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RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/25/2006 9:18:39 PM

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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I dont know, I use little one for male subs like most people use honey or sweetheart. I refuse to call anyone "baby" and it irks me when someone does it to me. There are nicknames I can cope with... having had family from WV I got used to not actually having a name in conversations. However, I hate when a Dom uses submisive nicknames with me, thinking that it wil change how I react to them. If someone is actually a friend of mine, they can usually call me whatever they want. Angel has called me sweetie a few times, although it gets him raised eyebrows. And his friends have a host of names for me. Southerners.
However, until someone IS close enough to actualy know my real name, I dont necessarily like pet ones. I know, I am wierd.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/25/2006 9:19:01 PM

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Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
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You know, on reflection, maybe we should come up with some cute names of our own like "my itty bitty boy" or "my little inchworm"???

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Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/25/2006 9:22:01 PM

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LOL I think I would bust up laughing if someone typed that to me. Please tell me this is an exagerration!

re: the height thing, I am under 5'2" myself. So technically I may be considered a "little one" But I am pretty sure my profile doesn't list my height. Little one seems more like a generic term to me, rather than one researched at length.
Kyst
(Edited to add.. WOW it does list my height! I'll be darned maybe someone did read it!)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CandleInTheWind
HOW DARE YOU QUESTION
things of that nature irk me and earn you an instant BLOCK

I stand in at 4-9 if they write that then i know that my profile was at least scanned sorry there folks

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 11/25/2006 9:23:44 PM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 12:00:57 AM

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Joined: 10/16/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I will admit this tends to be a pet peeve of mine but I can feel my teeth cringe when I see those words typed from strangers.
"How are you little one?" "How're you doing baby?" "Sweet dreams, little one."
Egads. These people don't even know me!
I know this is my own personal bias, but it just ticks me off as manufactured closeness.
Do you all have words or phrases that just irritate you when said by a stranger? Or.. do I need another cup of coffee?
Kyst

"hon" arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

huh. This one just strikes me odd. I very often use 'hon' when talking to people, online or not, male or female. It's not overly familiar, just friendly...I'd never use it in a condescending way.

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 2:46:20 AM

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I find the third person 'speak' slightly irritating but I only really start to make personal judgements about the writer when he/she is incapable of forming the sentences correctly. It makes understanding what on earth they are on about impossible. It seems far more sensible to me to speak in the first person to make your point than use an incorrectly formed third person and leave me at least, wondering what your point is and only able to pick up on the general attitude pervading the post. Then again it may be me at fault, or it may be something that has difficulty crossing the atlantic, well to me at least. It is possible that it is me who is missing something in these cases.

I believe LA said something about newbies responding to subbie and girlie and the like. ( Forgive me I still havent worked out the quote button ). I used to melt when called subbie. It caused an internal cheer, 'Yes I am submissive and someone can see it!' I now so clearly see what a predator magnet I was. These days I have trouble imparting any information, I do not show affection easily. I do not mind the cunt, bitch, slut addresses as an assessment of my character (obviously by people who know me well enough!). I don't find anything shameful in them and they are probably quite accurate. Interestingly enough a Dom's opinion of me being a 'cunt' and the humiliation he heaped into the word was strong enough to make me feel uncomfortable at the address. This is quite startling for me because my sense of self is quite well centred and it's a strong indication of the powerful affect he had on me. ( Note lack of capitals, I'm on that wagon train too

)

And if anyone wants to read a rant I have one I'm quite proud of on my profile. ( I felt sooo much better afterwards!) The interesting aspect to this rant is how many times the 'Dom' in question has attempted to speak to me since, and all the different nicks he's used. It seems some people really don't like 'No.'

(in reply to Squeakers)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 3:20:25 AM

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Ok, it may be a southern thing and that's all well and good, but I dislike it intensely, there are some people that cause me to want to rip them apart for using it.. worse yet would be the no noun at all thing... No "ma'am", "mistress", name... nothing... it's kinda like using the ole' "HEY YOU" type thing, or in a room with more then just the two of us in it it's a guessing game "are they talking to me?" type thing... grrrr... I hate it more then I have words to describe. From a stranger that doesn't know me that's one thing, from someone that knows me well... that's a major issue.

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 6:20:32 AM

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Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

Ok, it may be a southern thing and that's all well and good, but I dislike it intensely, there are some people that cause me to want to rip them apart for using it.. worse yet would be the no noun at all thing... No "ma'am", "mistress", name... nothing... it's kinda like using the ole' "HEY YOU" type thing, or in a room with more then just the two of us in it it's a guessing game "are they talking to me?"
Jewel

Good to see someone else who appreciates good grammar. Ive had a few girls in the past used to have a bad habit of saying "say or do what?" In response to a question, needless to say My bloomington campus paddle resolved that etiquette issue! <g>

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Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 6:29:38 AM

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I think it depends on your age. When younger I hated all terms of endearment. It sounded hollow and false to me. Now in my 40's I really dont care. Ive finally gotten used to "ma'am". That was the biggest insult in my 30's. I could actually handle Madam more than ma'am.

