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RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/28/2007 8:54:07 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

~fast reply~
Some of the thoughts expressed in this thread are ridiculous. There is a lot of misunderstanding about self-injury. The act in and of itself can become addictive, and that doesn't even touch the reasons why it is done in the first place. I knew a teen who was a cutter. Guess what -- she was never abused, was a distinguished honor student, came from a broken home, from the outside looking her, she has a good life. No doubt she had feelings of pressure and anxiety, as she was preparing herself to attend college and she was only interested in the higher ranked schools. She did not do it in order to seek attention. She hid her injuries and her materials (as most cutters do). Please read about self-injury and get educated instead of assuming it is something that girls do in order to get attention.

It just seems like every "cutter" that I meet happens to be one of those girls - you know- the ones that write horrible, maudlin poetry and show it to their friends, who, in an attempt to suppress the ol' gag reflex, end up telling them how much "talent" they possesses. Yep............I'll bet those same girls also hope and pray that someone "accidently" views the cutting scars, so they can be the darling of the proverbial "attention" spotlight, and get misdiagnosed with some "chemical imbalance."
In the shitty part of town where I (reluctantly) reside, I see so many people that are HOMELESS because of REAL mental and personality disorders, that the phenomenon which I've dubbed "White Gal Spotlight Disorder" just seems like another trivial tantrum - a way to lavish the SELF with misdirected attention.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/28/2007 10:03:10 AM

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From: Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

~fast reply~
Some of the thoughts expressed in this thread are ridiculous. There is a lot of misunderstanding about self-injury. The act in and of itself can become addictive, and that doesn't even touch the reasons why it is done in the first place. I knew a teen who was a cutter. Guess what -- she was never abused, was a distinguished honor student, came from a broken home, from the outside looking her, she has a good life. No doubt she had feelings of pressure and anxiety, as she was preparing herself to attend college and she was only interested in the higher ranked schools. She did not do it in order to seek attention. She hid her injuries and her materials (as most cutters do). Please read about self-injury and get educated instead of assuming it is something that girls do in order to get attention.

It just seems like every "cutter" that I meet happens to be one of those girls - you know- the ones that write horrible, maudlin poetry and show it to their friends, who, in an attempt to suppress the ol' gag reflex, end up telling them how much "talent" they possesses. Yep............I'll bet those same girls also hope and pray that someone "accidently" views the cutting scars, so they can be the darling of the proverbial "attention" spotlight, and get misdiagnosed with some "chemical imbalance."
In the shitty part of town where I (reluctantly) reside, I see so many people that are HOMELESS because of REAL mental and personality disorders, that the phenomenon which I've dubbed "White Gal Spotlight Disorder" just seems like another trivial tantrum - a way to lavish the SELF with misdirected attention.

I won't doubt you have met some like this, but you can't generalize and put everyone together as that being the case. There are people who do all kinds of shocking things for attention, from pink hair, to piercings, and yes, even cutting. That doesn't mean that everyone does though.

Cutting is a serious problem, that can be very dangerous. Maybe some are using it for attention, but I would say if that were the case, they do have some sort of mental problem. It might not be the same as someone that does it for the so-called "right reasons", but it still exists as a problem.

I walk around with these scars everyday, if I could go back and change the events that had me start it in the first place, I would. Instead, I have to walk around with them, not bad in the winter, but horrid in the summer..and hope that nobody notices, or if they do, they don't jump to conclusions about me solely from those marks.

I am not homeless because of my bi-polar or cutting. That is only because I have people around me at this time in my life, to help me thru things and not give up on me. I know that I am very blessed in that, because I wasn't far from it myself in August.

Just don't be so quick to judge others and why they do things.. you always seem smart to me, and I usually enjoy your posts a lot. I would think being in the neighborhood you are in, you would know that judging by the cover, isn't always the best way to go..its the story inside that makes the person.

