RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (Full Version)

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twistedwillow -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 7:42:35 PM)

Just received a reply from him, he is obviously very pressed for time or brains or both, this latest email i couldnt understand in the slightest.  But the message i did get loud and clear is that he will be asking for money shortly, he ( apparently ) has no money, and went to the uk to talk to his uncle ( or something to that effect ) and his uncle is going to the us soon and will send him money from there .. * sigh *  family lol


and my reply

I hope that this dosnt mean a problem for you.  I await your next email with baited breath. in the mean time to keep myself happy till your next email, i will go fuck myself with my huge wang, i guess there are benefits to being an hermaphrodite,  i never get turned down for sex. But getting pregnant could be a problem.

betty



Najakcharmer -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 7:55:59 PM)

ROFL I love it.  I bet he's eating it up too.  [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]



Najakcharmer -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 8:15:38 PM)

Dumbass found some cut and paste meme on MySpace or something.  I figured I'd have some fun with it.

So I wrote back:

Oh, that's why you don't know about the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer.  Computer engineers don't usually use Dilldoe Jackhammers.  At least when they do they don't like to talk about it so much.

Those are so many questions you are asking me, and you still have not sent a picture of yourself and I still have not heard your voice!  I must ask again if you want there to be trust between us.  I cannot love a man whose face I have not seen and whose voice I have not heard.  If you cannot send me a picture and let me hear your voice then I will know that I must look elsewhere for obscurely perverse entertainment.

I will pick some of your questions to answer.   I also want you to answer the same questions for me.

My favorite food:  Ebonics
My favorite sexual position: With the man on all fours and in tight leather bondage
My favorite sex act: Giving enemas (I know you will let me give you at least six enemas every day because it excites me for sex)
The most romantic thing a man has ever done for me:  Worn women's underwear while smoking a cigar in bed.

I am waiting for your picture and phone call.  If you want to be my true lover, I need to see your face and hear your voice.

Love,

Imma Dilldoe



ModeratorEleven -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 8:36:18 PM)

If you want this thread to survive, please stop pasting received emails into your posts.  You can post snippets of them, but not the whole thing.

XI



Najakcharmer -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 8:44:56 PM)

Oops, sorry.  I pasted in the wrong window.  The full text was only supposed to go to the scambaiter forums at http://www.four1nine.com



ShreveportMaster -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 9:11:14 PM)

 lol, nah, let him wear burning ebonic cigars while smoking womens underwear [sm=crop.gif]
This chap reminds Me of that apocrhyphal anecdote about the moron that died while eating Mountain Oysters...he was drug to death by the bull.
Have fun dear, but don't eat to many ebonics, unless it's yo berfday.



Najakcharmer -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 9:12:38 PM)

Patrick says he wants sweet enema love seven times a day, not six.  Cool beans.  I can hang with that.  But he wants me to call him, which I won't do - he's gotta call me and sing the Dilldoe song on my voicemail. 

So I sez:

I am an old fashioned Ru Paul country girl and I don't think a woman like me should call a man first. I want you to call me and sing that sad song I wrote about my family.  That would be a great way to hear your voice.  Here is the song I  want you to sing to me:

Dick Dilldoe, I love Dick Dilldoe
Dick Dilldoe, how I love big Dick.
Dick Dilldoe is so big, he could touch my heart
Dick Dilldoe, we will never part.

My phone number is 001-XXX-XXX-XXXX  I think you might need the 001 to call into America from West Africa.

I got only the picture of your lovely family, thank you.  If you look like your dad then you are the true trailer park prince of my dreams.  I am really looking forward to seeing your picture.  I want a picture of you and only you, holding a paper with my name on it.

If you can do these things for me, my sexy little enema love monkey, then I will know I can trust you.  I will do anything for you if you can do these things for me, because then I will believe that we really are in love.

- Imma Dilldoe



ShreveportMaster -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 9:16:01 PM)

but if you flush that much crap out he'll vanish!...Oh, duh [sm=ofcourse.gif] that's the point!



twistedwillow -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 9:23:19 PM)

I think he is getting his 'true loves' mixed up,  first i got a message asking me if i wanted surgery to which i  replied :

No i dont want surgery, i like me as i am, and this way im a very versatile wife, you get to fuck me, i get to fuck you, its all good fun n games.

betty

then he answered back with something about having financial trouble which is why he wants me there... to which i replied:

ok, tell me my love what is your problem and how can i help ?


howzat for sweet n simple, he will think im truly suckered.

but i still think he is getting himself mixed up.

