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Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 12:48:48 AM

JLION

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I am a dom, and I also consider myself to be a humanitarian activist. I have had the pleasure of meeting many activists on collarme.com who practice charitable acts regularly. However, I noticed that every single one was a submissive. Are there doms who do good for the world also? The average person might intuitively believe that doms are more interested in self-fulfillment, although I am sure this is untrue. Can we get some input from doms and subs, based on their own experience, and what they know of their peers.. are submissives just better humanitarians than doms? Submissives enjoy serving, and doms are used to being served. But are there doms out here who serve the needy? I appreciate any input. .

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 1:24:01 AM

BeachMystress

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For years, I carried a bag of nonperishable groceries in my car to give to homeless people on the street. I donate to charity, sent money to the Katrina rescue effort and have rescued more than one animal from a bad situation. I've given virtual strangers rides to the emergency room and stayed with them so they'd not be alone while they were feeling scared and vulnerable. The list goes on and on, but I not interested in listing more.

Perhaps the reason you hear from subs about their charitable acts is that they crave recognition for them. I know many Dominants who help out as they can, where they can and when they can without feeling the need to discuss these things with others.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 4:43:30 AM

Dnomyar

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I agree with Beach. Why do you have to broadcast what you do. Do you have the need for a pat on the back or praise from others. I know inside my heart that I have done my best to help someone. I dont need my ego stroked because of it.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 5:05:23 AM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I agree with Beach. Why do you have to broadcast what you do. Do you have the need for a pat on the back or praise from others. I know inside my heart that I have done my best to help someone. I dont need my ego stroked because of it.

I already stated this theory in another one of his threads, but I have already been toild I am wrong. I am also wrong in my assumption that he is looking for reassurance in his own dominance. The only real answer I can think of to these questions would be "Its okay...*pat on the back*..you are an awesome human beings and a big dominant boy even though your charitable* But...since my theories have already been concluded as wrong, then that cant be the answer...so I am just an idiot who cant figure out what answer he wants.

Maybe there isnt an answer and he just wanted to post about how great of a humatiaration is...but wait...thats wrong as well!

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 3/15/2007 5:06:42 AM >

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 5:08:38 AM

Celeste43

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Not a dom/sub division but a male/female one. Women are much more likely to be volunteers than men. Soup kitchens, literacy programs, meals on wheels, much more likely to be staffed by females.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 5:15:44 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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first of all, i don't crave a "pat on the back" when i do volunteer work - actually i don't like the recognition because being in the spotlight is not who i am. i, too, have a long list of volunteerism (political and social) however i let my actions speak for me than boasting about it myself.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 5:23:30 AM

curiouslyseeking

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I truly don't believe you will find who is the most charitable in a label or title... men/women - Dom/sub -

It's all about the human being...

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 5:24:08 AM

Devilslilsister

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Uh, i do things cos it makes me feel good.

i could guess that the reason more submissives speak up about it, for the same reason that hearing a "good girl/boy" from their Dom pleases them.

Beach, i really like the idea about the non perishable goods.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 7:02:04 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I have seen no evidence to suggest that one's personal relationship orientation will lead one to be any more or less charitable than another.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 7:12:44 AM

thetammyjo

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When I was involved in the local kink community for many years I routinely volunteered my time, a bit of my money, and my knowledge. I did workshops, organized events, and went to classrooms to talk about BDSM.

The problem I ran into is that without others who are willing to either take responsibility or take direction you get burnt out quickly. While I found some people happy to take directions there was an incredible derth of those willing to take responsibility and having the ability to organize things.

Currently I do minor political activism (letter writing, signs, donations of money) and have turned my BDSM activism more to my book reviews and personal interactions. Having been burnt out once I'm not rushing back into anything big again.

That said I do notice that I can't take direction from someone who I feel is incompentant or ill-organized but my slave and my husband (both of whom are submissive as opposed to dominant) can go along with the flow for a long time before it gets to be too much for them. Perhaps it is a difference in personality but whether or not that translates into scene role or job personality I can't say because for me they are very close to each other. Heck, I've been known to tell a professor I was working for that his/her test question was unclear or their plan was not going to get the results they want from students and that's can be a risky thing for a mere grad student to do.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 7:57:30 AM

FukinTroll

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I don't feel you can marry D/s with charity. People of both inclinations are some of the most selfish people and some of the most giving people you will ever meet. You may feel that a submissive would be incapable of selfishness; I would argue that. They have a good idea of what they want and will select a D that will fulfill that best. I do not feel it is a bad trait, everyone should be very selfish about who they invite into their lives. With that said, even out of D/s content both can be very selfish or be very charitable.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 11:23:21 AM

LaTigresse

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We exist therefor We are giving the greatest gift of all, Our dom/mely presence.

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RE: Dom or Sub: Who is more charitable? - 3/15/2007 12:25:34 PM

Siona

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JLION

I am a dom, and I also consider myself to be a humanitarian activist. I have had the pleasure of meeting many activists on collarme.com who practice charitable acts regularly. However, I noticed that every single one was a submissive. Are there doms who do good for the world also? The average person might intuitively believe that doms are more interested in self-fulfillment, although I am sure this is untrue. Can we get some input from doms and subs, based on their own experience, and what they know of their peers.. are submissives just better humanitarians than doms? Submissives enjoy serving, and doms are used to being served. But are there doms out here who serve the needy? I appreciate any input. .

Could it be, that being you're a dom, that you were specifically speaking with subs to begin with?

And as the statement made by BeachMystress:
"Perhaps the reason you hear from subs about their charitable acts is that they crave recognition for them."

Perhaps you were having an in depth conversation with them, about your charitable acts and they shared theirs with you, upon you asking them about theirs..not necessarily craving the recognition?

edited to change a punctuation.

< Message edited by Siona -- 3/15/2007 12:27:52 PM >

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