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Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 5:52:40 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

In our relationship my Lord owns all the toys. However, there are toys that are specificly made/bought to be used primarily on one of us. Alandra and I each have a set of floggers that were made for us. My Lord has a knife that he will only use on his slaves. Denika also has all of her own floggers and other toys that are only used on her. Then there are many other toys that are used on whoever he chooses to play with.

In your life, who has the toys? Are there certain toys that are dedicated to a specific person? In what circumstances do you think it makes sense for bottoms to have their own toys? When does it make sense for the top to own the toys?

If you are bottom how do you feel about the top using their toys on you and if you are a top how do you feel about using the bottom's toys? Are there some toys that you expect either the top or bottom to have?

Just a few questions to generate a discussion about owning toys.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

Post #: 1

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 5:56:51 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
In your life, who has the toys?

Everyone, we're co-op.

quote:

Are there certain toys that are dedicated to a specific person?

Yup, insertibles and toys with special sentimental attachments.

quote:

In what circumstances do you think it makes sense for bottoms to have their own toys?

Again, insertibles or things that will likely break skin. And having a generic all purpose set of suspension cuffs- it's nice when you finally mold them to your own body and break them in all comfy. We spend hours beating people up, while constantly checking that their ankles and wrists are ok.

quote:

When does it make sense for the top to own the toys?

Again, insertibles and anything they want to know they have at their disposal at any time.

quote:

If you are bottom how do you feel about the top using their toys on you and if you are a top how do you feel about using the bottom's toys?

The more the merrier!

quote:

Are there some toys that you expect either the top or bottom to have?

Only if they want me to do a specific scene with me out of the blue.

I like when a bottom has their own toys because it shows they are prepared, take responsibility for their own pleasure, have been around awhile and I have a ready made set of "things I know they can enjoy and like."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 2

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 6:02:36 PM

MercilessMarcy

Posts: 80
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

Love it when a bottom brings their toys. Fast easy way to see their experience level and what they are happy with.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 6:07:37 PM

sleazy

Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline

All relationships, I have left the toys behind.

I leave them behind for hygeine reasons, and simply because I regard toys as a personal thing, I wouldnt expect a future partner to use an ex's vibrator or paddle any more than I would expect them to sleep in their nightclothes.

I dont mind spending money on quality toys at all, i regard it as an ivestment in a mutual fun future. The only toys I own right now beng uninvolved with anyone are a single pair of handcuffs that are actually supposed to be for work but have been left undisturbed in a desk drawer for years as I dont actually do much field work these days.

If a new sub has no toys its no great issue, theres usually plenty available around the house or available cheaply in the hardware store while we get to know each other

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 4

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 6:08:41 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I would not want a toy used on me that had been used on another person. To me that is icky.
In my opinion, the bottom should own the toys and take care of the toys. That doesn't mean that the bottom can't accept brand new, never before used toys as gifts.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MercilessMarcy)

Post #: 5

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 6:15:15 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

My Dom owns all the toys - yet he keeps them all with me - and on top of that i'm not allowed to touch them. I'm not the one interested in using them - why would i own any. LOL

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 6

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 6:25:17 PM

MochaMistress

Posts: 275
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline

I own the toys and with the end of each relationship I leave the toys. I buy the toys based upon how the person I'm with moves me to play. I will not reuse toys on another submissive. Should he come equipped with his own toys I will use them on him as long as it doesnt pose a hygiene issue for me.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 7

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 6:26:24 PM

goodpet

Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

It does not seem we have made a statement about toy ownership. We both came into the relationship with some of our own, and we have bought some together or as gifts to each other. Since this is a M/s relationhip for us, and He has ownership/control of me and all i have, by default that makes all the toys His.

We do have a few personal toys that are not used with others, and so are not kept in the toy bag, but most of our toys are in the toy bag and fair game for play with others.

Sir is a popular Top for both private sessions and play at the club, and takes the toys with Him, i make sure they are cleaned before He goes and after He plays.

I think it is a good thing for bottoms to own some toys, things they like and they know they are cleaned. but I would not want to limit myself to just what I own. I have found new things I liked only because the Top I was playing with had something new I had not done before in their bag. Variety is the spice of life I have heard..

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 8

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 6:29:43 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I would not want a toy used on me that had been used on another person. To me that is icky.
In my opinion, the bottom should own the toys and take care of the toys. That doesn't mean that the bottom can't accept brand new, never before used toys as gifts.