twistedwillow

edited to add,  is it sad that im sitting here hanging out for his replies? [:D][:D][:D]



twistedwillow -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 9:29:34 PM)

ok, just got a message again about his mum and his asking how i can help him to help her, here were my loving suggestions, i do so hope they are helpful to him :

Well i dont know how i can help,  maybe i can give you some suggestions, would that be useful?  do you have help organisations where you are? if you go there and beg for the medicine for your mother, maybe they would give it to you, or maybe you could become a bitchboy and sell your virgin arse to the highest bidder,  or perhaps you could sell miscellanious body parts  like  fingers,  or kidneys, or even your eyes, i know it would be hard to see with no eyes, but this is your mother we are talking about she deserves the best you can provide, and i know that you as a good and loving son will do all you can to help her.

i hope i have been able to help you my beloved

betty



Najakcharmer -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/6/2006 10:15:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedwillow

ok, just got a message again about his mum and his asking how i can help him to help her, here were my loving suggestions, i do so hope they are helpful to him :


I salute your evil genius, from my current rolling on the floor and laughing my ass off position.  Good show! [:D][:D][:D][:D]



twistedwillow -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 5:12:19 AM)

just got another reply, and he is getting a bit narky with me, told me he couldnt do my suggestions because he didnt know the people, and that he would never play because its his mum, and if i can help, to tell him how i can help, and perhaps its me who dosnt love him


*sigh* the path of true love never runs smooth.
lol

twistedwillow



amaidiamond -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 5:53:52 AM)

ROFLMAO - Oh what a fantastic read, especially when home sick today  - that cheered me up immensly thank you!



ShreveportMaster -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 6:59:06 AM)

oh hang around diamond, it'll get even better



drawntothedark -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 8:44:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

So not fair! I want my own Nigerian monkey boy to play with.


Play with this one.  Let's keep the lad busy.  Email me on the side for his info.

Also try http://www.419eater.com and http://www.four1nine.com for endless resources including more lads to play with.

Please note that it is against the general ethics of the scammer-baiting community to be racist in any way. I am not calling this lad a monkey because he is from Nigeria.  Most Africans are not stupid scammers who spend their lives in Internet cafes trying to sucker wealthy, lonely women and horny men into lameass romance scams. But this one is. So we're making a monkey out of him. 



I'm in your inbox :)

Agreed monkey is not a racial word here. I think I'm going to be a heiress to a toy maunufactor. All kinds of wicked little names could come up.



LotusSong -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 9:36:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

I found a quite lovely photo of a pretty young lady in a green sundress which I believe I will be sending to my eager suitor so he can see the woman he wants to marry.  Watch him tell me how beautiful I am in upcoming correspondence.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c71/stepanF/misc/babe.jpg


You are SOOOOOOO bad!!! LOL!



xBullx -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 10:24:17 AM)

Tal Najakcharmer,

Girl you are simply priceless. I have tears in my eyes from laughin here. I liked all three ideas in the poll, get him to do them all.

Live well, I wish you all a Nigerian of your own,

Bull



Najakcharmer -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 10:40:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark
I'm in your inbox :)


Actually you're not.  Missed connection here?



LadyEllen -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 10:41:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark
I'm in your inbox :)


Actually you're not.  Missed connection here?



I've had that problem this week, so might be.

E



Najakcharmer -> RE: Oh funny....I got a Nigerian romance scammer (12/7/2006 10:42:10 AM)

Scammer writes me some crap like "if u love me u will why not send moneys to help mother?"

Time to up the ante and dangle a dollar amount in front of him.  Let's see if it gets me results.


How can I know if I love you if I don't even see your face or hear your voice?  There must be trust between us first.

I really want a nice enema loving cross dressing husband just like you who will wear sexy pantyhose to bed for me, but I need to know first that you are real and sincere.  If I can be convinced that you are real and there is trust between us, then money is no object.  I have quite a lot of money and it would be great to find an enema loving husband to share it with.  Would US $5,000 be enough for the hospital bill to start with?

If we get married, would you change your last name to Dilldoe to honor my father and his great invention?  I think your last name should definitely be Dilldoe.

Before I can trust and believe in you enough to send you money and take you as my future husband, I must see your face and hear your voice.  Please take a picture of yourself holding a paper with my name on it.  I also need to hear your voice.  If you can sing the Dick Dilldoe song to me on the phone, then I will know that you honor my family and respect me, even though I am a Ru Paul country girl who gets far too much enjoyment from leather, rope and enemas.  Call me please.  I just want to hear your voice singing that beautiful music so I know I can trust you.

- Imma Dilldoe



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