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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/19/2007 8:56:22 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I just want to say that I have enjoyed the responses.  In my orginal OP I express a couple of the common mantra's that we seem to hear from submissives with regards to the motivations.  It is my hope that because of so much of what has been already contributed that both Submissives and Dominants alike get beyond mantra's like this.  That we look at our individual situations not just once but through the course of time and our relationships,  As someone indicated, movtivations can change.  It is also refreshing to consider some of the different perspectives on how to look at one's motivations.  How our needs and wants inter-relate with our motivations.  There has been alot of good things expressed in this thread.  Thank you.



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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/19/2007 10:50:30 AM   
Shylahgirl


Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Generally speaking, I read of two basic motivations of a submissve

"To be Controlled"

"To Please"

I am wondering from a general prespective and not from detailed view point... do you see other motivations within the s-types?


All the submissives that I know, including myself, have a great desier to please one person or many people.

As for being controled, that isn't a comon motovation among myself or my froends. Corntrole implys force, that's just the meaning most peole find behind the word. I would prefure to say a nother modivation for one to serve is for love and cherishment.

Others could include, but aren't limited to, protection, education, sex (by it's self), or simply it's how they wish to express them selves. Some submissives just have a need to serve with out knowing why they feel that need.

Shylah


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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/19/2007 10:54:08 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl
Corntrole implys force, that's just the meaning most peole find behind the word. I would prefure to say a nother modivation for one to serve is for love and cherishment.

Well I suppose a lot of people could take that impression with the word control, but I don't think it implies such in any way.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/19/2007 11:09:12 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I don't need to be physically controlled, though being immobilized is hot. I like the idea of someone knowing my mind well enough to be able to control me in a positive way. I've been manipulated in negative ways and didn't like that at all. But someone being able to get into the depths of my mind and using that knowledge to control me is something I want.

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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/19/2007 11:36:14 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		For me, surrender is all about the acceptance of who I am, and putting trust in another person. To me, serving and being controlled are all byproducts of being allowed to be myself.

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You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/19/2007 12:07:06 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Generally speaking, I read of two basic motivations of a submissve

"To be Controlled"

"To Please"

I don't really think one is better than another... just different.  I also think that either motivations can be to an a point that it can be harmful to the well-being to the submissive.  However, I also think that it can be very much be an extreme point and still the submissive can have a very heallthy Well-being.  Lastly, It really isn't an either or thing.. meaning that as humans we can be rather complex and have multiple motivations even motivations that may appear to contradict each other in the moment. 

I am wondering from a general prespective and not from detailed view point... do you see other motivations within the s-types?

hello KnightofMists
 
in my relationship with Master, its more about just being pleasing in everything that i do, and giving him absolute obedience.
 
melissa

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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/19/2007 12:25:29 PM   
sabswife


Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		both, but thats just the tip of it, there is so much more to being submissive than those short phrases.

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"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."


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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/19/2007 6:29:22 PM   
mythi


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bellanotte

Need to explore the depths of the soul/mind through spiritual D/s



I'd say this one definitely applies, tho not necessarily requiring a spiritual component.  I don't want to be with someone who isn't interested in exploring each other and ourselves as fully as (resonably) possible.  For me that limits how much a relationship and the people in it can grow and develop.

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Flannery O’Connor

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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/20/2007 8:42:14 AM   
serillabound


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/12/2006
Status: offline 		To get off...

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submission is not a gift but the result of a mind raping partnership

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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/20/2007 10:31:09 AM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

posting radical thought here - my motivation as a submissive isn't to be controlled and to please. my motivation is to be molded and shaped  from the person that i was before to what i am now ...to expand and expound my talents in reaching my full potential.  i don't need a Dominant to lord and master over me - my personality type and other characteristics would not make me suitable for that type of D/s relationship. those who seek to use sadistic punishment and techniques to train  - definitely not my cup of tea. i'm glad Daddy saw me an individual, woman, daughter, and submissive (in that order) without asserting harsh dominance.


I can complety understand this need you have here. This is another thing I have been coin flipping in terms of my next relationship.  For the last 14 years, there have kids involved in the relationships I've had.  I miss having that feeling of taking care of looking after somebody in these terms.  I mean the element of shaping and molding and playing this role in anothers life.  I have been exploring the Daddy role as an option for my next relationship.  Right now, I'm opening to a couple of types and roles to play out.  I love and enjoy the exchanges on the message boards, because it's a tool in helping me sort things out more.  It's allowing me to explore other avenues and choices, other then the ones I've taken in the past.   

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RE: Motivations of a Submissive! - 3/20/2007 10:38:49 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: serillabound

To get off...


Haha, the best answer yet.

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