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RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:32:48 PM

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'd feel more sorry for the obviously straight spouse. Imagine the humiliation of finding out that one's husband had sex with another man. I hope any woman in this situation is able to obtain a private annulment or a very private divorce. Otherwise, while the woman may receive much pity, many men may not want to put their cock somewhere a gay or bisexual cock has been. Alot of straight men are very grossed out by that sort of thing.

Yes a lot of straight men are, and I have also found though a swingers site I belong to that a lot of women will swing with thier partners with bi-sexual women, but not bi-sexual men. I have a lot of the men there "come out" to me that they are bi and its always been my advice that if the wish to swing they should not be too open with that information. Personally I am a hypocrite here as I have a "thing" too about not wanting to be with a bi man, but will be with a bi women (obviously as I am bi myself). I dont know why I have this "thing" and if anyone were to ak why, I'd not be able to answer as I just dont know

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:35:40 PM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I have been to Kansas, hopefully I never have to return to Kansas. I would not be overly worried about grossing out the men.......or women......in Kansas.

Does that mean you know how judgemental people in Kansas can be? I hate it here but I'm stuck until I finish college.

Just because people are judgemental doesn't mean you should cater to their views. I took the risk of being out as a bisexual in redneck country.

Why, so the whole town can laugh at me and talk shit behind my back? I know what I said about the HIV test but that was because of statistics I learned in college. I'm just saying that if a bisexual marries someone who is straight without them knowing, if it ever gets out, both people suffer being social outcasts, not just the bisexual one.

Travel.

I beg you. Travel. Get out and get those notions out of your head. Talk to other people because, frankly, you are wrong. There is no shame in being bisexual and no shame in marrying or dating a bisexual. We don't cheat. We do this thing called "monogamony" with the same sucess as gays and straight people. Ignore the lies you have been told.

Also, yes I seriously suggest you grow up and start standing up for people. There is a saying regarding the Nazis. I can not remember it perfectly, so I shall paraphase it.

They came for the gypies but I was not a gypsy so I did not stand up.
They came for the artists but I was not an artist so I did not stand up.
They came for the Jews but I was not a Jew so I did not stand up.
By the time they came for me, there was no one left to stand up.

Tell, my dear, if you will not stand up for those who are wronged, do you really think anyone will stand up for you?

Bisexuals can be monogamous to one person? I always thought being bisexual meant needing a partner of each sex in order to meet both needs? I don't mean that as an insult. I just thought monogamy would deny a part of who they are, kinda like someone into bdsm trying to maintain a vanilla relationship.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:39:34 PM

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
If she did know, then why is he saying she hates his needs? Why would she marry him if she knew and then hate it? That makes no sense. The op didn't specify what needs, which is why I went to his profile to find out. That's where I found the bisexual and crossdressing stuff.

Because all to often women believe they can change men and so ignore important factors. One might easily ask me why I married my ex when he used to beat me before we married? And they'd be right why did I? Well apart from the obvious lack of self esteem issues etc I believe him when he said he would change and believed I could "be good" so he wouldnt hit me etc <shrug> Its equally possible this woman knew of his desires and yet chose to ignore them thinking he was just in a passing phase OR just as equally probable is the fact he didnt accept these desires in himself until years into the marriage.

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:40:01 PM

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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Speaking of ignorance...

A bisexual person is attracted, sexually, to both men and women.

But just as I see many pretty girls around, and don't run off banging them where they fall, bi people don't do that to both men and women.

JHFCTIASB.

Anyone know what that stands for?

You know where to find me.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:41:25 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

. There is no shame in being bisexual and no shame in marrying or dating a bisexual. We don't cheat. We do this thing called "monogamony" with the same sucess as gays and straight people.

Bisexuals can be monogamous to one person? I always thought being bisexual meant needing a partner of each sex in order to meet both needs? I don't mean that as an insult. I just thought monogamy would deny a part of who they are, kinda like someone into bdsm trying to maintain a vanilla relationship.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Bisexual people are monogamous and polyamorous with the same frequency as straight and homosexual people.

