RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS?????

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RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 11:03:19 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Geez... I guess I shouldnt be allowed to post this tripe either. Only those with years of experience HERE and those who post and post and post are allowed to ask questions??

Ummm... Yeah... if you say so. If you care to do any research on this site you would find a vast amount of server space wasted on this very topic. I never said predators do not exist and that questions should not be asked. I pointed out the irony of amount of posts and the time on the site. It isn't like we haven't seen this before.

quote:

I dont see how asking about predators is "tripe" Perhaps someone who has never been sexually assaulted considers predators and sexual assault to be "tripe"

If by sexually assaulted you mean molestation and things of that nature perhaps you should not be too hasty as to think that nothing like that has ever happened to me.

quote:

I would think that ANY group who has a sexual predator or rapist among its members would take that seriously.

If there was one, it would be dealt with in the swiftest manner possible. I assure you that the mods of this site do not take that kind of thing lightly at all.

quote:

Perhaps the men here who got the most upset by the idea of discussing what a predator is might look at why they got so upset. Does that idea make you nervous or uncomfortable???

What idea? That I am a predator? I am about as threatening as a puppy with three legs. You draw a conclusion based on what exactly?

quote:

Does that description fit you too well???

Oh yes, it does. In fact the Government likes me so much they have my picture at every Post Office.

Wanted: Gauge aka. Banana Hater, Fluffy the Wonder-puppy
Description: Balding, slightly overweight, tends to snicker at silly things like airplane crashes.
If Seen: Consider him armed and legged.
Distinguishing Marks: Has the word "Predator" tattooed on his forehead.

quote:

How can any community that ignores the issue of predators hope to build a strong safe community? Or isnt that an interest here, safety???

There is no interest in Safety here. I have been here for quite some time and the only topics I see are ones like this. Perhaps you missed the section entitled "Health and SAFETY"

Now... I must get back to my dastardly experiments with gerbils.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to PAsextoy4u)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 1:23:20 AM

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyangelic1
Whoa!!! Nobody said anything about preditors being tripe.

No, but tripe might be included in such a list. I've seen tripe. It's scary-looking stuff.

MaryT

*giggles*

< Message edited by simplyangelic1 -- 1/24/2007 1:31:48 AM >

(in reply to MaryT)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 1:30:36 AM

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphireC

quote:

ORIGINAL: PAsextoy4u

Geez... I guess I shouldnt be allowed to post this tripe either. Only those with years of experience HERE and those who post and post and post are allowed to ask questions??? Newcomers should be banned from asking questions about predators??? Or should newcomers be banned from asking ANY questions??? Just because someone doesnt post like crazy, giving their opinions on EVERY topic doesnt mean they dont deserve to ask questions.

I dont see how asking about predators is "tripe" Perhaps someone who has never been sexually assaulted considers predators and sexual assault to be "tripe" I would think that ANY group who has a sexual predator or rapist among its members would take that seriously.

Perhaps some education about what "predator" means would help. It doesnt refer to some guy who sucks at being a Dom, or some guy who just wants laid and thinks it easier to "do" a sub, or some guy who is a "player". Predator refers to someone who "PREYS" on people to get something they normally wouldnt be willing to give.

Perhaps the men here who got the most upset by the idea of discussing what a predator is might look at why they got so upset. Does that idea make you nervous or uncomfortable???   Does that description fit you too well???

I wonder why this topic has generated so many negative, almost attacking, almost insulting posts toward the original poster. Why dont groups want to look at the issue of predators? What is everyone so afraid of? Do you really think that THAT many woman would go public crying "rape" who didnt have a problem??? Do you really think that there are NOT predators in this group???

Maybe some or most of you live a life so far out on the edge that the idea of meeting up with a rapist, or an abusive sadist, or some other kind of predator, seems exciting or challenging, but some of us do NOT want that, we do not want to deal with any kind of predator.

How can any community that ignores the issue of predators hope to build a strong safe community? Or isnt that an interest here, safety???

PAsexytoy4u,
Thanks for your reply. For the life of me, I can't seem to find the part in my post that mentioned anything about a "list online". ....The definition of the word predator is pretty straightforward as well. ....You'll learn that alot of these "people" are quick to judge - quick to post on anything because they are in love with the sound of their own voice or, perhaps, they are trying to break a record for the most amount of posts. I mean, several thousand posts for some - come on - This IS their life. As far as the so-called dominants who posted with problems with it - yea....wonder why it upset them so much. I guess some egos can only be so much overinflated without eventually feeling threatened.   ... Either way - this is not the forum for real issues for real people.

Oh so you only want to hear from those that agree with you? Is that it? Well hate to break it to you but that ain't gonna happen. Life doesn't work that way...Yes I'm talking about real life. If all you are gonna do is pitch a fit everytime someone says something you don't like, you are gonna be thrashing around on the floor all the time.

