I came across a profile of a Dom who lives in my area. I dropped him a line, telling him that I lived nearby and while I wasn't looking for a relationship, I am open to a new friend. The reply was short. "Where do you live and do you have a pic?" Now, I took exception to this and replied rather tersely that of course I had a pic, but that since I didn't judge my friends by *looks* criteria, I didn't feel it necessary to provide one. I thanked him for his time and doubt I'll hear from him again. This begs the question...Why would he think I would want to provide this?
I must admit, that while I don't have a photo on my profile, I like seeing what other posters look like. Hypocritcal it may seem, but it's just my preference to not have my face on a site where there is still a bunch of controversial hoo-ha about bdsm and I have a 12 year old child and an ex with a vengeful streak.
I did try to put an obscure photo up of myself on this site, showing a profile shot of myself with my head bowed down and eyes closed-- I love the photo-- and you really cant indentify me by it, if you saw me on the street, but it was rejected when I tried to have it put through. Not sure if it was too upclose or what. Anyway....I can and do share photos through private email with people I have gotten to know as friends (CMers as well as those I have met on AOL). And I'm willing to share photos with someone that I may see as a potential "partner", but, like you, for some reason, it just turns me off when they seem to need it before they decide to converse with you.
It's probably just a hang up of mine for some illogical reason, but it seems rude or shallow to me. (even tho strangers on the street see me all the time) After I talk with a 'potential partner' 2-3 times and feel there is at least reason enough to pursue an aquaintance at the least, I have no qualms whatsoever about sharing my photo, but when they ask for it, out of a chatroom, or in an email, as a contingency to conversation...they are immediately ruled out.
I will say that many men, (on CM, and other internet mediums who have photos posted themselves)have given me more than the time of day even though they had yet to see mine. This has alot of value to me. This is the type of person, that I would willingly offer it to. In some ways its like a mini-metaphor of my submission; When its not expected or demanded, I become inspired to offer it.
< Message edited by marieToo -- 11/30/2006 11:35:46 AM >
I give good agita.