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RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 11:09:48 AM

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

As always, heather bringing in some common sense and a sharp tongue that I wish I had.

I try to keep it under control, honest I do.
Im really not a mean person.
I just can only sit back and watch a person do that so many times. Seeing someone just nonchalantly encourage someone to end a marriage based on a one-sentence OP, was just too much.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to Aine)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 11:12:12 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

It says on his profile that he is bisexual. Now he says she hates his fantasies. Why would she hate his fantasies so much if she knew he was bisexual when she married him? The whole thing sounds as if he married her under false pretenses.

Ya know, you are really really good at reading one detail, making gross assumptions based on that one detail, applying your assumptions to the situation and addressing every post made in response to the OP with your take on things based on your huge assumptions. And here you are recommending this person end a marriage based on your value judgements regarding sexuality.

quote:

I'd feel more sorry for the obviously straight spouse. Imagine the humiliation of finding out that one's husband had sex with another man. I hope any woman in this situation is able to obtain a private annulment or a very private divorce. Otherwise, while the woman may receive much pity, many men may not want to put their cock somewhere a gay or bisexual cock has been. Alot of straight men are very grossed out by that sort of thing.

Once again, off in your own Universe of Assumptions.

He never said the wife didnt know he was bi. And how is it that you know the wife is "obviously straight"? And we don't know that his bisexuality is the part that she is uncomfortable with, nor do we know that she didnt know he was bi when they met.

If she did know, then why is he saying she hates his needs? Why would she marry him if she knew and then hate it? That makes no sense. The op didn't specify what needs, which is why I went to his profile to find out. That's where I found the bisexual and crossdressing stuff.

Which of course you focused on! Out of a bazillion (maybe a small exageration) possibilities you ASS-U-ME that it is his bi-sexuality and potential needs in that arena that is the problem??? Just what useless superpowers exist here?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 11:15:13 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

You're still assuming.

Perhaps it has nothing to do with his -being- bisexual. Perhaps it has nothing to do with the crossdressing. Perhaps it has nothing to do with the obvious.

He never stated AT ALL what dreams and fantasies that she hates.

You know, some people can be ok with their partner being bisexual, as long as they do not act on it and seek out someone else on the side, cheating or openly. My previous and my current have absolutely no problem with me being bi. But it's also clear that we have a monogomous relationship, and I hold to that and have no interest in seeking out play with a female without his approval.

So perhaps they have the same kind of understanding.

Maybe they don't.

But I'm not going to say anything supporting one side or the other because I don't know. Neither do you.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 11:21:16 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: tinacd

Do I stay with my wife who hates my dreams and fantasies or find someone who will help me live them out with me?

I read your profile to see what kind of fantasies you referred to. Did she marry you not knowing you were bisexual? If she married you not knowing your sexual orientation, an annulment (rather than a divorce) might be the best option. Either way, if you can't control your cravings for both genders, you will only hurt her more by staying.

It's not like I didn't ask.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 11:27:16 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'd feel more sorry for the obviously straight spouse. Imagine the humiliation of finding out that one's husband had sex with another man. I hope any woman in this situation is able to obtain a private annulment or a very private divorce. Otherwise, while the woman may receive much pity, many men may not want to put their cock somewhere a gay or bisexual cock has been. Alot of straight men are very grossed out by that sort of thing.

I lost my virginity to a bi guy. None of my partners have given a damn. They just care that I'm clean. Lemme tell ya something: Most guys don't give a damn. This is the checklist:
Got boobs?
Got a vagina?
Nice ass?
Clean STD report?

Great, let's fuck!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 11:30:20 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: tinacd

Do I stay with my wife who hates my dreams and fantasies or find someone who will help me live them out with me?

I read your profile to see what kind of fantasies you referred to. Did she marry you not knowing you were bisexual? If she married you not knowing your sexual orientation, an annulment (rather than a divorce) might be the best option. Either way, if you can't control your cravings for both genders, you will only hurt her more by staying.

It's not like I didn't ask.

How about waiting for the answer insteand of launching into another ill-informed tirade about homosexuals and bisexuals?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 11:32:35 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
How about waiting for the answer insteand of launching into another ill-informed tirade about homosexuals and bisexuals?

My thoughts exactly.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 11:55:36 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'd feel more sorry for the obviously straight spouse. Imagine the humiliation of finding out that one's husband had sex with another man. I hope any woman in this situation is able to obtain a private annulment or a very private divorce. Otherwise, while the woman may receive much pity, many men may not want to put their cock somewhere a gay or bisexual cock has been. Alot of straight men are very grossed out by that sort of thing.

