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RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/26/2006 6:53:46 PM   
jblack


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

JBlack,  Thank you for replying to my post. What if I were to say, "Mom and I went to lunch?"  She is Mom to me, after all.  It's the name I always called her, even though it is not her birth name.  I call my aunt "Tita" (Spanish word for Auntie).  These are names to me, therefore there is no missing article.  As for my Master...he is Master to me.  Just like saying "John and I went to lunch," I would say "Master and I went to lunch."    Just like saying "Mom and I went to lunch," and so on.  It's all in how you look at it, I suppose.

As for those who post with imperfect grammar, I suppose I tend to give people a break about such things (except in published documents, then it is annoying to me).  I suppose it boils down to personal preference.  There are a lot of OPs that do not specifically ask for advice, but who are initiating conversation about a particular topic.  It is your choice to read it.  Simply because someone hopes you will read it does not require you to do so.  I might see a hitch hiker on the side of the road and drive past him...doesn't mean I am going to pick him up. 

I am not trying to be argumentative here.  My curiosity is in why things effect people emotionally. I might become annoyed by a certain mannerism or a certain writing style, but enough to "want to puke?" (as you put it).  What nerve is it striking, exactly, that elicits such a strong reply in people?  To me, that is more thought provoking than the way someone writes.  In Off Topics, there is an entire thread about people who misspell or use poor grammar.  The strong emotions expressed in that thread simply baffle me.  With all the suffering going on in this life, people choose to get angry or ill by a writing mannerism.  I find that quite intriguing. 

I'd much rather help someone remedy their shorcomings than ridicule them for them.  Of course, not everyone can be like me...heh.


Thanks for replying to my reply.

As for your first point, I think that we probably have a different conversational style. I don't say "Mom and I went to lunch" unless I'm talking to my sisters, who would also use the term "Mom." Usually, I say, "My Mom and I went to lunch." We just must be used to different sentence constructions in that particular case. Unless everyone calls my Mom "Mom" (which would be scary), then it's not her name to them, so it seems awkward and rude for me to treat it as such when conversing with them.

While you didn't mention this point, others did. The expression "My Sir" makes little sense to me because of the way that "Sir" is generally used. No one really says, "Thank you, My Sir," but they may very well say, "Thank you, Sir." I would suspect that's because "Sir" is an honorific and "Master" is a title. I've never thought about either as a name because they are both earned, so that might be why articles come into play for me in the first place.

As for the vehemence of the reaction to bad grammar (yes, there is another thread on this), I can't tell you why it elicits such a strong response. All I know is that I spend much of my professional life in the pursuit of good grammar and proper sentence construction, so it means quite a bit to me. It is odd that I have a visceral response, but my preoccupation with language is the best reason I can provide.

When responding to posts, I don't mention sentence construction or grammar (unless one is so unclear that I can't understand the problem or unless the usage of language has been addressed already). I only mention grammar here since we are discussing language. But if someone posted a message that explained that "Master and I went to dinner," I would not bring up my opinion on grammar because that's unimportant to the question at hand. I would focus on the question posed or observation made by the writer and would never mention the sentence construction if I had anything to add. If I have nothing to say that will help or be of use to the writer, I tend not to reply. As you said, one doesn't have to.

And I think I tend not to "help someone remedy" a "shortcoming" because that puts me into teacher mode, a mode I'm trying to avoid from here on out. Mocking someone, however, lets me stay in "smart ass" mode, a mode that I love to be in until I'm spanked right out of it.

Ah, a girl can dream, yes?




