. There are times when my Dom says "are you pms'ing? Because you certainly are not talking sense." There are times when he is better at connecting it to things than I am.

Wow...I'm jealous. Although on those occasions when I am able to ID what is happening to me & explain, my partners (I'm thinking all the way back to when I first began living with boyfriends here) have rarely been sympathetic to anything but the pain. If I have a headache, or cramps, they can usually relate, since they've had similar pains (maybe not cramps in the same place, but when you describe it as a charly horse in your gut, that you CAN'T hop out of bed and stretch out...they usually "get" it pretty well). But the hormone-induced mood swings, which cause the "mountains out of molehills" and random crying jags...most guys seem to have real difficulty accepting that these are NOT something I'm making up. Granted, mine are *usually* mild enough that I can pull back, realize what's happening, and nip it in the bud. Sometimes though...break out the Queen Bitch hat and get outta my way!

I've been off of BC for several years now, so sometimes it sneaks up on me, and I'm unable to communicate about it in advance. Ideally, I'd love to have someone who knows and understands me well enough to realize when I'm being irrational on account of this. I really wouldn't expect that to be so hard, given how incredibly rational and practical I am at most times and about most things, but...perhaps I'm overestimating the male gender? I'd also love to have someone who would cuddle me rather than retreating...I really think i'd get over it sooner, or at least that it would be more pleasant for all involved, if that were to happen.

Also, I'm about to begin BC shots (Depo Provera), so I'm very curious how this will affect my symptoms. To the person who asked about the sterilisation method of fallopian tube inserts that look like pen springs...it's called Essure, and so far as i know, it has no affect on hormone production.

I realize that my symptoms are generally mild, and I am happy to say that I can even often control my cramps, if I catch them before they get into full swing, just by walking vigorously. Granted, as soon as I stop, they often come back but...who couldn't do with a bit of extra exercise a few days per month?

My deepest sympathies go out to all of you who suffer more extensively.

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You laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at you because you are all the same.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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