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littlesarbonn -> RE: hard to find a (no fees) dominant female (10/18/2006 7:49:47 AM)
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You're asking a question many of us have asked many times before. Unfortunately, I don't really see any good advice other than to keep trying. Yes, you'll hear from lots of dominants who will say that they broke the mold by taking someone from the statistical slush pile of so many submissives, but you're shoveling uphill for miles, and unfortunately, unless you have the perseverence to continue doing the same thing in hopes of achieving success, you'll fall by the wayside like so many others that fall into a game theoretic design and quit the search.
If you're sincere, you are different from the flock. But you're going to have a difficult time attracting anyone because the flock is just as good as pretending to be what you might actually be. You're competing with the ad campaigns of a lot of companies that promise great products but have no manufacturing plant to deliver an actual product.
To be honest, I don't know how to break out of the pack. The few times I've succeeded, it's usually been with people who aren't local to me, or heaven forbid, aren't what I'm looking for (there seems to be this irrational belief that because there are so many of us and so few of them that a sincere submissive is required to accept whatever comes his way; which is interesting because one of the most common complaints is from women who can't stand men that put out so wide a net that they're considered as good as any other dominant woman to the seeker).
You're doing what I don't do, so you should at least be guaranteed a bit more success than me: You're actually contacting dominant women in the hopes of finding someone. I'm more of the reactive passion, indicating that I realize so many of us are inundating women with emails that I rarely contact anyone, and when I do, it's usually for conversation that has nothing to do with serving (and even when I do that, I rarely get a response anyway, so it just feeds into my belief that contacting women for potential service is a futile, useless effort).
So, what I've started to do is create an informational site that other submissives can access to kind of share an older school style of what it means to be a lifestyle, service submissive. Sure, it means I've kind of given up on finding anyone and have become more of an information source than anything else, but the alternative is to leave the community completely, which is not something I'm yet willing to do.
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