pixelslave
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Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
quote:
ORIGINAL: sjskuared
Although this could be seen as humorous I don't really think it is. Why are there so many more males seeking females? My pet theory is that men want sex more than women want it. (I never understood long term denial.)
My fantasy is actually finding a dominant woman who has similar interests to mine.
In answer to Akasha's post: not on the first date.
I know, I'll answer this from my point of view and then wait to be shot down!
There is a difference between male and female sexuality, but the level of drive within the sexes and between the sexes is variable; its possible to find a guy who is less interested than a gal for instance.
Males are driven one way around, and women the other way in my current theory. A guy is aroused by the sight (etc) of a gal and more so if she is interested in him. A gal is aroused by interest from him and the sight (etc) stuff develops afterwards. Thus, denying him can be effective for her, in that it keeps his interest in her high - in evolutionary terms I guess, testing his commitment to her and possible eventual offspring.
Of course, the above is probably completely wrong - the reason there are more guys than gals actually being that there are a lot of married men on here, looking for extra curricula activities, whilst gals in LTRs tend not to do the same.
E
Lady Ellen,
In general, I'll agree that men (particularly when younger) are more visual that women. But I'll also say that it really depends on the man and his maturity. Personally, I need to have an emotional and mential connection with a woman on some level before I want to allow myself to be intimate with her. Otherwise, I feel as though I am rushing into what could be a mistake. 
I doesn't mean that I won't have a sexual response to her, only that I don't wish to act on it. I presume the same thing happens to women as well, and it has been my anectdotal experience that is the case. I say the latter in part, as I have had to say "no" at times when women have wanted to proceed faster than I was ready for. Some women have not handled this very well and have not been interested in further dates after that, even though I merely felt the need to get to know them better before proceeding. 
The more I discover I like on the inside, the more a woman will become attractive for me on the outside as well. There have been women I barely noticed when I entered a room and upon talking with them quickly became very attractive attractive to me. Their inner beauty can shine through such that it is all I can see. What is on the outside then simply becomes a bonus for me. Perhaps I'm just different, I don't really know. But I've also met men who feel the same way. There have been physically very beautiful women I've met, who upon speaking became very unatractive to me. I couldn't be with a woman who couldn't carry on an intelligent conversation that interested and inspired me; someone creative and unique in her own special way would be a requirement for me. There's more I could say, but I think that's enough to convey the idea of what I mean. 
As to sjskuared's question about denial, I'll say this much in that regard. If there's one thing I greatly enjoy, it a woman who knows how to tease and build my desire. I don't think I'd like it in terms of long term denial. But when she builds it for a day to the point that she's all that I can think of, you can bet that pleasing her becomes all that's on my mind and it also moves to the top of my priority list! I suspect it is the same with long term denial, only the teasing and denial is likely on a different level. I just prefer it to be a form of extended foreplay that lasts throughout the day, or perhaps into the next. As I've been "used" for a woman's pleasure and then locked for the night. A frustrating experience for sure, but one that also enhances the feeling of being owned and submitting to another's desires. 
I can cope with short term denial, as I know that also builds my desires. I would hope that if it were to continue that for my health there'd be some kind of prostate massage. That's something I've not experienced that regardless of denial sounds interesting and intriquing to me.
At my age, my prostate will soon become a health concern for me of significant proportions of which other men should also be aware. A great proportion of men who die over 50 will do so from cancer of the prostate or will have other problems related to it. Massage is one treatment recommended to prevent many problem related to it. I've watched someone close to me pass on from that kind of cancer, and it was not a pleasant way for him to go. 
That aside, I'd like to be with a woman who'd help me learn the Taoist techniques of male multiple orgasms, where one doesn't frequently ejaculate. Instead they preserve the energy for later release. In doing so, I'd be able to pleasure her for much longer periods and not go through the post orgasmic refractive periods that normally occur with men, yet experience multiple heightened pleasures just as if I had. We'd both benefit from the training that I'd require. If she wanted to lock me in a chastity device following this kind of play, it wouldn't matter to me, as I'd have already had my release(s) even though there'd been no fluids. 
So if the ladies wanted to know what one of my fantasies or desires would be, it would be to find a Domme who'd take the time to work with me to learn how to become multi-orgasmic in that way. While there are other pleasures and sensations I'd like to experience as well, that would likely be at the top of my list. I'd say that would be something that would be mutually beneficial to both of us. But thats just one of my thoughts. 
- pixel
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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!
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