So when does it become a point of slander and liability rather than informRE: PREDATOR WARNINGS?????

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> So when does it become a point of slander and liability rather than informRE: PREDATOR WARNINGS?????

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So when does it become a point of slander and liability... - 1/23/2007 3:07:58 AM

SirDiscipliner69

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyP

homework...i agree totally that a preditor list would be handy....

So We start making these lists and labeling people right?

So when does it become a point of slander and liability rather than informing others of potential threats?

When does one judge the motivation for placing someone on that list?

What if the person who nominated the candidate for Preditor list became aware of how novice they might of been and just how certain encounters unearthed certain previous tramas the postee had in previous childhood exeriences.?

Sounds like there should be a qualifying list for potential submissives to fill out before applying to submit to a dom.

Questions that come to mind immediately are:

Have you ever been raped?

Have you ever been sexually abused as a child?

Have you been thru marital strife and are seeking an outlet?

Are you under medication?

Are you under doctors' care for either mental or physical reasons?

Do you like to reenact previous tramas as you find them sexually exciting?

Do you have more than one personality?

Do you often follow what the voices in your head tell you to do?

Do you have low self esteme about your recent ongoing weight gainand struggle for acceptance within a group of your peers?

Do you feel the need for constant reassurance from someone you paly with?

Are you in need of constant peer acceptance?

Just food for thought......

Here is your safety kit: http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/prremiums123.jpg

Ross

(in reply to IvyP)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 3:14:14 AM

SirDiscipliner69

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Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Pedator warnings, ratings, all have a huge potential for abuse. Even the red flags for some are green flags for others. For example we hear that a Dom who pushes for a face-to-face meeting right away is a "red flag". HUH? i want a real-life relationship and the only way i'm going to know if i connect with a Dom is to meet Him, so i want a face-to-face as soon as possible. Meeting isn't playing. i don't agree to bondage for the first time i play with someone either. Trust is built over time. Danger lurks everywhere, driving our cars, food additives, and just staying locked behind the doors of our own homes isn't without danger...think toxic mold! Use common sense, take heed of that little voice that tells you something isn't right, and for everyone's sake report rape and abuse to the police!

Most states is have a sex offender database complete with photos... doesn't hurt to browse from time to time to see if "Master" is listed.

Good point. Well done.

Here is your prize for contributing: http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/pic664.jpg

And this is a bonus one: http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/tiki154.jpg
Pass it on to someone who really needs it.

Ross

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: So when does it become a point of slander and liabi... - 1/23/2007 5:52:24 AM

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From: central NH
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"Have you ever been raped?

Have you ever been sexually abused as a child?

Have you been thru marital strife and are seeking an outlet?

Are you under medication?

Are you under doctors' care for either mental or physical reasons?

Do you like to reenact previous tramas as you find them sexually exciting?

Do you have more than one personality?

Do you often follow what the voices in your head tell you to do?

Do you have low self esteme about your recent ongoing weight gainand struggle for acceptance within a group of your peers?

Do you feel the need for constant reassurance from someone you paly with?

Are you in need of constant peer acceptance?"

All of the above....smiles

< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 1/23/2007 5:53:29 AM >

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

RE: So when does it become a point of slander and liabi... - 1/23/2007 5:55:23 AM

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I am sorry I got in here so late, but please put me on the Predator List, its good advertisement and the girls like it.....

Thank you for reading this (looking at my profile, and falling in lust with this dangerous man),

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to KeirasSecret)

RE: So when does it become a point of slander and liabi... - 1/23/2007 6:11:10 AM

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But...but... you're leaving.
Be gone already, evil troll man.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: So when does it become a point of slander and liabi... - 1/23/2007 6:14:55 AM

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Another example of others expressing the same opinions i hold, and probably doing it better than i would, so we'll skip the repetition. I agree with all of the above (even Ron ).

On a side note, what a shame "predator" now has negative connotations. In many ways i enjoy being the "prey" in a relationship...

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 1/23/2007 6:15:49 AM >

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 6:15:42 AM

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From: North Carolina
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphireC

Or, should the warning be at the time of membership - "99.8 percent of this site is BS - Enter at your own risk" ??

Anybody have any thoughts either way?

And if your thinking I'm new to the lifestyle and naive, that is wrong. I'm a seasoned submissive.

Oh, and if you can't respond to the post without sarcasm and some dignity and maturity - don't bother posting. Your wasting everybody's time.

