Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? Page: <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 4:55:27 AM   
Witchywoman0123


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline
*crawls back into her coffee cup and waves her hand imperiously*  Its too early for me to be here

(in reply to Witchywoman0123)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 7:01:23 AM   
willing2try1984


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline
no i don;t think you have to be old, i think that some women expect their dom to be rough around the edges, my last dom was a little rough, and my current daddy is sweet and nice and very personable. But he is rough and kinky when needed, which is just the way i like it...

(in reply to JLION)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 7:32:39 AM   
xBullx


Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
As long as Lashra hates me I know I'm getting it right....Alphas are always going to bump heads.

How's about a hug Lash,

Bull

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull



I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to JLION)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 11:27:41 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Cali no Im not going to say it because you will cut me off.


Why.... whatEVERRR makes you say that???  I'm a very nice chick.

Cali Bobbitt


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 11:42:52 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline
Chick!  You have me. For once I have to keep my mouth shut.  Mumble mumble.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 5:02:45 PM   
Silkendream


Posts: 65
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline
How can you describe yourself as Mr Nice Guy when you make a big point of saying you ridicule people for the way they look and their 'stupidity'?  That does not sound nice at all. 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 6:33:26 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
Some women like arrogant dipshits,some like gentlemen.

Some even like arrogant dipshits who also know WHEN to be a gentleman.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 7:05:20 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
FR:
This is a year old thread.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/6/2008 11:22:06 PM   
MasterWilliam55


Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline
Some subs want you to be a powerfull, controlling, rape and pillage kind of Dom, others more intellectual,  and many more, a sensitive and romantic sort.  Sometimes you are in fact all three. Present yourself in accordnace to what you are looking for and someone will respond. Yes, I know, just another piece of obvious information. Try it , and in time you may meet someone who is responsive to your needs.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/7/2008 1:02:08 AM   
N30vyp3r


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/23/2008
Status: offline
Jlion, I agree and I'm the smae way. I am a nice guy, one who show respect to all . But I have a strong will and feel I need to take control in some way or form. Some are amazed when I work, how can I be nice and quiet, but strong and domiant. And I feel a strong pull of the D/s lifestyle, was intrested inmy young years and now more involed but still a little vanilla.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/7/2008 2:38:48 AM   
venusinblu


Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline
I think your question is as naive as a woman over 40 decrying the fact that she can't be a twue submissive because she isn't a 20something, blonde purring sex kitten in a pretty pink plastic collar .. See?  The stereotypes are just that, stereotypes.  When you get older and grow your Dom-ish mustache, you might realize that

Stop worrying and have some faith in yourself.




_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to JLION)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/7/2008 6:58:13 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline
venusinblu 40 years is to young to be a twue sub in my experience. They just cant seem to keep up with us older guys. Thats why you see the ones putting no one older than 50 for them.

(in reply to venusinblu)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/7/2008 12:04:43 PM   
ForcefuIHands


Posts: 47
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
For one, and for all embittered nice guys out there, I will mention now as I have mentioned before. Ladder Theory holds as true in BDSM as it does in vanilla interactions. Check out www.laddertheory.com

Other than that, comfort yourself in knowing that most of the profiles I view in the "young nubile" category are either obvious fakes or people looking for a free ride. You're young, so you don't have the bank account to support the lithe little bedslave type. I have even had girls respond with, "I'm really looking for someone to spoil and pamper me." The list of demands, not requests, have included twice weekly trips to spas, expensive jewelry, shopping trips, and vacations to major cities. It is the few and far betweens who are looking for genuine relationships.

I'm not going to check out your profile or speculate on the approach you're using. That's not my place, but attacking older Dominants just makes you come off as embittered and shallow. I have my days too where I picture some overweight porn-moustached Dom using a crop on girls chained to his futon like a hillbilly Jabba the Hutt... but that's just me when I rant, and rants have no place for logic.

Hang in there.

(in reply to JLION)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/7/2008 1:55:51 PM   
tigerstyle


Posts: 168
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JLION

I
To be a good dom to attract submissive women, is it required that I be at least 40 years old, have poor taste in fashion, never smile or laugh, have a deep smokers voice, and grow a  thick mustache?  (I am sorry, as this last comment might offend about 90% of the members of collarme.com). Some might say that my  "apology" comment in parentheses after the two smily faces is not a very dominant act as well. Your thoughts on the issue?



Hehe, you've got doms pegged, son.

There are a couple of hifalutin homo doms with new-wave haircuts running around here, but mostly we have fat balding heads, bad facial hair and a serious humour deficit.


_____________________________

million master march: on the 40th anniversary of bdsm, one million masters will march on washington dc to petition congress for redress of sexual wrongs. contact me for details.

(in reply to JLION)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/8/2008 5:35:04 PM   
DeferentialBaby


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline
I liked your profile, I saw nothing undominant with saying "I'm sorry," I got the humor, I appreciated that your profile was long and original, full of substance and interesting, not like those awful short and sorry "all sound same" nothing profiles that so many people on here write when they're too uptight or afraid of censure (or just plain unimaginative) to just be themselves, and I think that most of the bdsm crowd is so totally lame-o that if you are making them critique and dislike you, then you are doing something VERY VERY right. 

