RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS?????

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RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/22/2007 9:58:34 PM

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Joined: 1/13/2007
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Although we are fairly new to this site, my wife and I met 7 years ago on another site and we have found the number of members have increased dramatically, but those willing to actually meet have decreased. There seems to have been an influx of people simply wanting to dream and not live life, likely many of these fear predators. With a little common sense it is easy to weed out the weirdoes, we even met in a foreign country for goodness sake!
Jim

"A sailboat is safest while anchored in harbour, but that is not what sailboats are for." Author unknown

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/22/2007 10:00:03 PM

Posts: 95
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Chrissy- it's exactly the same in bdsm as it is in the vanilla world.

If you can avoid them there, you can avoid them here.

I do tend to have avoided them in the vanilla world, and if I didn't then I could put up enough of a fight to make it more than distasteful for that to continue. But then they wouldn't have me in handcuffs or hung up by chains at the time would they?

I too enjoy your comments LA, and every "good view" should be able to stand up to fair challenge, or it was more important that the "incorrect view" be dismembered and finally dismissed. I understand the need for preventing abuse on this forum by such labeling, but think that somehow once someone is a clear danger there should be some way to help prevent it from happening to unsuspecting subs/slaves the next time. In the vanilla view it's almost like a prostitute complaining she got raped....yes, and so?? I will review the mentioned other site brought up for good insight on precieving when something is suspecious, and how to proceed to minimize possible risks. Thanks for the information being shared by all in this topic.

Now "baby baby hit me one more time!"

< Message edited by chrissyslave -- 1/22/2007 10:01:58 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/22/2007 10:14:06 PM

Posts: 44
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphireC

I'm just curious as to the concept of warning others about predators and other such filth that consider themself actual men - actual dominants on this site. Is that silly? Should subbies find out on their own? I'd like to think that one should give warning of a predator to somebody perhaps new to the lifestyle, new to the site before exploring some dangerous territory here. Maybe more emphasis on what to look for and how to avoid them? You can be fooled by the best of them sometimes. It happens to all of us at one point or another. Why can't we attempt to save sub/slaves from the wickedness of these foolish idiot game players and liars?

Or, should the warning be at the time of membership - "99.8 percent of this site is BS - Enter at your own risk" ??

Anybody have any thoughts either way?

And if your thinking I'm new to the lifestyle and naive, that is wrong. I'm a seasoned submissive.

Oh, and if you can't respond to the post without sarcasm and some dignity and maturity - don't bother posting. Your wasting everybody's time.

Why is it that the people that always start these threads have less than 10 posts ever and have been on the site less than two months?

Maybe we should have something in the TOS when agreeing to join the site that people won't post this tripe until they have at least broken the 100 post mark and/or 6 month test.

Did someone leave the screen door open again?

   ...begging Your pardon, Sir...and certainly not intending to argue or display disrespect...and...in no other's defense but her own...she would like to point out that there are 'some' of us here that have been long time participants on COLLARME...but
...such as is this girls personal case...showing as if she is new here...simply because she was instructed by her Master to change her profile to suit Him...

   ...this girl has never started a 'thread' but she would like to think that if she did she would be privileged with at least a modicum of consideration for her desire to 'learn' from the experiences of O/others...there is great value here that should be available for the use of all who seek it...

   ...and even 'newbies' need a place to start...

...again...just a humble slave girl's personal thinking...

_____________________________

ETERNALLY/INFERNALLY
Lord Bear's violet
(SLRN) 876-742-285
~**~
please, visit Yahoo 360
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http://www.freewebs.com/fabricconcepts/

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/22/2007 11:12:13 PM

slo18

Posts: 125
Status: offline

I wonder, and this is just me wondering cause I am sure many would find this a silly idea, but has anyone thought of maybe a simple rateing system similer to what they have on ebay, for both the subs and Doms? nothing spacific given and it would probibly end up turning into popularity contests

_____________________________

if god and the adorer call, tell them my prophet shall call their prophet, for I am in meetings verily till the end of time.