Hello! It's the internet. It is full of liars and fakes. What is predator to some might be what another is seeking. Everyone can be taken in by a wannabe liar at anytime. It happens, its life. Deal with it and move on.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: So when does it become a point of slander and liabi... - 1/23/2007 6:18:06 AM

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Have you ever been raped?     Yes.

Have you ever been sexually abused as a child?     Yes.

Have you been thru marital strife and are seeking an outlet?    No. Never been married.

Are you under medication?    Yes. For RA.

Are you under doctors' care for either mental or physical reasons?   Yes-Physical.

Do you like to reenact previous traumas as you find them sexually exciting? No. Reenacting dirt bike crashes does not get me off.

Do you have more than one personality? Define this question better please.

Do you often follow what the voices in your head tell you to do? Depends on what they are saying.

Do you have low self esteem about your recent ongoing weight gain and struggle for acceptance within a group of your peers?   See below.

Do you feel the need for constant reassurance from someone you play with?   Only if they are dangling me from my nipples off the edge of a cliff.

Are you in need of constant peer acceptance?   Um...exactly who are my peers?

So given my answers do you think i should be allowed a profile on cm?

PS; Ron, do you mean predator as in you hunt and eat meat or as in Alien versus Predator? Just wondering as it would clear up some questions about certain facets of your personality, lmao.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

RE: So when does it become a point of slander and liabi... - 1/23/2007 6:19:10 AM

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Every time I try to get out they drag me back in.....

Ron Pacino

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Aileen68)

RE: So when does it become a point of slander and liabi... - 1/23/2007 6:30:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Questions that come to mind immediately are:

Have you ever been raped?

Have you ever been sexually abused as a child?

Have you been thru marital strife and are seeking an outlet?

Are you under medication?

Are you under doctors' care for either mental or physical reasons?

Do you like to reenact previous tramas as you find them sexually exciting?

Do you have more than one personality?

Do you often follow what the voices in your head tell you to do?

Do you have low self esteme about your recent ongoing weight gainand struggle for acceptance within a group of your peers?

Do you feel the need for constant reassurance from someone you paly with?

Are you in need of constant peer acceptance?

So, all my answers (save the one about medication, who knew having seasonal allergies would make me an undesirable?) are NO.
But my answer to: Do you categorically refuse any suitors who present you with a survey of very personal questions about subjects that carry a great deal of stigma in our culture for the sake of qualifying you as a submissive?
That answer would be: YES.
Once we begin subjecting others to checklists before we allow them into our circle, it isnt long until we find ourselves standing in the room alone.
Just food for thought.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

RE: So when does it become a point of slander and liabi... - 1/23/2007 6:49:38 AM

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A be yourself or be by your goddamn self issue.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to justheather)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 6:54:33 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphireC

I'm just curious as to the concept of warning others about predators and other such filth that consider themselves actual men - actual dominants on this site. Is that silly? Should subbies find out on their own?

*sorry I just came into this thread late so I'm just answering the OP now.

I believe in each incident or case it's not going to be handled the same way by me but more by the circumstance and my affiliation with who's asking.
Sometimes, if I have not had any of that in my experience with someone, or seen anything face to face for myself, I don't say much except in the event it's a close personal friend asking.
I don't want to perpetuate the rumor mill against someone who may be innocent and just not well liked or something.
If indeed someone has an issue that I dealt with personally, or saw with my own two eyes, you bet your bootie I mention that if asked, and if in cases of severe abuse or neglect IMO tell people from what I encountered myself about the abuse to any who will hear.
Even then I temper my emotions and anger and rather lay out the cold facts.
Would I go up to a stranger in public standing next to this miserable excuse for a man predator and tell them I think they are in danger? No, not in 90% of the cases as you have to let people choose for themselves.
If I see someone being abused emotionally I sometimes will and sometimes won't get in and start talking.
If someone who's a stranger is being physically abused and hollering for help, you bet I'm there even when it puts me at risk.
Except if they keep allowing this abuser to attack them at later times by choosing to remain affiliated and active with the abuser. I will then, after I see they don't help themselves I mostly step back and let them choose to suffer.
I still would keep pointing out it does not have to be that way, but I don't personally bring myself on the line with them any longer.
I think a list, like LA said isn't the answer.
I think people who hold ill will toward innocent people would be putting people on the list who does not belong there.
Who would judge who can post something malicious without ruining the wrong persons reputation?
It does suck there's no easy answer, but I think karma has a way of balancing the scales in life. If you cause suffrage you too will suffer somehow.
If you lived in suffrage to someone abusive, good things will happen to and for you to balance that too.
Over all you just have to trust your gut, and hope you have good discernment without being to calloused to see the good ones.
suzanne