Kasha

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Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

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(in reply to TreSwank)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/28/2007 2:23:34 PM

justanotheclaire

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From: cambs, uk
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ive cut in the past. noone knows, noone sees. i do not enjoy pain but spent two years with a sadist a scene was a way of lettin go all my pain and hurt and sadness rolled down my cheeks with my tears.
my childhood was very controlled my dad mentally abusive i learnt not to show feelings. nowadays i cant cry if i bleed a little its ok i can cry and its all ok again. i do feel guilty its a selfish act
my mother would be distrought if she knew or saw and would blame herself .
in the past people did cut themself well some became relegious used self flaguation(spelt wrong) to cure there sins i do not use god as my excuse lol its just a way to let go till i learn to express emotions ina safe manner

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RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/28/2007 5:42:56 PM

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Tre - honestly, I think you'd do better to discount the instances you've come across, stop posting about them and instead read what others are writing here on this occasion.

I dont doubt there might be some out there self harming for attention, having heard that this is what one is "meant to do" when in a psychological crisis - just as others will be threatening suicide for the same reasons.

But its only when you come into contact with the real thing, as its being revealed here that you will understand that the attention seekers are not the majority. And I write that as the last scar is healing on my left arm, done in a fit of such absolute rage and emotional pain that had anyone else had to bear its fruit I might be on a murder charge.

Why do I do it? Because in that instant of physical pain, the emotional pain is discharged entirely with no harm to anyone else - not as a reasoned act (because its perfectly unreasonable, really), but because I found a long time ago that it works and aside from smashing the place up, is the only thing that does work.
E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to TreSwank)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 8:13:12 AM

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I try to be "nicety nice" empathetic in my day-to-day living, but "cutters" are a total joke. If someone ridiculed these girls, or "called them out" (you know - the "if you're for real, go ahead and do it, ploy) they'd probably realize just how silly their little antics are, in comparison with REAL problems, like, once again, the imfamous Treacher-Collins Syndrome. (Yes, that is a baby's face)

No, I don't know every cutter, or his/her subjective reasons for cutting. As a matter of fact, I don't know every "registered sex offender", either, but that doesn't make them someone to whom I'd like to offer kind words. Cutting is silly.......PERIOD. Girls who cut themselves would wake up every day, and sing a paean of joy to the Almighty, for the sheer fact that they don't have Treacher-Collins Syndrome.

Look at THIS and tell me that your big "problems" - you know, the one's that cause you to cut yourself, are that significant.

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 1/30/2007 8:20:39 AM >

(in reply to LadyEllen)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 8:55:56 AM

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I began cutting when I was 18 years old to kill the pain of many traumas in my life and continued up until now...I rarely cut these days, I am in counseling and trying to find better alternatives ..It's most definately an illness ..almost an addiction...

[Mod Note: font reduced]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 1/30/2007 2:02:13 PM >

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RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 11:08:00 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank
Look at THIS and tell me that your big "problems" - you know, the one's that cause you to cut yourself, are that significant.

hmmm... is my older brother dying when i am in third grade good enough? or how about watching my mom be beaten?? not good enough yet?

ok how about watching her live in a hospital for 2 years having over 30 brain surgeries just to come out in the end like a vegetable coz some douche fucked up? how about watching her, like this for 10 years [so far] wishing she could die and finally have some peace?

or maybe the sister slash best friend who dies from drunk driving when your 16? no? living with your crazy hippie dad who only took you in for the welfare money and forced to live a "green powered" life? [100% off the grid]

thats still not good enough to cut yourself guilt free of some girl youve never met?

how about being diagnosed with the same genetic malformation that ruined your mothers life in the first place.

i dont reccomend telling people to their face that ther problems arent good enough.

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to TreSwank)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 1:39:07 PM

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But is it really as bad as Treacher-Collins?

Sweetheart, if it made your slime-cleft get that oozy feeling I could understand. I mean, I'm trying my Boy-Scout best to grasp how some folks can come into the world with every disadventage, but fight through it all like a fiery-hearted pugilist, while others can't deal with issues like death in the family or the existential lonliness that everyone has had to endure since the beginning of time. I guess that some folks are born with stronger guts than others.

(in reply to mixielicous)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 1:48:27 PM

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yea i saw your link. it doesnt move me. i even looked at the pictures.

maybe this is why my friends call me misanthrope. ha.

to trivialize anyones problems and say they are any less than someone elses regardless of wether they are or not is just stupid. maybe someday when your girlfriend is killed in a car accident, maybe right in front of you, you will finally be able to see this.

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to TreSwank)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 1:57:12 PM

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Tre, don't be such an ass. I am sure girls like you describe exist but to ASSUME that all people that do this can be lumped into the same batch only serves to make you look foolish.

