Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist?

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Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 7:09:27 AM

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this one respectfully has a legitimate question...
Why do nearly ALL the Masters she meets have to also have a strong Sadistic streak? Time after time she hears or reads where a Master would be interested in this one, and he will ask, "do you enjoy being spanked or whipped?" or a multitude of things that cause pain.
When this one will tell a potential Master she is not into pain and pain to her is punishment, the Master goes away. <sighs>

this is not a slave who will act up to get "punished" because she likes it, nor does she need to be toughened up to serve a Master, as she has gotten from some... she's been trained to be as sensitive as she can be, and pain endorphins don't work for her the same way they do for one that enjoys the pain.

Another thing she's noticed is that many feel the need to degrade and humilate her because she is female. she is proud of her gender and proud of her service to offer it to a Master. It is where she belongs, at his feet. she doesn't serve because she is a lowly creature, beneath a superior gender...

So, in reality, her question is twofold... why are most Masters also Sadists, and where are the ones who are not?

ada

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ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 7:49:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi

So, in reality, her question is twofold... why are most Masters also Sadists, and where are the ones who are not?

Because using fetish play is a common method of expressing dominance and submission. While its far from being the only way to express it, there is something poignant about someone being willing to suffer for someone else. Even religion is not immune to this. There are however, those who don't engage in the various forms of pain play, or who don't find it necessary. As to where they are, keep looking, they're out there.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 7:53:14 AM

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no not all masters are sadists and i am not a sadist.If you are intersted in chatting.Just drop me a line

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 8:09:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourmaster1969

no not all masters are sadists and i am not a sadist.If you are intersted in chatting.Just drop me a line

(why do I think that this is code for 'and the next thread I respond to I will mention that I am cruel beyond belief because that's what the OP wants to hear')

Painplay is often one of the entry-points for people who fall within the umbrella of BDSM and it's offshoots. As Padriag suggests, there is something very interesting about a woman who feels that her submission should include (to a degree that it makes sense to her) enduring what pleases the dominant for their sake. There are certainly women here who don't 'like pain', because naturally it's painful, but they enjoy it for the sake of their partner.

For me, it's more finding a balance that makes a relationship healthy and enduring. I'm probably thought of as intimidating as often as interesting because I freely admit that I've gained significance in most every aspect of 'what we do', and that I'd do it all again. But if a partner cannot fathom some parts of that, then I can readily say that I don't need to be with someone who wants it all. I can tailor our activities for what makes sense (what she likes, how I might want to push the boundaries a bit).

I would like to believe that this doesn't make me any less dominant, but perhaps a little more realistic and mature. Every relationship varies, and needs to be considered for what it is.

Jeff

< Message edited by mstrjx -- 4/7/2007 8:10:14 AM >

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 8:15:55 AM

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There are many things this one endures simply because a Master wishes her to, and she is happy to do them for him because he enjoys it or seeing her do it for him. pain is something this one lives with everyday, it isn't play to her, and never has been, even tough she has been in the lifestyle over 25 years.

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ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 9:29:05 AM

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Also remember that most who say they are sadistic, only really like it when YOU like it. If you aren't enjoying it and getting off on it and spacing from it, it's rare that they will enjoy that.

But sometimes they do.

As always, take what works for you and leave the rest.

Also, sadism is one of the quickest easiest ways to provoke a reaction and make someone feel vulnerable- and most doms are really lazy :)

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(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 9:34:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

and most doms are really lazy :)

I resemble that remark!!

Remember the old joke...

Masochist says "Whip me, whip me!"
Sadist says "No!"

I love a goof mind-fook... keep a sub off balance, confused, and wondering what's going to happen next.

I hate causing, deliberately or even worse through inaction or inattentiveness, any kind of injury.

Does that make me a Sadist, or just sadistic? :D

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 11:48:41 AM

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Not every Master desires an SM relationship...but it's rare. Keep looking for what you want. It might take time and you might have to look in a lot of different places, but what you want does exist.

Master Fire

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 11:55:32 AM

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adanaydi,

I am sure your mailbox will be filled with dominants telling
you they are exactly what you are looking for. Some are
into control, some are into pain as an expression of that
control and there is no line, there is a very large gray area.

In the final analysis this type of relationship is what the two
of you choose to build together. The only objection I would
have to your original post is your phrase:

quote:

Why do nearly ALL the Masters

How many do you need? If you only need one and you
are having to sort through the rest, welcome to the club.

Outlier

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the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 12:16:29 PM

Slavetrainer2007

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OP: not all doms are into pain. While pain is an interest of mine,i dont consider myself a sadist. Its not one of my favorite interest and dont bother me to do without most of the time. Im sure their are quite a few doms that arent into pain or even dislike it. You just have to be patient and sort through all of us.

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 12:32:16 PM

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No not at all just happens that sadist types are also strong stubborn types

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 12:38:17 PM

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NO not all are into pain however most are,I am a sadist and make no bones about it.YOUR pain my pleasure...OF course just the preference of this ol
master ...bounty

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 1:03:23 PM

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No, not all Masters are sadists. I'd hazard to guess a good portion aren't.

Don't take offense to those that have walked away when you told them you're not a masochist. Sadism/masochism is as important to some as gender and sexual preference. It's not that they dislike you, they're just looking for a different form of relationship.

