RE: Safe word - With a ball gag??

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RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 3/14/2005 4:52:38 AM

ProtagonistLily

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quote:

This sounds weird I know but as newbies, my partner and I are wondering: How does someone use a safe word if she (or he) has a ball gag in place???

M

Ball gags are my favorites. I know a lot of submissives who don't like them because of the drool factor, but I've always had a thing for them. As the object of the ballgag is silence, it obviously makes articulating an actual safe word more difficult.

Trusting the person you are playing with is key. We can all walk around beating our chests and strutting our respective stuff, touting ourselves extream masochists and sadists, but when the rubber hits the road, in my experience, even the most sadistic Tops will go with safety first.

NOTE: I am NOT advocating in any way, shape or form the absence of safewords in what I'm about to say next.

I played with a particular Top for years, and even though we had a safe word between us, he liked to ball gag me and that makes using a word difficult. There was only one time I needed to stop a scene (welsh pony whips are not for me) and there was no question about the reaction I had, the look in my eye and the facial expression that I was safe wording. The Top I was playing with had the sense enough to know I was done and not push me.

It's my opinion that in a situation where the bottom is limited by a gag that the Top needs to be a little extra aware of the situation and be ready for a non-verbal safe word in the event it needs to be used.

Lily

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(in reply to socalguy91387)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 3/14/2005 7:27:32 AM

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I prefer tying a small bell onto their finger, so it can't be dropped and it's easy to hear when something is very wrong and not just a shake. There's also hand squeezes to check in or blinking if they aren't blindfolded.

Remember what safe signals can and can't do.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 3/14/2005 8:12:44 AM

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quote:

I know a lot of submissives who don't like them because of the drool factor, but I've always had a thing for them.

ooooo... but thats one of the bests reasons for one!

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 3/14/2005 4:47:05 PM

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

There are also whiffle ball gags (made from whiffle golf balls.) They sell them, but considering it would probably cost you $3 to make 6 of them... buying them seems a bit outrageous. (You can get the balls at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000AU463/002-2675046-5004034?v=glance for $1.79, pk of 6 if you don't have a local store that carries them.)

LOL, I found this link on how to make whiffle ball gags today while websurfing.. Just had to come back and share it with you. http://www.netcomuk.co.uk/~tigerz/bdsm/ballgag.html

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Beach Mystress
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RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 3/14/2005 5:38:19 PM

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A set of keys makes an excellent safeword in this situation.

The keys can be (and most likely will be!) gripped tightly in the subs fist eliminating "accidental" noise from them, yet they make a distinctive sound when dropped. Also, a keyring can slip over a finger so it isn't accidentally dropped as a sub heads into "space".

One other nice thing is... if you live in an apartment with neighbors in easy earshot... the dropping of keys is very vanilla... whereas the incessant ringing of a bell draws attention. ;)

DK

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 4/6/2005 8:43:06 AM

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I have used a bell for this purpose....although as a Domme...I ordinarily don't use gags....I like the verbal feedback...and the ability to tell the nice sub that I want absolute silence.

When being my lovely submissive self, i have a bell....i cant find it right now...but it used to be in my bag...its abotu 2 inches big and i bought it when i went through my crafting stage a million yeaqrs ago.... but it that sucker hits the floor....or if i ring shake it....it can be heard without a problem... and honestly if i drop it by mistake shame on me for stopping omesthign soooo good!

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people will forget what you said
they will forgive what you did
but they will never forget the way you made them feel

(in reply to OrientalMistress)

RE: ball gag?? - 4/6/2005 12:28:28 PM

unbrokenhouseboy

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Joined: 3/23/2005
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okay, i plead direct ignorance, haven't been there or done that. never been in bondage or played with yet. and as to ball gags,?
since i have full dentures?...how is this going to work if i ever get anyone to play with me?...
do i have them just get a bigger ball since normally i am guessing, these are meant to stay in by using teeth?

or how is it?

thank you

houseboy..unowned as yet.

(in reply to socalguy91387)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 4/6/2005 1:17:18 PM

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Because of my experience in fighting I generally "tap out" even if I am not gagged and encourage my partner to do the same. It's a tap done using either the hand or foot and it's two or more brisk taps.
Anyone who has ever seen holds and submission techniques (as in martial arts) demonstrated has seen/heard these taps. They are used to indicate that the individual being demonstrated on has reached their maximum pain tolerance and is indicating the demonstrator to stop the technique.
This is useful because you can tap on something or someone.
It's also very useful if you are forgetful (like me) and can never remember what my safeword is.

(in reply to socalguy91387)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 4/12/2005 11:35:40 AM

Alida

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Joined: 4/7/2005
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We tap out too. As long as there is *something* to tap, either each other, or the headboard/bedside. Double grunts are good as well.

I've never had an issue 'communicating' around a ball gag (not words, of course!). Are we doing them wrong? I read somewhere that no gag cuts all sounds, and as I said, double grunts work for us as well.

Not that all of these suggestions are not WONDERFUL!

Alida

(in reply to siamsa24)

RE: ball gag?? - 4/12/2005 11:36:48 AM

Alida

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Do a quick search in a catalog of your choice--- they are strapped in.

I don't know how comfy they would be with dentures, but you do not need to 'hold' it.

(in reply to unbrokenhouseboy)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 4/30/2005 11:10:09 PM

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Ok I am sre I am going to come across as a total asshole here, but if as a dominant you cannot read your sub's body, you can fill in the blank here.

Give your sub a massage and learn.

I am quite sure I have broken this rule myself but I have given 10 massages to whippings and I have whipped well over a thousand women.

