RE: honesty about sexual orientation

RE: honesty about sexual orientation (Full Version)

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stef -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:23:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl The point is, when most people see the word straight, they think a person has only been involved with those of the opposite sex. If someone didn't know that "straight" male subs are sexual with men, they may not think to specifically ask. Some women don't like the idea of being with a man who has engaged in sexual acts with other men. What happens if she finds this out 2 years into the relationship and is totally grossed out by it? Then she would be as frighteningly closed minded as you are. Maybe she could help you carry all your baggage? ~stef

viperess -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:24:06 PM)
And we would so love the wonderful gift of firm, ripe bananas

FukinTroll -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:27:33 PM)
Ah ha! Bitterness cleverly disguised as bigotry! Man I didn't see that one coming. Hell I would pay twice the ticket price to watch this movie again.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:28:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl The point is, when most people see the word straight, they think a person has only been involved with those of the opposite sex. If someone didn't know that "straight" male subs are sexual with men, they may not think to specifically ask. Some women don't like the idea of being with a man who has engaged in sexual acts with other men. What happens if she finds this out 2 years into the relationship and is totally grossed out by it? Then she would be as frighteningly closed minded as you are. Maybe she could help you carry all your baggage? ~stef Being straight and wanting a partner who is straight does not make me closed minded. Are you saying anyone who is not bisexual is closed minded?

AquaticSub -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:30:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl I always thought straight men experimented on themselves with masturbation, not other men. My son's father was a natural dom, even though he didn't ever say he was into the lifestyle, he was always referring to himself as MasterSir then his name. He wouldn't even engage in anal sex with a woman because the whole idea of anything anal made him think about homosexuality. He was enraged over the fact that this man had married me saying he was straight. I am not the only one who feels this way. If a man can honestly swear he's straight when he's been with men, that would mean my husband did nothing wrong. Then he didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes a woman thinks "I might like to sex with a woman". So she has sex with a woman. And finds out she doesn't like it. Just like sometimes a woman thinks "I'd like to have butt sex" and discovers she hates it. Edited at add: He didn't do anything wrong if he indeed did try it and found he didn't like it. I mean, you act as if having a fantasy about the same sex makes you homosexual. I dream about men breaking into the house and raping me. That doesn't mean I'd like it real life. The same thing does apply to homosexuality. Just because you jerk off to it doesn't mean you really want to do it.

AquaticSub -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:31:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl The point is, when most people see the word straight, they think a person has only been involved with those of the opposite sex. If someone didn't know that "straight" male subs are sexual with men, they may not think to specifically ask. Some women don't like the idea of being with a man who has engaged in sexual acts with other men. What happens if she finds this out 2 years into the relationship and is totally grossed out by it? Then she cares more about past lovers then what kind of man he really is and doesn't deserve him. shrug It shouldn't matter as long as he's clean and being completely faithful to her.

kate -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:33:42 PM)
to the OP.... something to think about..... in the human sexuality classes at my universit we learn that sexuality is on a sliding scale.... stright people are let's just say..oh...les than 1% devient....where as someone who considers themself compleatly gay would be 99% or more...tbut MOST people fall inbetween someplace.... that does not make them bi.... no person can be 0% gay or 100%gay .... just as most bi people are not exactly 50%......people can be pretty damn need one end or the other.. but people can't tell the future so one can NEVER say that there is no chance they will be with a member of the same sex...... well.... i hope that this helps he see that a man she would be with has probabaly had at least one fleeting homosexal thaught at some point in his life or will at some point...even if it was not something he was planing on fallowing through on

hisannabelle -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:34:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl The point is, when most people see the word straight, they think a person has only been involved with those of the opposite sex. If someone didn't know that "straight" male subs are sexual with men, they may not think to specifically ask. Some women don't like the idea of being with a man who has engaged in sexual acts with other men. What happens if she finds this out 2 years into the relationship and is totally grossed out by it? Then she would be as frighteningly closed minded as you are. Maybe she could help you carry all your baggage? ~stef Being straight and wanting a partner who is straight does not make me closed minded. Are you saying anyone who is not bisexual is closed minded? no, anyone who has as narrow a definition of bisexuality as you do (or as wide, rather), and fails to see that it's pretty flawed in a lot of ways is closeminded - at least, i think that's what she was going for. i don't think your partner was in the wrong if you said from the get go that you would not like to be with a straight man who had ever at all had any sort of sexual encounter with another man, and he said he had, and you got involved anyway. now, if he did anything outside of the boundaries of your relationship while he was with you, then he's in the wrong, or if he lied about his sexual history, then he's in the wrong. but if he was honest when asked about his sexual history and he showed no bisexual tendencies while he was with you, then it seems to me that's just about all he could do. that said, it doesn't invalidate the fact that you seem to be taking out your frustration over the matter on any other straight man who's ever had any sort of sexual encounter with another man.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:35:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll Ah ha! Bitterness cleverly disguised as bigotry! Man I didn't see that one coming. Hell I would pay twice the ticket price to watch this movie again. Not wanting to be more than friends with someone with a bisexual past does not make me a bigot. If I hated anyone who wasn't straight, then I would be a bigot. I have friends who are openly bi. Notice I said openly.....that means they are honest about their sexual orientation.

