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RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 1:50:21 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Greetings,

quote:

Bottom line: You don't want to jump from one bad situation to another. Consider your own weaknesses and tendencies, to make sure there is no exploitation of same (internal or external, ie. by yourself or another). Don't kid or fool yourself, and be careful not to let others... in the form of a dream like puppy love focus. This is indeed a major step, and it would be to your distinct advantage to be ready for it... in all respects.

The problem with leaving relationship A and going to relationship B without a period of grieving and self-evaluation in between is that the person tends to take the problems they had with relationship A and do what they can to recreate them in relationship B.

However, I hope it all works out for you.

Regards,

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 2:37:22 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/8/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Greetings,

quote:

Bottom line: You don't want to jump from one bad situation to another. Consider your own weaknesses and tendencies, to make sure there is no exploitation of same (internal or external, ie. by yourself or another). Don't kid or fool yourself, and be careful not to let others... in the form of a dream like puppy love focus. This is indeed a major step, and it would be to your distinct advantage to be ready for it... in all respects.

The problem with leaving relationship A and going to relationship B without a period of grieving and self-evaluation in between is that the person tends to take the problems they had with relationship A and do what they can to recreate them in relationship B.

However, I hope it all works out for you.

Regards,

Sinergy

i am not in a relationship now...so i have no reason to be going through any grieving.

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 3:13:27 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i am not in a relationship now...so i have no reason to be going through any grieving.

Did not mean to imply otherwise, dizzymuse, simply commenting on going to quickly from relationship to relationship...

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to dizzymuse)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 3:46:28 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/8/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

i am not in a relationship now...so i have no reason to be going through any grieving.

Did not mean to imply otherwise, dizzymuse, simply commenting on going to quickly from relationship to relationship...

Sinergy

Ahhh well pardon my mistake....i've been having to defend every other comment off of here, so i just assumed this was directed at me as well.

take care

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 5:44:32 PM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Am i the only one who doesn't know what "Eep" means?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 5:54:29 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

i don't think they're asking you to defend yourself. rather, i think they're pointing out some decent concerns, out of resepct for your personal saftey.

honestly, i don't think they're challenging the validity of your relationship, nor your desires. a lot of the people on this board have seen a lot, have been in a wide variety of situations and observed quite a number of relationships. (i'm not one of them, incedentally) i think they are just trying to help someone avoid a potentially dangerous situation, just in case.

truly, truly, i think the people here have your best interest at heart, and they -don't- know your relationship, so can only point out what they see from their LIMITED perspective.

(in reply to dizzymuse)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 6:38:34 PM

Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dizzymuse

<snip>....i've been having to defend every other comment off of here <snip>

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

i don't think they're asking you to defend yourself. rather, i think they're pointing out some decent concerns, out of resepct for your personal saftey.

I agree with you 100%, perverseangelic.

dizzymuse,

Like perverseangelic, I think people are just worried about you. I'm very happy you're still around and reading these posts, even though you're feeling attacked.

January

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 7:03:25 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/8/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

and I *do* appreciate the worry that has been expressed.

I don't like being defensive, but sadly that is one of my traits...I didn't exactly have the greatest "past" life so I'm used to having defend myself when I say "hello".

I am not worried about His Grace and my safety. I am at a point where even *if* I do make a mistake by going here, then well that's going to be the mistake. I can't keep searching for a place to fit into. I have *finally* *finally* found that place. And it is with His Grace. I am putting a lot of trust in Him, but I'm also putting a lot of trust into myself on hoping that I can be good enough for His Grace, learn everything His mind has to teach.

I am afraid if this doesn't work I'm going to end up in a pysch. hospital because I'll go back into my old habits.

I *do* appreciate all the concern. It *does* mean something. But I am not worried at all about getting there and being safe. That has been my own choice, and it has been made. Now all that I worry about is disappointing His Grace in some way. I *did* want to come here to hear (read) your stories of the life itself...

so give me some of the up stuff

Take care

_____________________________

There exists a second ending to the story of O, according to which O, seeing that Sir Stephen was about to leave her, said she would prefer to die. Sir Stephen gave her his consent.