I lost my virginity to a bi guy. None of my partners have given a damn. They just care that I'm clean. Lemme tell ya something: Most guys don't give a damn. This is the checklist:
Got boobs?
Got a vagina?
Nice ass?
Clean STD report?

Great, let's fuck!

So true. So true. lmao

I think that my hangup would be getting fucked with a dick that had shit on it from the guy(OR)girl next to me! That is, if I were to ever get myself into that kind of a situation....

Which then makes me think back to the idea of enemas....oh now look at me...I'm rambling... *girlish blush and giggle*

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:02:08 PM

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Once again, DBG manages to hijack a thread with her, unfortunately, trademark style.

WTH?, I think we have found your one true soulmate.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Aine)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:04:21 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Heeeeeeyyyyy....*does the fake surprise with hand over mouth face*

That's a good point!

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:06:19 PM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

They probably don't where you're from. I live in Kansas, known as a "bible belt". Around here, men would pity the woman but not want anything to do with her sexually if she had slept with bi man. I know it's wrong, but that's the way many people in my area are. Hell I got raped by a straight man when I was a teenager and even that grossed out the male gender.

(in reply to Aine)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:10:25 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

They probably don't where you're from. I live in Kansas, known as a "bible belt". Around here, men would pity the woman but not want anything to do with her sexually if she had slept with bi man. I know it's wrong, but that's the way many people in my area are. Hell I got raped by a straight man when I was a teenager and even that grossed out the male gender.

If you know it's wrong why do you continue the sterotype? Get yourself educated and then start educating others. You don't have to be gay or bi to care about the issues. My college's PRIDE group has an equal number of allies and homosexuals.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:10:34 PM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I have been to Kansas, hopefully I never have to return to Kansas. I would not be overly worried about grossing out the men.......or women......in Kansas.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:12:53 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'd feel more sorry for the obviously straight spouse. Imagine the humiliation of finding out that one's husband had sex with another man. I hope any woman in this situation is able to obtain a private annulment or a very private divorce. Otherwise, while the woman may receive much pity, many men may not want to put their cock somewhere a gay or bisexual cock has been. Alot of straight men are very grossed out by that sort of thing.

I lost my virginity to a bi guy. None of my partners have given a damn. They just care that I'm clean. Lemme tell ya something: Most guys don't give a damn. This is the checklist:
Got boobs?
Got a vagina?
Nice ass?
Clean STD report?

Great, let's fuck!

So true. So true. lmao

I think that my hangup would be getting fucked with a dick that had shit on it from the guy(OR)girl next to me! That is, if I were to ever get myself into that kind of a situation....

Which then makes me think back to the idea of enemas....oh now look at me...I'm rambling... *girlish blush and giggle*

Check it for cleanlyness, put a wrapper on it and go to town! *Grins*

It really doesn't matter how many partners or of what gender the person you are sleeping with has had. It just mattered that they are clean and care about you. Or they are clean and a great lay. Whatever matters more to you. Getting obessed about previous history is pointless. You can't do a thing about it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Aine)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:15:10 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Just because they think that, does that really have any bearing on -your- opinion on it? I'm honestly curious. Do you think that?

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:24:20 PM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Just because they think that, does that really have any bearing on -your- opinion on it? I'm honestly curious. Do you think that?

Not at all. I'm straight, but have a bisexual friend. She respects my preference and I respect hers. I'm just saying that if men freak out over a non-consentual rape by a straight man, I can only imagine what they would do if they knew a woman had been with a bisexual man, whether she knew it at the time or not. I'm talking about other people's reactions and how that might effect future relationships........not my own opinions.

(in reply to Aine)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:26:33 PM

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Hell I got raped by a straight man when I was a teenager and even that grossed out the male gender.

Ben, shut up. No one wants to hear your retort to this. Really. Especially the Mods. Go home.

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:27:47 PM

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Not at all. I'm straight, but have a bisexual friend. She respects my preference and I respect hers. I'm just saying that if men freak out over a non-consentual rape by a straight man, I can only imagine what they would do if they knew a woman had been with a bisexual man, whether she knew it at the time or not. I'm talking about other people's reactions and how that might effect future relationships........not my own opinions.

Doesn't everyone have a token friend of the group they claim not to hate?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:35:22 PM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I have a friend that is a straight male Dom, I respect him and he respects my preferences. We get along just peachy keen, we even have slumber parties with pink sleeping bags and and strawberry koolaide.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 12:37:51 PM

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I have a friend that is a straight male Dom, I respect him and he respects my preferences. We get along just peachy keen, we even have slumber parties with pink sleeping bags and and strawberry koolaide.

Now I understand you better.... any male dom you meet has to drink the kool aide.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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