RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (Full Version)

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BBBTBW -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 8:28:00 AM)

Ever since I was a young girl I have wanted a "house husband"  as they were called back then.  The idea was always so attractive.  When I asked my mother about it, she told me it was because the man was too lazy to get up and go to work.  I never subscribed to her line of thinking and kept thinking how wonderful it would be.

In the present, he would have to work from home or be retired and receiving a pension or social security or something to bring home some bacon but I love the idea of someone staying home to tend to the home while I go out and work. 

This is one of my goals.  However, I have found that some male wives don't want to have to bring home any bacon, they just want to cook and clean and be chained up all other times.  I must say folks that is not a realistic scenerio for most of us.



BossySSBBW -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 8:36:13 AM)

If anyone has an extra wife hanging around they don't need I will take him...lol.  That is exactly what I have been looking for.  :)



DivaZya -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 8:58:35 AM)

I really like Karen's set up - and while I would still work, travel and make connections. 
My wife should be able to handle having to watch My Primary being tormented and enjoyed instead of him. team up with My Primary on home projects and play as I direct.
To keep the new wife on his toes, his part time job - maybe at  at Home Depot  would give him a chance to show off and keep a very real sence of financial value to add to My Life.  A male wife would become the second male around. the mostly helper boy.
Cooking & cleaning for both of Us.. caring,  sharing - and on the lookout for the helper girl to join Us too!
I love the name change, I think a male changing his name to Mine - more clearly than even a collar - he's showing the world without words who he is. 
Diva~Zya



Dusty15 -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 10:10:19 AM)

After reading this post and doing a lot of thinking I would love to find someone to be that husband wife



DawnFire -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 1:50:39 PM)

Yeah, me and my boy have the understanding that if we do get married, that will be the arrangement. It's kinda cute really.  He is the one that wants a family (although I've told him since he isn't the one that would have to be pregnant, it's going to be a small one) He likes to cook, clean... it just works.



PhDslave -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 2:16:41 PM)

Dear DV,

It was directed to the group. i can see Your reasoning.  25 years IS a big gap in ages.  You seem to have a lot to offer a guy of any age, but it would probably work much better with someone a little closer to 30.



AAkasha -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 2:35:10 PM)

A lot of submissives think the idea of being a "male wife" is attractive, but you have to realize what you are giving up, arguably and what your reality becomes:

* Earning power.  The longer you are officially out of the rat race, if you are completely a stay-at-home-sub, the more difficult it is to get back into earning power if things go sour.
* Lack of social interaction with peers.  You will be at home all day, not with buddies at the office or workplace, and it's a lonlier job.
* Lack of ladder climbing.  If you are not in a career, you will not have the same satisfaction of accomplishment, unless you pat yourself on the back each time you get a load of laundry done.
* Peer pressure.  What will your buddies say when they are all talking about their work accomplishments and you can only talk about washing dishes and cooking meals?  What will your mother say, and your sisters?
* Lack of intellectual growth.  What will you be learning? What new challenges come from picking up your wife's dry cleaning, organizing her shoe closet or clipping coupons for the grocery store visit?
*The emasculating nature of the job.  Can you still be a "man" to her in the way she needs?
*Initiative or failure.  It sounds like an easy job, but unless you are an incredible SELF STARTER with very little need for direction, praise or hand holding, you will fail miserably!!

All of these things are very, very real challenges.  I have had "stay at home" subs before that were a pain in the ass. They slept until noon, played video games all hours of the night and let the place get cluttered.  I never thought a man would be able to handle the tasks and keep his ego together in such a thankless role.  I relied on paid maids for the most parts and a man happy to eat out a lot. I don't have a domestic bone in my body.

Thankfully I haven't had a maid in 5 years now and all my meals are cooked (and not just microwaved; he's a genuine chef who enjoys being in the kitchen). All the above things I have listed are real challenges that we've addressed as a couple, but they are not as easy to "fix" and are real considerations.

Any other femdoms with stay at home subs who have experienced the same?

Akasha



DawnFire -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 2:50:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

A lot of submissives think the idea of being a "male wife" is attractive, but you have to realize what you are giving up, arguably and what your reality becomes:

* Earning power.  The longer you are officially out of the rat race, if you are completely a stay-at-home-sub, the more difficult it is to get back into earning power if things go sour.
* Lack of social interaction with peers.  You will be at home all day, not with buddies at the office or workplace, and it's a lonlier job.
* Lack of ladder climbing.  If you are not in a career, you will not have the same satisfaction of accomplishment, unless you pat yourself on the back each time you get a load of laundry done.
* Peer pressure.  What will your buddies say when they are all talking about their work accomplishments and you can only talk about washing dishes and cooking meals?  What will your mother say, and your sisters?
* Lack of intellectual growth.  What will you be learning? What new challenges come from picking up your wife's dry cleaning, organizing her shoe closet or clipping coupons for the grocery store visit?
*The emasculating nature of the job.  Can you still be a "man" to her in the way she needs?
*Initiative or failure.  It sounds like an easy job, but unless you are an incredible SELF STARTER with very little need for direction, praise or hand holding, you will fail miserably!!

