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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/18/2006 10:40:29 AM   
onestandingstill


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mstr2you

quote:

ORIGINAL: jimbo747

Idont think this dude lacks interpersonal skills AT ALL.  He is just calling it EXACTLY LIKE IT IS and it isnt his fault people cant handle it.  SOme people responded like snobs and thats why he in some replys came back to them as rude.    Why is it okay for some to reply in the fashion they did - which was rude (ish)- but it's not okay for him to dish it back to them?



Jimbo thank you for your support, I don't need it but what the hell I will take it. Clearly you are a man of great intellect and comprehension but I am sure you know that without me telling you.

There is always a core group of regular posters on a given message board who feel that it is their board and anyone with ideas that differ from their cores ideals are seen as a threat and are to be attacked and eliminated as if one could eliminate thoughts and ideas. It is an illusion of power but neverless they cling to that illusion and pat themselves on the back with each self serving snotty post that they make in response to anyone different from them sure in the conviction that they are on the side of God and only the devil could disagree with their point of view so the devil it must be.

They always get personal in their attacks and feel justified because in their minds it is they that have been attacked and they who must take a stand and defend. If personal attacks don't work or if the "evil one" dosn't run home crying than they go running to the moderator complaining that the poster is has violated board policy.  ( I want to take this opportunity to thank those of you who have been reporting my every word to the moderators, I enjoy getting their emails in the morning really its been fun no I mean it .)

It is too funny that core posters here are rewarded with paddles and lauded as being corrupted and twisted all the way up to deranged as if posting ones life away on a kink fetish board is not reward enough for anyone. ( I have got to exclude the lucky water bird cause I think shes hot and I can't figure out how she does the links thing)

They post when they sneeze and they post when the giggle and they post when their dog farts and they post to each other and they post to themselves and they post and they post and they post.

And they post

And so it goes




Rolls her eyes, comes out of a submissive position as Mstr2you obviously couldn't earn my submission with all the money in the world and says Blow it out your ass Mstr2you.
Seems you post, criticize and whine with the best of us so get off that damn high horse before your nose starts bleeding and come back to reality would ya.
GIVE BE A BREAK
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

< Message edited by onestandingstill -- 12/18/2006 10:42:30 AM >

(in reply to Mstr2you)
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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/18/2006 4:53:16 PM   
Mstr2you


Posts: 45
Joined: 11/12/2006
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quote:

Blow it out your ass Mstr2you.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


Thank you for rising out of the ashes to prove my point once again. I really only have one comment, actually it's a question.


quote:

Rolls her eyes, comes out of a submissive position


How exactly do you do that and type at the same time?  Now I am going to take a few wild guesses here, please let me know if I am close.
 
Keyboard attached to your body?
Typing with your teeth?
Is there a link between the eye rolling and the typing?  Don't answer that I want to get this on my own.
You have 3 hands? no forget that one it's to obvious.
Shit this is tough!





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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/18/2006 5:11:37 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

Thank you for rising out of the ashes to prove my point once again. I really only have one comment, actually it's a question.


What exactly is your point?  From what I have read in this thread your point has been lost in your inability to communicate in constructive or effective manner.  It seems you have more of a preference to respond and initiate posts of drama than to do anything in a manner that will promote an exchange of thoughts or opinions in a respectful manner.

Sadly many a good discussion is lost because of a desire for drama is the prime motivation for some... this thread is a good example of this.



_____________________________

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/18/2006 5:16:08 PM   
bbwcraves


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i have never considered my submissive nature as *a gift* to be given away.  i have always been this way and as such how can i give away something that is such an innate part of me?  i am a servant, a slave, a submissive, in my view it is mutual on both parts.  Through that we get to express Oourselves and be who Wwe are.

i am coming in at the tail end of this so...lol.  Have a good one.

(in reply to Mstr2you)
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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/18/2006 5:24:37 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

Thank you for rising out of the ashes to prove my point once again. I really only have one comment, actually it's a question.


What exactly is your point?  From what I have read in this thread your point has been lost in your inability to communicate in constructive or effective manner.  It seems you have more of a preference to respond and initiate posts of drama than to do anything in a manner that will promote an exchange of thoughts or opinions in a respectful manner.

Sadly many a good discussion is lost because of a desire for drama is the prime motivation for some... this thread is a good example of this.




