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Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 7:52:15 AM

LotusSong

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http://www.steel-door.com/tops_disease.htm

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 7:58:10 AM

cjenny

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A very interesting piece.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 8:05:28 AM

Aileen68

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This is just another example of "think like I do or you're wrong."
Power dynamics are unique to the two people involved.
Some might actually like all that is described by that little article and see nothing wrong with "corruption"

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 8:21:29 AM

toservez

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I have heard top disease many times and many people have different definition or terms for when Dominants cross over to a level of extreme arrogance. For some it is dangerous and long term. For most I have seen come down with this disease though it is a momentary situation or ingrained views for various reasons usually coming from self esteem issues and not from a power corrupting type angle.

I agree with Aileen though it comes down too often to I am great but want others to be or try to be like me to validate my greatness and/or if this does not happen tear down all poeple who are different from me . People to often want some set of artificial rules, merit badges or guidebooks to validate their life instead of just living it.

Lin

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 8:54:03 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I agree with Aileen though it comes down too often to I am great but want others to be or try to be like me to validate my greatness and/or if this does not happen tear down all poeple who are different from me . People to often want some set of artificial rules, merit badges or guidebooks to validate their life instead of just living it.

Lin

I don't think thery want people to be like them.. because no one IS better than they are.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 9:01:27 AM

toservez

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I agree with Aileen though it comes down too often to I am great but want others to be or try to be like me to validate my greatness and/or if this does not happen tear down all poeple who are different from me . People to often want some set of artificial rules, merit badges or guidebooks to validate their life instead of just living it.

Lin

I don't think thery want people to be like them.. because no one IS better than they are.

But is that not what we screwed up humans are all about. We like to feel special and better then people, mostly subsconsciously, but at the very same time search out for people who are very similar to us as a comfort and for the self esteemed challenge tear down one’s who are not similar.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 9:24:21 AM

Petruchio

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Hmm… I was born with an inoculator.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 9:31:07 AM

Kalira

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

This is just another example of "think like I do or you're wrong."
Power dynamics are unique to the two people involved.
Some might actually like all that is described by that little article and see nothing wrong with "corruption"

I second this.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 9:34:11 AM

LordODiscipline

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quote:

Many new or emergent Dominants are told that certain attitudes of disrespect are expected of them by the submissives wishing to serve them. Believing in this counsel and adopting these attitudes can set the Dominant up for Tops Disease.

Freaking submissives are the one's who create this issue!!

But, seriously -

I have found Mst. Steele's writings interesting, but exceptionally simplistic in nature relative to specifics...

For instance - this may be an issue with anyone who is responsible for anothers (managers another) - not, just 'dominants' - and, yet it is being attributed to dominants and as an issue created by submissives?

Interesting leap.

I would imagine that my employees are encouraging me to treat them like low life's as well.

quote:

Some Dominants address Tops Disease, when they see the warning signs within themselves, by voluntarily withdrawing from the role of Dominant for a period of time.

As though one might "stop" being themselves or interacting in a relationship for a time because they realize that they were a**holes...

A shortsighted solution if it is sincerely done by anyone.

Anyhow... she is prolific in her writing.

~J

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 10:44:05 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_318504/mpage_1/key_tops%252Cdisease/tm.htm#318583
tops disease

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 12:58:41 PM

Archer

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I concure with the idea that Steel Door as well as Castle Realm have a huge ammount of writting that is overly simplistic.
However lets look at context. Those sites have been around 10+ years as have many of the writtings within them.
The fact is they do reflect the prevalent opinions of their time. (note prevalent not only)
But they were for a long time one of the few sites where anyone at all took a rational look at what we do and how we can do it safely. Those writtings were around before many if not most of the collarme subscribers knew there was a term for what we do.

I don't send folks to those sites anymore haven't in at least 5 years reccomended them to anyone.
But taken in context they were some of the best available web papers of their time.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 1:37:40 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

I concure with the idea that Steel Door as well as Castle Realm have a huge ammount of writting that is overly simplistic.
However lets look at context. Those sites have been around 10+ years as have many of the writtings within them.
The fact is they do reflect the prevalent opinions of their time. (note prevalent not only)
But they were for a long time one of the few sites where anyone at all took a rational look at what we do and how we can do it safely. Those writtings were around before many if not most of the collarme subscribers knew there was a term for what we do.

I don't send folks to those sites anymore haven't in at least 5 years reccomended them to anyone.
But taken in context they were some of the best available web papers of their time.

Archer,

Do you feel they no longer hold truth or usefulness in them or has the D/s world gotten so ill defined?

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 12/8/2006 1:38:32 PM >

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 2:20:11 PM

Archer

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It's not that I think they have no relavence anymore. It's more that there are better written and more timely things available now that back then were not around. It's more that on the whole the online community whenthose writtings were first collected were mostly only ready for something on that level. Today the people comming in have different needs than what we had 10 years ago. We were starved for anything at all, today it's almost the opposite there is so much written that deciding what is good and what is not takes some effort.

The plethora of books now available tend to get more recomendations from me than websites anymore.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 2:21:50 PM

Archer

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Now as a personal rather than objective observation I find both those sites far to touchie feelie hearts and flowers for my own tatses.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 2:26:39 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Now as a personal rather than objective observation I find both those sites far to touchie feelie hearts and flowers for my own tatses.

I felt that about Castle Realm. Mistress Steel keeps to the topic in, what I felt, was an objective manner

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 2:38:41 PM

cjenny

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

It's not that I think they have no relavence anymore. It's more that there are better written and more timely things available now that back then were not around. It's more that on the whole the online community whenthose writtings were first collected were mostly only ready for something on that level. Today the people comming in have different needs than what we had 10 years ago. We were starved for anything at all, today it's almost the opposite there is so much written that deciding what is good and what is not takes some effort.

The plethora of books now available tend to get more recomendations from me than websites anymore.

Agreed. I too remember when there were few 'factual & learning' sites on BDSM and CastleRealm was considered the definitive source of knowledge. I've not been there for years, this post prompted a quick look through and all I can say is 'ick' lol.
So where do you direct people that want to dip their toes in? Just learn some of the basic tenets and practices? I often have people ask and while I usually recommend books, they too fall into the older catagory like CastleRealm.

thanks,
jenny

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 2:46:18 PM

Lordandmaster

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Yeah, I'm normal, and everyone who's not like me is diseased.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

This is just another example of "think like I do or you're wrong."
Power dynamics are unique to the two people involved.
Some might actually like all that is described by that little article and see nothing wrong with "corruption"

I second this.

(in reply to Kalira)

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 2:53:57 PM

Archer

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Well thing is the best writtings I have seen online are kinda spread out. So it depends on the subject they are asking about, what are they dipping their toe into.
No matter who it is writting I'm bound to find a problem with some area they believe, it's natural. Unfortunately for them The newbie how asks me ends up with not one site to visit but several names and subjects they have written on where I like what they have to say.

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/8/2006 8:22:01 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Humm..as one wise Dominant has told me ,reading is essential in WIITWD..however read with the knowledge that it is one persons opinion...and take what you wish from it and make it your own, but never take it all as pure gospel...Tempting....

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RE: Top's Disease - 12/9/2006 6:48:25 AM

VeryMercurial