< Message edited by onestandingstill -- 1/23/2007 6:58:53 AM >

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 7:13:39 AM

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Everyone can be a predator to someone. It may not be reality but it is true none the same. What one considers a turn on the other may consider a turn off.
Lord Velvet

(in reply to onestandingstill)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 7:29:58 AM

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I am a predator I"LL chew you up and spit you out if you aren't strong enough,,There is a difference in my method of madness,with me you know what you get and are aware before hand...I don't stalk and I don.t abuse children ol folks and animals,the rest of the human species is fair game smiles..There are predators and there is prey which are you...WILLIAM

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to LordVelvet)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 7:31:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chrissyslave
I do tend to have avoided them in the vanilla world, and if I didn't then I could put up enough of a fight to make it more than distasteful for that to continue. But then they wouldn't have me in handcuffs or hung up by chains at the time would they?

But the issues are the same- if you use good judgement and someone is a good person, it shouldn't matter WHAT position you were in- even if you were knocked out.

And that same good judgement you use in the vanilla world is what you use here. Now, if you had bad judgement in the vanilla world, you should take time to improve that before you make commitments to anything.

quote:

I understand the need for preventing abuse on this forum by such labeling, but think that somehow once someone is a clear danger there should be some way to help prevent it from happening to unsuspecting subs/slaves the next time.

What do you consider "clear danger" and how will an online listing do any such thing?

If there is real danger, the police are the ones to involve locally.

quote:

In the vanilla view it's almost like a prostitute complaining she got raped....yes, and so?? I will review the mentioned other site brought up for good insight on precieving when something is suspecious, and how to proceed to minimize possible risks. Thanks for the information being shared by all in this topic.

Now "baby baby hit me one more time!"

The main issue with these lists (other than the fact that they are completely arbitrary, unmonitored, and unvalidated) is that they allow people a FALSE sense of security. They are also black lists.

No one seems to answer the question when they want to create these lists- What would prevent me from putting YOUR name on that list?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to chrissyslave)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 8:56:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphireC

Or, should the warning be at the time of membership - "99.8 percent of this site is BS - Enter at your own risk" ??

Im going with this one...or my other favorite..... "for your own safety..do not use this product if your IQ is not high enough to think for yourself"

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to sapphireC)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 10:21:42 AM

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Those who are most eager to list predators are in general the ones who have no business doing so.

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 10:41:14 AM

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From: Sin City
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

No one seems to answer the question when they want to create these lists- What would prevent me from putting YOUR name on that list?

Because that would be lying, LA. And everyone knows that everyone who uses the internet is 100% honest, all the time. Well, except all those predators of course.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 1:23:19 PM

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Geez... I guess I shouldnt be allowed to post this tripe either. Only those with years of experience HERE and those who post and post and post are allowed to ask questions??? Newcomers should be banned from asking questions about predators??? Or should newcomers be banned from asking ANY questions??? Just because someone doesnt post like crazy, giving their opinions on EVERY topic doesnt mean they dont deserve to ask questions.

I dont see how asking about predators is "tripe" Perhaps someone who has never been sexually assaulted considers predators and sexual assault to be "tripe" I would think that ANY group who has a sexual predator or rapist among its members would take that seriously.

Perhaps some education about what "predator" means would help. It doesnt refer to some guy who sucks at being a Dom, or some guy who just wants laid and thinks it easier to "do" a sub, or some guy who is a "player". Predator refers to someone who "PREYS" on people to get something they normally wouldnt be willing to give.

Perhaps the men here who got the most upset by the idea of discussing what a predator is might look at why they got so upset. Does that idea make you nervous or uncomfortable??? Does that description fit you too well???

I wonder why this topic has generated so many negative, almost attacking, almost insulting posts toward the original poster. Why dont groups want to look at the issue of predators? What is everyone so afraid of? Do you really think that THAT many woman would go public crying "rape" who didnt have a problem??? Do you really think that there are NOT predators in this group???

Maybe some or most of you live a life so far out on the edge that the idea of meeting up with a rapist, or an abusive sadist, or some other kind of predator, seems exciting or challenging, but some of us do NOT want that, we do not want to deal with any kind of predator.

How can any community that ignores the issue of predators hope to build a strong safe community? Or isnt that an interest here, safety???

(in reply to chrissyslave)

RE: PREDATOR WARNINGS????? - 1/23/2007 1:29:41 PM

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PA- the issue people are against isn't about discussion of predators.

The issue is about creating a "predator list" online.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PAsextoy4u)

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