Fortunately, Noah has taken the "good discussion" part of this to another thread. Of course I have my doubts that this man would dare involve himself in the sharing of ideas which constitutes a good discussion.


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Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/18/2006 5:30:58 PM   
Mstr2you


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

Thank you for rising out of the ashes to prove my point once again. I really only have one comment, actually it's a question.


What exactly is your point?  From what I have read in this thread your point has been lost in your inability to communicate in constructive or effective manner.  It seems you have more of a preference to respond and initiate posts of drama than to do anything in a manner that will promote an exchange of thoughts or opinions in a respectful manner.

Sadly many a good discussion is lost because of a desire for drama is the prime motivation for some... this thread is a good example of this.




Do you guys always come in pairs?

Anyway I am sad that you are sad oh knights of mists but I am sure we will both get over it.

My POINT is that she and now you are bringing up something from 4 days ago in an attempt to re-ignite the flames that had died out in  her absence and in some twisted and bizarre logic  imply that that is my fault for not communicating in a way that satisfies you.

Feel free to continue this whining and keep protesting at the same time that no one is talking about the topic at hand. it is fun to watch.

Is that constructive or effective enough for you?



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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/18/2006 7:05:34 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
Fortunately, Noah has taken the "good discussion" part of this to another thread. Of course I have my doubts that this man would dare involve himself in the sharing of ideas which constitutes a good discussion.



Nods.. Noah is indeed an articulate and effective in communicating his thoughts and opinions without the need of creating drama to express his thoughts.  He of course is not alone in this, as there are many that have and do post here that are capable of the same thing.  But, unfortunately, there are a small few that make it their lot to post to create drama.  I suppose there is alot of reasons that they choose this, but they always show themselves to be lacking in the end.  Regardless if the OP choose to engage in the Thread that Noah started or not... I will be surprized if the OP is able to contribute without the result of drama.... simply because he is showing himself to be lacking to do otherwise.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/20/2006 7:00:53 AM   
Mstr2you


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quote:

But, unfortunately, there are a small few that make it their lot to post to create drama. I suppose there is alot of reasons that they choose this, but they always show themselves to be lacking in the end. Regardless if the OP choose to engage in the Thread that Noah started or not... I will be surprized if the OP is able to contribute without the result of drama.... simply because he is showing himself to be lacking to do otherwise.



Thank you for your thoughts, now please drag your passive aggressive sir lancelot rescue me fantasy act on over to the make nice thread and leave us nasty folks alone.





< Message edited by Mstr2you -- 12/20/2006 7:40:20 AM >


_____________________________

" I want to live where soul meets body"

Death Cab For Cutie

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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/20/2006 7:55:59 AM   
Jayxkes


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There seems very little point in trying to discuss the content of the OP.
However this is a remarkably similar 'idea' to what is happening on another board,  that is take a subject, make a 'definitive' comment on it and provoke an argument.

What was said in the original post could have provoked an interesting debate, had it been phrased in a normal way.

Unfortunately as it stands, the OP does come across as 'this is the way it is,  the only way it can be'. 

The sad thing is,  when I was very new to all this,  I had thoughts that I knew how it should be!  I am eternally grateful that I chose to discuss and learn,  rather than set myself up on a pedastal with a note saying 'please knock me down'.

To address the 'subject' of the OP,  to some people submission is a gift,  to others it is not.  Neither is right or wrong.  No amount of debate, argument or ranting will change that.  We just have to live with it.
You, nor I, nor anyone else has the right to try and dictate what it is or how it should be.

You will hear that submission is a gift many more times,  simply because to some people it is just that.  If it is goingto wind you up as much as it appears to have done,  you are heading for some real stress!

If you are interested in having an idea debated,  why not simply start a post that attracts debate rather than one which irritates?

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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/20/2006 4:22:04 PM   
Mstr2you


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jayxkes
To address the 'subject' of the OP,  to some people submission is a gift,  to others it is not.  Neither is right or wrong.  No amount of debate, argument or ranting will change that.  We just have to live with it.
You, nor I, nor anyone else has the right to try and dictate what it is or how it should be

I have no illusion that there is a derth of  people with oposite opinions of my own and it may suprise you to know that I am very comfortable with that condition. I would grow very tired of only being exposed to those that agree with me, it would be like living ones life staring only into a mirror of ones own reflection and what could be more boring and stagnating that that? But, if you are proposing that we take away debate, arguement and ranting I am not sure why we are here. To learn you say? Well in my world you learn from debate and  arguement and yes even rants. To amuse you say? Well what could be more amusing than the idea that one cannot have a conviction and defend that conviction.