Man, I so could not afford you! I have one flogger that ran over $150. I have a matched set than ran about the same price. My singletail was close to $300. I'm supposed to buy this for EVERYone? Perhaps this is a possibility if you want to discuss asset turnover! LOL

I do, however, see wanting to have your own toys where body fluids are concerned. Sex toys, especially, and knives and such. But, there ARE ways to keep sex toys clean (use condoms!) and there are ways to clean toys, too, so that they can be shared. If a slave wanted to have dedicated toys, I'd expect them to purchase them or at least signifcantly contribute to the cost and maintanence. If they did that, I'd have little qualms...but damn, I'd miss those matched floggers.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 9

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 6:42:55 PM

shadevarr

Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline

I own all the toys, just as I own my girl. Granted, the only toys I would use on anyone else are impact devices that have never broken skin.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 7:15:51 PM

Kalira

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline

Master owns and keeps all the toys with him

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 11

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 7:29:57 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

I think a vibrator is a far cry from a paddle as far as sharing goes. Certainly you don't want to share insertables, but you also don't need to go buy a new $400 signal whip every time you change partners either.

It's no secret that I have a ton of toys, and in general I prefer to play with my own floggers, paddles, whips, etc than someone elses, because I have a good feel for them, and can be more accurate with them.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 11/29/2006 7:31:10 PM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Kalira)

Post #: 12

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 7:44:42 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Many of the toys Sir and i use are purchased and put into the toy chest by both of us. Insertables are mine and of course is my job to keep all the toys clean. More expensive items we have been sharing the price on. Our play area is property that belongs to me. Them main play area is being furnished by the two of us. We both have some items that we keep separate. They are seperate only because they were put into a different bag and the bag was put in the others car. I have my own ropes and he has ropes he playes with others with. Mine never touch another. It works for us.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 13

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 8:23:59 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

We each own toys. I own all the insertables, and they stay with me. There are a couple other items I've picked up along the way, which I also keep in my toy bag. He owns the majority of the toys. I would imagine he uses them on others, and has used them on others before me. It used to make me feel a bit weird; it no longer does.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 14

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 8:39:33 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I had a few toys when Master collared me, they are all now in his posesstion...

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 15

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 8:44:01 PM

aurora31

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I have a few toys of my own but I am financially limited at this time so I rely heavily on the tops I play with to have their own toys. I agree that it is a good idea for anything that breaks the skin to be dedicated. As far as insertables go, as MasterFireMaam states there are ways to clean insertables and condoms are always a good option too.

aurora

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 16

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 11:47:50 PM

DomKen

Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

I'm kind of surprised.

I'm one of the apparently not uncommon Dom's who don't keep many toys from previous relationships. Virtually every time I've ever explained this to a sub I've gotten a surprised look as if it was unheard of.

I do have a crop and a leash that I've had for a long time as well as some assorted hardware, D rings and clips mostly. Everything else is bought/made with each new sub and is my gift to them. I just found items had too much attachment to a particular woman for me to ever be entirely comfortable using it on someone else.

(in reply to aurora31)

Post #: 17

RE: Owning Toys - 11/29/2006 11:57:08 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

All the toys I own were recently purchased. I had to get rid of my old things when I got married becasue th evanilla hubby didnt "approve".
I decided i wasnt going to buy anything new until I had someone to play with. Angel has been gifted just one thing, and thats his chastity device. Everything else is mine. We may never use all of them, since learning his limits might preclude toys right off...
Before my marriage, there were a few favorites that I would keep regardless of the relationship state, and a few things that I associated with a certain sub and got rid of after they were dismissed or left me. Like with any other relationship, certian things had emotional attachments and they were handled accordingly.
As for Angel, he doesnt own any toys. One older chastity device he had gotten himself in an attempt to impress someone and never actually opened.. but thats it. He has no objection to playing with my toys, unless he is scared to death of them.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DomKen)

Post #: 18

RE: Owning Toys - 11/30/2006 5:49:11 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I have bought all my own toys other than a couple of things I recieved as gifts
I have what I believe to be a very good assortment of things

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 19

RE: Owning Toys - 11/30/2006 5:57:15 AM

SamKeithsslave

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazy
If a new sub has no toys its no great issue, theres usually plenty available around the house or available cheaply in the hardware store while we get to know each other

So true. I have had a ball with bananas, cucumbers,sweetcorn, carrots etc
I think its always good to go shopping with a new Dom and get things HE likes and wants to use.

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to sleazy)

Post #: 20

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