You have your knickers in a twist over something. That's pretty obvious from your profile and your comments here. Is this how you behave with all people you talk to? This "I'm right you're wrong attitude?" If so then that may be your problem right there. A long look in the mirror might reveal alot. Those of us living in the "Real World" learned a long time ago that not everyone is the same and not everyone will agree with us or our choices. We accepted that as fact and are ok with it. Try it..it does make real life easier.

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 2:47:17 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings

i think your right to want to tell about others who may be a danger to others but they do not aloud it but i feel that it should be. but think of this what if you and i did nothing wrong , and someone just wanted to bad mouth us for no reason. this is why some get a back name and did not do anything but there needs to be a way for the submissive to be warn there are so very dangerous men out there nuts who enjoy the pain they can give i am sorry you can not express what you need here it is sad but everyone has right but one day there will be a way to have these person handle i would call the police if you can not get help here if you are serious about how dangerous there are and i know your serious about this i wish you luck i too worry about some of the man and woman too they can hurt as bad as a man

take care dear

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 3:07:47 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greeting luckya

we all know there are some really bad doms and dommes on the site i think it is not right to say there are none and to use her name as one someone may place on the list. i heard and read how some will take it too far submissive running aways from dom who hit way to hard. abuse when it is given is not the same as a loving dominant realtioship it is so much different then what she is speaking of. as being older we seen and heard more and there should be a way for the submissive woman and men to know who they can ask if this person is safe i had a male friend who was raped but someone he thought was ok she tied him down and force him in a place where he did not want to go she damage him with tools and would not let him up no he did not come there was not pleausre for him at all terror and fear follows him to this day and he thought after talking with her she was ok this is the type of thing we at least i do not want to happen to some of the new people no matter what their age is. He did not call the police for fear of being laughed at i wish he had she would be in jail now instead of wandering around looking for someone to hurt again and this is what she had in mind to rape him and she will do it again so lcuky give her a break she had to be hurt and many time i see so many write and wander what to do about this people who are predators hiding as good doms and dommes just a thought lucky

mons

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 4:19:37 AM

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

Fast Reply -
ARGGH...
There is a nice Dom in my munch group who likes to flirt. A collared sub went to meet Him and a subbie friend of His in a public place, a restaurant. According to the collared sub (who went alone, not with her Master) the Dom welcomed the sub to play with Him and his subbie friend at His place any time she wanted to. For a week the collared subbie's Master posted how the Dom was a predator and should be kicked out of the group and on and on and on. The description of this event came from the collared sub herself, but her Master actually used the term "predator" and asked how a "predator like **** can be allowed to prey on newbie subs".

So therein lie the danger.... an innocent remark is transformed into predatory action by the touch of a keyboard. Who is the victim here?

There are real predators out there. i may have very well missed out on some fantastic relationships by not wanting to meet in a mall parking lot in His car, by not agreeing to play on the first meeting, by saying no thanks when offered to have the first meet in a motel room.

For the OP i repeat, there is a sex offender database available for free in every state and common sense is available to anyone who chooses to use it.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to mons)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 6:21:32 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Yes--The thing is OP, you being a real and true slave, well--that's just too fuckin' obvious---

Now, what we need to know is this guy a real and true predator? I would doubt it. I have fuckin' begged to get on that list, and for good reason of drawing attention to myself, but as of yet, no emails from lustful women in my mailbox. so I guess, in getting to the brass tacks, is it gonna be a real and true list?

Hannibal Lector

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 8:16:39 AM

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

                                           Certificate of Merit
                                                reconiziing

                                             Ron-Mnottertail
                                                    as a

                                    PREDATOR FIRST CLASS

The above named individual is to be considered dangerous to weak kneed females.

   WARNING -  he may use you sexually and otherwise to satisfy his twisted desires!

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 1/24/2007 8:17:23 AM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 8:26:18 AM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Now... I must get back to my dastardly experiments with gerbils.

Are you breeding super-cute gerbils or super-attack gerbils? Or even better - super-cute-attack gerbils!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 8:29:06 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Point Blank - i can and am some what of a predator. I think most people have it in them. I learned to be a predator because i got tired of being prey. It keeps me safe.

In this world there are predators and there are prey. i also know that i am some what attracted to predatory type's because they will also keep me safe from the OTHER predators out there.

i have been prey far too long in my life not to do something about it. I also personally think that there is nothing wrong with having predatory qualities as long as one has morals, ethics and an intelligence about it. As long as one can keep it in check.

But then, i probably have a different definition of "predator" then the one commonly being used here.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to twicehappy)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 2:29:37 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Are you breeding super-cute gerbils or super-attack gerbils? Or even better - super-cute-attack gerbils!