(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/27/2006 12:05:45 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		And I thank you, once again :)

It's funny because sometimes I say "My Master," or "My Mom," and other times I just say Master or Mom.  Sometimes when referring to my doctor I say "Doc says such n such" and sometimes I say "My doctor says such n such."  Maybe it depends on my mood.  Both work for me.  It never dawned on me that it could be perceived as rude by referring to someone by the name with which I know them. I had an Italian grandmother who we as grandkids called Nonna (means grandmother in Italian).  Heck, until I was an adolescent, I thought that was her actual name.  So I always referred to her as Nonna, to whomever I was speaking with.  I wonder, since it was in a different language, if that would be considered rude, as she is not my audiences Nonna.  It's an interesting topic to mull (maybe my OCD has kicked in, causing me to continue this conversation lol).

I also see your "My Sir" example differently.  When talking to my Master, I might say, "I love you, My Master" or "My Love," or "Dear Master," etc.  So I can see someone calling her dom "My Sir."  It's kind of a way of endearment for me.

As to your emotional response to bad grammar, I can understand (from what you have posted) that you are passionate about grammar and language, and I do understand one having such a negative response to witnessing the sabotaging of such a passion (ask me why I hate Charo for that reason...ha).  I appreciate your explanation of this, as it helps understand where others may come from.  Perhaps they are also passionate about language, and that's why they create threads on the destruction of it.

I also respect your theory of not commenting pointing out someone's deficient grammar, simply for the sake of pointing it out.  In most cases, I see people just trying to make others feel bad.  I guess that's something I'm passionate about - I have negative reaction when I see people pointing out someone's flaws to make themselves look/feel better.

Nice chatting with you about this :)

Sorry to the OP for the hijack.  It was too interesting for me to pass up.

(in reply to jblack)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/27/2006 12:24:47 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I call the men around me hon, honey, sweety all the time. When I'm in rare form or if they tick me off I'll pull out snooky-wook-ums.

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(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/27/2006 8:05:48 AM   
AuburnLady40


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/29/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlethistle

....so why do people say 'my Sir'?

Laura

To denote their ownership or to profess their property??


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Profile   Post #: 104
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/27/2006 8:10:21 AM   
AuburnLady40


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/29/2004
Status: offline 		Nothing irks me worse then to be called "Sweety" by another female, particulary in a resturaunt, by the server.  "Ma"am" will suffice.







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Profile   Post #: 105
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/27/2006 8:52:43 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		LMAO.. snooky-wook-ums!

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I call the men around me hon, honey, sweety all the time. When I'm in rare form or if they tick me off I'll pull out snooky-wook-ums.


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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/27/2006 5:09:54 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Someone called me a yummy mummy this morning in an email.
It made me laugh.  And someone asked me what kind of flower did I think I was. 

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/27/2006 9:55:53 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

  Actually, when spoken by a southern man, those terms are quite acceptable.  Sexy as heck, in fact.  But that is spoken.  It would still make me cringe to see it typed out by a stranger.  Now.. a southern drawl whispered in my ear or just spoken with a smile from a man I just met.. <puddle>
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShreveportMaster

Chuckles,
Hon, luv, etc is a Southern thing, we use it all the time, and most of our girls (I'm talking those who were raised here, or who moved and adopted the customs, etc) love it.



LOL...  I was just going to say that many Southern people (men and women) call females things like "sweetie, hun, missy, etc."  It's just kind of the culture to some, I suppose, myself included.  I'm not put off by any of these things and have been known to call other girls these things, too.  No harm, no foul...  If I wanted to be disrespectful or offensive, well, let's just say that the person would know it by my tone, regardless of what the word was. 

Oh, and Kyst...  I agree with you re: the Southern manly "growl" of certain words in my ear...  oh my... 

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(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/28/2006 5:00:44 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		Using Fast Reply...

I don't like to be called anything other than my name (or if I'm online my nickname - capitalized, not purposefully lower cased).  The only exceptions to that are by my owner or my immediate family.

C~


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(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/28/2006 8:27:53 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

Using Fast Reply...

I don't like to be called anything other than my name (or if I'm online my nickname - capitalized, not purposefully lower cased).  The only exceptions to that are by my owner or my immediate family.

