RE: 18 and maturity

RE: 18 and maturity (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

StellaByStarlite -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 5:29:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I agree with you. Your thoughts are more or less the same in my first post which is why I dont stress to much on my maturity. Haha... even at 35, I don't stress my maturity either. ;) But...I think people can grow and mature faster or slower than others so how much time is needed is the real question. This is why I dont make the connection between age and maturity. Here's an interesting question... would somebody in a completely different culture, say China, respond to this entire post much differently? Asia in particular venerates those that are older. It would be interesting to find out how much of this discussion is generated by cultural perspectives. Not that either side would be right or wrong, I would just be intrigued. =) I also think the quality and depth of experienes DOES have something to do with it. I have been experiencing the day by day mundanes of adult life since I was on my own at 16. I seriously doubt my maturity level would be the same if I was 30 and had lived with my parents my entire life. Well, yes. LOL! Witnessing your parents deal with life and actually struggling to make it on your own are two different things. =) A lot of people are surprised when I reveal my age. I have worked side by side with a middle aged man for a year who was totally blown away when I told him my age for the first time a week ago. But as much as I have grown now and as mature I think I am now...it will be nothing compared to what I will be in ten years. Ah-ha! The crux of it all. The knowledge of inevitable change in our lives.. and more importantly, accepting it and letting it happen Also give me an 18 year old with immaturity, wisdom and responsibility over a 30 year old with maturity, a complete lack of wisdom, and irresponsibility any day. (This comes from personal experience. These 30 year olds are called my roommates. I could handle immaturity if it came with rent money by the 1st.) Your roommates sound like they're friends with my ex-husband. He's almost 40 and mooches off his girlfriend, lol.

StellaByStarlite -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 5:43:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aine Fast reply to no one in particular. I've not read the entirety of this thread yet, and I'm sure I'll have even more to read once I get home from work. But hows about engaging those of us "durn youngins" instead of patronizing us? That depends on what you find patronizing. I'll reserve the right to shake my head and chuckle if I see a young adult do or say something I remember myself doing at that age. That doesn't mean I would find an 18 year old worthless, or less of a person.. it just means they're 18. =) People in general don't like to be treated "as a child" and will generally respond better when not addressed thusly. Oh, well, that never ends. My mother still does that to me, and I'm well into adulthood with a family, lol. Let's not even bring up my grandmother, rest her battleaxe soul. =) (edited to add) And shoosh, I am not including those in playtime :P

Shylahgirl -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 7:18:40 AM)
Just remember that you shouldn't discount a good sub/slave or Master/Dom for that matter based on number of years lived or number of years of experince. If they are well trained to top or bottom, then it shouldn't matter. Or if you are a good slave trainer, you should be able to get past most age lititations... as long as the sub/slave wants to coroperate, that is. Maturity verys from one person to the next. I know a 40 year old woman who is mentaly as mature as an avrage 15 year old. I know 18 year olds who are as miture as a 30 year old. Just keep in mind that if you do finde a yonger sub/slave who is unusually miture be understanding during the times when they do act their age. I know that when I act my age it can be frustrating for Master. Luckly it doesn't happen to often ;) Shylah

MstrTiger -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 9:40:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: MstrTiger quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: MstrTiger quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar MstrTiger why did you come to this site? It dosent look like it was to answer the question. I dont see anywhere in the post that I claimed to be more mature than anyone. I just asked what qualifies them to be mature. Guess you werent qualifed to answer it. By asking a question like that you are implying that you are better/more experienced than the people you are aiming the question at, if you are not implying that then what exactly was the point of your question? Also why I came to this site is none of your business and once again I ask the question why do you think I or anyone anyone else should have to explain or justify themselves to you? And if you dont feal the need to explain or justify anything, then why are you even bothering to make this post? The cycle of circular logic continues... Because it amused me to do so. Oh yeah..btw...you just justified yourself to me... I did not say people should not justify themselves to other people ever I said people should not expect other people to justify their actions just because they don’t agree with them. I think someone becoming so outraged about something someone has written about themselves on their profile is quite silly. Also I am not a teenager I am 26 and if I want to act like a 5 year old then I will, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it laughing boy.