I read all the posts supporting the idea that submission is a gift. I read all the posts proposing that it is not. I enjoyed them all. I ignored all the posts saying that it is what we individually decide it to be because that is a given and to me an obvious fact, so why waste time on it. I suppose we can  make every single post to be one of both our view of the world and all the  viewpoints different from our own acompanied by the mantra that no one opinion is right or wrong so as to stipulate that there is more than one way to look at all things, as if any intelligent adult dosn't already know this to be true.

And, we can have a chorus of sycophats echo our view with posts of agreement and than we can thank them for agreeing and hold hands and hum we are the world and those few remaining pesky detractors can spend the first half of their every posting exclaiming that it is only their opinion and they don't want to offend anyone and please forgive them for even existing at this moment in time but they just wanted to say.................If that is what you want than I am sure you will find it here, in fact I know you will find it here, just not here here.

I am not telling anyone here how to feel or how to live. In fact reading through the threads I find there is an incredible amount of holier than thou judgement coming from people living on the perephery of societies mores and I find myself way over to the side of live and let live. If everyone involved is adult, of sound mind and  consensual I don't give a shit what you do. I may have an opinion or even a conviction which I may chose to voice but I will not try to stop you nor would I even consider doing that ( I am going to stay out of the beastiality thing cause I really can't be sure if Rover wants his knob shined by clarissa the slave but than again he might I mean who would'nt but I am inclined to say leave him the fuck alone unless he brings up the subject himself).

I have not proposed drowning all submissives and slaves who believe that submission is a gift nor that we sacrifice their first born to put an end to this practice. No, I have suggested that in my opinion they are wrong  and that in my opinion it is a self delusional possibly dangerous fantasy and nothing more. That is what I think and that is how I feel.


If you are interested in having an idea debated,  why not simply start a post that attracts debate rather than one which irritates?


Those seeking a life free of irritation should climb back into the womb cause I am here to tell you that that there is no way to avoid it and I would suggest you embrace it with open arms as that which will and must be and from it, if you are lucky, growth may come.

Or you could just get more irritated, makes no difference to me

Thank you for your thoughts.



_____________________________

" I want to live where soul meets body"

Death Cab For Cutie

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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/20/2006 4:30:10 PM   
Zensee


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Somebody needs a nap.

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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/21/2006 9:28:18 PM   
Mstr2you


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8 minutes and 6 seconds after I post comes

quote]ORIGINAL: Zensee
Somebody needs a nap.



If you aren't saying that with a lisp and a noodle armed wave than I just don't know my obsessed readers and that's all there is to it. 

Thanks for reading!





_____________________________

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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/22/2006 6:56:14 AM   
jimbo747


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quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

quote:

ORIGINAL: jimbo747

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I'd say he's definately rude, crude and lacking general social skills.
I'd guess it's a case of birds of a feather flock together.
.
suzanne


you dont know me well enough to call me rude crude and lack social skills. do you always judge and size someone up so quickly.  how does it feel to know everything?

his post was sarcastic and its unfortuanate you took it so personal.  lighten up.  irregardless HIS MADE A VALID POINT.  ligten up

Hi Jimbo 
Where in the caputred sentance did I say you were rude or anything resembeling that??????
quote:

  I'd say he's definately rude, crude and lacking general social skills.
Maybe being we all are different to some who are more aligned with his way of thinking it may not seem rude or insulting, but to a lot of the posters in this thread it is. 

I said maybe to people aligned with his way of thinking what HE said may not seem rude.


A little defensive there jimbo.



:applause: go on and pat yourself on the back with your revelation.  :yawn: 

To answer YOUR question, no Im not defensive, hardly, I'm just calling it like I see it.  As if you wouldnt do the same thing if you felt someone was making an innacurate statement about you.  Please, you would speak up to.

Now will you please change your outfit; you look like a misfit in that getup.  A red lace teddy or chimse doesnt go well with a black neck collar.  And grow your mullet out - you look stuck in the 80's.  Thank you.


