MstrssScarlet
Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005 From: Indianapolis, Indiana Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha If you are talking about financial domination as the "core" of what the relationship is based in (vs. asking/demanding the sub send the occassional gift or tribute), I will warn you that it something that sounds attractive but there's no such thing as a free lunch. I've done a lot of phone domination (in the past, not so much now), and the "money pig" type slaves or those that requested "financial domination" were among the WORST when it came to wanting to control the fantasy. Men who have a fetish about being used for their money or dominated financial have an erotic relationship with their cash in such a way that they MUST retain control behind the scenes, period. They also risk getting scammed and burned, so they are (and have every right to be) meticulously anal about how the relationship would proceed. It's simply not worth the effort, and is the kind of fetish that sucks every ounce of passion out of the power exchange because of that. Like any "intense fetishes", realize that the femdom, to be effective, is essentially catering to the fantasy. This does not mean you get to spend all his money and he sends great gifts. It means if you want him to buy something, it better be worth his time, and something sexy to buy (forget about getting something functional that you need). And in most cases, financial "slaves" are downright cheap -- so, yeah, you can get a pair of shoes in your size, but they are either remarkably unfunctional (ie, they cater to his fetish) or cheap knock offs. And, you WILL have to dominate him, hour for hour, more than a working pro femdom would have to in order to earn the reasonable age to by the shoes herself. Other financial slaves like the IDEA that you will control his money, yadda yadda yadda, and will drain you with hours of talk or email talking about "how this will be arranged". Meanwhile, he's jerking off to each and every line of it, or wants to talk endlessly of it, but the reality of it NEVER comes to be. He will cut you loose before money is exchanged. This is what I have observed in others; personally, I stopped talking to "financial slaves" because the fetish itself was boring as hell. The times in my pay-for-play experiences where I would exchange "domination" for gifts because the sub liked the arrangement (ie, enjoyed "gifting" or "buying nice things" for the femdom as part of his submission) were clearly more one-sided (on the sub's side) than those that were a straight, pre-agreed upon exchange of money for domination. At least in those cases you know where you stand, and don't have to deal with a sub basically trying to manipulate the femdom with the promise of goodies or gifts. Finally, the "gifting slaves" or those into financial domination are among the WORST at common sense or romantic touch; in other words, yeah, you can expect that the guy may send a nice token or gesture, but only if you spell it out for him (and it meets his financial guidelines, so forget it of it's expensive) and work for the gesture. You can kiss goodbye the warm feeling of having a man send a nice gift, based on his imagination and heart, that comes and surprises you or takes your breath away. My advice? If you want to engage in any kind of domination for fee, do it straight across the board where BOTH parties know what they are getting out of it. Otherwise, you will end up frustrated, and you suffer the poor reputation associated with "financial femdoms." And, you get lumped unfairly into the category with scam artists ("send me $20 to prove you are sincere"). And before any irritable, bitter subs jump all over me for my knowledge/experience with pay for play domination, my career has nothing to do with S&m and I am the breadwinner in my femdom relationship -- my sub doesn't even earn an income. You can't call me a golddigger. I don't need the money. Akasha AMEN to that!!! I am both a lifestyle domme and a pro domme (Yes, we do exist). Because of some personal circumstances, I need a way to earn an income where the hours are very flexible. I enjoy what I do and becoming a pro domme was not a big stretch for me. I will openly admit that when I am in the role of a pro domme, I lose some of that TPE that I have with my personal submissive. If I am fulfilling someone's fantasy and being paid to do it, I am being topped from the bottom to some extent. It may not feel that way in the dungeon (I try very hard to keep as much control as possible), but that's actually what's going to end up happening or you're going to have a very unhappy client. It helps to make sure that their interests are very similar to yours and be very open minded to experiencing and learning new things. Now then.................I have been fooling around with someone who claimed he wanted me to charge him ridiculous rates for some online and over the phone domination, supposedly coming to fruition any time now. Just as AAkasha stated, the money ends up getting held out there like a carrot. He has made suggestions from the very beginning about how he would like things to go. I have spent hours dominating him on the phone and I have yet to see one penny. I'm not going to throw a tantrum about it because it was my own fault for letting him get away with it. I realize now that I will never see any financial gain from this situation and it's best to just ignore him from now on. Live and learn. I have also offered opportunities to subs/slaves to exchange some sort of labor for playtime. Again, you will inevitably end up getting burned. A straight tribute across the board is really the only way to make the situation work. Believe it or not (and I know that a lot of you will NOT), my best, most respectful clients are the ones who abide by the pay for play rule. Mistress Scarlet edited because I still haven't got the hang of copying and pasting quotes
< Message edited by MstrssScarlet -- 12/2/2006 7:53:05 PM >
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"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit." Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City
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