freakgoddess -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:37:17 PM)
maybe he didn't do anything 'wrong'. maybe things aren't quite as rigid in real life as they are in your mind. your relationship with him didn't necessarily fail because of his evil hidden bisexuality. would you want people going around saying being married to you made him gay? there's any number of possible conclusions that could be drawn from what you've said here. these things are not always 100% clear cut. sometimes you meet someone at a time in their life when they don't realize they will one day want to pursue some previously unconscious inner desire. people aren't static. they change with time. if you're going to try to narrow down your consideration to only people who have NEVER had a bisexual thought or desire, you'll end up with the lying homophobes most likely. good luck with that.

hisannabelle -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:37:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll Ah ha! Bitterness cleverly disguised as bigotry! Man I didn't see that one coming. Hell I would pay twice the ticket price to watch this movie again. Not wanting to be more than friends with someone with a bisexual past does not make me a bigot. If I hated anyone who wasn't straight, then I would be a bigot. I have friends who are openly bi. Notice I said openly.....that means they are honest about their sexual orientation. as i mentioned before, the problem is, you are imposing YOUR definition of bisexuality on other people without considering how THEY (or the dictionary, or people who study this kind of stuff for a living) define it. you cannot fault them for not meeting your definition if you fail to get enough information to see if their definition fits yours beforehand. :)

juliaoceania -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:37:59 PM)
quote: I always thought straight men experimented on themselves with masturbation, not other men. I have heard things about before men can afford their own porn and home, masturbating with others before they go off to college (I do not want to mention anything against TOS), you know, sharing girlie mags and experimenting. It is not unusual. quote: My son's father was a natural dom, even though he didn't ever say he was into the lifestyle, he was always referring to himself as MasterSir then his name. He wouldn't even engage in anal sex with a woman because the whole idea of anything anal made him think about homosexuality. He was enraged over the fact that this man had married me saying he was straight. I am not the only one who feels this way. If a man can honestly swear he's straight when he's been with men, that would mean my husband did nothing wrong. You are scarred by what occurred in your life, but by focusing on it you deprive yourself of enjoying your life. I cannot imagine having that happen to me, but your attitude in life seems to attract this to you... I gave you this link a few weeks ago, I am going to try again, hopefully this time you will watch it. http://www.allabreve.org/thesecret.html

FukinTroll -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:38:33 PM)
Ha ha ha ha ha....... I can look at your 25 most recent posts and I promise they seethe with disgust. I am sure there is a whole shit load of hate there but you would like to retain some credibility in this community so you won't come and simply say: Once a cocksucker always a cocksucker!

kate -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:43:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll Ha ha ha ha ha....... I can look at your 25 most recent posts and I promise they seethe with disgust. I am sure there is a whole shit load of hate there but you would like to retain some credibility in this community so you won't come and simply say: Once a cocksucker always a cocksucker! bua ha hha...golden...just wonderful

sensualmagirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:43:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll Ah ha! Bitterness cleverly disguised as bigotry! Man I didn't see that one coming. Hell I would pay twice the ticket price to watch this movie again. ha ha ha... The OP may not have, but, I got it. I think I'm off to bed or at least another drama instead of this woman trying to find her justification that her ex-husband was wrong hidden behind her dislike for bisexual activities. Have fun... I gave my opinion... you don't want to be with someone who has been with a man, don't. Find out he is, leave. Move on, find others who have the same views as yourself.