All of these things are very, very real challenges.  I have had "stay at home" subs before that were a pain in the ass. They slept until noon, played video games all hours of the night and let the place get cluttered.  I never thought a man would be able to handle the tasks and keep his ego together in such a thankless role.  I relied on paid maids for the most parts and a man happy to eat out a lot. I don't have a domestic bone in my body.

Thankfully I haven't had a maid in 5 years now and all my meals are cooked (and not just microwaved; he's a genuine chef who enjoys being in the kitchen). All the above things I have listed are real challenges that we've addressed as a couple, but they are not as easy to "fix" and are real considerations.

Any other femdoms with stay at home subs who have experienced the same?

Akasha



Women have been doing it for centuries.  Our Foremothers could handle it, why the heck can't a man be expected to handle it?  If your boy knows that he'll be punished for laziness the videogame problem isn't an issue.



MistressTaboo -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 4:46:36 PM)

My “house husband” works from home (so do I). He makes twice what I do, but I get to say how it’s all spent.
He cooks, he cleans, and he helps with the kids. He is currently outside doing yard work. He'll come in, make dinner, and do the dishes. He will check homework and later tonight, I'll play him and before I go to bed I’ll get a nice massage.
He hands me toys and takes pictures when I play others.  He advices when I need a male sub’s opinion. He’s famous in the local scene for his meals and his tech skills.
He can be a tad defiant but it comes from being a high-level consultant all day…sometimes he forgets to turn off the attitude. Nothing that can’t be fixed.  Sometimes 3 kids and small herd of animals get the best of him…but all it takes is a day of everyone pitching in to set things straight.
He did NOT take my name because I was using my previous married name and the last thing we wanted was the X’s last name. So I took his, but looking back on it we wish we had all gone with my maiden name. Yea his parents would have cowed, but it would have been worth it. My family doesn’t get it, my mother constantly tells me if I don’t stop abusing my husband by making him do everything he’s going to leave me. *grins* little does she know.

After being married Kink….there is NO way I could ever go back to vanilla. Part of my issues with my X was both of us trying to be the one in charge. He sucked at it but he wouldn’t let me be it either.  It wasn’t macho enough for him. I don’t have those problems with my current husband. He knows who is in charge. When we go visit his friends they expect some incredible food and they know it’s not my cooking!     It’s WONDERFUL every woman should have a house husband!

Mistress Taboo
 



lockedaway -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 4:52:31 PM)

Dear MistressTaboo,

i was in a relationship substantially similar to what You have with Your husband/sub.  i would LOVE to find that again and will feel very much adrift until i do.  i applaud You on Your successful relationship.



Vendaval -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 5:05:29 PM)

My #1 boy is great as an all around house "wife",
cooks, bakes, likes to shop, cleans, does laundry,
repairs broken items, fixes cars, does yard work,
sewing repairs, fixes my hair, etc.
He is the androgynous one.
 
The #2 boy is a manly -  man, he is good at
"husbandly" duties like repairing and fixing things,
yard work, will go to the store when needed, etc. 
But he is barred from the kitchen after starting
a fire on a bar-b-que.  One call to the
Fire Department was enough.



petdave -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 5:39:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
* Lack of ladder climbing.  If you are not in a career, you will not have the same satisfaction of accomplishment, unless you pat yourself on the back each time you get a load of laundry done.
...
* Lack of intellectual growth.  What will you be learning? What new challenges come from picking up your wife's dry cleaning, organizing her shoe closet or clipping coupons for the grocery store visit?



i still haven't had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home housepet, but that is the thing i desire most out of life...
A lot of your issues have to do with the nature of the individual... while i can see the peer pressure/ambition/social interaction/"being a man" as issues for some people, they all mean less than nothing to me (though i'll admit that i'm fairly damaged). As for finding personal satisfaction and knowledge, though... i can't imagine a better scenario. Since i can do a half-assed job of keeping house even when i'm not in it for 50-odd hours a week, i can only dream of the opportunities that being home would give for self-improvement, learning, and accomplishments that actually mean something to me (as opposed to accomplishments at work, which are fleeting at best). i've got a stack of books and literally hundreds of PC bookmarks on building things- carpentry, metal casting, blacksmithing, gardening, computer programming, laying fiberglass, small engine repair, painting... i can't imagine being bored by free time, at least not for the first ten or twenty years [:)] Hell, if i retired now, it would probably take me five years just to get through my current "honeydo" list!

