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how do u become a master? - 4/2/2007 5:46:48 PM

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im trying to learn more about this lifestyle.what do you have to do to become a master? i need to get a name too, right? some people have the prefix sir ive noticed. i appoligize if these are common knowledge questions, but i just visited the website yesterday. anyone care to enlighten me? please email me and help me get a better understanding

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/2/2007 6:17:27 PM

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heres how it worked for me-----in no particular order in the first paragraph:

I woke up---- I went to school--- I saw rope, I saw women, I saw why they made rope, I went to bars and did bump tests, I boxed, I took martial arts, I used to get beat with a horse cinch as a child---iwent in the army---I noticed that women had different responses to shit than I did---I fucked, and fucked over alotta people----

Then, way to late -- I picked up a book by someone who was slightly senior to me and had a little more organization----the book was called 'Loving Dominant' ----

As I read the disclaimers throughout, I went-------
yup, yup,yup,yup,yup,yup---------insert pages of yups here-----

I fucked up just like that, goddammit-----------

Viola!!!!! Master!!!!!!

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to soxcuz)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/2/2007 6:52:47 PM

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What he ^ said.

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RE: how do u become a master? - 4/2/2007 7:37:39 PM

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I began to listen to people like Master Steve Sampson/slave kirk, Master Skip Chasey/slave rick/slave alia/slave caroline, SlaveMaster/slave nick/other of his natural born slaves, Master Bert Cutler/slave nadine, Mistess Susan/slave boi ziggy, Sir Stephen/slave catherine, Master Scott/slavette...and others really too numerous to name. I found these people at national events that are designed as Master/slave conferences. The events that were/are most influential for me:
Southwest Leather Conference
South Plains Leather Conference
Master/slave Conference

Other events available along the same lines:
Southeast Leather Fest
Great Lakes Leather Alliance

I also went to specific training academies/events:
Butchmanns
Master Taino's Training Academy

I read books. I looked within and studied myself. I looked without and studied those I admired and respected. I collared a slave who, when I first met her, shined for me in a way that I can't describe...and who, when she petitioned for a collar, I agreed to a lifetime collar/commitment and knew would most likely die in my collar.

I've set up a listmania at Amazon.com with fundamental books for Master/slave relationships.

Look at the listmania for BDSM, too.

Master Fire

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(in reply to soxcuz)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 6:18:32 AM

WiseCracknSadist

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Master is a term I think that is earned and not simply told to someone else. I believe myself to be a Dom but only she can decide if I am her master. The reason for that is because of the world we live in. Forced slavery is no longer allowed.

So I started slow. I introduced her to how my life is and what her role is in it. I explained to her what would be expected of her and the consequences if she disobeyed. All along I made sure she was comfortable and understood these were not things I did for kicks but truly who I was.

I told her she would have to live in the lifestyle 24/7. She told me she didn't think she could but did as she was told. Not long after that she told me that she could not think of living any other way. She told me how happy she was in my service.

I decided that I wanted to make things more permanant so I set down guidelines for earning her collar and then earning her engagement ring.

When she earns her collar I will have the right to be called master. Because only then will I have mastered her body, mind, and soul.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 6:28:19 AM

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LMFAO Ron

/goes into a fit of giggles

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RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 6:46:47 AM

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Finding a name is very important!

One becomes a Master by finding a girl, one becomes a decent human being by looking inward and becoming self aware. Becoming a decent human being is how you become a Master worth submitting to.

Okay, now that I have pontificated on a suitiably abstract and high level so I sound all cool, a couple of questions. Do you have stable vanilla relationships? Do you have drama in your life? Can you hold a job for a long time? Is your life in order? Do you have a future? If you can answer yes to these questions, you are well on your way to where you SHOULD be although I would be 75% or more of the dominants here fail more than a few of those questions, I certainly fail at one of the above.

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 7:10:07 AM

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You self-style yourself "master," "sir," "lady," whatever. Really--these days there is no standard of titles and ranks among BDSMers, so your title has the meaning that you assign to it, and you'll need to explain what that means--and, by extension, what you do--to other people.

Now, you can assign "master" the meaning of "good and honorable person," if you like--and if that helps you to act with greater morality and courtesy, I'm all for it. You can also use "master" as a catchall term for a person who tops or dominates (the two are different things, by the way--topping involves providing sensation, dominating involves accepting obedience). I'd like more careful definitions, but they don't seem forthcoming.

As for a name, lots of people do enjoy having an alias for use in BDSM circles. It's called a "scene name." Please use restraint when selecting your name--don't call yourself Master Lord Big Strong High Poobah, please. If you adopt a scene name, you'll likely use it in casual conversation with fellow BDSMers, and some of these conversations will likely be public. If your chosen name sounds odd when used in requests for chosen pizza toppings, it might be time to reconsider your choice. As a rule, it's always good to choose a relatively short name that could possibly be a birth name. Consider its euphony, too.