basque48 -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 2:01:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69 Seems alot need the peer acceptance Some are trolls Some are wannabes Some embellish the truth Some fabricate the truth Some reinvent themselves Ross ©º°¨¨°º© And for this world, those who claim maturity then, are missing true maturity and experience? That absolutely no one of this age, could slip thru for any reason, none. No one of this age, the age to now fight for us, die for us, is real enough to have obtained the true status of mature and experienced, perhaps in real life, but not in this life? Is this your point here? It seems there are inherent differences in this whole discussion to me, life can bring a maturity and experience to many of this age, that does not carry yet into this life. This life has so many other demands and expectations, mostly of the mind, it has a certain other expectation of maturity that is so different than what comes from real every day life. Trauma even cannot bring this type of needed maturity. This all seems two different questions to me. Real life experience is very different, even in playing and how far one feels they are into this lifestyle when you are that young. There is simply no yardstick to measure with, so they are not really all wrong in what they are saying either, if they have no real comparison. Isn't it the age old rule that until you know it exists, it does not yet, so if your still young you have different perceptions of what all is real and can yet be so.. Correct?

LotusSong -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 3:05:37 PM)
To annabelle: I don't take anyone's opinion to heart.. especially a young person's, for it will change frequently over the years and each time the person will be sure of it's absolute truth :) But I'll leave you one bit of advice for anyone in this "lifestyle".. develop a thick skin or you will not survive.

Aileen68 -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 3:33:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong I don't take anyone's opinion to heart.. especially a young person's, for it will change frequently over the years and each time the person will be sure of it's absolute truth :) I don't think that is exclusive of a young person. I think people of every age change their outlook on life every single day. edited to add...Oh dear Lord, I just got hit with a brick with the realization that I'm no longer in the young person crowd. 8(

WhiplashSmile -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 4:12:51 PM)
quote: edited to add...Oh dear Lord, I just got hit with a brick with the realization that I'm no longer in the young person crowd. 8( We will all be hit by the same brick again, the day we realize we can get Senior Citizens discounts for our BDSM gear.

boltaction -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/29/2007 6:33:08 PM)
I'm 23, and just thinking about the life choices I was making at 18 makes me slap my forehead. Even now I'm not fully mature, but at least I recognize it and learn more every day.

MastaMale -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 3:51:10 AM)
I havent read all the post, there just too much to read in one sitting. I have been in this arguement before. I have had to argue my point to many of the BDSM community about my age. Frankly there will always be stubborn people that will not budge on the issue. I just let them go on believing that while I find other people to help me. And frankly we all had to find out at some point. I just happened to find out at 16. I found out the vanilla life wasnt for me at 16, yes 16. I didnt know much about it, just that I got excited over doing bondage, and loving the moment when I had women submit to me. I didnt understand what I was going through and I had no one to help me. Was I mature at 16? I doubt it. Was I willing to learn? yes. being that young there isnt many outlets to find out about bdsm besides the internet, porn, and heresay. I do not believe anyone in the BDSM community would actually teach that young (well I know people to break the rules for females aka pedos). I was careful about telling my big secret because 1 day in health class the teacher was defining sexual terms and fetish was one of the words. And he gave the example of whips, chains, and handcuffs. The whole class started laughing except me. 1 gothic girl new what he was talking about and spoke out. I was to shy to say anything. After class people were still laughing and joking about the crazy people who did that. Then i knew I couldnt tell just anyone about me and BDSM. So then I turned 18 and well was I mature then? yes better than 16. I just started college and love the independence and freedom. By now I have had some expereince already. there were a few women who would let me tie them up and act out my fantaises but that was only in the bedroom. I knew once I turned 18 that I wanted to start searching for actual slaves. So now am I 22 and I am mature? way more than 18 but yet I m still Imature. I do not want to always act mature, serious, and grown up all the time. Life cant be lived being all serious, adult, and mature. There is a need to let go and have some fun. I have seen adults act Immature in chatrooms, concerts, playgrounds, with friends, etc. I do not believe we are always mature well there maybe a few and I wonder if they are enjoying their life. So what does this have to do with age and maturity? well all i wanted to say was that some people find out about bdsm when they are young if they are real they will try to search out ways to learn. I believe that is not the maturity at the age of 18 should be focused on but the desire to learn, taking BDSM seriously, and taking responsibilty should be the focus because mature decision will be made if these are followed. Besides I know of some immature people but yet still respected since they are able to make mature decisions when needed. I bet there are still times when your in a scene and well you cant help but laugh. BDSM is fun, its enjoyable, and yes it can be funny. As they say "do not take yourself to seriously or you will never get out a live." I gotta quote this "age is mandatory, maturity is optional"