I am sorry but I cannot give you that information. I am sworn to secrecy by the United States Government and the Department of Defense. I can give you a hint though, we are developing re-enforced shirt pockets in which to carry the gerbils around with you.

I have said too much...

Now I must hunt you down like the predator that I am.

Would you prefer to have your brain sucked out by an anemic flea with jaundice or would you rather be drained of all of your blood and be filled with Very Berry Kool-Aid?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 2:45:04 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

Are you breeding super-cute gerbils or super-attack gerbils? Or even better - super-cute-attack gerbils!

I am sorry but I cannot give you that information. I am sworn to secrecy by the United States Government and the Department of Defense. I can give you a hint though, we are developing re-enforced shirt pockets in which to carry the gerbils around with you.

I have said too much...

Now I must hunt you down like the predator that I am.

Would you prefer to have your brain sucked out by an anemic flea with jaundice or would you rather be drained of all of your blood and be filled with Very Berry Kool-Aid?

*squeal* I shall carry gerbils around with me in my shirt pocket until I die. As for my death, I would prefer to be drained of blood and be filled with the Kool-Aid. If someone could do a mercy flogging while I'm being drained, that would also be appreciated.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 5:45:17 PM

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Look, we get it already. You had sex with some guy, he decided he didn't want a repeat performance and he sure didn't plan to marry you and have you raise his babies. So now you want revenge for being stupid and/or drunk enough to have sex with him in the first place.

No way, sweetheart.

Now, if he dragged you into his van and violated you when you were just supposed to meet for coffee, you wouldn't be whining about making him have to open a new profile since you think he should lose his present one. You would be down at the police station screaming bloody hell about him.

Give it a break already.

(in reply to Marc2b)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 6:39:31 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

WARNING - he may use you sexually and otherwise to satisfy his twisted desires!

HA! I suspected as much when I read his profile ...

(in reply to twicehappy)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 7:10:17 PM

Posts: 153
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

Greetings everyone,
(a girl hopes her post doesn't become moderated for including a link) but the idea of a predator list can be very scary, and it airs the idea of defamation of character. Whose to say who is and who isnt a predator. Is it because one slave had a bad experience with a dominant that he is now blackballed as a predator. Or even the opposite, a Dominant who finds he has a nutball slave, and he ends up publically outcasting her so that she may not have an opportunity to seek out another. These sort of lists can ruin reputations.
Which reminds me of a web site i visited recently. If this doesnt remind people that hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn, its a site dedicated to bashing men, posting pictures, personal information, where they live, job, about their families, and this is all LEGALLY done for the benefit of women who may have been prey to so called "predators"...personally i am against such a site, however can you imagine a site like this for people of the BDSM community?????

take care,
justina

[Mod Note: link removed. Blacklists are not allowed or supported here for reasons already specified numerous times]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 1/24/2007 9:17:15 PM >

(in reply to Aileen68)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/24/2007 9:15:22 PM

Posts: 58
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline

I have become more and more confused as I have tried to follow this thread. People keep accusing the OP of so many things, yet I keep going back to her original message. Do you all know her personally??? If not, what is making so many of you say such outrageous things about her and her situation??? You are accusing her of having a one night stand and getting dumped, of being a fake, of being angry cause of being jilted, and on and on and on. I dont read ANY of that in her initial message.

But what has disturbed me the MOST is how angry some of you have gotten over this, how sarcastic some of you have been, and how many of you have been so mocking of the issue of sexual assault, rape, predators, etc. I dont know if many of you are just online BDSMers so making fun of everything and everyone seems OK to you. No one is real to you so you can insult them, mock their concerns, be sarcastic etc.

For a group of people to be so belittling of such an important issue is disturbing. And to see so many men be so angry and attacking it really makes me even less likely to pursue any one on one meetings with a man from CM. Submitting is such an intimate, vulnerable way of being that to see the Doms be angry at some of the subs makes me want to back up and re-examine some things here.

What seems to have happened here is like that game, where you whisper something in someone's ear, and they are to repeat it by whispering to the next person. By paraphrasing the message, each person alters the original message just enough so that when it gets back to the first person, the message is not the same. The first person doesnt recognize the message they sent around the room. Some of you pounced on things said by others and you were fueled by that, not what the OP wrote. And it kept building as it went around. Few posters actually addressed her initial questions. Mob mentality took over too LOL

I still dont understand why the original post started such a fire storm of insults, sarcasm, belittling, criticism, ranting, raving. Obviously the issue of predators and whether people should be notified or warned is a very hot button for most of us. I hope to some day see a more rational, caring, responsible, discussion on predators and warning others.