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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/29/2006 1:11:57 AM   
velvetpetal


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where did You go? send me an email if You get this..please

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(in reply to Mstr2you)
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RE: It Ain't A Gift - 12/29/2006 4:58:15 AM   
dawntreader


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Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

quote:

Fuck you and your gift.


an "educated unattached dominant male" such as yourself might do better to show some decorum, patience and tolerance for the rare and precious women of this world that defy the cultural standard and actually dream of serving a man as his maid and his whore...
 
and if you think about it....a man that has a submissive woman, is such a happy man, i doubt he really cares all to awfully much what she calls her 'calling'.

 

 



i like this! ^_^

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RE: It Ain't A Gift - 12/29/2006 9:14:03 AM   
MaamJay


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Fuck! I finally got to the end of this thread! When I started reading it about 2 hours ago there were only 6 pages LOL!

Firstly, I am disappointed no one took up Knightof mists concept of "gift" as a notable capacity or talent ... everyone got bogged down with the "gift as a present" concept. That merited more thought and discussion.

Secondly, yes it's semantics, and we know we'll never get everyone to agree on those, so why maintain that aim as the focus of the argument?

Thirdly, I do disagree with those that state categorically that it can only be about WHO or WHAT a person IS ... that they can ONLY be submissive. Well, I am living and breathing contra to that, I AM both Dominant and submissive ... I am different in response to different people. In the same breath I can command a sub and then say "Yes Master". I have no problem with that ... perhaps it is a "gift" to be so multitasking LOL! Yes I know there are some who will say I can't possibly be a "true sub" if I am also Dominant, well, at the moment my sub side is living 24/7 with Master as His slave and He has no major complaints about my level of submission to Him. (The minor ones are because i am not yet made perfect in His ways! Will i ever be? Who knows!). But I (and Master) believe with a compatible male slave or sub, I could quite happily live 24/7 co-existing in both roles.

Fourthly, as another poster said wayyyyy back, the concept of "the gift" as in something given, is an ANALOGY rather than a literal use of the language. None of us can wrap our submission up with a nice bow and post it to someone else! When I have used it in the past, it has largely been in the context of responding to newbie subbies who are in that frenzy of wanting to submit to all and sundry! Alternatively, I have used it with the "please Maam, break me, take me by force" types of subbies too. What I am saying is essentially slow down! Choose the right One for you, find the one who INSPIRES your submission, don't flaunt it all round town as the gift so freely given is cheapened in the process. Or I am saying no, I am not going to try to take your submission by force, because (a) it doesn't work and (b) that's not who I am and (c) I want you to obey Me out of a loving trust and respect not out of some fear of My forcing you. In those contexts, using the notion of a gift can work as it is something that is readily accessible and understood by most people.

Finally, the OP says he wants to stimulate debate and discussion ... but I thought the whole point of that was to listen to someone else's opinions with an open mind, perhaps with a view to changing your own if someone comes up with a compelling argument. But it seems that is NOT the mindset of the OP, judging from this statement:

"No, I have suggested that in my opinion they are wrong  and that in my opinion it is a self delusional possibly dangerous fantasy and nothing more. That is what I think and that is how I feel. "

It is clear to me that the OP thinks and feels that and will never change, no matter how compelling anyone else's ideas might be. So what was the point of starting this whole thing?

Maam Jay aka violet[A]


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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/29/2006 9:36:45 AM   
TPEOwner


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mstr2you

How many times do I have to read these words " submission is a gift". Fuck you and your gift. If submission is a gift it is a gift to yourself and while selfless gifts to ones self are always appreciated and one always knows just what one needs, saying that ones submission is a gift to the dominant is an expression of the submissives ego, not at all an altruistic expression of giving which is what they would like it to mean.

Your submission,  assuming this is real to you and not a frivoulous experiment in your sexual growth which is fine by me , is not a choice at all because it is what is inside you, it is part of you, it is a need you have. That being the case  it is not a gift,  it is a reaching out to your partner for a mutual satisfaction of your needs which in my opinion is exactly what this is about. In the most extreme form the sadist gets his or hers and the masochist does the same, no gifts are exchanged, just mutual needs met and I think that carries out through most bdsm relationships from the most sado maso to the most casual scening.

Here is why this bother me. If what being offered was a true gift,  as in ..here take this gift from me to you and do with it what you will , than there are no boundries, no limits, no choices because a gift that comes with conditions is surely not a gift at all and a gift that comes without any conditions can be used, ignored, or tossed in the trash at the receivers whim.