My daughter and I are close, very close. Yet somehow she managed to hide a great many self abuses including cutting for quite a few years. Alot of these people tell no one and wear clothing that specifically cover what they are doing to themselves.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TreSwank)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:01:01 PM

justanotheclaire

Posts: 113
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From: cambs, uk
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im really sorry u cant see emotional scars im really sorry they dont have scans that show the events that cripple people emotionally and leave them unable to deal with pain and anger conventionally
im preyign for the day when this magic scan arrives i can see them talking round the results sexual and mental abuse b4 the age of 8, rapes from 13, 3 lost babies two from rape, the step dad who tried it on then blamed me the family who believed him, the mother who drinks
at the end of the day these marks exsist in my head only u wont ever see the real causes dont be stupid enough to think they dont exsist

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RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:11:38 PM

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You have no idea how any of us grew up, or what made us what we are. You weren't there during the experience, and we don't really feel the need to put it out there on this board for all of the world to see. No one can disagree that the illness you show isn't bad, but there are plenty of illnesses, pain, toruture..etc that lie under the outside skin that no one knows about.

To look back at the childhood pics I have, I looked pretty happy..but that was the only part that anyone ever saw. My problems were not worse than anyone elses, but they were not less than either.

Grow up and open your eyes to the world around you. Just because you can't see the scars someone carries, or the pain, does not mean it doesn't exist...and sometimes those are the deepest scars of all.

Drea

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Still SlaveAkasha...but needing to just be me...if that makes sense.

(in reply to TreSwank)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:15:23 PM

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Come on now, girls

Every adult human being has their share of emotional issues to sift through, but you don't have to cut yourselves, for God's sake! How about turning that negative energy into a constructive hobby, like learning to crochet, or committing textbooks to memory? Jogging, maybe? If I could quit smoking, I'd take up jogging with the quickness.

(in reply to justanotheclaire)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:20:41 PM

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hmmmmm...i seem to remember a couple of your posts discussing your over-drinking behavior...surely you can understand that this is just your way of coping, as self-mutilation is ours...

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it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

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(in reply to TreSwank)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:22:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilsubl

hmmmmm...i seem to remember a couple of your posts discussing your over-drinking behavior...surely you can understand that this is just your way of coping, as self-mutilation is ours...

I drink alot because it's FUN. Way different direction.

(in reply to lilsubl)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:22:38 PM

justanotheclaire

Posts: 113
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hmm yes why didnt i think of that i could knit my way to happiness ........... or i could eat my way to happiness shit i already did that

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RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:24:55 PM

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What about taking creative writing courses, or getting a second job? The possibilities are endless.

I've started taking Mandarin Chinese courses from one of my best "yellow" buddies- but I'm still gonna stink at it for a while. The Chinese concept of language is NOTHING like that of you and I, boys and girls. It's fucking hard.

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 1/30/2007 2:32:40 PM >

(in reply to justanotheclaire)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:31:59 PM

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yep...that's what we all said, all of us alcoholics, darlin...just a thought....

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Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife

it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to TreSwank)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:39:26 PM

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Gimme a break, now. Why are we comparing a well-adjusted young man's evening libations to problem-cutting?

I drink to relax after work, and I never drink by my lonesome.

(in reply to lilsubl)

RE: using pain to ease pain --- & cutters - 1/30/2007 2:41:45 PM

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i am not actually a cutter, per se...i use my fingernails to dig holes in my skin...i do this where it can't be seen except during intimate moments...in recent years, i've noticed that the deeper the emotional pain i'm feeling, the deeper the holes will become...the more physical pain that i cause myself, the less emotional pain i feel...i have never opened up to anyone about this, including mental health practitioners, except to Master...i had to tell Him since He noticed when i took my clothes off...He told me to just stop it & this worked for quite awhile, that i was ordered to stop...then i felt some emotional pain connected with Him & that's where i went again...so now you all know way more about me than 99% of the people in my real life do...the only reason i'm opening up about this is due to this thread, so thank you for starting it...& yes, if Master inflicts physical pain on me, it works about the same as the picking does for me....

*edited to add: fairly soon after the release that the self-inflicted pain brings me are the feelings of shame & anger at myself that i went there again.....

< Message edited by lilsubl -- 1/30/2007 2:47:56 PM >

_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife

it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to Rafters)

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