Just take it all as a surface word I guess. People just toss them around in a non threatening manner. So its harmless. I still havent picked up on calling people "hun" but I do now call children sweetheart. And I thought I'd NEVER stoop so low.

(in reply to Morrigel)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 6:33:37 AM

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Around the office (about 60 people) we rarely use given names (unless around customers / clients). "Hey, Sug! Hi, Baby Ma! Whatcha doin', Love Chunk?"

~chuckle~

I wouldn't trade a single second of it. I already know what my real name is - I just like hearing new ones.

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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to sophia37)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 7:56:08 AM

LeMis

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Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmakeMme

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I call it "Tonto-speak"

You go fight that band of murderous train thieves, Tonto, and I'll stand here behind this rock! ~~ Lone Ranger

"You betchum, Keemosabe!.. Tonto go now!" (with apologies to Jay Silverheels, RIP)

_____________________________

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Lincoln

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 7:58:49 AM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

Oh yeah... DITTO!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Actually, when spoken by a southern man, those terms are quite acceptable. Sexy as heck, in fact. But that is spoken. It would still make me cringe to see it typed out by a stranger. Now.. a southern drawl whispered in my ear or just spoken with a smile from a man I just met.. <puddle>
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShreveportMaster

Chuckles,
Hon, luv, etc is a Southern thing, we use it all the time, and most of our girls (I'm talking those who were raised here, or who moved and adopted the customs, etc) love it.

_____________________________

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Lincoln

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 12:45:45 PM

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Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
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I have no issues with it when the term is coming from an older man, especially when I lived in Florida. But it was weird when my waitress kept calling me "dear". And I hate cute nicknames in relationships.

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Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to LeMis)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 1:14:41 PM

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Joined: 10/18/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack
And when subs write about something that happened with a "Master and I were at dinner the other night" or a "Master went out on a business trip" type phrasing, I just want to puke. For me, it's like the "This slave" phrase. Protocol like that leaves me wondering if the relationship is genuine. Again, it seems like someone is trying too damn hard to denote their role.

No wrath here, just wondering...Did you call your parents Mom and Dad? What do you call your doctor? If in court, what do you call a judge? How do you address a poilice officer?

I'm really glad you brought up that analogy; it helped me to understand what bugs me about the sentence construction. If someone wrote "Judge and I went to lunch," that would also drive me crazy. It's missing an article. "The Judge and I went to lunch" or "My mom and I went shopping" doesn't bother me at all. Similarly, I have no problem with "My Master and I went to dinner," but "Master and I went to dinner" makes me roll my eyes because of the missing article. I would have never been able to pinpoint the problem if you hadn't discussed other titles. Thanks!

This leads me to my next point, which is about the negativity you noted in your post: It's bad grammar that bothers me. I don't care what people call each other in their relationships. Hey, if it's SSC, between adults, and leads to orgasmic bliss, that's fabulous! And it's not my business either. But when someone posts, they are asking others for their advice. Then, I do mind bad grammar because I am reading the post. Someone has asked for someone else to read it, and, as such, should use language clearly. To me, it's impolite to ask for advice without taking the time to write about a situation well. So, it rubs me the wrong way when I see it in posts.

Thus, when articles are dropped, words are randomly capitalized, and pronouns are massacred, my nerves are strained. I worked for seven years as a teacher and three as an editor. At this point, I can't help but wince at bad sentence construction, even though I understand this is an Internet forum that calls for informal language.

Again, I'm glad you brought it up. I would never want anyone to think that I was annoyed by how they chose to refer to their partners or themselves. I'm only annoyed by bad writing. I am a writer; I can't help it.

I offer my apologies to anyone I offended. I'm sure those people who have not worked as editors, teachers, writers and the like or who do not take grammar seriously may feel like I'm being condescending or nit-picky, and I apologize if you feel like I'm being rude. But I can't really apologize for taking grammar seriously. I love words too much to apologize for that. It's the writer's curse, I suppose.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 1:25:15 PM

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The construction that really disturbs me is 'my Sir'. I see 'Sir' as an honorific, and can just about accept it being used as a title which replaces a name (as in 'Dear Sir' or 'yes, Sir'). But how can you possibly use it with a posessive. The phrase 'the master of' actually makes sense, so 'my Master' has some logic to it. But 'the Sir of' is nonsensical....so why do people say 'my Sir'?

Laura

(in reply to jblack)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 1:32:14 PM

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JBlack, Thank you for replying to my post. What if I were to say, "Mom and I went to lunch?" She is Mom to me, after all. It's the name I always called her, even though it is not her birth name. I call my aunt "Tita" (Spanish word for Auntie). These are names to me, therefore there is no missing article. As for my Master...he is Master to me. Just like saying "John and I went to lunch," I would say "Master and I went to lunch." Just like saying "Mom and I went to lunch," and so on. It's all in how you look at it, I suppose.

