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ORIGINAL: liljoy

or even a first name for sure

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

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ORIGINAL: LadyIce

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Susan...It seems that drama follows you everywhere you go.  That might be an indication of repeated mistakes or poor judgement on you part.  I don't know you so I can't really say.  I do know that you've been on the boards now with three major dramas within the past year...all were detrimental to your safety.  You may need to step back and really take a hard look at how you communicate with people.  I know you just started a thread on house rules and to be honest, to me thats an indication of part of the problem.  You come across to me as if you don't really talk to these men that you consider.  It seems to me that you are more concerned with protocol and being the perfect submissive that you can't relax enoough to speak to these people like people and not Dominants.  You learn a lot more from someone when you forget the rules and just talk.  I think that you've probably known for a while that there were all kinds of red flags with this guy, but you chose to ignore them until they couldn't be ignored any longer.  I can understand that desire, but desire will never make someone fit into what you are searching for.  Listen and trust yourself, be confident in yourself, control yourself and men will not be able to take advantage of you.  You made the right decision.  Learn from it so you don't repeat the pattern.  This is supposed to be enjoyable.

What a nasty attitude you have, this is a time she needs support.
Attitudes like this is why many of us don't want to share.
I don't see you sharing information, yet you are quick to tear someone
else apart.

That's funny...I have over 4000 posts and I'm on this board exchanging ideas every day.  You have 102 posts.  And what advice did you give Susan?  All I did in this post was bring up the fact that perhaps Susan, instead of placing all of the blame on the dom, might recognize that she was part of the problem in her denial of red flags and poor communication.  She said that he refused to give her the info three weeks into the talking an yet she continued to try and move the relationship forward another six weeks, even buying non- refundable tickets.  She refused to realize that she had a problem until three days before she was about to go???  WTF!  She should have walked when he didn't give the info.  None of this would have happened.  Then she brings it to the boards all upset.  She gets pissed when her self made fantasy world doesn't meet up with reality and then comes here to be coddled.  Like I've said before...she has a history of bringing her dramas to the boards and she gets very good advice, but she also doesn't listen to a lot of it.  That's her choice.   Trust me, I could have been a lot nastier.  As it is, I think I was rather nice.  Because I said something which wasn't along the lines of poor Susan doesn't make me nasty or wrong.  I didn't realize that some adults here had rules taken from a Kindergaten class.  I didn't play nicey nice so I got kicked out of the sandbox.  Oh well.  This is ridiculous.  I'm done.  Good luck Susan.  Hope things work out for you.

edited for spelling.

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I don’t understand why someone as smart and charming as you has had such continual onset of bad luck. That guy is mean and very bad. 

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ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Don't have the energy argue with two people in one day Aileen. You are of course entitled to your opinion - and also to not read message board threads.  You could be right. Maybe you are. I can take criticism - I've been giving oit to myself all morning.
Do you get that I am hurt? Do you get I needed to vent? Do you get what message boards can be good for, sometimes?  I can take your opinion,.Aileen, or leave it, and frankly this time I am leaving it, Don;t like it? Don't read it. How's that fpor "approval seeking"? He?

I have done it to myself all morning. You're not saying anything to me I haven't already said to myself, darlin' - especially this morning. I am not trying to hurt your feelings either. Just sayin.' Dont like it - don't read it.

- Susan

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ORIGINAL: LadyIce

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

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ORIGINAL: LadyIce

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Susan...It seems that drama follows you everywhere you go.  That might be an indication of repeated mistakes or poor judgement on you part.  I don't know you so I can't really say.  I do know that you've been on the boards now with three major dramas within the past year...all were detrimental to your safety.  You may need to step back and really take a hard look at how you communicate with people.  I know you just started a thread on house rules and to be honest, to me thats an indication of part of the problem.  You come across to me as if you don't really talk to these men that you consider.  It seems to me that you are more concerned with protocol and being the perfect submissive that you can't relax enoough to speak to these people like people and not Dominants.  You learn a lot more from someone when you forget the rules and just talk.  I think that you've probably known for a while that there were all kinds of red flags with this guy, but you chose to ignore them until they couldn't be ignored any longer.  I can understand that desire, but desire will never make someone fit into what you are searching for.  Listen and trust yourself, be confident in yourself, control yourself and men will not be able to take advantage of you.  You made the right decision.  Learn from it so you don't repeat the pattern.  This is supposed to be enjoyable.

What a nasty attitude you have, this is a time she needs support.
Attitudes like this is why many of us don't want to share.
I don't see you sharing information, yet you are quick to tear someone
else apart.

That's funny...I have over 4000 posts and I'm on this board exchanging ideas every day.  You have 102 posts.  And what advice did you give Susan?  All I did in this post was bring up the fact that perhaps Susan, instead of placing all of the blame on the dom, might recognize that she was part of the problem in her denial of red flags and poor communication.  She said that he refused to give her the info three weeks into the talking an yet she continued to try and move the relationship forward another six weeks, even buying non- refundable tickets.  She refused to realize that she had a problem until three days before she was about to go???  WTF!  She should have walked when he didn't give the info.  None of this would have happened.  Then she brings it to the boards all upset.  She gets pissed when her self made fantasy world doesn't meet up with reality and then comes here to be coddled.  Like I've said before...she has a history of bringing her dramas to the boards and she gets very good advice, but she also doesn't listen to a lot of it.  That's her choice.   Trust me, I could have been a lot nastier.  As it is, I think I was rather nice.  Because I said something which wasn't along the lines of poor Susan doesn't make me nasty or wrong.  I didn't realize that some adults here had rules taken from a Kindergaten class.  I didn't play nicey nice so I got kicked out of the sandbox.  Oh well.  This is ridiculous.  I'm done.  Good luck Susan.  Hope things work out for you.

edited for spelling.

Again, if you don't care to read what Susan writes, don't read it.
I enjoy Susan, she is sweet and she is real.
Good luck Susan, you certainly deserve someone better.

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I can say that the man in question may indeed be a player or a dumb-ass- but he is also a acquaintance of a friend and is out and known in the public scene in SA and so is at least well enough known to have connections offline and not have been ostracized.

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but it may be there are three sides. Susan's, the man of multi-first names, and reality.

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ORIGINAL: SusanofO

This honestly isnt a personal thing. I've thougt a lot about it, and I just don't see how being mean to people ever helps them, because the manner in which the message is imparted to begin with, is almost guaranteed to tune out the person is intended to reach.

**Also, it is very much worth mentioning, that people who rarely (if ever), self-disclose, could very well have personal lives that are in complete shambles, as easily as they could be stellar examples of emotional health (or otherwise capable of giving decent advice).

So - if someone never self-dicloses anything about themselves, or their lives, here on-line, when offering to another their "good advice", I tend to take it with a grain of salt, no matter how eloquent they are in expressing their opinion.


- Susan