...dave



MzMia -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 7:32:46 PM)

I agree with your post AAkasha, but everyone that I know that is married works.
Husband and wife, unless they are retired.
My mother worked full-time, earned a Masters Degree, ran a home and raised 2 UM's.
I can't think of any reason why my submissive cannot work full-time and take care of our home,
unless he is disabled, retired or wealthy.
**Now working from home could be a plus**
If I get up and go to work, so is he, unless or until one of us becomes a billionaire.
Women are running mult-millionaire companies and working and raising children at the same time,
it is something that I am used to.

I admire the fact that is works for you, but for me and many others....our submissive WIFE  NOT working
is not an option.



BeachMystress -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/11/2007 9:43:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DawnFire
although I've told him since he isn't the one that would have to be pregnant, it's going to be a small one

I told my "wife" that if he ever wanted me to give birth to a baby the size of a small watermelon, he'd have to be able to insert a full size, inflated regulation football up his tight lil ass. Strangely enough, that quelled his desire to have children. *sweet smile*



TheDiva -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/12/2007 2:40:39 AM)

The idea of a male wife appeals to me. I'm ill-qualified for the "traditional wifey" job...I rarely cook, don't plan on being a baby machine, and I don't go around singing as I dust and vacuum. Having a sub hub to cook and do household chores would be great, although I wouldn't want one who wasn't working. I envision a situation in which we both work, but he assumes the majority of household duties. Or one in which he is retired or semi-retired but works part-time (I would continue to work full-time). The ideal age range for such an arrangement would be 40s to 50s; having a 20-something or 30-something male wife wouldn't do it for me.



SweetDommes -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/12/2007 2:48:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I admire the fact that is works for you, but for me and many others....our submissive WIFE  NOT working
is not an option.


Unfortunately, this is very true.  We are managing ok with the three of us and our zoo ... with a few perks now and again, although we are about to put out a great deal of money on repairs for various things on our house so the perks are gonna have to be put on hold for a bit.  To add another person to our household, with the added costs of having an extra person in the house ... well, yeah, he'll have to have a part time job (unless he works from home, then he could work as much or as little as needed for the extra income). 

And anyway, because of health issues, if anyone gets to stay at home full time, it will be Holly before anyone else - and due to the stress of my work, I'd like to be able to go down to part time or PRN.  Holly does some craft things that she makes money by selling online, so she would like to be able to stay at home full time and do that - but we just can't afford to lose the income of her job right now (we would end up scraping to get by if she quit now). 



HutchGarahl -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/12/2007 3:24:52 AM)

Not sure I could ever remarry...specially after experiencing my first. But it's not totally out of the question I suppose. Person would have to be extremely special.

As for a male wife....Sounds like heaven. I have been talking with a guy who could actually be just that, if he's in fact true to what he says about himself. We'll be meeting up next month face to face...the decission will be made then and if all goes according to plan, he'll be collared.

He would of course be working, but it's a home job...so he'll be able to take care of the home easily and me as well.



lingerieboy -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/12/2007 3:53:36 AM)

i would dearly love to be a housewife i like cooking and cleaning i enjoy ironing even  run your bath paint your nails brush your hair here is so much to do being the wife i would love to look after a woman like that



DawnFire -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/12/2007 6:58:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

I told my "wife" that if he ever wanted me to give birth to a baby the size of a small watermelon, he'd have to be able to insert a full size, inflated regulation football up his tight lil ass. Strangely enough, that quelled his desire to have children. *sweet smile*



That is so awesome.  Thanks, gave me a good laugh.  Can't they just cut the kids out of me?  I would really prefer the scar to the pain.  I'm thinking twins.  Then I only have to be pregnant once.  Lol



TigressFL -> RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? (4/12/2007 9:59:45 AM)

While I like the “idea” of someone being at my beckon call 24/7 for me it would not work realistically. As a result, my answer would be “No”.  I would not want someone to stay home all the time. I work from home so having anyone in the house all the time would drive me nuts. I would rather they work a full-time job (M-F 8-5). I would keep the housekeeper that I have coming in once a week so he or she would have more time to spend with me not doing chores because that is important to me. He or she would still have responsibilities within the household like general pickup, laundry, cooking, lawn mowing, cleaning the cars, shopping, etc. on a schedule that I create allowing us to spend as much time together as possible. In addition, I think it is important for them to stay viable within the workplace. Should something ever happen to me I want to know they can stand on their own two feet immediately. This will also help when it comes time for retirement. More social security paid in, a retirement program, benefits, etc.

Tigress~FL




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