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RE: No Strings Housework - 11/7/2006 7:17:20 PM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		Cheers for you loveybunney.

(in reply to onlythewindknows)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/8/2006 9:48:40 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onlythewindknows
it could be that a Dominant might "just want the house cleaned" but actually i think that He or She would enjoy seeing the sub feel lowered by the task if they lean towards emotional sadism.

they are both getting something from this, as an (i like how you put it) "emotional S/m" exchange.  The sub knows he or she is being used for something that doesn't even have some sort of release, and the more the Dom(me) knows that the sub is feeling lowered that he or she is ONLY wanted for a mundane task.  A 'nilla would not understand this subtlety, and would probably say "oh here at LEAST let me buy you a cup of coffee for your efforts" or some such thing. To be honest, a 'nilla would just be baffled by the idea of someone wanting to clean a house w/out getting paid, perhaps even upset.


I agree that a vanilla might struggle with the concept of no-strings service. From what I have seen, not everyone in BDSM has encountered the matter which leaves room for communication and understanding the different approaches to and kinky aspects of service.

I appreciate the potential service has towards D/s and SM. Someone whose motivation for service is to experience D/s or SM would be dissatisfied if service did not create that feeling or space.

Incidentally, I enjoyed your display of wit and use of language in this thread ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 11/8/2006 10:00:10 AM >

(in reply to onlythewindknows)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/8/2006 9:57:13 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Denny17

I regard the writing positively baroque.  Online forum post are to express one's ideas in a timely fashion.  I dont know about you but when things are too long and wordy, I  pass them up.  Hey sea, hows about bottom lining this in 3 sentences or less pal?


I am amused because your post itself defies what you preach given how much you had to convey.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Denny17)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/8/2006 12:12:04 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66
From what patrice has said to Me...the motivation is to serve.
To feel useful in some way...I believe is what drives most submissives...I might be wrong though.

I have never met anyone so dang excited to see a sink full of dishes,but she is.
It is no pressure,non sexual,housekeeping...she dresses in what I would say is colonial style dresses.I know she feels comfortable here to be herself and just be a servant it fulfills that need of being needed.Thats what I gather from the talks W/we have had before she leaves.I could be way off base...but I doubt it.


Indeed some people enjoy being useful and it seems that doing so is the primary motivation for Patrice. I sense that in addition the primary motivation to feel useful, Patrice has other rewards that motivate service. I sense she enjoys dressing up and that she enjoys the opportunity to live the fantasy of being a servant. From your prior post, I think you are contributing effectively to help Patrice achieve that space of feeling like a servant. Thus, I sense she is able to enjoy three rewards in the service arrangement you have, which keeps her happy to continue to serve. So congratulations to both of you for achieving a working service relationship.

Cheers,

Sea







Thank you and Cheers back at ya

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/8/2006 5:47:53 PM   
onlythewindknows


Posts: 259
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
I appreciate the potential service has towards D/s and SM. Someone whose motivation for service is to experience D/s or SM would be dissatisfied if service did not create that feeling or space.

humility can be a way to enter into a mild level of subspace if ya happen to have a kink that way. it can be very centering and almost meditative.
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
Incidentally, I enjoyed your display of wit and use of language in this thread ;-)

aw thanks


_____________________________

As Darth once said: "you are beaten. It is useless to resist."

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/8/2006 6:19:48 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onlythewindknows
humility can be a way to enter into a mild level of subspace if ya happen to have a kink that way. it can be very centering and almost meditative.


Hmmm. I can enjoy humility as a kink. And I have indeed felt meditative at times during attentive service. I have not thought about it before but I don't think it comes from humility. Perhaps it does and I don't even know it. Perhaps it comes from something else.

In any case, I do not know much about the concept you describe (service, humility, deconstructing the ego) through personal experience but have seen some discussions go by that have given me basic awareness of the idea. I recall one such discussion that presented the process you describe as a spiritual experience. Persons knowledgeable about the subject spoke of Buddhism and Eastern philosophies, and of bliss found in shedding the ego. The thread is on another site and I am unable to post it here. One of the responders recommended "reading Ramana Maharshi, the biography of Ramakrishna, and the trilogy by Ram Das."

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 11/8/2006 6:20:31 PM >

(in reply to onlythewindknows)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/8/2006 8:47:05 PM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		i've always viewd "true" no-strings house work a bit like cross-dressing.  it is a kink, in and of itself, that often expresses itself in a bdsm context because either a) most people with this kink are also into many of the other kinks covered by bdsm or b) there's a lack of mono-kink support/social groups to satisfy the needs of a handful.

do i think it can exist in a vacume?  not really.  even in a case where the service itself is the motivating factor and pleasure in a job well done is the reward, eventually the human interaction of service and reward has to come into the picture.  to do otherwise fosters a resentment on the part of at least one party.  sometimes both.

personally, i think housework sits in a much happier place within the context of some form of relationship.  even in your case mistress sassy, your domestic has a relationship with you on which to base her interactions.  a framwork for her satisfaction if you will.

and sea, your writing is anything but baroque.  lengthy at times yes, boring and overly wordy....no.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/10/2006 8:47:26 AM   
strob


Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		I was wondering if You have asked this same question in "Ask a submissive" part of this forum and what were their responses? And how many would actually do some no-strings-housework?

