ADom442
Posts: 34
Joined: 11/17/2005 Status: offline
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I looked up the word "nice" (as in "a nice guy") on an etymology web site. What I found was interesting: "Nice - c.1290, "foolish, stupid, senseless," from O.Fr. nice "silly, foolish," from L. nescius "ignorant," lit. "not-knowing," from ne- "not" + stem of scire "to know." from "timid" (pre-1300); to "fussy, fastidious" (c.1380); to "dainty, delicate" (c.1405); to "precise, careful" (1500s, preserved in such terms as a nice distinction and nice and early); to "agreeable, delightful" (1769); to "kind, thoughtful" This aroused my curiosity, so I looked up "good," as in "a good man." Here's some of what I found: Good - from P.Gmc. *gothaz (cf. O.N. goðr, Du. goed, Ger. gut, Goth. goþs), originally "fit, adequate, belonging together," from PIE base *ghedh- "to unite, be associated, suitable" (cf. O.C.S. godu "pleasing time," Rus. godnyi "fit, suitable," O.E. gædrian "to gather, to take up together"). I think the roots of the words go a long way towards explaining the connotations these words have. Someone who's "nice" used to mean someone who was so foolish and ignorant that they would not be capable of stopping you from being able to get your way. They bore the burden of a submissiveness born of incompetence. Good? Fitting in; not rocking the boat. Someone who was "good" would not stop you from getting your way either because they would stifle their criticism of you for the sake of fitting in. What these words denote has changed over the years, and I think much of the reason for this is to encourage behaviors that allow some to get their way. "Come on, don't make a scene or start an argument; be nice; be good. Do as you're told." I don't think the only alternative to being "good" or "nice" is being an a$$hole, however. Another alternative is to be fair (sense of "free from bias" (c.1340) evolved from another early meaning, "morally pure, unblemished"), have integrity ("soundness, wholeness," from integer "whole" Sense of "uncorrupted virtue" is from 1548.), and want your submissive partner to live a satisfying life. (Satisfy - "do enough," [to be truly who they are.] )
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It is the business of the very few to be independent; it is a privilege of the strong. And whoever attempts it ... proves that he is probably not only strong, but also daring beyond measure. - Nietzsche
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