a Master's right

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

a Master's right

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> a Master's right

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:07:45 AM

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

i was in real life training with a Master after many months of online communication until a week ago when after a training session, he stopped all communication with me with no explanation of why. Is this his right? After several attempts to communicate with him, i have given up but i am very confused and interested as to what other Doms/Masters thoughts are on this. my profile is not viewable as he posts on collarme but i am not a player and would appreciate constructive repies to this. thankyou.

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:16:05 AM

Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

peach,
while I suppose it is His "right" as you say, it doesn't make it what others would do. I for one would not walk away from something or someone without an explination. After spending time with this person I can only imagine what you are going through and for that I am sorry. Maybe something came up but I don't know that you should hold your breath either. I hope you get threw this quick and grow as a result.
Lord Velvet

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:18:02 AM

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

*shrug* It's his right as much as it's anyone's right to do as they please. Why he did it is "his stuff." How you react to it is "your stuff." You can only control and learn from "your stuff." If he's refusing to answer you, he's not being very adult about ending the relationship. Perhaps he got what he wanted and is moving on or perhaps he simply doesn't know how to handle a break up in a repsonsible manner. Sounds like you're better off learning that fact now rather than later. Cry, get mad, then keep looking. Not everyone behaves like a child.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:20:13 AM

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peachsub

i was in real life training with a Master after many months of online communication until a week ago when after a training session, he stopped all communication with me with no explanation of why. Is this his right? After several attempts to communicate with him, i have given up but i am very confused and interested as to what other Doms/Masters thoughts are on this. my profile is not viewable as he posts on collarme but i am not a player and would appreciate constructive repies to this. thankyou.

That would greatly depend on what you both agreed to in the beginning, and if that was one of the areas he had stated or had been upfront with. Do you remember him stating that he has the right in the future to cut off the connection at any time as he sees fit? If not, then perhaps, something urgent came up and he had to make a quick exit? Stuff like that has been known to happen also, although rare. How well do you believe you know him, and do you believe he is the kind of person who does this to others? Without more depth of your situation, i can only speculate.

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:25:39 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

ERM... I guess it is anyones right to be an Asshole it doesnt make it ok though and it doesnt make it exeptable for him to do it just because he is a self proclaimed Dom.. Hope that answers your question.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to raiken)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:29:50 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I am fairly sure he was in a typing accident.

Mavis Beacon

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:31:36 AM

Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peachsub

i was in real life training with a Master after many months of online communication until a week ago when after a training session, he stopped all communication with me with no explanation of why. Is this his right?

Yes, it is his right - no one is required to communicate with someone if they do not want to, unless there is a promise or contract otherwise.

No, it is not what I'd expect from a trainer, or anyone else - dominant or submissive. Personally, I would likely consider it rude.

quote:

After several attempts to communicate with him, i have given up but i am very confused and interested as to what other Doms/Masters thoughts are on this. my profile is not viewable as he posts on collarme but i am not a player and would appreciate constructive repies to this. thankyou.

Much would depend upon reasonable expectation - how much RT training actually happened, what were the time expectations when you two last communicated, etc. If you two had one RT session and he bailed - well, it's rude, but he's bailed. If you two had several weeks of 3x per week sessions, and he disappeared - there may be a much more serious problem. If the expectation was that he'd be in touch after a week, and it's been 8 days, that's a minor concern - if you had reason to expect contact daily, and it's been a week - that's much more likely to be a problem.

I've got a few emails that I'm being slow about answering - one, for not having decided how I want to respond, and another, because I'm not sure how to word the response I need to make. It's been very busy here, from about Friday until today - I've just had lots of other things to do, and my time here is limited to short spurts of reading/posting on the forums - the email will take more time and care than I've been able to give before today.

Is it at all possible that this sort of thing is what you're on the other end of?

Midnight Writer

_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:32:17 AM

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Yup...everyone has the "right" to do whatever. As MasterFireMaam says...your stuff is your stuff and his stuff is his stuff.