MadRabbit -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 6:24:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrTiger I did not say people should not justify themselves to other people ever I said people should not expect other people to justify their actions just because they don’t agree with them. I think someone becoming so outraged about something someone has written about themselves on their profile is quite silly. Also I am not a teenager I am 26 and if I want to act like a 5 year old then I will, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it laughing boy. I rest my case regarding maturity and age not being linked.

MadRabbit -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 6:34:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aine Fast reply to no one in particular. I've not read the entirety of this thread yet, and I'm sure I'll have even more to read once I get home from work. But hows about engaging those of us "durn youngins" instead of patronizing us? People in general don't like to be treated "as a child" and will generally respond better when not addressed thusly. (edited to add) And shoosh, I am not including those in playtime :P The two opposing forces in this debate are determined by one group not being old enough to understand and the other group not being young enough to understand.

jauntyone -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 6:46:49 AM)
Greetings This is just a fast general reply I had stopped posting here because the debate itself seemed like it was running in circles. On the one side, we have those who say that unless you have lived a bit of life, and experienced something worth learning from; then you can not be considered mature. And on the other side we have those who state that age, and actual experience have nothing to do with maturity; but rather it is what you do with what you have learned that counts. Neither side is wrong; neither side is right. I think that maturity comes with age, experience, and learning from mistakes. However, I also believe that one can be 18 and be mature; just as one can be 68 and be mature ( and the same can go for immaturity ). Just something I was thinking about I wish you all well melissa

CelticPrince -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 6:54:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jauntyone Greetings Stella I do not mean to offend with these questions, I am only trying to understand. quote: There's a subtle line between jaded and maturity. To me, maturity is having priorities well in order.. a sense of personal responsibility AND a sense of duty/obligation towards others.Feeling your own mortality. The wisdom that comes with life's boring little details. And.. the knowlegde that no matter how much we've experienced, life still has the ability to knock you for a major loop. =) When I was a freshman in highschool, I knew a girl whose mother had passed away 3 years prior. She had 4 younger siblings; her father worked 2 jobs, one in the morning, one in the evening. Everyday, she got her brothers and sisters breakfast and off to school. Everyday, she came home, her and her siblings cleaned the house so their father would have a nice place to come home to; she made dinner for everyone and made sure homework was done, and baths were gotten. She put the younger ones to bed, did her own homework, laundry, and anything else that came up. She waited up every night for her father to come home so that she could spend just a small amount of time talking to him about school, boys, and anything else that cropped up. Amidst all of this, she managed to hang on to the A honor roll all through high school, managed 2 babysitting jobs in addition to watching her own siblings, received a basketball scholoarship to college. For 4 years through high school, I watched her play grown up; she did a fine job of it too. Maturity only comes with age you say? And life experience? She was more mature than many that I see nowadays. Maturity comes in many different packages. None will ever look the same. I wish you well melissa quote: For 4 years through high school, I watched her play grown up; she did a fine job of it too. Maturity only comes with age you say? And life experience? She was more mature than many that I see nowadays. Maturity comes in many different packages. None will ever look the same. jo, a very fine example of real life maturity. CP

mixielicous -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 8:46:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong how any piercings or tattoos they acquire. every one of my tattoos and piercings have personal/spiritual/symbolic meanings, as well they should.