I am bisexual. I am also in a closed relationship. I refuse to be in an open one because I don't feel it's right for me. An ex-boyfriend, an ex-fiancee and my current dominant gave me permission, that I didn't seek, to play and have relations with women. I have yet to take advantage of it. I don't think I ever will. The thought of cheating or even being with another with permission disgusts me. I am his. I only desire his hands on me.

I still find women beautiful and sexy and I still think about them, but does a straight woman in a committed relationship not enjoy a little fantasy about Johnny Depp or another attractive man?

Being bisexual means I am attracted to more people. It means nothing about my ability to commit to a faithful relationship. If you really do have a bisexual friend, I am surprised that you believe this. After all, just because you are attracted to man A and man B doesn't mean you can't be faithful to one or the other.

Edited to attempt more clarity

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/27/2006 1:47:05 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:49:46 PM

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

I am bisexual, my Dom is also bisexual
If we decide to be mono, poly, swingers, vanilla, bdsmers or anything else it is not to do with that sexuality, that is just about preference, I am perfectly capable of remaining faithful to a partner be they male or female and I am in fact one of the very few people I know who has never cheated.
I take it as both insulting and ignorant to assume that people will shun me because of my sexuality, I dare say a few closed minded bigoted individuals will however that is their issue not mine.
I remember really loosing my temper once badly (and no I do not condone that) I was in a club and with my gay male friend, he kissed his boyfriend and a man threatened to punch him in the face, I held my tounge and let my friend fight his own battles, however I was later kissing a girl that I knew well and the same man came over, very rudely tapped us on the sholder and asked if he could watch! Suffice to say I let rip and told this man exaclty what I thought of him and his attitude.
Ok, *wanders off to sit down and stop her blood boiling*

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:50:51 PM

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Most men don't freak out because a woman has had sex with a man who had sex. You happen to live around a bunch of backward rednecks. You have my pity but seriously, get out and start socializing with more educated people. Your first response to "my partner is having fantasies about other men" is "Get out and get an HIV test". You need to face that fact that you are discriminatory against homosexuals so that you get over it.

As a swinger and belonging to a swingers site, I know a LOT of women and men who are "gun" shy about being with a bi man. Now I dont condone their opinion, even though I share it and please dont ask why, cos I dont know myself - LOL. I have been confided in my a number of the male members there that have said they are bi and they have asked me to not say anything, and based on what I know people have said to me about how they feel about bi men I agree with them and tell them they probably should keep it to themselves. I think the men are just homophobic and the women support their partners knowing how they feel.

So you've got a token bisexual friend. I had a token Roman Catholic friend. She thought I was going to hell.

She's right - LOL. But then again I'm Catholic and so am I LOL. I gave up caring after I committed the 'unforgiveable" sin.

I thought she was an idiot and dumb as a rock. We were friends because we went to a tiny high school and shared a few common interests. Tell you what, show your bisexual friend your responses to this thread and the "is he bi" thread. I really want to see her reaction.

Edited because I can't spell

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:55:09 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Most men don't freak out because a woman has had sex with a man who had sex. You happen to live around a bunch of backward rednecks. You have my pity but seriously, get out and start socializing with more educated people. Your first response to "my partner is having fantasies about other men" is "Get out and get an HIV test". You need to face that fact that you are discriminatory against homosexuals so that you get over it.

As a swinger and belonging to a swingers site, I know a LOT of women and men who are "gun" shy about being with a bi man. Now I dont condone their opinion, even though I share it and please dont ask why, cos I dont know myself - LOL. I have been confided in my a number of the male members there that have said they are bi and they have asked me to not say anything, and based on what I know people have said to me about how they feel about bi men I agree with them and tell them they probably should keep it to themselves. I think the men are just homophobic and the women support their partners knowing how they feel.

So you've got a token bisexual friend. I had a token Roman Catholic friend. She thought I was going to hell.

She's right - LOL. But then again I'm Catholic and so am I LOL. I gave up caring after I committed the 'unforgiveable" sin.

I thought she was an idiot and dumb as a rock. We were friends because we went to a tiny high school and shared a few common interests. Tell you what, show your bisexual friend your responses to this thread and the "is he bi" thread. I really want to see her reaction.