As for those who post with imperfect grammar, I suppose I tend to give people a break about such things (except in published documents, then it is annoying to me). I suppose it boils down to personal preference. There are a lot of OPs that do not specifically ask for advice, but who are initiating conversation about a particular topic. It is your choice to read it. Simply because someone hopes you will read it does not require you to do so. I might see a hitch hiker on the side of the road and drive past him...doesn't mean I am going to pick him up.

I am not trying to be argumentative here. My curiosity is in why things effect people emotionally. I might become annoyed by a certain mannerism or a certain writing style, but enough to "want to puke?" (as you put it). What nerve is it striking, exactly, that elicits such a strong reply in people? To me, that is more thought provoking than the way someone writes. In Off Topics, there is an entire thread about people who misspell or use poor grammar. The strong emotions expressed in that thread simply baffle me. With all the suffering going on in this life, people choose to get angry or ill by a writing mannerism. I find that quite intriguing.

I'd much rather help someone remedy their shorcomings than ridicule them for them. Of course, not everyone can be like me...heh.

(in reply to jblack)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 2:28:31 PM

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While it doesn't chap my bottom if someone chooses to call another Master, it has always left me shaking my head. Until the post about grammer, it was never clear to me as to why. But dang it, that is it! I do understand that some people like to announce the state of being possessed in any way they can. I can recall saying, my boyfriend says.., my husband thinks, my mate does this.. with a sense of pride that told everyone I was a proud member of a duo.
I DO understand the headspace. But the, "master and I" speak secretly made me roll my eyes. Thank you. LOL now I can understand why they do it, AND why it has always sparked mockery in my head.
I love it when guilt is assauged.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 3:46:53 PM

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeggyO
I don't understand why people feel that they can treat submissives like second class citizens just because they are submissives. Being dominant or submissive is a personal choice within the context of a relationship. It's not a social role and BDSM is not a caste system.

This pretty much pegs my feelings on the issue. Thanks, Peggy.

(in reply to PeggyO)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 4:01:43 PM

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack
And when subs write about something that happened with a "Master and I were at dinner the other night" or a "Master went out on a business trip" type phrasing, I just want to puke. For me, it's like the "This slave" phrase. Protocol like that leaves me wondering if the relationship is genuine. Again, it seems like someone is trying too damn hard to denote their role.

No wrath here, just wondering...Did you call your parents Mom and Dad? What do you call your doctor? If in court, what do you call a judge? How do you address a poilice officer?

I'm really glad you brought up that analogy; it helped me to understand what bugs me about the sentence construction. If someone wrote "Judge and I went to lunch," that would also drive me crazy. It's missing an article. "The Judge and I went to lunch" or "My mom and I went shopping" doesn't bother me at all. Similarly, I have no problem with "My Master and I went to dinner," but "Master and I went to dinner" makes me roll my eyes because of the missing article. I would have never been able to pinpoint the problem if you hadn't discussed other titles. Thanks!

This leads me to my next point, which is about the negativity you noted in your post: It's bad grammar that bothers me. I don't care what people call each other in their relationships. Hey, if it's SSC, between adults, and leads to orgasmic bliss, that's fabulous! And it's not my business either. But when someone posts, they are asking others for their advice. Then, I do mind bad grammar because I am reading the post. Someone has asked for someone else to read it, and, as such, should use language clearly. To me, it's impolite to ask for advice without taking the time to write about a situation well. So, it rubs me the wrong way when I see it in posts.

Thus, when articles are dropped, words are randomly capitalized, and pronouns are massacred, my nerves are strained. I worked for seven years as a teacher and three as an editor. At this point, I can't help but wince at bad sentence construction, even though I understand this is an Internet forum that calls for informal language.

Again, I'm glad you brought it up. I would never want anyone to think that I was annoyed by how they chose to refer to their partners or themselves. I'm only annoyed by bad writing. I am a writer; I can't help it.

I offer my apologies to anyone I offended. I'm sure those people who have not worked as editors, teachers, writers and the like or who do not take grammar seriously may feel like I'm being condescending or nit-picky, and I apologize if you feel like I'm being rude. But I can't really apologize for taking grammar seriously. I love words too much to apologize for that. It's the writer's curse, I suppose.

I call my owner, "Sir". To me, that's his "name". Thus, there is no missing article if I say, "Sir and I went to lunch." It's what I call him - it's his "name".

(in reply to jblack)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 4:12:13 PM

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Joined: 11/21/2006
From: Bristol, UK
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I tend to call most people dude, whoever they are. Or man. (Gender? Pffffft.)

I call my closest friends babes, and little one... well it only makes sense to call people little one if they're.. a little one. No? If I use little one to refer to an adult, there is a 'my' before it, and I like short arses

_____________________________

"When God gives you AIDS -- and God DOES, give you AIDS -- make lemonAIDS!"

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 4:12:21 PM

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

You must know however, that many newbies WILL respond positively to such immediate gestures- so the predators can spot right off who is susceptible to their methods and who isn't.

You say predators as if that were a bad thing! LOL

Hi Liz. Long time no see.

_____________________________

Master Hyde
A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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