(in reply to BossySSBBW)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/10/2006 10:06:59 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey
and sea, your writing is anything but baroque.  lengthy at times yes, boring and overly wordy....no.


Thank you :)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to firefey)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/10/2006 10:56:06 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Not a reply to anyone but I believed the "I offer no-strings attached service" once and that has made me very hestiant to do it again.

This person understood and we had a contract that said he'd show up once a week to do housework or yard work and in return I give clear directions, check out his work, and praise him or tell him to do it over again. He claimed all he wanted was to wear a collar and feel his work was valued.

Then I got a new trainee and this "service-only" person decided I was not living up to our contract when I took on a trainee.

But he wasn't my trainee and claimed he didn't want to be. Plus, hello, all ready had Fox here so it would be stupid if it was an anti-poly thing.

Frankly I just don't believe someone when they claim they just want to provide service.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/10/2006 10:59:59 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: firefey

i've always viewd "true" no-strings house work a bit like cross-dressing.  it is a kink, in and of itself, that often expresses itself in a bdsm context because either a) most people with this kink are also into many of the other kinks covered by bdsm or b) there's a lack of mono-kink support/social groups to satisfy the needs of a handful.

do i think it can exist in a vacume?  not really.  even in a case where the service itself is the motivating factor and pleasure in a job well done is the reward, eventually the human interaction of service and reward has to come into the picture.  to do otherwise fosters a resentment on the part of at least one party.  sometimes both.

personally, i think housework sits in a much happier place within the context of some form of relationship.  even in your case mistress sassy, your domestic has a relationship with you on which to base her interactions.  a framwork for her satisfaction if you will.

and sea, your writing is anything but baroque.  lengthy at times yes, boring and overly wordy....no.





I agree with it being part of the framework.Like Sea mentioned its more than just the actual serving,its the dressing up also.All of those lil things build the house.
I should make a note that patrice is Owned by Another and I am sort of a supplement way to get that extra servitude.
I am very thankful to her Mistress for allowing her to come here.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to firefey)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/10/2006 11:18:02 AM   
DivaZya


Posts: 103
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline 		I own a part time clean up boy, and I just realized that he's been Mine for .. several years now.   This is how it works for Me.
 The routine for him is much as it always has been:
he enters quietly -not speaking unless spoken to- strips, and dons whatever's in the side pocket of My playbag for his outfit - normally something in the way of thigh high stockings, garterbelt, a minimal thong, a cockcage, sometimes ankle or wrist cuffs.
he looks for any post-it's on the full length entry mirror for changes of orders.
he crawls to the bathroom, cleans. goes to the kitchen, cleans as much time as he has. He never stands in My presence in My home.
If I happen to have time, I will make comments to him, or snap My fingers for his attentance. If I have My Primary available, I torment the c.u.b. with having him watch (or listen only) to the sex in the same room and/or making him clean up after.
I do not consider that to be sex with the cub, nor do I expect to grant him that dessert.

As far as 'no-strings'?  My interaction with cub is never expected. Not guarenteed.
Rarely even indicated.

Often enough, he finishes, waits 5 minutes in a lovely position near the door, just in case I wanted to make a comment or demand of him, then he dresses and leaves quietly.
Often enough, he enters, does everything I set out in post-its only to find I have left the building, whereupon, he takes the position. waits 5 minutes. dresses and leaves quietly.
  Almost quarterly, I arrange a meeting to update over lunch: any questions, comments, suggestions or concerns?

My cub has kept a very good journal of 'debriefings' over the years. Soon as I set up My website, the innerworkings of a real submissive will be available for your viewing.
  Always the best Diva~Zya





_____________________________

~ D/s isn't based on fantasies- it may be motivated by them, but reality must be dealt with, and sometimes sharply! ~

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/13/2006 5:09:34 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn
If there isn't, I could pretty much go clean my own home and pretend there's a woman living there.


That's a great idea. I am going to leave female undergarments lying around my house so I can pretend this way when I clean ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/14/2006 1:25:58 PM   
chrisalabama


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		I love to clean nude and I love CFNM, clothed female nude male and i completely understand the no strings cleaning. I have done this many times.
There is nothing I love more than to be nude and cleaning for a Mistress. Especially nude.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/14/2006 9:25:54 PM   
Sissypinky


Posts: 52
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chrisalabama

I love to clean nude and I love CFNM, clothed female nude male and i completely understand the no strings cleaning. I have done this many times.
There is nothing I love more than to be nude and cleaning for a Mistress. Especially nude.