Edited because I can't spell

It's ok. I'm a bisexual who has a intense personal dislike for the practice of swinging and thinks you are more likely to go to hell for being judgemental then loving someone of the same gender.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 1:57:55 PM

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Joined: 11/14/2005
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Thanks for the info. I didn't know because I've never asked my bisexual friend about her sex life. We usually just hang out and talk about other things. I honestly thought a bisexual with only one partner wouldn't work just like a vanilla relationship doesn't work with someone that's into bdsm. I apologize if I insulted you in any way.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:00:14 PM

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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If you never talked about her sex life, how would you know she's bi?

Did she just up and tell you one day, "Hey, I'm bi!" And you said, "Okay. So how was school?"

Or did she tell you she likes wearing a feeldoe and banging chicks till they run dry?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:00:14 PM

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

I have an intense dislike for people who care more about what other people think than they do about following their own heart and own oppinions, as someone said it is like joining in on a hanging because its what everyone around you is doing, I really really hope that no-one in this place that you are decideds that jumping off bridges is the good thing to do. I have never been to Kansas and damn if this is true I never ever ever want to go.
Girl, if a little gossip is going to scald you then YOU ARE IN THE WRONG LIFESTYLE

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:01:44 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I'm going to hope that wasn't really directed at me... *Grins* I promise I'm an open, out bisexual submissive!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to amaidiamond)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:03:08 PM

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Joined: 11/14/2005
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She told me she was bi before she met me and I told her I was straight. She promised not to come on to me. The subject hasn't come up since.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:04:04 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Thanks for the info. I didn't know because I've never asked my bisexual friend about her sex life. We usually just hang out and talk about other things. I honestly thought a bisexual with only one partner wouldn't work just like a vanilla relationship doesn't work with someone that's into bdsm. I apologize if I insulted you in any way.

I'm not insulted, I'm just frustrated. You don't know how often I encounter this attitude, or the attitude of "You aren't really bi because you are dating a man". I am dating a man because we work well and I'm attracted to both genders.

Please, go educate yourself. Visit P-FLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). Check out other websites and see if your college has a PRIDE or GLBT group. You just might learn a lot.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:04:05 PM

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Bisexuals can be monogamous to one person? I always thought being bisexual meant needing a partner of each sex in order to meet both needs? I don't mean that as an insult. I just thought monogamy would deny a part of who they are, kinda like someone into bdsm trying to maintain a vanilla relationship.

No being bi-sexual does not assume that you MUST have both male and female all the time etc and therefore are going to either cheat or have to be in an open relationship.

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:06:23 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

She told me she was bi before she met me and I told her I was straight. She promised not to come on to me. The subject hasn't come up since.

One of my friends in high school found out I was bi. She ran up to me, yelling at me and accusing me of being her friend just so I could have sex with her. I was standing there thinking "What is the nicest way to tell you I think you are ugly as sin and you have nothing to worry about?"

Women should chill. Your bi friends probably don't think you as as hot as you think you are.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:07:42 PM

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

She told me she was bi

Now what would Freud say of this comment?

Anyhow, how good of a freind can she be if you don't even know who she's doing?

And how does your logic hold up that to be bi, you have to do the nasty with both men and women, but to be hetero, you can be a virgin?

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:08:08 PM

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's ok. I'm a bisexual who has a intense personal dislike for the practice of swinging and thinks you are more likely to go to hell for being judgemental then loving someone of the same gender.

?????

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:10:56 PM

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I'm going to hope that wasn't really directed at me... *Grins* I promise I'm an open, out bisexual submissive!

As am I

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Marriage or dream and fantasies - 11/27/2006 2:11:16 PM

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

She told me she was bi before she met me and I told her I was straight. She promised not to come on to me. The subject hasn't come up since.

Please Please tell me you are not being serious? Woman you are in your 30's, come on and have some common sense!

Do all your male friends promise you they are not going to come on to you? Why in hell would this female friend give you the come on just because shes bisexual, I am bi but that doesnt mean I will jump on any woman that looks at me, I and other bisexuals/gays/lesbians have as much digression and sense of appropriatness as the next straight person.

Edited for typos

< Message edited by amaidiamond -- 11/27/2006 2:12:45 PM >

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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