mixielicous -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 8:51:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Ouch... at 18 I was still a virgin and had had one of the most meaningful relationships of my life. It didn't work out but it lasted awhile and changed my life for the better. Not everyone thinks you have to sex to have a meaningful relationship. At 22, I'm still not much older but I've pack a lot of BDSM experience into my years. Do I think I know everything? No. I certainly don't claim to be mature beyond my years, but I think I give fair enough advice - at least by feedback I've been given. I certainly don't care if someone wants to seek their age group, I seek mine after all, but I think painting us all with one brushstroke is a touch unfair. Have you not learned YET that I post MY thoughts on a subject instead of seeing it as PERSONAL attack on all in the referenced topic? Your responses are typical of your age range. React first- think later. Jump on the soapbox. Lead the CHARGE! But, thanks for a perfect example which underscores my point. Blink blink I wasn't jumping on a soapbox, merely stating my own experiences in response to your own and adding that I felt it was unfair to paint us all with one brush. I do not judge your generation by agism and middle aged men who try to get in my pants. It seems to me that your statements are more then a touch pointed, so perhaps I shouldn't respond to you anymore in this thread. Lest you continue to think I'm proving your point. i agree, saw no soap box, AS just makes sure everyone will hear her side/opinion ALWAYS ... and its usually pretty well articulated and factual based on experience and it appears a plethura of facts stored away in her brain. and makes me feel like i need me some learning .. guffaw.

MstrTiger -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 11:07:28 AM)
I think it is silly to try and suggest that age is not a good initial indicator of someone’s level of maturity, the links between age and maturity are clearly not set in stone though I think generally speaking if you don’t know someone personally and you wanted to make a initial judgement on their level of maturity then using their age is probably the best way to go. This does not mean that I think that someone can say all 18 year olds are immature compared to all 40 year olds I think that is a silly thing to say also. Though generally speaking I think a persons age is a good thing to base a guess about their level of maturity on. In my opinion I don’t think it matters how many individual cases people can present where they can give examples of the rule not working I think it is quite apparent that there is always going to be exceptions to such a simple and generalised rule as this. Though I still think generally speaking a persons age is a good thing to go on when trying to judge their maturity and attitudes there will always be plenty of exceptions one way or the other though I think to try to base an argument on exceptions from a guiding rule like this is silly.

junecleaver -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 1:03:15 PM)
I consider myself 'mature' for my age, not necessarily 'beyond my years' but mature. I am lucky enough to be associated with a group of lifestylers who believe the next generation is the future and want to educate us and help us grow and not see all the ideas they have compiled and the minds they have opened go to waste. People are discovering kink at younger ages. Eventually, this is going to change the face of the scene, I think. So you might as well get used to the youngsters running around. Now you get to complain that the internet was the downfall of BDSM! At the age of 18, I already had about three years of 'experience' in private relationships. I am 20 now, just recently joined a group and I am still very new. Whenever someone starts bashing people based on their age, I think it exposes a certain insecurity in them about growing older.

sororitygirl05 -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 4:39:18 PM)
Maturity doesn't come with age, it comes with experiences. I know people my age who have went through so much in their life, that they had to fend for their own. My aunt is in her 40's and she has the mindset of a teenager. She acts like a child. She has a HOUSE, she has CHILDREN, but that doesn't make her mature.

juliaoceania -> RE: 18 and maturity (3/30/2007 9:40:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of young people comming on this site claiming to be mature beyond their years. This is a conception that IMHO is total BS. Someone explain to me how a 18 year old is mature and wise beyond their years. Have they been married and raised a family. Owned a home, had a job. What qualifies them as being mature? I have known 18 year olds that knew what they wanted and set about getting it with a focus and a wisdom beyond most of their peers even without any experience of their own... old souls that seem to learn from watching others. Often these types are very empathetic to others and do not need to be burned themselves to understand that fire is hot. I have also seen young people that learned through hard knocks because they had always had a lot of responsibility thrust upon them. I have also seen older people that thrived on drama who were impossibly immature for repeating the same mistakes over and over again. I think that most young people that I have seen that I considered to be wise did not proclaim their wisdom. The first step to wisdom is to understand how unwise, unknowledgeable, and inexperienced you really are... and always will be in many ways. No one knows everything. It is a rare young person that grasps this and respects the wisdom that other people can give them... these types of young people are rare treasures.. although the knowitall types are treasures too. When I was a teenager my mom used to say I was smarter as a teenager than I would ever be... it was all down hill from there[:D]

Page: << < prev 5 6 [7] 8 9 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

4.699707E-02