Oh for me as well.  Nude or preferably dressed to kill.  Every Mistress' household should have a sissy maid.  We offer no strings housework and make the most perfect of servants so obedient and anxiously striving to please no matter how impossible the demands or if we do or dont get a reward. 

Let me clean with my cleaning fetish on.  Rescue and take me from my awful male sex and transform me into a "maid-wanted" fetish "girl". i promise to be the envy of every Women... as i coquettlishly  sweet curtsy and say ... "Bonjour Madames!"

(in reply to chrisalabama)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/14/2006 10:45:09 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sissypinky

Oh for me as well.  Nude or preferably dressed to kill.  Every Mistress' household should have a sissy maid.  We offer no strings housework and make the most perfect of servants so obedient and anxiously striving to please no matter how impossible the demands or if we do or dont get a reward. 

Let me clean with my cleaning fetish on.  Rescue and take me from my awful male sex and transform me into a "maid-wanted" fetish "girl". i promise to be the envy of every Women... as i coquettlishly  sweet curtsy and say ... "Bonjour Madames!"


I have lurked about on this thread off and one since it started ... haven't posted, because we're not much into no strings housework - we don't want someone that we don't have a relationship with touching our stuff ... hell, we don't want most people that we do have some sort of relationship with touching our stuff. 

However, the thought of a sissy maid in my house just makes me cringe.  You may offer no strings housework, and make "the most perfect of servants" - but most sissies that we have run across would definitely NOT fit in that catagory.  Most have insisted upon their fetish being fullfilled despite our desires, have wanted us to spend gross ammounts of money on clothing them for "our pleasure", and of course, haven't wanted a job to help buying said clothes because they want to be 'house sissies' ... Even if crossdressing were a kink of ours, the attitude that all but one sissy that we have talked to has had, would have turned us off (mostly the fact that they insisted that we have to want crossdressers and sissies because we're lesbians and wouldn't take "no, we aren't lesbians, and no, we don't have to want crossdressers or sissies" for an answer) ... So no, every Mistress' household should NOT have a sissy maid - every Mistress' household should have what she wants (just like every Master's household should have what he wants).

(in reply to Sissypinky)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/15/2006 9:36:21 PM   
ruStings


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/13/2006
Status: offline 		I just finished cleaning house for a very healthy but temporarily incapacitated domme.   Scenes are significant pleasures for me - the times this Lady put me in sub space were, perhaps, one reason why I fell in love with her.  But I realy have no expectations and make no demands of any future physical relationship with her.  Besides the craziness of being in love with her I also grew to care very much what happens to her.  People clean the homes of people they love all the time.  In the end - no matter how you embelish lust - it still creates the intimacy and acceptance that love flows from.  For those jaded by it's abundance or doubting it's existence - the physical acts under the ruberic BDSM can be hazardous to your cynisism.  They creates a ground that is fertile for genuine and absolutely permanent cares and concerns to grow.   I would be very happy to clean my Ladies home if she were not incapacitaed too.  It would give me a framework to be around someone I care a great deal for.  Whether we ever scene again is not inconsequential but it is very much less important than that she is happy and I know it and help her with that happy life in whatever way is mutualy beneficial..  

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/16/2006 12:11:38 AM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		but would you feel this way about your service to her if you did not have such strong feelings for her?  i think that's mostly my point.  there has to be an emotional resonce, even is only quarterly, to keep the situation from becomming messy and resentfilled.

(in reply to ruStings)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/16/2006 3:39:29 PM   
ruStings


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/13/2006
Status: offline 		I wouldn't ordinarily clean a strangers home who wanted to remain aloof.  I doubt many would.  But everyone enters such arrangements extra-ordinarily.  For awhile it might remind of service to a loved one and be a great hapiness.  If the new mistress remains more a stranger than not then that arrangement would not likely work long.  Some level of closeness would be needed  for the arrangement to work and what level of intimacy depends on the needs of the housekeeper to relive earlier experiences or be satisfied with the  level of contact the dominant offers. 
 
  Dommes have as many needs for acceptance and intimacy as anyone else and they will work to keep such a servant satisfied ordinarily - even if that is a very vanilla looking exchange of work for attention and the dominant nor the servant might admit to any aquiescence to the servants desires.. 

(in reply to firefey)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: No Strings Housework - 11/17/2006 1:22:35 AM   
firefey


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruStings
 Some level of closeness would be needed  for the arrangement to work and what level of intimacy depends on the needs of the housekeeper to relive earlier experiences or be satisfied with the  level of contact the dominant offers.  
 


i wonder how many other domasitcs see their service as a way to reconnect with their previous emotional experiences.  this is a new reason for domestic service, for me anyway.  anyone?



and compleatly ot for just a second.  i just hit my 100 post mark.

(in reply to ruStings)
Profile   Post #: 100
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