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SusanofO -> RE: Please help me - Re: Non-disclosure; understandable? Or manipulation? (3/10/2007 3:00:04 PM)
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I hope this thread has perhaps been helpful to someone besides me. And it has been very helpful to me.
LA: Actually he did indeed offer to buy me my plane ticket. I wanted to buy it, because if things for some reason didn't go well, I didn't want to feel "obligated" (I know myself too well, that way), which is why I also insisted on paying for the hotel room. He also advised me to change my regular (Microsoftword) e-mail address, as it lists my last name. That is a good idea, too.
Yes, if he sent you an e-mail and told you these things, they are true. I was not trying to damage anyone's rep here, and I am still not broadcasting this guy's name (and am sure LA wouldn't do that either). I have a heart, he could be legit, and maybe am am completely wrong here. It just feels weird to me. He has a right to do what he wants.
He already knows that my bottom-line is that I need ID I can check out, like a street address and a last name. He's known that for awhile. If he isn't willing to give me that, I don't see him. It's not mean, it's not heartless, it's just the rules I have for myself, and it's also pretty standard "before meeting" protocol in the bdsm world. He can't produce it, I don't go. That simple. I am sure there is someone out there who is willing to let it go. That person is not me. I will try to see if there is some way I can maybe work this out, maybe it will. Far as I can tell, though, the ball is in his court.,as far as producing verifiable info.
LA: I'll e-mail you asap, (by tommorrow eve) and let you know for sure what's happening. And thanks for the kind offer of hospitality. Very sweet, and appreciated.
I'm not gonna go on and on about this (even though I already have). I am done talking about it (maybe hard to believe, but true, he).Thanks for listening. I really felt a need to bounce this off of someone. As for those who honestly believe I "have too much weird stuff happen in my life" etc. You are, IMO, full of baloney (other people have "stuff happen" all the time, and maybe more often, in fact, and how do you know it doesn't), but - you are certainly entitled to your opinion.
Fact is - the ability and to have someplace to be able to ask this kind of question is just a big part of what these CM forums are for. It is a big part of the reason they exist, IMO. The bdsm world is full of situations where a judgment needs to be made, and since it is many times a new situation for someone, they may not be sure what to do, or how to handle it.
Also, you're obviously interested in some aspect of it, or you'd not be reading it. So yeah - while I did appreciate reading all of the opinions, and really, really appreciated the obvious kind support and sincere objective comments (even if a bit critical) I got - anyone who would actually say: "Golly, she has no right to ask this question, it's all just "too much" etc. - that's absolute BULLSHIT, IMO - regardless of whether anyone's opinion is that I was too naive here (I agree, in retrospect, maybe I was) or not.
Say things like that enough times, alienate enough people with responses like that, and some newbie (or anyone, for that matter) really IS maybe gonna get themsleves killed walking right into a situation like this, or something similar, where somebody does have sinister motives.
Wow, that's real responsible behavior, especially coming from so-called denizens of such apparently trouble-free, and prisitine, bdsm-oriented lives. It sure as hell ain't gonna matter whether something was "all their own fault" or some other such small-minded, idiotic sentiment, if someone ends up injured in a way not-intended, or worse, - ends up dead. Is It? No.
I certainly don't care what anyone's opinion of me is, about my "right to post". But - you might consider that assinine sentiments such as these, really do perhaps affect someone else who may be reading this, or these CM boards generally, and who now may hesitate to ask what they should do in a particular situation where they really could end up injured, hurt or maybe just need a sane opinion, about what to do in a particular situation. Which is, IMO, part of the entire reason this message boards exist.
Anyway, I did appreciate the opinions, and the support, and just posting the question really allowed me to think the situation through for myself.
I needed to be able to do that, and to bounce this situation off people who had actually perhaps been faced with soemthing similar, or else had an opinions about it. And I got plenty of valuable feed-back, objective as well as supportive, or both, and it was very helpful.
Thanks for that. Very much.
- Susan
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