(in reply to January)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 7:30:49 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

((i'm going to ask this on the board 'cause i apparantly can't contact you via e-mail...i REALLY wanted to ask you about some things you mentioned in your profile. i was stupid and didn't write to your owner/domianant/master before i contacted you, which was my screw up, but after receiving a letter from him i went back and e-mailed him and appologized and asked to be able to contact you to discuss this, because its something -i- really need help with....

did i do something wrong in contacting him? could i perhaps ask a different way? was there a reason he refused to respond?

again, i'm sorry to do this on the board, but i'm hestinant to e-mail him again. please, if htis is way too forward, tell me to go away and i swear i will.
~s))

(in reply to dizzymuse)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 7:38:04 PM

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

I met Master online. We talked as friends for 3 months, then talked about meeting to see if we wanted to be more. We agreed that we had 90 days from making that decision to accomplish both the first meeting and the move. My life was over all very flexible at the time.

I came to Vegas to meet him and he made me feel the same total trust in him I ever felt from talking to him. We agreed I would move here with in a month. I told him flat out I didn't know him well enough to say I loved him, but I did know enough to feel I could serve him well. He agreed.

I have been here for over 4 1/2 years. Our relationship has progressed, and other than the relationships I have with my children, it is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

BTW, my family is aware of my BDSM choices. I spent years not speaking to them for the simple reason my mother said she didn't want to ever talk to me again until I did. He was the one that got me back together with my family. He got my sons to really like him even though they came here the first time planning on disliking him.

I do believe you can find someone here online. I am not the only one I know that has. The reality I have seen is that those who have the most problems are the ones who fall *in love* with someone they have never met, and who show great unrealistic expectations of everything being rosy. If you are facing the reality that a new relationship of any kind is going to have its ups and downs, and you (and more importantly HE) know that he is still human and not perfect, and that no matter how well you *plan* on serving him, you will make mistakes and have set backs, then hell, you are being more realistic than a lot of others I have seen.

Good luck.

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to dizzymuse)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 7:40:28 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/8/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

((i'm going to ask this on the board 'cause i apparantly can't contact you via e-mail...i REALLY wanted to ask you about some things you mentioned in your profile. i was stupid and didn't write to your owner/domianant/master before i contacted you, which was my screw up, but after receiving a letter from him i went back and e-mailed him and appologized and asked to be able to contact you to discuss this, because its something -i- really need help with....

did i do something wrong in contacting him? could i perhaps ask a different way? was there a reason he refused to respond?

again, i'm sorry to do this on the board, but i'm hestinant to e-mail him again. please, if htis is way too forward, tell me to go away and i swear i will.
~s))

ummm i'm not sure...i'll ask Him next time we talk

_____________________________

There exists a second ending to the story of O, according to which O, seeing that Sir Stephen was about to leave her, said she would prefer to die. Sir Stephen gave her his consent.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Eep - 5/13/2004 7:46:37 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/8/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

EStrict -

Thank you so much!!!

*that* kind of story is what i came here for!

i know that i am young, but i am *not* one of those girls who just wants to try out some kinky fantasy. i don't "fall in love" easily...that's only happened once and the relationship ended up ruining all of my self-esteem, and caused me great pain for a long long time. yes, i am a realist. i *do* believe everything His Grace has told me, but i am also mentally prepared if i don't make it past training. Granted i will be BEYOND devastated in myself and etc...but let's not think about me failing!

anyway, thank you for your story! i hope you continue to enjoy your life

Take care

_____________________________

There exists a second ending to the story of O, according to which O, seeing that Sir Stephen was about to leave her, said she would prefer to die. Sir Stephen gave her his consent.

(in reply to EStrict)

RE: Eep - 5/15/2004 2:22:00 AM

Posts: 418
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline

I've read where you state you must defend your choices or position in this thread, and would like you to understand that you really don't... or even that you can't do so. The replies to your post are out of concern, experiences of others, and awareness on your part, not of making you defend your choices. Simply put, a better informed choice is indeed a better choice... but it's still your choice nonetheless.

You will do what you feel is best for you in this matter. Our posts were to better inform you... to make you think, it is still your decision to make, not our's. Case histories indicate poor success rates in online meetings... period. Some online meetings work great, but these seem generally to be the exception, rather than the rule.

I commend you for returning and reading subsequent posts, but please realize you do not need to defend your choices/decisions to anyone here... those are your's alone, and you alone will either benefit, or suffer from your decisions... not the other board members who reply to your posts, your decisions will have no effect on us... only you.

