RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 4:46:38 AM

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline

I'm surprised that no one suggested the rules might have been unrealistic, or that the Dom failed to please his partner, and she was left to pleasure herself. I would never attempt to control someone by controlling their orgasms... that's minor league Domination in my mind. I allow my slave to masterbate to orgasm as often as she wants to because I've learned that when I want to be pleased, she is focused on pleasing me and not on her own pleasure. My slave get's spanked every night before bed, and usually climaxes before I'm done making her bottom red... then it's my turn to be pleased... mmmmm good! It only took me 30 years to learn that so there's hope for everyone.

Life's a bowl of pits... you make it cherries!

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 4:50:40 AM

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

Even in the example you set you are still responsible for your actions. If you go to work, it is a choice *you* consciously and deliberately made. How dedicated are you? Dedicated enough that you will follow through on your instruction no matter what? The ball is entirely in your court. Do you explain to your Dom that the instruction is impractical because of a), b) and c) and work through a negotiated settlement, or do you just intentionally disobey?

Your actions are always, without fail, your responsibility.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to Squeakers)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 6:34:46 AM

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Frankly, some of this advice shocks me!!! "Throw the bitch out because she didn't obey?" What the hell sort of dominance is that? What that says in essence is "I can only be "dominant" if she obeys effortlessly"!

To ME, being dominant means I slowly train/bend someone to my will. I WORK with them, TRAIN them to obey, I don't get to hand them a script and consider my work done, lay back and get blown all day. Do you guys think lion tamers shoot any lion that doesn't act like an insipid puppy? No, they crack that whip over and over again until that fucking lion OBEYS. It doesn't happen overnight, it doesn't happen easily, it takes WORK to bend someone to your will and it takes work to keep them trained.

Not only that, for all the holier than thou people who love bitching about how shallow vanilla is, at least they have the balls to sit down and try and work on relationships and make them better. Great relationships take work to get right and then they take maintenance to KEEP right.

(in reply to SirKenin)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 7:15:27 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Michael- it depends on the situation. If a person is really just not getting with the program, willfully disobeying for months and hiding it and not feeling like things are going well, there is a perfectly legitimate point to saying "Fuck that, let's just end it, I don't need that drama."

There are a lot of women (and men, but mostly women), who are so trapped in their drama creating ways that they simply cannot comprehend settling down and really making a serious go of it. Now, one would hope the dom would be smart enough to see this early on, and often there is a path of destruction trailing behind them which makes an easy warning sign...but these women often attract to the white-knight-types and can make themselves appear very vulnerable. In fact they may sincerely believe they want and are ready for a secure relationship.

Give it enough time, all the old crap comes out again.

So I can see where that perspective is coming from. However, yours is completely accurate in that a lot of doms are more than willing to just toss a good person out because they themselves are incapable of putting the work in.

My guess is in this situation that BOTH people involved have serious relationship flaws working against them.

In this particular situation however, the marriage and the baby completely change the spectrum, as well, the intial piece of information that they both currently have already decided they WANT to make a go at the relationship. This makes giving the advice of "Just end it" no longer relevant or useful.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 7:28:30 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Maybe they should forget about Master slave and work on husband wife and Mommy daddy for not and fuck a new slave I think the Master needs to get his head out of his ass about that one.. talk about wonderfull timeing.... Hmm my wife is pregnent lets seem about bringing another into the relationship.. that would go over real well with me!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Squeakers)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 7:54:17 AM

obey1

Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: destinykitty

Little details I forgot to mention.

They are not just Master and slave but are also husband and wife and are expecting their first child later this year.

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaels4evr

she's pregnant? give her a break i say..hormones do crazy things...

honestly i'd say the D/s is null and void for now..

I would have to agree here. If she has never been pregnant before within the D/s dynamic she cannot be judged. She is probably horny out of her mind which she cannot help, he admitted that it is partially His fault, and now has come clean that he has been 'considering' adding a third into the mix. That shows some big misunderstanding and selfishness on his part. She got pregnant and now he probably has ignored her through fear of hurting the fetus through hard play or her 'screams' or turn-off of having the imminent responsibility come in the form of a 'third' already that will prevent 'Him' the nookie he wants when the baby tires them both out at all hours of the night and the play dynamic may get lost.

They are both in for some big changes in their lives and He has made a poor attempt at a substitution in the midst of her hormone rage.

He is probably more at fault than she is. If she is a slave, she is working off 'slave instinct' of which hormones play a big part. Endorphins are released during punishment/play and endorphins are released when she pleasures herself. If he has stopped the dynamic already out of protection of the child, where does her energy go?

If He has been ignoring her and desiring a third to enter during that time due to this pregnancy then leniency is the way to go, and I would say dissolve that dynamic until she has recovered from the pregnancy and can incorporate taking care of a child into the 'play' dynamic.