How do you become a good person who does BDSM? You should think about what you want currently, and then read books about it, and then think some more. So, if you're interested in inequal power, or d/s relationships, you should read Jack Rinella, The Master's Manual; Christina Abernathy, Miss Abernathy's Slave Training Manual; Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, The Topping Book; and John Warren, The Loving Dominant. You may enjoy Jack Rinella's LeatherViews columns, online, also, and you should seek out lectures on these topics, if possible. If you're interested in developing your skill at play (i.e. bondage, impact), you should seek out books and classes on your preferred skills, and you should practice on your own. Regardless of where you get your information, remember to evaluate it critically, as you should with all information.

Monica

(in reply to soxcuz)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 7:16:06 AM

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To become a Master, I believe that I needed to gain control of my life, I had all of the natural dominant tendencies and the desire to use others for my pleasure, but that just amounts to kinky fun sex, after taking several submissive women and finding their limits and pushing these to get a desired response, or to reshape them to what I desired, I found that I needed more, the hard limits were stopping me from having these women transfer all power to me, and be my slave. I spent a year thinking about what it was that made me “tick” what made me want what I wanted, and what I really wanted, I also thought about do I want a ATP slave. I came to the conclusion that I had to get all of my life in order, be in control of my life and myself before I could go the next step and have a slave. Up to the time that I got myself under control I never felt comfortable calling myself Master, but I now feel that I am worthy of the title Master.

Ranch Master

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 6:06:36 PM

Totalmaster4you

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I'll make this very simple. You can play at being a Master(talk to switches) but you can't become one unless you discover it within you later in life. If you have always thought in terms of Dominence then there are steps you can take to act more Masterly. To be the real deal it's something you were born with.

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RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 6:09:12 PM

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Well, Ron, that all sounds very nice. But you completed screwed up on your name. It's not sir enough for you to be a master. Sorry.

Sincerely,
True Sub

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RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 6:15:41 PM

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all my female slave profiles use the sir configuration.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 9:36:10 PM

Slavetrainer2007

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quote:

ORIGINAL: soxcuz

im trying to learn more about this lifestyle.what do you have to do to become a master? i need to get a name too, right? some people have the prefix sir ive noticed. i appoligize if these are common knowledge questions, but i just visited the website yesterday. anyone care to enlighten me? please email me and help me get a better understanding

using the term "master" itself in these forums will cause pages of debate. Simply, to everyone" master" is something different and so far i have found no valid arguement to prove the term rightly or wrongly used( and personally i think its read way to much into anyway)

To become a master you first have to define what a master is to you? according to webster( and im not quoting this) its 1) to own a slave( i.e an animal or human or such) 2) being extremely skilled at something(i.e master of six languages)

In a humorous theory of mine, you could be extremely skilled at owning slaves and satsify both definations and no one could argue that you arent a master.

In practicially,i think what you are referring to is being dom. Which either you are dom or you not. Its a personality trait not a skill. However, their is a difference between having a dom personality and being able to dominate others. Turning the trait into a skill is what you need to do. You need to learn to dominate.
Which includes but is not limited too( and i assuming you have a dominate personality)
1) learning to control your dominance. IF you come off as an asshole or jerk to most people you need work. This is most important, as if you cant control yourself no one is going to take you seriously
2) learning about being dominate and in a D/s relationship. Knowledge is the key. Research your interest and research being dominate. Watch and learn from other doms on how they handle subs. Alot can be learned from these forums( though i would be cautious on some advice given here) Watch how the Doms interact with subs, how they they respect them, control them( when approiate)
3) Learn to interact with submissives. talk to them. learn how to talk to them.learn their needs as submissives and learn how to find their individual needs. Being dom doesnt mean you get an easy lay. so if thats what you here for your in for a big surprise. Just because they are submissive dont mean you can walk all over them and they will do what you want. in fact your likely to find the opposite, submission is rarely given lightly.

4) research. research your interest, this lifestyle, get others views and experinences.

5) find a sub that can maybe help you along. You might be able to do this with a dom. But ive found it alot easier if your taught by your opposite.

6) learning to control another person.... this is for advanced users only !

To become a master you will have to do all the above and more. Expect a long journey and alot of learning both about yourself and about a D/s relationship. Then one day, a sub just might call you Master. In which you will then be a Master in that subs eyes.

< Message edited by Slavetrainer2007 -- 4/3/2007 9:41:40 PM >

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RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 10:08:41 PM

crouchingtigress

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yeah my experience was similar to master firemams and rons.....master Steve, kirk and family are legends in the lifestyle and their wisdom and kindness have influenced every aspect of my evolution in this life....but then so were my colossal fuck ups....of which there were many.

read some books, go to some munches, keep an open mind and remember you are not doing it right if it is not fun.

