RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule?

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RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 11:51:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
The point I'm trying to make is this guy is way out of line. Unless he changes his attitude, his child will learn it's ok for a husband to turn to another after getting his wife pregnant. Just like many boys who grow up around non-consentual domestic violence end up abusing their own wives.

OK Defiant, we agree, the father here was out of line in trying to bring up poly when a new baby is on the way.

That in NO WAY excuses the mother from lying, breaking rules, and hiding things from the father.

How often have I heard you rail against all these male doms trying to cheat and lie to their wives and be with others? How often would they try and justify and make excuses for it? Yet here it sounds like you're saying it's perfectly fine for this woman to lie and completely break the agreements she made with her husband?

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RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 11:54:13 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Even if she knew at the time she became pregnant that he wanted another at some point, during her pregnancy was not the time to bring it up.I still say he needs to be kicked out for a short time while wearing a locking male chastity device. This dom crossed the line and needs a reality check before he becomes a father. What kind of example will he be setting for his child?

I advocate they both get thrown to the gutter wearing chastity devices. It's much better that people escalate difficult and emotional circumstances with extreme actions to better serve their unborn offspring.......LOL

agirl

The point I'm trying to make is this guy is way out of line. Unless he changes his attitude, his child will learn it's ok for a husband to turn to another after getting his wife pregnant. Just like many boys who grow up around non-consentual domestic violence end up abusing their own wives.

And the point I'm making is that you are making judgements and suppositions FAR beyond anything sensible.

You're already an expert on *his* attitude, based on a GERM of information, and practically planned the doom of *his* unborn (male?) child....after having *got* his wife pregnant( while she wasn't looking?)

Coo, lawks amercy,

agirl

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 12:04:09 PM

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I wasn't in any way trying to imply that the child she is pregnant with is male. I used the example to make a point. Often children grow up and treat their own spouses the way their parents treat each other.

(in reply to agirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 12:19:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
The point I'm trying to make is this guy is way out of line. Unless he changes his attitude, his child will learn it's ok for a husband to turn to another after getting his wife pregnant. Just like many boys who grow up around non-consentual domestic violence end up abusing their own wives.

OK Defiant, we agree, the father here was out of line in trying to bring up poly when a new baby is on the way.

That in NO WAY excuses the mother from lying, breaking rules, and hiding things from the father.

How often have I heard you rail against all these male doms trying to cheat and lie to their wives and be with others? How often would they try and justify and make excuses for it? Yet here it sounds like you're saying it's perfectly fine for this woman to lie and completely break the agreements she made with her husband?

I see her actions as a reaction to his cruelty and insensitivity. Her fear of losing him and ending up a single mother interfered with her reacting the way she should have. Her resentment coupled with the fact that she's a slave probably caused her to supress her feelings, which had to come out in some way. For every action, there is a reaction. I would rally for the man if the situation were reversed and involved a domme and male slave.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 12:23:03 PM

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Slightly off topic, but on point to where this discussion has gone, why do some consider the hormonal changes that occur with pregnancy or having a period a valid reason to suddenly stop being obedient or submissive. i have actually heard people say, well one can't expect a submissive to be submissive all month long, which to me is a bunch of crap.

Similarly, the fact that the person the OP is talking about is pregnant is not an excuse for disobedience. Yes none of us know the whole story, however instead of allowing any insecurity that might have arisen from being pregnant and her Master/husband looking for another to be an impetus for some very needed conversations, she "apparently" used it as an "reason" that she didn't have to be obedient, which again to me is crap.

When a person gives their word, whether it is to obey or whatever, other peoples' behavior is not a valid excuse for breaking one's word, at least in my opinion. And to place all the blame on Him, whether He is in charge of the relationship or not, does not negate a person's responsiblity to be honest and abide by their commitments.

heartfelt

*Editted for a typo

< Message edited by heartfeltsub -- 2/7/2007 12:24:20 PM >

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 12:29:53 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

The point I'm trying to make is this guy is way out of line. Unless he changes his attitude, his child will learn it's ok for a husband to turn to another after getting his wife pregnant.