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:37:25 AM

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Thankyou to all who have responded. i thought i knew Him well ; He was my mentor and i trusted Him completely. There was no mention of Him wanting the relationship to end while i was with Him the last time but i had noticed He seemed troubled by something.

i am moving on, but it affects my future relationships because this one had quality time in it, so it makes it difficult to think of opening back up to someone else.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:38:52 AM

Tobes

Posts: 39
Joined: 5/25/2006
Status: offline

"Right" as in, is he allowed to do this? Unfortunately, yes. I've had this happen to me as well, with submissives. I think that, online or realtime, lifestyle or vanilla, people have the option to walk away from a relationship if they think they've got good reason -- you're in it for yourself and, excepting the exceptions, that's who you have to look out for.

But there are certainly good and bad ways to accomplish it. Making up your mind is one thing, but silence as a break-up method is harsh, considering the fact that words are the primary medium of a relationship. He could've talked it over with you, and even if he had issues that couldn't be resolved, at least you would've known what was going to happen and something of why. It's the questions that eat you up, and while knowing might not mitigate the pain, at least it wouldn't magnify it.

So, to be glib, it was his right to end the relationship, but the way he did certainly wasn't right.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:39:14 AM

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

Is this his right?

Sure he has that right. Just as much as you have the right if you were to excercise it.

I can remember early on in talks with Master; he told me once that sometimes he will just 'disappear' for days to weeks at a time; with no word before hand and no communication during.

/shrug

It was something that I accepted; and something that he has the right to do if he so chooses. I did not, and do not have to like it; but it was something that I accepted .

Since I am not privvy to the conditions that you and this Master had in place; I can not guess as to his reasons for disappearing.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:40:06 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

In my case, it would affect me so that I would try to see this type of thing coming or better consider the ramifications of what I am doing, but it would not affect any relationship, cause you aint my ex-wife you fuckin' bitch typa thing, know what I mean, Vern?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:40:09 AM

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

We spoke almost everyday...He was very ingrained in my personal life. and we had sessioned 3 times prior to the last...

(in reply to emdoub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:42:47 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

peach sub
I clicked on your profile and it shows up as a couple. I am a bit confused about that. But i wanted to comment on the issue about him dissapearing without a word. That also happened to me. I thought things were going quite well. Then I didnt hear from him for about 10 days. No e mail,nobody answered the phone etc. I was quite confused,wondering. Then a message, saying he had been ill. Of course I could understand something like that,everybody can. But can a person be that ill that they cant come to the computer or phone? Especially since he conducts alot of his business dealings online. Then again nothing from him for two weeks. Then a message he had been out of town on business,and will be for another 2 or 3 weeks. He also said that he still wanted me but could understand if I changed my mind. I think that was his way of saying goodbye. For me what hurt the most was no explanation to why. If you are finished with me cant you just come out and tell me? That would make things much easier.

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:43:21 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I knew it, goddammit!!!!!

3 sessions and talking like this --- you ain't over your early early 20's are you?

Why do I continually play delphi oracle to profile not found, and the 10,000 virgins thing was a fuckin' scam cooked up by benji or someone anyway.

Ron

Jesus take me now.....

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:48:00 AM

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

In all fairness, it's hard to keep a good conversation, much less relationship, when one of the participants has been incarcerated without the other's knowledge.

That would qualify as something troubling him.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to peachsub)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:49:41 AM

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

What did you know? He had been my mentor for 5 months helping me navigate thru other relationships. Just because we only sessioned 4 times does not mean the groundwork, the foundation of the relationship had not been laid. The real time was a culmination of hours and hours of trust building to actually be able to turn over control to another person. That is why this hurts so bad. 4x and then no word at all.
And yes, i am over my 20's...

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I knew it, goddammit!!!!!

3 sessions and talking like this --- you ain't over your early early 20's are you?

Why do I continually play delphi oracle to profile not found, and the 10,000 virgins thing was a fuckin' scam cooked up by benji or someone anyway.

Ron

Jesus take me now.....

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:50:52 AM

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

<...pokes Ron...just to make him giggle...........or at least smile a little>

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 10:53:03 AM

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

When you're bad, Jeff.......you're really, really BAD!!!

(in reply to mstrjx)

RE: a Master's right - 11/22/2006 11:01:03 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

lol,

one of these days I am going to fashion my own post like the OPs.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Bearlee)

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> a Master's right

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.063