(in reply to Hissltviolet)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/22/2007 11:31:47 PM

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Hi Sappire we have chatted before. You could try getting in the local BDSM community. The sub ladies will let you know of any predators if they know of them. They could possibly recommend some good available Doms to you. The Delaware club has a munch up your way one Thursday night a month. Here is the link to the South Delaware club and they are connected with the North Del. club. I dont attend munches anymore I work 2nd shift and they changed them to Thursday nights instead of Sunday. DsDelaware : SDD/s

(in reply to slo18)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/22/2007 11:44:01 PM

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

Ok OP before you get your thong in a twist again stop and think for a moment. A sub has a clash with a Dominant here on CM. They exchange words and it gets heated, the sub then decides "hmmmm...This Dominant is a preditor ( cause he doesn't think the way I do, and is into things that I think are dangerous)" Sub reports him and he's put on a list as a preditor. All on the subs words. Does this make the Dominant a preditor? NO!!!!

I agree that there are bad people on this site. Don't think you will get much arguement there. But what you may define as bad and what I define as bad can and most likely are two different definitions. The beauty about BDSM is there is no hard and fast rules on what is right and what is wrong....basically it's safe, sane, and consentual and be right for you. And again what you define as safe and sane can be different then the next guy.

Just as you can't really police a local BDSM community, ya can't do it here either. If you need advice regarding warning signs Ask...We don't mind sharing personal experiences on what worked for us. And remember there are just as many subs and slaves that could be classified as preditors. Ask any Dominant on here and I bet they can tell you about some of the emails they've gotten wanting them to move a sub from across the BIG pond.

(in reply to ElectraGlide)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/22/2007 11:58:10 PM

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

I agree with most of your post Simplyangelic. A sub or slave could be a predator also. A predator is thought of as an abuser. They are also a user with a ulterior motive in the back of their mind. The local BDSM communities want to know what lurks in them, but will never know everything. A good hearted person could be labled bad if they had a bad run in with someone.

(in reply to simplyangelic1)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 12:00:32 AM

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From: Maryland
Status: offline

Actually I agree with all your posy Simplyangelic lol. I just want to add Sappire did ask a good question.

(in reply to ElectraGlide)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 12:00:58 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slo18

I wonder, and this is just me wondering cause I am sure many would find this a silly idea, but has anyone thought of maybe a simple rateing system similer to what they have on ebay, for both the subs and Doms? nothing spacific given and it would probibly end up turning into popularity contests

This idea again is open to misuse for all the same reasons that a name and shame list. I am always surprised that people think that those new to the lifestyle need some sort of protection. They may be new to BDSM but they are also adults.

A UK site that I belong to has a network system. People who know each other in real life can add the other person to their network. You can view their networks and see the people they are associated with. This of course does not mean that they are any more real than those without networks but does give you the chance to see if you have any contacts in common and therefore get some feedback on others.

Of course this is still not the same as finding out for yourself as that is the only way of really knowing someone.

(in reply to slo18)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 12:19:33 AM

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Joined: 6/14/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElectraGlide

Actually I agree with all your posy Simplyangelic lol. I just want to add Sappire did ask a good question.

Thank you Sir. It is a good question, one I've heard asked before. The only real cure here and in real life is when you meet someone that you don't gel with or fits your definition as a preditor, steer clear of them. If someone asks your thoughts on that person, give them an honest answer.

(in reply to ElectraGlide)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 12:28:36 AM

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Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

Another thought occurred to me. What is a preditor? Who sets the standard? I know a couple of Dominants who I would consider preditors. Not because they are dangerous in a sense. But they do troll online for newbies and have been known to impress their point of view as the only way. To me this is a form of preditor, but to the next person, they may not see anything wrong in it. Should they be added to the list? See how dangerous this could become? Pretty soon EVERYONE is on the list labeled a preditor for one reason or another. Then what good is the list?