You must be reading posts I have missed because nowhere in destinykitty's posts did she state that the woman got pregnant then the husband decided to bring an additional person into the relationship. That might very well have been what happened but until dk clarifies that point, you shouldn't automatically assume that's what occured simply because it validates your transparent desire to despise this guy.

Castigate the man based on the FACTS, if you must, not what you think might have happened and stop projecting your obvious issues with men into every situation on which you comment.

~stef

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(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 12:31:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
I see her actions as a reaction to his cruelty and insensitivity. Her fear of losing him and ending up a single mother interfered with her reacting the way she should have. Her resentment coupled with the fact that she's a slave probably caused her to supress her feelings, which had to come out in some way. For every action, there is a reaction. I would rally for the man if the situation were reversed and involved a domme and male slave.

But not a male dominant? Somehow they can't be excused for their lies and wrongs, but everyone else can?

You're basically saying the woman here should not be held responsible for her actions, that her lies are justified and that her breaking her agreements is completely acceptable.

I'm not sure that any of the husbands behavior somehow prevented her from dealing with this directly and honestly like a mature person?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 12:33:33 PM

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Depends on whether or not they married with both knowing and agreeing it might involve another at some point. If not, then he is breaking his word in a far worse way. I'm still waiting to find out whether or not she entered the marriage knowing it would become poly.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 12:47:41 PM

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That depends on whether or not she entered the marriage knowing it might involve a third........which would determine whether or not he broke his word.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 12:56:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Depends on whether or not they married with both knowing and agreeing it might involve another at some point. If not, then he is breaking his word in a far worse way. I'm still waiting to find out whether or not she entered the marriage knowing it would become poly.

The fact that someone may have broken his or her word to me, is NOT cause for me to break my word. my honor and integrity is based on my sense of right and wrong and not on how another has treated me.

i also think i would have to agree with stef on her assessment. Based on your experiences, you come across as prejudging all men in a negative light. That is something that you might want to deal as it must adversely affect any relationship that you try to have with a male Dom.

heartfelt

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 1:08:21 PM

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When I read of this situation, I visualize a man trying to juggle a marriage, a D/s relationship, a new child, a new sub, and presumably a job. If this were the old vaudeville acts, and these were plates instead of relationships, I am betting the crash would be loud and spectacular.

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A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

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RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 1:35:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Depends on whether or not they married with both knowing and agreeing it might involve another at some point. If not, then he is breaking his word in a far worse way. I'm still waiting to find out whether or not she entered the marriage knowing it would become poly.

The fact that someone may have broken his or her word to me, is NOT cause for me to break my word. my honor and integrity is based on my sense of right and wrong and not on how another has treated me.
I agree that she handled the situation the wrong way. If I was in her situation, my "husband" wouldn't be able to leave the house without me worrying unless he was wearing a locking chastity device.

i also think i would have to agree with stef on her assessment. Based on your experiences, you come across as prejudging all men in a negative light. That is something that you might want to deal as it must adversely affect any relationship that you try to have with a male Dom.
I freely admit I've had horrible experiences with men. One abused me non-consentually, one said I wasn't what he was looking for after five years, another played me for a year, and two went back to their ex-wives (yes, they had both been divorced for several years). However, not once have I punished an innocent man for another's deeds. Therefore, my past experiences do not affect new relationships.

heartfelt

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 1:37:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

When I read of this situation, I visualize a man trying to juggle a marriage, a D/s relationship, a new child, a new sub, and presumably a job. If this were the old vaudeville acts, and these were plates instead of relationships, I am betting the crash would be loud and spectacular.

Yup.. and I wouldnt want to be the one to have to clean up all dem sharp broken peases

Magik's slave

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don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

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(in reply to nyrisa)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 1:50:55 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I agree that she handled the situation the wrong way. If I was in her situation, my "husband" wouldn't be able to leave the house without me worrying unless he was wearing a locking chastity device.