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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/3/2007 10:24:54 PM

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You will NOT 'become' a master on the net. You must be worthy first of any submssion...then a relationship can develope. Eventually a M/s relationship evolves over time and most often requires a fairly long gestation period. Once you have and only upon having a collared slave...do you actually 'become' a master. Until anyone has an actual collared slave...they are NOT a master or mistress.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/4/2007 1:29:53 AM

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What a "Master" is varies radically.

This lifestyle is, in part, about finding and understanding yourself and those you come into close interaction with. "Master" is a generic title many with a highly dominant stance use.

For me, I've always been a "Master", though it took me a good long time to realize the stance. I always had a dominant role in relationships. It wasn't until I was sixteen did I have my first slave. It wasn't until I was nineteen did I learn about BDSM and adopt the title "Master", finally realizing I wasn't the only sicko in the world who acted so.

How much you chose to draw on 'the community' is entirely your progative. There's a strong empathesis, from many, on "Master"'s being trained, educated, etc. If this works for you- if this is what you need- by all means, you may seek it. I would like to point out the option of self-reliance.

Self-reliance is a big deal with me. I've learned almost everything I know from myself. Now in a university under a double Chemical Engineering/Physics major- not to brag, but it's necessary to point out this isn't a typically "bullshitable" course study- I make a point of it to learn things and discover them on my own. This means skipping classes. Not buying text books. And doing well enough on exams and projects to make up for the things I wasn't there for to carry the GPA.

It doesn't have to be such a big deal for others. I'm doing it because I feel it's right. When I do something, in this lifestyle or in my coming career, I will fully understand why I do it and the reasons I've chosen to. This is not to say I fully understand the subject- next person to tell me "1 + 1 = 2" is "just because" will get backhanded. Just, this is the way I see it best to go about finding truth in this life because its passing.

Long rant to the point, my friend, if you have the heart and mind, you may simply chose what it means to be a "Master" to you. You may adopt the English-BDSM term "Master" for it if it, in general, meets the criteria of being a "Master", which may well have been what your question was inquiring about. If this is so, a "Master", in my understanding, is one who is controlling of (an)other(s) to the point of that person being, for all intents and purposes, regarded as one's personal property. There are a number of moral, ethical, and other sorts of guidelines many feel are necessary to impose upon the definition; these are optional, at one's personal disgression.

Regards.

(in reply to soxcuz)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/5/2007 2:30:37 AM

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One looks deeply within to find their natural set point on the continuum between control and surrender. That is who you are, not what you become. One must first master both control and surrender within, before exercising the authority of either in relationship.

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RE: how do u become a master? - 4/6/2007 3:17:42 PM

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Personally, I am working on answering some of these questions with "YES" first...

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Okay, now that I have pontificated on a suitiably abstract and high level so I sound all cool, a couple of questions. Do you have stable vanilla relationships? Do you have drama in your life? Can you hold a job for a long time? Is your life in order? Do you have a future?

Then maybe I will be able to focus on some of these things after that...

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I began to listen to people like Master Steve Sampson/slave kirk, Master Skip Chasey/slave rick/slave alia/slave caroline, SlaveMaster/slave nick/other of his natural born slaves, Master Bert Cutler/slave nadine, Mistess Susan/slave boi ziggy, Sir Stephen/slave catherine, Master Scott/slavette...and others really too numerous to name. I found these people at national events that are designed as Master/slave conferences. The events that were/are most influential for me:
Southwest Leather Conference
South Plains Leather Conference
Master/slave Conference

Other events available along the same lines:
Southeast Leather Fest
Great Lakes Leather Alliance

I also went to specific training academies/events:
Butchmanns
Master Taino's Training Academy

Then maybe when I have some substance, I will have a cool name like "Master Rabbit"

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 4/6/2007 3:19:07 PM >

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RE: how do u become a master? - 4/6/2007 3:45:34 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

I'll make this very simple. You can play at being a Master(talk to switches) but you can't become one unless you discover it within you later in life. If you have always thought in terms of Dominence then there are steps you can take to act more Masterly. To be the real deal it's something you were born with.

I have to take issue with the "talk to switches" remark in parenthesis. Are you suggesting that a switch cannot be a Master or that switches only "play at" being Masters? That's what I think you're saying and I gotta tell you, this perception is so incorrect I don't even have words for it. A person can and many do, identify as switch...and some choose the role of switch, or of sub or of Master. I've said it somewhere before, and yes, it's only my opinion, still, I believe it's correct that orientation is one thing while role is/can be quite another.

MNN

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)

RE: how do u become a master? - 4/6/2007 8:32:12 PM

Laura

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If you really want to be a master watch Star Wars a lot. Titles mean nothing. You can stick Sir in front of any name you want that just means you know how to spell it.

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