AquaticSub -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:45:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Not wanting to be more than friends with someone with a bisexual past does not make me a bigot. If I hated anyone who wasn't straight, then I would be a bigot. I have friends who are openly bi. Notice I said openly.....that means they are honest about their sexual orientation. No but your attitudes make one wonder. The last time we talked about bisexuality you told a woman whose master was just thinking about men to get an AIDs test. Now you think anyone who has ever experimented with anyone of the same sex ever is bisexual. You think that if you are straight there is NO WAY you would EVER have sex with a person of the same gender. What we are trying to get you to see is that things aren't that black and white. Things don't fit into your convienent little boxes. I know plenty of racists who have black friends. Just because you are nice to bisexuals and homosexuals in public and are gracious enough to be friends with us doesn't mean shit. I had a friend in high school who thought I was going to hell for what I am. She was nice to me, we were friends. Still homophoic. Just quieter then most. Not sayin' you are. Just sayin' you might want to think about it. Edited because I'm not sure I had the right word.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:47:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl I always thought straight men experimented on themselves with masturbation, not other men. My son's father was a natural dom, even though he didn't ever say he was into the lifestyle, he was always referring to himself as MasterSir then his name. He wouldn't even engage in anal sex with a woman because the whole idea of anything anal made him think about homosexuality. He was enraged over the fact that this man had married me saying he was straight. I am not the only one who feels this way. If a man can honestly swear he's straight when he's been with men, that would mean my husband did nothing wrong. Then he didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes a woman thinks "I might like to sex with a woman". So she has sex with a woman. And finds out she doesn't like it. Just like sometimes a woman thinks "I'd like to have butt sex" and discovers she hates it. Oh, he did plenty wrong. He didn't just try it once. After we got married he rarely had sex with me and he didn't have any problems getting it up. All he wanted was cuddling, kissing, and bj's......refused to satisfy me at all. Later, I ran into his old "friend" who was openly gay. That's when I found out my suspicians were correct......they were alot more than just friends. And he too thought it was wrong for my husband to marry me under false pretenses. That's why my husband quit associating with him when he married me. He knew his old lover would tell me the truth.

FukinTroll -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:48:25 PM)
points directly at 63

hisannabelle -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:49:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl I always thought straight men experimented on themselves with masturbation, not other men. My son's father was a natural dom, even though he didn't ever say he was into the lifestyle, he was always referring to himself as MasterSir then his name. He wouldn't even engage in anal sex with a woman because the whole idea of anything anal made him think about homosexuality. He was enraged over the fact that this man had married me saying he was straight. I am not the only one who feels this way. If a man can honestly swear he's straight when he's been with men, that would mean my husband did nothing wrong. Then he didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes a woman thinks "I might like to sex with a woman". So she has sex with a woman. And finds out she doesn't like it. Just like sometimes a woman thinks "I'd like to have butt sex" and discovers she hates it. Oh, he did plenty wrong. He didn't just try it once. After we got married he rarely had sex with me and he didn't have any problems getting it up. All he wanted was cuddling, kissing, and bj's......refused to satisfy me at all. Later, I ran into his old "friend" who was openly gay. That's when I found out my suspicians were correct......they were alot more than just friends. And he too thought it was wrong for my husband to marry me under false pretenses. That's why my husband quit associating with him when he married me. He knew his old lover would tell me the truth. yeah, but that doesn't have shit to do with men who are honest and may have had sex with other men in the past, or would do it though they don't necessarily desire it, except in your insecure mind. just because your ex-husband was a lying asshole who HAPPENED to be bisexual doesn't mean all straight men who have had sexual encounters with other men are bisexual OR lying assholes. the big distinction between your situation and the one you described in the original post on this thread is that men who have sex with other men because they are told to don't DESIRE sex with other men or seek it out, and they certainly are not necessarily lying about it.

AquaticSub -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/18/2007 11:50:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Oh, he did plenty wrong. He didn't just try it once. After we got married he rarely had sex with me and he didn't have any problems getting it up. All he wanted was cuddling, kissing, and bj's......refused to satisfy me at all. Later, I ran into his old "friend" who was openly gay. That's when I found out my suspicians were correct......they were alot more than just friends. And he too thought it was wrong for my husband to marry me under false pretenses. That's why my husband quit associating with him when he married me. He knew his old lover would tell me the truth. So he cheated on you and was crappy in bed. That's wrong for cheating. Doesn't have anything to do with him being gay. Stop holding us responsible. That's like getting mad at pretty young girls because you got left for the newer model. I'm sorry it happened to you, I really am. But you've got issues that need to be worked through and trust me - your current viewpoints are going to exclude a lot of nice men who won't cheat on you. Surprise suprise - bisexuals actually give each other a LOT of shit for cheating. Why? Because people like you expect us to and we are sick of the reputation.

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