(in reply to justinasamerk)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/25/2007 2:27:42 AM

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

PA
She started it when she posted that this site should warn that there are preditors here. Then she added to it by "yelling" at LA for her post. I don't know of any site anyone can visit that doesn't have preditors on it. Yahoo, MySpace, here and the list goes on all have issues with preditors. We know they exist, Reading her flaming profile made me draw the conclusions that I did.

No she didn't come out and say that there should be a list but it is an easy conclusion to draw from what she did say. How else would a newbie find out if said Dominant she was curious about was a preditor or not? Someone would have to be asked and a list consulted. Sometimes it not what you say, but what you don't say that speaks the loudest. We have been trying to point out the dangers of labeling someone a preditor which seems to be escaping both you and her. She mentioned liars and game players. I hate to break it to ya'll but it's not only Dominants that are quilty of this. I've crossed paths with a number of subs and slaves who lie and play games. So do we warn newbie Dominants too?

This isn't that hard of a concept to grasp. I'm sure you have heard the statement if it's too good to be true it probably is. I try to apply this when talking to anyone. When dealing with people online, I always suspect they are liars and players till they prove otherwise. It's not a sure fire method, but it's the best I've come up with so far.

(in reply to PAsextoy4u)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/25/2007 6:31:10 AM

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

PA, normal people do not respond to being stalked, raped, attacked etc by demaning the criminal who did this never be allowed to post again. They go to their local DA's office and ask to talk to the prosecutor specializing in sex crimes. They press criminal charges against criminals.

Hell, if her car had been broken into and she knew who had done it, she would have called the police and not gone to a car forum demanding he never again be allowed to talk about carburetors.

If she is talking about a true predator, a criminal, then her response is senseless. If she has no viable reason to call the cops then he isn't a predator, a criminal. He's just some guy she didn't get along with for any of a dozen reasons which can range from entirely his fault, entirely hers or blame deserved equally. And the fact that she isn't calling the police tells us that he isn't a predator, just some guy who either has harmed her or who she imagines has, but in any case she wants revenge on. And the revenge she is attempting to get is to prevent him from seeking someone who he is compatible with.

All in all, the fact that all she is interested in is preventing him from getting a date again, and not learning herself how to choose partners who she is compatible with tells us a great deal about her, none of it positive.

(in reply to simplyangelic1)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/25/2007 9:04:11 AM

Posts: 58
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline

I can only conclude by your post that you have NO knowledge or experience with the legal system in the US concerning the issue of sexual assault. Women who are beaten and raped in front of witnesses dont get justice and get raked over the coals, so women who are preyed upon or assaulted in less severe ways have little chance of being listened to, being believed, being supported. THIS thread proves my point. Many here immediately ASSume that she is a vindictive jilted lover. Where did you read that in HER posts??? I dont know her, maybe YOU personally know her so you know things that were not posted here, but based on the words here, she never said she was jilted.

Going to the local police and telling them that you have been assaulted or raped by a man who is Dominant, that you intitially consented to "play" with, will get you laughed at or insulted or riduculed at the very best. I cant imagine most women feeling safe enough to take that risk of going to the local police, risking their local communities finding out, especially is there is little chance of having him be arrested or be punished for what HE did. THIS is the REAL world we are talking about, when we mock someone for not running to their local police to press charges. In the make believe world of cyber land, sure, we can tell the cops and have them listen to us and believe us. LOL Dont know about YOUR local area, but mine is very conservative, narrow minded and judgmental. Hmmmm sounds familiar

If it was ME, and I didnt feel safe going to the cops, I would want to at least warn other women who might come in contact with him. I would feel horrible if I didnt warn anyone and he hurt another women. And most predators dont have just ONE victim. And if it was ME, and I knew that someone I knew could have warned me about him and didnt, I would be upsest. As women, if we dont look out for each other and "have each others' back", who will??? The predators???

(in reply to Celeste43)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/25/2007 9:10:24 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PAsextoy4u
If it was ME, and I didnt feel safe going to the cops, I would want to at least warn other women who might come in contact with him. I would feel horrible if I didnt warn anyone and he hurt another women. And most predators dont have just ONE victim. And if it was ME, and I knew that someone I knew could have warned me about him and didnt, I would be upsest. As women, if we dont look out for each other and "have each others' back", who will??? The predators???

We're not saying that helping others is wrong. we're saying that going about it in an arbitrary vindictive way is wrong. Since the OP has never once explained how she would define predator, we can't say whether her perspective is a reasonable one to take into account.

The reality is, and trust me, I know this after 8 years of experience in the scene, that almost all the people who get riled up about "protecting from the predators" are people who got scorned and want justification in their livess.

The people who are sincerely worried about protection get INVOLVED in the community, work on education programs and work on teaching people to be responsible for themselves.

We can't be so worried about protecting would-be victims that we surrender all protection to slander others.

As far as the criminal process, I think your view is a little over skewed as well. Have you heard of the NCSF?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PAsextoy4u)

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