Would you want to be labeled a preditor?

(in reply to susie)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 12:31:50 AM

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Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

~is so happy someone stood up to "her"..... ~~~~

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~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 12:51:57 AM

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Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

Gee sapphireC, don't you think you need a bit more time on this site before making such flaming allegations in your profile. Honestly, not everyone is bad on this site. I've met and talked with quite a few Dominants that are honest and have intergrity. Many of whom I call friends and a few that if curcumstances had been different, I would be proud to call Master.

You are gonna get the emails from the Dommabe's that think barking orders is what this is all about. You will also talk to some that you will seem to have a bit of connection with, but after a few emails it fizzles. You might send an email or two and never get a reply. Finding a match takes time. Would be wonderful if after a month or two we could all find exactly what we are looking for. The reality is that anything worth having takes time. As for other sites, Good luck. You will find that many sites share the same members. So what you find here, you will find there. There is one three letter site that seems to be ( to me) full of horny men looking to get laid and not into the lifestyle at all.

The grass ain't always greener.

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 2:30:48 AM

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

Pedator warnings, ratings, all have a huge potential for abuse. Even the red flags for some are green flags for others. For example we hear that a Dom who pushes for a face-to-face meeting right away is a "red flag". HUH? i want a real-life relationship and the only way i'm going to know if i connect with a Dom is to meet Him, so i want a face-to-face as soon as possible. Meeting isn't playing. i don't agree to bondage for the first time i play with someone either. Trust is built over time. Danger lurks everywhere, driving our cars, food additives, and just staying locked behind the doors of our own homes isn't without danger...think toxic mold! Use common sense, take heed of that little voice that tells you something isn't right, and for everyone's sake report rape and abuse to the police!

Most states is have a sex offender database complete with photos... doesn't hurt to browse from time to time to see if "Master" is listed.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to simplyangelic1)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 2:32:16 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

sapphireC
should the warning be at the time of membership - "99.8 percent of this site
is BS

Any adult with common sense should already know this

quote:

IvyP
i agree totally that a preditor list would be handy....

No it wouldnt be handy - Who is to say who a Predator is? Not you, not me.

People just need to think- use common sence- dont jump in- walk slowly

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 2:37:49 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Why is it that the people that always start these threads have less than 10 posts ever

They got duped but instead of admitting they were stupid they blame some one else and start one of these threads because they are pissed. Then they dissapear

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 2:42:10 AM

Posts: 375
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

Yeah really.
I mean shoot i,d red flag myself.
Since I respect the word predator.
I think it would make me feel all special,
Kinda warm and fuzzy inside.

Thing is though.
Most Dom's, and Masters are predatorial.
Its kinda what we are...

So you either find another word that makes more sense.
Or just let it drop.
I mean if you want to go find some one who preaches the word, why don't you just bring it up on myspace.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 2:44:15 AM

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Joined: 11/10/2005
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I mean.
I,m a predator, growl.....

(in reply to MasDom)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 2:55:00 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

What is one person's floor is another person's ceiling.

It is a matter of perception.

Unless the behaviour can be refered to as criminal behaviour it is a matter of taste is it not?

Sort of like if someone is use to chicken soup and then has some salsa and it is too hot to them does that make the salsa bad or just too hot for that individual?

I don't believe that it should stop with just the postings alone but they should have a large "P" written on their head in red.

But before I would subscribe to that wacked out mindset I would see just how qualified the claimee was and just what emotional baggage they might be lugging around from dom to dom...

Just a thought...after all they are just tops right? http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/prremiums126.jpg

Ross

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 2:56:53 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphireC

ALBATROSS - YOU OBVIOUSLY MISSED THE ENTIRE CONCEPT.

Actually I think she nailed it on the head.

Here's your prize: http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/pic563.jpg

Ross

(in reply to sapphireC)

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