C~



Ditto, all of it.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/28/2006 9:17:41 PM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline 		I hate false flattery, to have a guy start out "you georgous creature" makes me want to just delete the message.  I know I am reasonably attractive but by no means a georgous creature. 
To be given pet names before you are even talking just defeats the whole purpose of building a bond.  If he is going to treat every female like his hearts desire then what are you.  I am willing to share if that be the way the household is, but not with strangers.  I do use pet names but not until I mean them.  I call my Master my love and sometimes darling now, but  mainly I call him my Lord.


Patina   slave to {PM}

With His Chains I Have Been Set Free

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RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/28/2006 9:42:12 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

And someone asked me what kind of flower did I think I was. 


lol.   and was your answer "two lip" ?

<Ok that was bad> 

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marie.


I give good agita.









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Profile   Post #: 112
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/28/2006 10:10:00 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		An intersting difference between the US & UK on this matter, is it tends to be a northern thing here in England to use darling, hun (note the "u"!), pet, love,  and similar forms of address.

Having lived in both northern England and the southern US in my time I find it all too easy to slip into such forms of address. Having said that I do tend to wait until there has been a fair bit of communication first, and I do check it is not going to offend. Once more attuned to a person I tend to find words that fit that person specifically rather than be generic, for example the last person I got that familiar with went from pretty, to pretty girl (alas she never became my pretty little girl). I work in an environment where we are all very close knit and even in there where there are no sexual or d/s overtones many of us use familiarities, simply because we are all close friends and within certain limits have a great deal of respect for and care about each other. It does tend to be done along gender lines, f-f, m-f, & f-m will often use "terms of endearment, whereas the somewhat macho culture that pervades means the m-m is generally a more derogatory nickname

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Profile   Post #: 113
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/29/2006 4:51:10 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Dear, lilone, cutie, hon  ect.  What is wrong with you people. As long as they are not calling you an AssHole quit bitching. Think of sticks and stones people. If you don't like what someone is calling you ask then to please stop it. Simple as that.

(in reply to sleazy)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/29/2006 5:37:32 AM   
childoftheshadow


Posts: 458
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: London UK
Status: offline 		*hangs head in shame* I use hun and sweetie ALOT, but only with people I know (for the most part). It's just the way I am and the way I speak to those I know. Having said that, I did run into a woman crying in the street a few days ago and asked "Sweetie, what's the matter?".

Most of the time, it doesn't bother me what people call me, as long as it's said with respect. The are some thing I prefer, my name being one of them. I have a friend who only ever refers to me as "beautiful", I don't think he's ever actually used my name. I do like that, it makes me feel special.

I like nickmans and pets names, I always have. I answer to most things these days.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/29/2006 5:42:26 AM   
katie7


Posts: 59
Joined: 9/16/2006
From: australia
Status: offline 		Here in Oz you get adressed  as .....doll, ...yuch dall, ... ugh   ...daahlin,... grating teeth   ....beaut,   ...lovely,... mate..... my personal favouite "not".
Im note your mate...mate.I dont even know you.
grrrr clenched jaw..
The next check out chick to say    "have a good day mate".... gets it...
My Master adresses me as little katie or babe in front of my daughter and He is the only one who is allowed to...in  scenes He  has called me His dog whore hmmmm

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RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/29/2006 7:11:12 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		I have similar pet peeves. It does make me uncomfortable when someone I don't know calls me "dear" or "honey" or the like. Yet, if I know the person and we are close I take it as a term of endearment.

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/29/2006 7:49:34 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I consider Aileen68 a Honeysuckle.

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Profile   Post #: 118
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/29/2006 8:01:00 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I consider Aileen68 a Honeysuckle.


Did you say honeysuckle, or horneysucker?

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marie.


I give good agita.









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Profile   Post #: 119
RE: "My dear" "Little one" - 11/29/2006 9:01:22 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		be nice marie

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Profile   Post #: 120
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