If you feel this is right for you, then so be it... you'll wear the glass slipper, we won't. All we wanted to do was increase your awareness level... the decisions remain your's to make, not anyone else's here... your decisions are your's alone.

I for one, hope that things do in fact work out to your benefit, and that your journey is indeed a pleasant one... but let's face it, you should be aware of much more than simply your need, correct?

Best wishes, and I sincerely hope that you do in fact find what you seek, and find what is promised to you by those who you do meet online.

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to dizzymuse)

RE: Eep - 5/15/2004 2:32:16 AM

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/8/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

inyouagain

Thank you so much for what you wrote.

I *think* I mentioned (I'm not sure, and in all honesty I'm too lazy to go back and check right now, tis 4:30am here) that I wasn't *trying* to defend myself, it's just a reflex that I sadly have.

I do know that I don't have to defend myself to anyone (especially online).

And I *do* appreciate all of the concern that has been shown (I *know* I have mentioned that)

Take care!

_____________________________

There exists a second ending to the story of O, according to which O, seeing that Sir Stephen was about to leave her, said she would prefer to die. Sir Stephen gave her his consent.

(in reply to inyouagain)

RE: Eep - 5/15/2004 5:55:47 AM

rain

Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dizzymuse
I am afraid if this doesn't work I'm going to end up in a pysch. hospital because I'll go back into my old habits.

dizzymuse- This in particular concerns me. You mentioned either in this thread or your profile that you used to be "a cutter." Is this what you were referring to when you said the comment above?

i know that when i used to cut up my arms and wrists, i did it because i was depressed and feeling pain and seeing blood was the only way i felt *real.* My parents made sure i got proper care by referring my to a therapist.

i wanted to know if you've addressed your cutting tendencies with either a doctor or therapist? Leaving depression untreated can wreck havoc on one's life.

(hate to be such a downer, but this issue struck me)

Again, i do hope everyone works out well. Make sure you take care of yourself and do what you need to do to stay safe.

Cheers,

~rain~

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

(in reply to dizzymuse)

RE: Eep - 5/15/2004 8:22:07 AM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Am i the only one who doesn't know what "Eep" means?

Hello,

Think of old cartoons where the stereotypical housewife encounters a mouse underfoot and jumps on the kitchen table in fear.

Eep is what her scream/yell sounds like.

Clear as mud?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to rain)

RE: Eep - 5/15/2004 10:34:52 AM

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Eep is what her scream/yell sounds like.

LMAO
thank you Sinergy

< Message edited by proudsub -- 5/15/2004 9:17:34 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Eep - 5/15/2004 11:42:07 AM

Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

thanks, Sinergy - I was also wondering. (laughs) I ain't skeered of nuthin' so I didn't get it...grinssssssssssssssss

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Eep - not resposible for advice not taken - 5/15/2004 12:17:07 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

dizzymuse,

In the end you will do what you want.

Trust me, rose colored glasses are fun to wear, but you may miss red flags.

Take them off and evaluate the situation. Then make whatever decision you will.

I'm only getting this second hand and may be misinformed, but I hear that this person turns up nothing on Google, etc. Take the word of an experienced liar

that in it self is really bad.

One can barely move nowadays without making some kind of record trail. Twenty years ago if you won the seveth grade spelling bee their be a news article, etc. If there is nothing that means he is hiding something, and he's not very good at it.

At least the Mafia and Al Queda will create a false history. If it is blank the person is 1) a liar 2) a moron. You want to serve a lying moron?

Like I said, I'm getting this second hand, and I could be misinformed. Still it bugs me and I don't even know you.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to dizzymuse)

RE: Eep - 5/15/2004 2:50:38 PM

Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline

dizzy,

When I read your Master's profile and your profile, I kind of freaked out. It seemed like you were mismatched: you too vulnerable and he too commanding.

But my anxiety about him was reduced when you reported (on another post) that he'd sent you the story of O. Since this story seems to be the foundation of his D/s dreams/actions, it is very compassionate for him to have sent you a copy of the book. It will give you a leg up on meeting his expectations.

But I'm still really worried about YOU. I wish you'd convince yourself you have a value outside of being a slave/sub. That's not saying you shouldn't go! But if you fail with him, you don't fail as a human being. (Your signature regarding an alternate ending of O doesn't reassure me!)

Jan

(in reply to dizzymuse)

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