But her FIRST pregnancy? Give her a break. C'mon girls, give up the goods on what that is like.

< Message edited by obey1 -- 2/7/2007 7:57:03 AM >

(in reply to destinykitty)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 8:12:02 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

I agree MagiksSlave. When women are pregnant, they are often insecure about their bodies. Polygamy is fine as long as it is discussed BEFORE a commitment is made and BOTH parties agree to it. In this situation, even if they discussed poly before the marriage, it was extremely insensitive of the dom to bring subject up again during a pregnancy. If the wife (slave or not) entered the marriage intending for it to be monogamous, then he deserves to be taken to the cleaners. Either way, the dom is the one who deserves punishment, not the slave.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 8:12:25 AM

obey1

Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

How is her decision to repeatedly break rules even partially his fault, exactly?

~stef

Wanted to reply directly to this one as well. He is supposedly in control. She is now pregnant, the belly growing, the child is within. He has obviously retreated during this process in consideration of fatherhood and in fear that any type of D/s play would harm the fetus/child. Her breasts will soon give milk and the psychological 'torture' that she would normally go through is not healthy to pass on those types of hormones through the bloodstream into the child. An unborn child senses what the mother is going through. Supposedly they can hear music, noises, you can talk to them, etc.

I mean would you take a flogger to your pregnant wife? I for one would not. She has made her choice but how can you approve of the D/s 'dynamic' (and all that it entails) being passed to the child's psyche through screams of 'play' (which the child would not be able to distinguish, they would just feel the pain endorphins after the screams).

So here is a vessel, who not only a slave, she is a woman, and soon to be mother. Are you going to inadvertently damage the child or damage her breasts, and/or fuck up your first child for life? Yeah, go ahead, turn your unborn child into a pain slut and when you are in the hospital for the 5th time in 6 months because the child likes to cause himself pain, maybe you might reconsider.

It is his fault entirely by retreating and racing to add a third into the relationship when she already has a third on the way that he is trying to protect but he wants his rocks off too and believes that soon there will be a brat to take care of at all hours of the night and day.

She is perfectly healthy but is experiencing HIS GUILT through projection. She has become His emotions on the subject. She is the siren, calling out an obvious breech in the dynamic and He is not mature enough to handle a pregnant wife within the D/s dynamic.

It is almost entirely His fault.

(in reply to stef)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 8:33:07 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

Kudos to all the doms on here who don't have that "The master is always right, the slave is always wrong" attitude.

(in reply to obey1)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 8:52:35 AM

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

OMFG!
WTF!
Does this man have no sense at all? She is pregnant and he brings up getting another slave? There are more than enough emotional issues when one is pregnant to cause ripples in many new marrianges, but to mention wanting another woman? SH*T.
Hell, I changed my mind someone does need punishment, and it is not her.
I want to slap him myself.
*shaking head*
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: destinykitty

Little details I forgot to mention.

They are not just Master and slave but are also husband and wife and are expecting their first child later this year.

One thing that has come up from their conversation is that a lot it came from him wanting to take on another slave and her reaction instead of telling him of her fears and worries about that was he doesn't need me anymore

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to destinykitty)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 8:57:53 AM

Aubre

Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline

If she's expecting they need to reevaluate their needs and priorities with the child's welfare as the primary concern.

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:08:20 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

I agree. But I still think she should put a locking chastity device on him first and kick him out until he's ready to apologize.

(in reply to Aubre)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:16:17 AM

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Okay, so he's given her a list of rules and paid no attention to whether or not she's obeyed any of them. She practically had to hit him over the head to get him to discover this. Are you sure he's a dom?

Sounds like he's not been actively dominating her for a while so she started deliberately breaking rules to see if he would notice. He didn't.

Apparently her idea of a dom is more than fetch me a beer and give me a blow job, but that what she needs is a lot more active participation than he's interested in. They need a lot more communication about what she needs, what he needs and whether or not there is any room for compromise.

One thing I will say is that once the preliminary training period is over, the heavy attention that the dom had been paying to the sub gets withdrawn and the sub goes into withdrawal. It's a paradox, when you still need training you get what you need. Once you presumably know how to please him you get the dubious reward of having your needs no longer met. In some ways, the dom is almost a liar by totally changing the rules of the relationship without telling her ahead of time that this would change.

Punishment isn't what's called for here unless it's a severe cp for the purpose of bringing about tears to relieve her guilt. Basically they need to talk about what they need and how often. And she needs to be able to tell him when she needs play and he hasn't initiated it in a month. Set up regular date nights when they go out and hold hands and talk one night a week and pick another night to be play night. Plus he ought to be pinching her when he walks by, pulling her hair for a quick kiss, just inserting reminders of the connection whenever possible.

