LadyEllen
Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
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Hi Najak
I'm clearly not expressing it well enough, but I'll try again.
Its OK to be yourself and do what you will. Its not OK to be someone else to do what you will, if you're being someone else because its thought that the qualities of the someone else are necessary for you to do what you will.
Everyone has certain qualities, everyone is different. Even within sexes and genders, everyone is different and has their own qualities. Anyone with the right combination of qualities for a certain task, is well suited to that task, regardless of their sex or gender.
Who gets to say which qualities are male or female in character is our culture. I appreciate the anthropological studies that have shown different demarcation in other cultures compared to this one, but this is the culture we live in. That all qualities are found to some extent in all sexes and genders is apparent - but in our culture, some qualities are judged male or female regardless, because of the Christian model which lingers in the culture. I strongly disagree with this culture, but it is the one in which I live.
So what is meant by "acting like a man", is behaviour ascribed in our culture to that which "ought" to be right for a man as opposed to a woman, according to the cultural model, based on those qualities determined by our culture to be male. This in itself is not wrong.
However at the same time, there are definite differences between male and female in general, from which it can be said that there is indeed a male pattern of behaviour and a female pattern of behaviour. Where I have a problem, is where women engage in a male pattern of behaviour which is against their true individual nature, because they are under the impression that they must do this in order to compete with males.
As for the reaction of the culture to those who breach the gender divide which the culture itself throws up - yes, there is often victimisation. Especially prevalent in our culture is victimisation of males who exhibit natures or behaviours normally ascribed by the culture to be female. The same thing happens in reverse to females, but from my observation this is not as extreme; a boy becomes a cissy/fag/nancy/whatever and is tormented endlessly for such "deviant" behaviour, whilst a girl is simply a tomboy - an almost acceptable status. In adulthood it is notable that men who choose to be nurses, are also considered cissies/fags/nancys/whatever, whereas the woman who goes into business generally does not draw such namecalling, but is reviled if she is successful by competing in a male role by throwing away her femininity and ergo "acting like a man".
As for those who do not conform to one sex or one gender or the other, then in a world which sees only male/female they are going to always have such problems from the ignorant people who victimise those who do not conform. TG people too, for expressing a gender not in accordance with their birth sex. Sadly, thats the culture we live in.
Yes, there are some gender differences which arise from sex. Yes, many gender differences arise from cultural influences. Yes the culture reinforces those gender differences, ascribing some qualities to male and some to female - wrongly. Yes, the culture victimises those who do not conform - wrongly. But that is the paradigm in which we live and so the paradigm in which the discussion is held.
It is no problem to breach those gender differences which arise from culture. The problem arises when one goes against the gender differences which arise from sex.
I still dont think I got it right.
E
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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.
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RE: Women Who Dislike Dominant Women - 
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