It is this simple for me.

IF YOUR SUB NEEDS TO USE A SAFE WORD OR HAND GESTURE, YOU ARE NOT PAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION AND YOU LACK EXPERIENCE.

There are no if ands or buts on this.

Zip

< Message edited by dragonofjapan -- 4/30/2005 11:11:14 PM >

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She who serves truly rules

Life is not measured by the breaths we take,
but by the things which take our breath away

Honor is not making good choices,
it is dealing with the consequences.

(in reply to OrientalMistress)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 5/1/2005 12:45:06 PM

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Putting it all in caps doesn't make it so. Suppose you suspend someone and after a while she gets a cramp. So she lets you know. Does that mean you aren't paying attention or lack experience?

quote:

ORIGINAL: dragonofjapan

IF YOUR SUB NEEDS TO USE A SAFE WORD OR HAND GESTURE, YOU ARE NOT PAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION AND YOU LACK EXPERIENCE.

(in reply to dragonofjapan)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 5/18/2005 1:03:47 AM

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This has been stated...but not quite so clearly. I personally get a bit alarmed at the thought of "newbies" using a gag. IMHO they should be reserved for partners who are familiar with each other, and have a good idea of limits and tolerances already. Not that this will eliminate the need for a safe signal in this case, but it will reduce the potential need for them.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 5/18/2005 7:13:19 AM

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Our answer to this problem is a set of keys - visual, audible, and if a large ring with keys on it is placed around the finger of whoever is tied and gagged, they aren't going to drop them accidentally and it won't get stuck if they need to drop it (although the flailing attempts to drop it should make more than enough noise as well).

(in reply to OrientalMistress)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 5/18/2005 10:20:38 AM

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Joined: 1/30/2005
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as far as giving a conscious signal, i have been told to use the red yellow green. three fingers for red, two for yellow, and one for green. putting the hands into that postion does not often happen by accident, or while thrashing around.

for a safety signal, like if the sub is in trouble (i am diabetic, and could pass out if not watched carefully.... hasn't happened yet, though.) the bells are something i have read about. the suggestion i saw was to have a small string of bells lightly tied to a finger, and then grasped. if the sub is in danger or loses consciousness, the bells will drop. if the sub is flying, and accidentally drops the bells, they can be gathered back up pretty quickly with a simple check on the Dom's part, without having to stop everything cold. i have not been in a situation to try that, though.

good luck!

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to socalguy91387)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 5/19/2005 8:12:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

There are a couple of gags available that allow breathing. There are ring gags, open mouth gags, plus all the dental and medical ones. One note. I've been told that the bit gags are as breathing restricted as ball gags. They look like they'd be a bit better to me, but I was told no.

http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/st625.html
http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/du615.html
http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/de615.html
http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/st640.html (breathing hole)
http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/bi510.html

There are also whiffle ball gags (made from whiffle golf balls.) They sell them, but considering it would probably cost you $3 to make 6 of them... buying them seems a bit outrageous. (You can get the balls at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000AU463/002-2675046-5004034?v=glance for $1.79, pk of 6 if you don't have a local store that carries them.)

Oh yes, by the way, drool happens, especially with open mouth gags.

So would bit gags be a "bit" better? (LOL) Yes the pun here is intended, though I would assume no pun was initially intended...LOL

X

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 5/20/2005 12:39:51 AM

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My Master uses finger snapping as the safe word/action while having a gag in place. i do not wear gags at the moment so i am not too sure as to how well that works or not, but i
will find out soon as my braces come off or when Master gets a bit gag.

(in reply to SenorX)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 5/27/2005 12:50:56 PM

masterforyorlove

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My last sub was in heaven when I ball-gagged her and the moaning pattern worked perfectly when she wanted to quit. She would moan 3 times, stop, then 3 times again. Since sound travels out the nose too, you will always here her if you are in the room. That told me she had had enough. Of course, you can always use the nod if her head is not immobile.

(in reply to socalguy91387)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 7/1/2005 8:17:55 PM

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I use a small electronic "deadman's" switch in my hand if I am tied or in the hand of a sub if she is tied. If the button is released, that thing goes off, everything stops and the EMT shears come off the night stand. My experience is that it will not be let go in the heat of passion. It is very audible, unmistakable and my newer version has flashing high brightness LEDS in it too. A small tether secures it to any sized wrist just in case. I have at least 3 of them.

I also agree with watching you partner. Eyes say everything from "I love you" to "get me the fuck out of this" (never happened yet). Also talk to you partner, ask if they want more, or if they want less. If I have a woman tied to the bed chances are I have spent a lot and I mean a lot of time with her before hand, and this is just one more step in communication between partners that must be undertaken for a successful relationship.

And gagged or not, one should be able to tell if the noises coming from a subbie are pleasure or pain (wanting out).

< Message edited by dominmd -- 7/1/2005 8:19:43 PM >

(in reply to masterforyorlove)

RE: Safe word - With a ball gag?? - 7/8/2005 4:20:17 AM

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I agree that gags used when the parties don't know each other well is risky it will still be done. As a pro (I'm new here and I want to make it clear that I'm not on this site looking for clients. I have an ad that I pay for that works out for me just fine. I'm hoping to meet someone for a relationship because in order to be a good pro you have to let them have it their way and you are really bottoming from the top and that becomes difficult if I don't have a good balance in my life.) you will occasionally run into a client that wants to be totally bound and gagged. Our safe word solution was to have him hum "Happy Birthday" for yellow and the "Star Spangled Banner" for red. Cheesy yes, effective, very.

(in reply to dominmd)

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