Edited to add, just saw the fact that she's pregnant. His response to her being heavy and feeling unattractive is to say to her that he finds her so repellant he's going to start screwing someone who still looks hot. Hell, she ought to kill him and pocket the insurance money! Sorry but doing this to a pregnant woman is unforgiveable.

Besides even if they were planning on bringing in a third, this other slave won't be the third, she'll be fourth. The baby is third in the relationship. I'm sorry but he sounds like a moron. Buy him a copy of What to Expect and underline all the parts he should have read first thing.

< Message edited by Celeste43 -- 2/7/2007 9:31:06 AM >

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:18:50 AM

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

Maybe just MAYBE, she is breaking the rules for the attetion...

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to Celeste43)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:30:55 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I should have been *thrown out* years ago.... if I judged my relationship and myself by some of the CM posts.

I keep on keeping on, am inspired to give my best and to FIND my best, because my *failures* are viewed against the backdrop of the standards that are expected, and how much effort I put in.

Looked at close to, I fail with alarming regularity........ stand back and see where I've come from and it's quite an amazing sight.

I've been *worked WITH*, trained, conditioned in ways that work.....that means a lot of close attention to detail and interest.

If I *broke every rule for three months* and he hadn't noticed a THING until coming across it in a journal....I am pretty sure he'd wonder about everything, including me, his methods, attention and the situation. Why that's viewed as a weakness somehow, I can't fathom.

Being pregnant, let alone with your first child, can be a time of worry, insecurity and often irrational fears...for yourself, your child and your life ahead.

Anyhow........back to the kitchen, barefoot and chained.

agirl

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:32:41 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: obey1

Wanted to reply directly to this one as well. He is supposedly in control. She is now pregnant, the belly growing, the child is within. He has obviously retreated during this process in consideration of fatherhood and in fear that any type of D/s play would harm the fetus/child. Her breasts will soon give milk and the psychological 'torture' that she would normally go through is not healthy to pass on those types of hormones through the bloodstream into the child. An unborn child senses what the mother is going through. Supposedly they can hear music, noises, you can talk to them, etc.

I mean would you take a flogger to your pregnant wife? I for one would not. She has made her choice but how can you approve of the D/s 'dynamic' (and all that it entails) being passed to the child's psyche through screams of 'play' (which the child would not be able to distinguish, they would just feel the pain endorphins after the screams).

So here is a vessel, who not only a slave, she is a woman, and soon to be mother. Are you going to inadvertently damage the child or damage her breasts, and/or fuck up your first child for life? Yeah, go ahead, turn your unborn child into a pain slut and when you are in the hospital for the 5th time in 6 months because the child likes to cause himself pain, maybe you might reconsider.

It is his fault entirely by retreating and racing to add a third into the relationship when she already has a third on the way that he is trying to protect but he wants his rocks off too and believes that soon there will be a brat to take care of at all hours of the night and day.

She is perfectly healthy but is experiencing HIS GUILT through projection. She has become His emotions on the subject. She is the siren, calling out an obvious breech in the dynamic and He is not mature enough to handle a pregnant wife within the D/s dynamic.

It is almost entirely His fault.

Umm, wow.

That's all wonderfully touchy-feely and makes me want to go buy some incense and crystals and the entire Windam Hill collection, but doesn't really have a goddamn thing to do with her decision to play with herself and orgasm without permission.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to obey1)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:37:49 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

Are you saying the REASON she did this should be overlooked? How would you feel if you were pregnant and your dom did this to you?

(in reply to stef)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:41:43 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I would release a slave who broke every rule of mine. can't behave can't be my slave.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:47:50 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

So she has no right to be upset with her husband/dom for getting her pregnant, then wanting another simply because her body has changed shape due to her carrying his child? The sad thing is, it seems she did it to gain attention rather than to give him a much deserved punishment. Dom or not, he crossed the line.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 9:54:23 AM

kate

Posts: 177
Joined: 1/10/2004
Status: offline

from what i can tell....she did not have enough respect for Him to obey his rules...and she did not should be made to live with her guilt.....BUT if what He was asking of her was more than she could do she should have said so..... it sounds to me like he expected more than she sould give so she pretty much gave nothing....... i strongly agree that they need to take a step back.... He needs to find out if she truley wants to make the effort to do what he asks and she needs to learn a little self controll!
a chastity belt is a good idea in this situation, i think... but it will only work if her guilt and shame at having to wear it arn't shadowed by her physical need....... on a side note *hope nobody yells at me for this* if her physical needs were being met then she probabaly woulden't have been touching herself *hides behind something big*

(in reply to Squeakers)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.086