Abandonment (Full Version)

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exotic -> Abandonment (11/30/2006 2:44:29 PM)

Has anyone here been faced with abandonment? How did you cope?



AquaticSub -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 2:52:49 PM)

Same way you do in a vanilla relationship. You cry, eat some ice cream, wallow in self-pity and then you pull yourself out of your hole and get over it. I suggest "They call it a break-up because it's broken". Good book.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 2:54:51 PM)

Time is your best helper.

Then there's good judgement.  If you don't have good judgement, then any choice you make will be suspect and likely not the best one.  Good judgement comes from past mistakes, educating yourself, and acting on strength, not fear.  Don't repeat your mistakes, be aware of them and change your habits and perceptions to make better choices.

Watch people, see how they act over long periods of time (months).  Trust is a series of small leaps that must be reinforced. 

http://www.collarchat.com/m_548339/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#548757
To trust or not to trust

http://www.collarchat.com/m_534521/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#534848
trust and abandonment issues

http://www.collarchat.com/m_48957/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#48957
trust betrayed by master

http://www.collarchat.com/m_96129/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#96129
will I ever trust a man again

http://www.collarchat.com/m_329482/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#329482
learning to trust again after being hurt

http://www.collarchat.com/m_346651/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#346651
how do you deal with broken trust?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_398537/mpage_1/key_trust/tm.htm#398537
trust...how to mend when it is broken




untamedshysub -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 2:55:24 PM)

yes I just got out my reba cds and my  journal and listened to reba no one dies of a broken heart is a good one and wrote in my journal about everything I was feeling and talked to my friends who swore to me I was too good for him lol and it will pass. Shopping and exercise are also good the best thing to do is stay busy improving you and allow the pain to come and go. set small goals for yourself everyday personal victories are the key. one day his name will cross your mind and you wont feel a thing.



bandit25 -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 2:56:29 PM)

Yup...it's exactly the same.



SamKeithsslave -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 3:17:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: exotic

Has anyone here been faced with abandonment? How did you cope?


My first reaction was you were asking about the practice of being tied up and left alone for an hour or so as punishment, but as everyone else is answering the other type of abandonment, I am now not sure. Could you clarify please?



exotic -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 3:27:27 PM)

Forgive me, i did not clarify.  i meant as far as being abandoned in a D/s relationship.



SamKeithsslave -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 4:41:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: exotic

Forgive me, i did not clarify.  i meant as far as being abandoned in a D/s relationship.


Np, then I'd be saying the same as when in a Vanilla relationship. You crash and burn, then rebuild and move on, sounds a lot easier than it is - of course.



babysburnin -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 4:50:12 PM)

Were you really abandoned?  (Deserted, discarded, forsaken, dumped, neglected?)

Or was it a parting of the ways that you were not ready for? 



marieToo -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 5:10:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


 Good judgement comes from past mistakes, educating yourself, and acting on strength, not fear.  Don't repeat your mistakes, be aware of them and change your habits and perceptions to make better choices. 


THIS.
 



juliaoceania -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 6:40:09 PM)

It is a hard thing to come to terms with, and when I first started posting on CM I started a thread about this issue, if you think it may help to look at it I provided the link

http://www.collarchat.com/m_392168/mpage_1/key_abandonment/tm.htm#392168



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 6:59:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: exotic

Has anyone here been faced with abandonment? How did you cope?


This is a huge issue for me. I know that time is my best friend, here. I cry, I plod through the day, sometimes I think that's too hard and take a sick day...but I try to keep doing the simple routine of living life. Things get better and people come along to ease the pain. Eventually, we can look back and really take a look at the lessons we learned from the person and the experience of having them in our lives...and having them leave. It's much like mourning a death.

Master Fire



littlesarbonn -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 11:20:09 PM)

I rely on my stuffed penguin who is always there for me. Except when he's drunk. Or partying all night with his penguin friends.

Stupid penguin.



SamKeithsslave -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 11:26:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I rely on my stuffed penguin who is always there for me. Except when he's drunk. Or partying all night with his penguin friends.

Stupid penguin.



LOL, my son often comes to me laughing and gets me to follow him to just outside his sisters bedroom door, she talks to her big pink bunny. I tell him he shouldnt eavesdrop, she believes the bunny talks back to her and gives her advice. For me it was a huge teddy bear. The beauty of telling stuffed things is, they dont blab LOL



aellea -> RE: Abandonment (11/30/2006 11:29:22 PM)

hmmm maybe i need something stuffed to talk to... errr you know what i meant



amuzingtoyou -> RE: Abandonment (12/1/2006 6:33:30 AM)

The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Eat right, excercise, do the things that make you happy. Time truly is the best healer. I would advise against getting involved in another relationship too soon. You are bound to have some trust issues. Good luck.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Abandonment (12/1/2006 6:15:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I rely on my stuffed penguin who is always there for me. Except when he's drunk. Or partying all night with his penguin friends.

Stupid penguin.



You are too cute I just want to take you home with me!!!

((wonders if Master will let her have a pet))

Magik's slave



Siona -> RE: Abandonment (12/2/2006 2:19:19 AM)

Yes, I have.
It sucked and not well.

I sat and thought and thought and thought..what the hell just happened???
No excuse...no reason...just poof! Gone.

I buried myself in my work. Not a good thing, I know. However, it worked.
I did the pity party with tears and all. Wasn't a pretty sight.
Picked myself up..dusted off the tush and moved on.

Even with all that..he still holds a special place in my heart, probably always will.
Would I take him back...ummmm...the excuse had better be a life or death situation with plenty of proof to back it up! What are the chances of that happenin..yanno?



exotic -> RE: Abandonment (12/2/2006 4:15:07 PM)

i Thank all of you for your encouraging words.



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