I suppose that in the insane situation  where a submissive were to give his or her self with absolutely no conditions or limits at all to a dominant than one could argue it's a gift but I would still say that they are doing it out of their own need and it is still a gift to themselves .

Just my thoughts and yours are most welcome.


This whole submission is a gift thing is just another manifestation of the internet.  Our lifestyle has become a haven for emotionally broken people who are either looking for someone to fix them, or have realized that putting dominant or submissive in front of their name instead of co-dependendent, bi-polar, depressed or obsessive, they can attract other people and make excuses for their otherwise unacceptable behavior paterns.

The one thing that all those submission is a gift advocates have in common is that none of them under any circumstances ever intends to submit to or dominate anyone. When a "submissive" comes with a 3 volume set of limits, what they are essentilly saying is that they will allow you to "make" them do anything they want to do anyway, and if you even dare to suggest making them do something they don't want to do, they will be flinging the abuse thing around to anyone and everyone who will listen.  And on the "dominant" side, they are willing to put up with that sort of thing because it's the best they can get.

The typical het dominant male sub female couple I see thes days, consists of a submissive male top and a dominant female bottom.  They pretend to the world and even themselves that he is in control, but she runs the relationship completely, and he hops to to "dominante" her exactly as she requires.  And if they make each other happy, more power to them.  The world needs more happy people.

So back to "submission is a gift".  What the words really mean is "I'm doing you a favor by giving you the time of day buster, and you had best not forget it or I will find another 'master'."  So I agree with you.  Take your gift and find a dom who needs someone to do him a favor by submitting to him.  I'm not the droid you are looking for.  It's an absolute deal breaker for me.  As soon as I see or hear those words, I'm not interested.  End of story.

(in reply to Mstr2you)
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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/29/2006 9:47:37 AM   
aliljaded1


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I think he's in the well w/ Timmy .Ill send Lassie out for them both.
Gift Smift. Relationships are like snowflakes.

*Thinking of a good gift*

Giving head....... now thats a Gift!  

*throws 2 cents into the fire and grabs a mushed-mellow*

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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/29/2006 9:55:04 AM   
blindwithscience


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Since there are several pages of this, what I'm wanting to say has probably been echoed in spades, but as it is, I feel it needs to be said.

What is meant when one says that submission is a gift is that it is not a right to specific individual. Submission is given when trust is established. Yes, while submissive natures are something integral to many people's sexuality, it does not mean that just because you go on date with them, that you have the right to walk all over them. A submissive gives him or herself in the understanding that the dominant will be mature enough to handle their submission. It is meant to be pleasurable for both partners, not just for some megalomaniacal top with an entitlement complex.

As a dominant you do not deserve submission, you earn it. It would be foolish for a bottom to just blindly give submission to the nearest thing as that's what opens potential doors for D/s to turn to abuse.

(in reply to Mstr2you)
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RE: It Aint A Gift - 12/29/2006 10:10:25 AM   
TPEOwner


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Joined: 9/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: blindwithscience

Since there are several pages of this, what I'm wanting to say has probably been echoed in spades, but as it is, I feel it needs to be said.

What is meant when one says that submission is a gift is that it is not a right to specific individual. Submission is given when trust is established. Yes, while submissive natures are something integral to many people's sexuality, it does not mean that just because you go on date with them, that you have the right to walk all over them. A submissive gives him or herself in the understanding that the dominant will be mature enough to handle their submission. It is meant to be pleasurable for both partners, not just for some megalomaniacal top with an entitlement complex.

As a dominant you do not deserve submission, you earn it. It would be foolish for a bottom to just blindly give submission to the nearest thing as that's what opens potential doors for D/s to turn to abuse.



All I can see, is buy a dictionary.  If I GIVE someone a punch in the nose, is it a gift?  When I go to the store and GIVE them $50 and they GIVE me a bag of groceries, have we exchanged gifts?

Your arrgument is specious.  It's akin to saying that just because you are a property seller and I am a property buyer, it doesn't mean I can just walk into your house and take it.  And if I do decide to buy your house, and you decide to sell it to me, you haven't made me a gift.  We've made an exchange of something we had for something we wanted.

(in reply to blindwithscience)
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