You've got chastity on the brain. Locking up this guys cock does nothing to solve their poblems and only satisfies your need to punish this guy.

quote:

I freely admit I've had horrible experiences with men. One abused me non-consentually, one said I wasn't what he was looking for after five years, another played me for a year, and two went back to their ex-wives (yes, they had both been divorced for several years). However, not once have I punished an innocent man for another's deeds. Therefore, my past experiences do not affect new relationships.

I sincerely doubt that. You've got more baggage then Samsonite. Wasn't it you that proclaimed any man who slaps a woman in the face is automatically an abuser? How many other blanket statements about men like that have you tossed out there? I pity any man who gets involved with you who is unaware of the minefield he's walking into.

~stef

<edited to fix typo>

< Message edited by stef -- 2/7/2007 1:51:56 PM >

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(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 1:58:28 PM

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When a new relationship begins, I trust the man I'm with until he gives me a reason not to.While my past may dictate some of my hard limits, that doesn't mean I'm going to treat a man badly because of another's mistakes. Judging by my past experiences, shouldn't I hate all women too? Why then do I stick up for them?

(in reply to stef)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 1:59:54 PM

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After rereading every post on this thread, i don't see anywhere where it is stated that the slave's Master/Husband has been unfaithful to her. The fact that He wished to explore poly, does not mean that He was having sex with every woman who crosses his path. As you keep harping on this point of him in a chastity belt, please show me where the kind of behavior you are attributing to this man is stated.

heartfelt

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 2:02:19 PM

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Very apt nyrisa. Who knows if D/s was even part of their marriage, when they exchanged vows anyway. I just think they need to focus on their marital problems, which it appears that they have those in addition to BDSM thrown in. Gosh, that baby regardless of gender is going to be the little Dom/Domme in that household for a little while..lol.

But yes they also need to address the problems they are having as Master and slave, before even thinking about bringing another person into the mix. And if they don't work this out, yes everything will come crashing down around their heads.

(in reply to nyrisa)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 2:07:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

When a new relationship begins, I trust the man I'm with until he gives me a reason not to.While my past may dictate some of my hard limits, that doesn't mean I'm going to treat a man badly because of another's mistakes. Judging by my past experiences, shouldn't I hate all women too? Why then do I stick up for them?

*Bolding added by me for emphasis purposes.

Although this was not addressed to me, i wanted to comment on this post. What tends to happen when we have been hurt in the past, whether by women or men, is that we see things that don't really exist, judging the situation by facts not in evidence and hear things said in manners that they were not at all intended. That is the baggage that i believe stef was speaking of. It is often something that we are not aware we are even doing until some one who can look at the situation objectively and can see things without the haze of our experiences points it out to us. Just something to consider.

heartfelt

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 2:15:57 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

When a new relationship begins, I trust the man I'm with until he gives me a reason not to.While my past may dictate some of my hard limits, that doesn't mean I'm going to treat a man badly because of another's mistakes.

You're certainly treating this poor guy badly based upon incredibly sparse second-hand information and filling in the gaps with whatever it takes to justify your feelings. Why would I assume that you would treat other men in any different fashion?

quote:

Judging by my past experiences, shouldn't I hate all women too? Why then do I stick up for them?

Rooting for the home team? I don't know. I guess that makes as much sense as why you do anything you do here. Unlike you, I have no psychic powers and can only act on what people actually tell me about a given situation. Given that, since I have no knowledge of your problems with other women, I can't even begin to hypothesize on that front.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? - 2/7/2007 2:23:55 PM

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You have a point. I probably am unintentionally biased on some things. Everyone is influenced by their past. I just wanted to point out that I never punish a new man for the actions of another. Most of the men I've been with have very few complaints about me. In fact, they seem to think I treated them very well. If anything, I keep getting screwed over because I'm too nice.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

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