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 1:11:23 PM

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your question: Does being a master mean you're also a sadist?

simple answer: no

Sadistic tendencies & masochistic tendencies are not required when defining one's role

Many relationships do not even incorporate sadomasochistic activities within their dynamic. (physical or emotional)

As to your second question... I can't comment on your personal experience or exposure. I can't agree that there are more or even less who are or are not. Everyone will have a different perspective as to the ratios they encounter. All I can say is if you seek one who is not sadistic then you need to not settle for or remain with one who is.

We each seek out our own defined criteria & our success is determined by sticking to it & not deviating from it. Of course when you hone down the specifics you reduce the pool you select from... but don't view this as a negative. The end result is that you will find a match that is comfortable for both.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/7/2007 1:23:08 PM >

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 1:18:46 PM

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I wouldn't consider myself sdist, although I have been called cruel. Not sure why though. I don't believe causing one pain...hitting or what have ya, simply because I can. I won't however, hesitate to punish one if I see a reason.

As for pain...kinda like a little pain on myself actually. :P Yea I know..i'm wierd.

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 1:29:30 PM

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this one doesn't take offense at ones who say they are a Sadist and go away... she isn't the one who would be able to please them. It be the ones that this one will tell she is not a masochist who come back with the clever lil phrases like, "that is because you haven't tried it" or "I haven't owned you yet, and I can train anyone to be a pain slut" that really get to this one.

she also realizes there are Masters with a slight sadistic nature who don't need to give pain to a girl to satisfy that nature. To some, being able to just command a girl and have it carried out without question is enough, or bondage is an avenue that satisfies or pleases their sadistic side.

this one likes the loss of control of bondage herself, but when it begins to pinch or cause pressure on her joints or bend her into posistions that are not real comfortable after half an hour and things become painful, it's no longer a turn on for her.

to ada, the sexiest Master to her is one who doesn't need these types of things to command this one, they're just play time for him... the sexy Master simply is, he doesn't ask this one's preferences, he commands she give them. <smiles>

ada

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ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

(in reply to CuriousLord)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 1:36:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi

this one doesn't take offense at ones who say they are a Sadist and go away... she isn't the one who would be able to please them. It be the ones that this one will tell she is not a masochist who come back with the clever lil phrases like, "that is because you haven't tried it" or "I haven't owned you yet, and I can train anyone to be a pain slut" that really get to this one.

ada

ada... you've at least found a very quick way to slam the door in their arrogant sadistic faces.

those comments are the quickest indicator that you have just encounter a bloated bastard with an ego so big he truly doesn't have space to share with another living soul.

Don't fret yourself over this class of beast... they aren't worth it.

PS... these are also the ones that will inform the dominant ladies out there that they just haven't met the right master yet

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/7/2007 1:37:30 PM >

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 1:55:27 PM

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this one wishes to thank you for your words, Mistress.

a girl's last owner was a very much a gentleman for the first three years he owned this one, then of a sudden, nothing she could do was right, and he would begin whipping, cropping or spanking this one without warning, for some perceived wrongdoing. He would leave one alone after whipping her until he drew blood and stuffing her in a dark closet to "sit and think about what you did wrong".
Her protesting and begging that this was not good for her and was hurting her both physically and mentally went unheeded by him.
It was nearly a relief when he abandoned this one to beg the collar of a Domme.

Understandably, she is a bit gunshy about one who is a Sadist now. As much as she would like to understand what and why pain is used, she's scared, and it hurts, and she doesn't see where her suffering pleased him at all.

ada

_____________________________

ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

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RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 1:55:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi

this one doesn't take offense at ones who say they are a Sadist and go away... she isn't the one who would be able to please them. It be the ones that this one will tell she is not a masochist who come back with the clever lil phrases like, "that is because you haven't tried it" or "I haven't owned you yet, and I can train anyone to be a pain slut" that really get to this one.

Don't worry hun...people like that get me as well. It's as if they feel they are better then us..we all know they aren't.

she also realizes there are Masters with a slight sadistic nature who don't need to give pain to a girl to satisfy that nature. To some, being able to just command a girl and have it carried out without question is enough, or bondage is an avenue that satisfies or pleases their sadistic side.

K, I admit...I may have a sadistic side....I just wouldn't call myself sadistic. As said, I don't give pain simply because I can. However...should my slave desire....I might be able to. Depends.

this one likes the loss of control of bondage herself, but when it begins to pinch or cause pressure on her joints or bend her into posistions that are not real comfortable after half an hour and things become painful, it's no longer a turn on for her.

Can't say as I blame ya there kid. Let's face it...joints only go one direction. Try to ned the knee upwards can become quite painful.

to ada, the sexiest Master to her is one who doesn't need these types of things to command this one, they're just play time for him... the sexy Master simply is, he doesn't ask this one's preferences, he commands she give them. <smiles>

Good luck luv. Hope you find the master you search for.

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/7/2007 1:55:49 PM

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I would find it hard to believe that most Masters don't have at least a bit of a sadistic streak in them. But that is a far cry from being a sadist. For example, I never have had an interest in sadistically causing someone pain, even a masochist. Nothing wrong with it, just not my scene.

But as my slave will attest, a have a devilishly sadistic streak that has nothing to do with pain. Very often I get her to thinking about a new level of her training, but only give her the barest idea of what it is about and what is going to happen. Then I leave her to stew about what I have planned for her. Drives her crazy. I love it. No physical harm of any kind.

I never degrade or humiliate. Our relationship is about mutual growth. It has been my experience there are a lot out there with a style like mine. Most Masters are not sadists; it's just a matter of taking the time to find the right one for you.

Is there something about you or your personality that might attract Masters who are sadists? Only reason I ask is that it seems unusual to only be meeting Masters who are.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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