FWIW, my former owner, beloved for 16 years, was a total nice guy, and he had sub women falling all over him throughout his life.  I have a personal thing about the moustaches as well  (I find them disgusting, for the most part, I think because most men I've known sporting them have been disgusting), so all I can say is, Carry on! Contrary to popular (blech!) opinion, you're doing everything right.

One really stupid thing that a lot of people do on this site (and you can see this behavior clearly in the responses you're getting in this thread)  is to try predict what others are really like by one or two phrases that they pluck magically and totally out of context from their profiles (if you posted the dictonary in your profile, these same people would find those same one or two phrases there and insist that was "proof" that the dictionary wasn't dominant. Well, in a sense they would be right, but who wants to be right in such a very idiotic way?)  It can't be done, the only way to get to know someone is to take the time to get to know them,  but people who aren't really all that  bright still try to do it, and they make up these magical "keys" or interpretive clues out of the silliest things. Women who have never felt the touch of a flogger (let alone had their backs bloodied by a viciously weilded carriage whip) will say "Oh! he aoplogized in his first line. That is a clear indication that he is not a "TrueDom"(tm-lameO)!"  Idiots, all of them. But they all have to have their little magic-word systems, it makes them feel secure to think that they've got it all figured out: say the wrong keywords and your history. I use that to my advantage in my own profiles, sometimes: just for fun, I plaster the hell out of them with what I know "everyone" (dumb, that is) thinks are the wrong key words or phrases precisely so that the men who think like robots won't have the least desire to approach me and I won't have to (yay!!!) deal with THEM. :D  Yeah, the guys do the fortune-teller between-the-lines thing too, it's not just the chicks, and the stupider the person (man or woman) the more their rely on these totally false props to convince themselves about how right they are. Sadly, being right on this website is far more important to most people than finding the love of their lives...or even a good fuck.

At any rate,  the one who bloodied my back well and frequently loved to apologize. Sometimes it was just in fun, part of the game; other times it was because he was such a big spirit that he couldn't bear not admitting he was wrong when he believed that he had been, as not admitting it and bluffing it out as a macho he-man know-it-all DOMINATE would have been such a childish thing to do that he couldn't have lived with himself aftewards. :)   

The ladder theory is awfully convincing, but it leaves a great deal out. I think it is because it deals with only the most robotic and stupid human behavior, and doesn't factor in intelligence or perceptiveness (or even maturity), traits which, like it or not, some people are born with and can't avoid applying to all situations in life.

(in reply to Matadorr)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/9/2008 6:45:07 AM   
Silkendream


Posts: 65
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline
Hello again everyone!  I would just like to say that my previous post was addressed to the op - it was my first post (ever on this site!) and it  mistakenly said that it was replying to Dnomyar.  Apologies to him - simply a case of my ignorance around posting.

(in reply to JLION)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/9/2008 8:45:48 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
Mr. Nice Guy can be Mr. Dom. My Master epitomizes this, at least for me. He likes cuddles, caressing, treating me like a human being and to a large part thanks to work, and other considerations, one would say we live a "vanilla" life at first glance. It is far from that and dominance permeates most aspects of our interaction and relationship with each other. Make no mistake he is the Dominant in the relationship between us, and while polite, patient and compassionate in his interactions with others, takes only a backseat with his Boss. Little of this, one could say, comes across in his journal entries or in our profile. His sexual needs are sadistic, his personality Dominant, his writing style pedantic. Intellectually he could make that proverbial dead horse TRY to get back up just to get away from the whip of his dialog on many subjects and depths of knowledge. Does this come across in his writing styles? Not so much.

Myself on the other hand while submissive to my Master rarely comes across as a submissive in any way in my writing style, speaking style or personality. Dominant Alpha female in all ways save to him. We complement each other, square peg each other and fit. We also clash just like every other couple from time to time. He "wins" most of those clashes but he knows he has been in a fight and hears me as well.    

Different strokes for different folks. Be who you are, don't apologize for it, know that you are not likely to fit every sub's dream out there, but eventually you will find the one who does fit. It took me nearly 13 years to find Master and 3 for him to find me, along the way we both experienced a lot, met people and learned what we did and did not want. Rough edges were knocked off both of us in the process. One thing we both learned in our lives, is it takes all kinds. Making fun of someone for any reason blocks you from knowing that person and maybe finding that 80% fit you desire. Most everything else can be worked on or accomodated, but you will never know unless you are open to knowing them as people not as caricatures to be laughed at and ridiculed. Laugh with, not at.

poenkitten

(in reply to Silkendream)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/9/2008 3:55:04 PM   
yahyah


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline
from my personal experience it depends entirely on the type of mood and circumstance.  Sometimes you have to be a hard ass to prove you care for your  slave other times she will require love and guidance.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/9/2008 4:01:51 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
What really gets me are the arrogant jerks in nice guy clothing...they try to convince you how nice they are while being secretive, half-assed, and complaining like  little passive aggresive bitches. If this is you...ooops...my bad!

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 2/9/2008 11:59:37 PM   
nwcutie102


Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline
i prefer the nice guy, the intelligent gentlemen. he who has control over his dominance. the one who offers respect, then dominance

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? Page: <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.715