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RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 8:16:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

Dianna, I think many men have the fantasy they would be able to stay at home.
I don't think most women share that same fantasy.
I know I don't, I am with you on this one.
There is no reason that I can think of why the male wife can not work outside the home
and still be a great wife.
Women have been wives and worked outside the home for years, I see no reason why a
man can't hold down an outside job and still be a great wife.

This is true but it is also true that women do and have made the choice to stay home and not work for pay outside of that home. There are still pressures on women to do this from some parts of society today.

Is it not unfair then to say to men that they should not have that same choice as women?

Perhaps it isn't a matter of fairness because of Ds or because of gender expectations.

However if I get my tenure tack job next year and I make enough to support us and either Tom or Fox want to stay home and take on the bulk of household work and management, I would personally feel wrong to tell them that they could not do that simply because they are men. That's my personal take, I am not trying to tell anyone that they need to agree with me.

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(in reply to VeryMercurial)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 8:45:31 AM

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I think it is unreasonable (D/s or no D/s) to expect one partner to manage the home (clean, cook, shop, pay bills, effect repairs, rear the child, etc.) and hold a fulltime job.

In our home, we split the apple. I work part time and manage the home, and my wife works fulltime.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 8:50:01 AM

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I actually had a slave once that ran a sucessful business, came home at 5:30PM, cooked dinner, served me, massaged me every single night and on weekends cleaned and did laundry.

I'm much happier having time to garden, go to the spa and salon and not being bothered with any of it. I have a few business dealings but thanks to my phone slaves and visiting slaves I can afford to spend time on my sites and doing what I enjoy. If I had the right live-in slave all would truly be perfect. Its not that I don't have offers, I do...I'm just waiting for the right connection. I think I explained this in my previous post.

Tammy Jo kudos to you! I know you've worked very hard and you truly are an asset to your family. I think one of them staying home and handling the household is an excellent idea.

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RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 11:09:25 AM

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Dear Mz Mia,
Your post sounds exactly like my profile (when I had it filled)... So, yes, count me among the fem doms who seek a male for the slaving wife role.
I will never change my last name, my lil one has my last name, and if I consider becoming attached again, my sub/slave would be the one taking my name. As for work, I would expect mine to work outside the home, even if only part time for the finances as well as his mental health (in my opinion) of having access to the outside world. M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 2:15:34 PM

MzMia

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Good luck finding one BTF, it will be so worth it when we do!

I also agree with both cloudboy and DiannaVesta, I would still do a few things
around the house.
What I find so funny is in traditional vanilla marriages whether the woman works
outside or inside the home, she is expected to normally keep the home together.
Yet, there seems to be a debate regarding whether the man can do both!!
Women have always had to keep the damn house clean, even if they have 5 children
and work 2 jobs.
I don't know hardly any women in my area that have the luxury of not working.
With the divorce rate soaring, single women that work full time and raise children is certainly the norm!
The idea that a man could not work and attend to domestic chores is ludicrous at best.
The debate is not whether he CAN work and do domestic chores, the issue is whether or not he wants to!
If you don't want to? Then don't become a wife!!

This debate is amusing to me.

It is for each household vanilla or BDSM to decide together how it will be run.
To me it goes without saying that is someone claims to be a submissive and wants to the called
the WIFE, that they are going to do a certain amout of domestic chores!!!
No one said all submissives WANT to be wives, that is why I created the thread.
I want a wife that will do as I said in the OP, of course for you males that do not desire to be
someone's wife, again don't become a wife, this situation is not for everyone!!!!

I want a wife, and I plan on eventually getting a male wife!

To each their own!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 4/13/2007 2:23:00 PM >

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To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 3:05:18 PM

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Speaking as a wannabe the concept is long overdue and welcomed.....at least by me. I guess I`ve been one all my life but didn`t realize it. If I`m doing all the cooking, laundry, housekeeping, property & vehicle maintenance, shopping and the like, plus working a full-time job, why not do it for someone who appreciates it. It is even more appealing if a level of feminization is encouraged.Where do you sign up?

(in reply to DawnFire)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 3:12:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I think it is unreasonable (D/s or no D/s) to expect one partner to manage the home (clean, cook, shop, pay bills, effect repairs, rear the child, etc.) and hold a fulltime job.

In our home, we split the apple. I work part time and manage the home, and my wife works fulltime.

I agree...that would be asking too much really. The place I live now works great. He works, brings in the money needed to finance the home, pay bills or whatever. He doesn't do anything at home unless it's something that needs fixing and i'm unable to.

My girlfriend does all the cooking, grocery shopping....

I do the household chores.

Now, should things work between myself and my potential...we get our own place...tho he will be working, he will handle all the household chores and whatnot. It's what he wants. In a sense, he will be my wife. I'll take care of all the finances, managemet of the home, stuff like that.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 3:41:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
The idea that a man could not work and attend to domestic chores is ludicrous at best.
The debate is not whether he CAN work and do domestic chores, the issue is whether or not he wants to!

i certainly wouldn't debate that it's impossible for a man to do both, just that if you (general you ) want somebody to work full-time, do *everything* around the house, AND be a partner/friend/lover (and of course i understand that not everyone expects one person to fill both roles), something is going to give. i am in agreement with thetammyjo that there's an ingrained double-standard- a female submissive can be "just" a housewife (particularly if she's also a mother), but the general expectation is that a male submissive MUST contribute financially to a household regardless of how much he does around the house. As a person who does have a lot of "service sub" drive, i find it frustrating that with our current situation, there's always a stack of things that are un-done, or not done to satisfaction, because my job leaves me exhausted, with little free time during the week, and often depressed and/or angry. If i could devote the working hours to getting the household projects done, and the evenings to my wife, i think both of us would be much happier. But, modern "life" being what it is, that's the way things will be at least until our mortgage is paid off.

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 9:03:32 PM

MiladyAngelique

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quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
The idea that a man could not work and attend to domestic chores is ludicrous at best.
The debate is not whether he CAN work and do domestic chores, the issue is whether or not he wants to!

i certainly wouldn't debate that it's impossible for a man to do both, just that if you (general you ) want somebody to work full-time, do *everything* around the house, AND be a partner/friend/lover (and of course i understand that not everyone expects one person to fill both roles), something is going to give. i am in agreement with thetammyjo that there's an ingrained double-standard- a female submissive can be "just" a housewife (particularly if she's also a mother), but the general expectation is that a male submissive MUST contribute financially to a household regardless of how much he does around the house. As a person who does have a lot of "service sub" drive, i find it frustrating that with our current situation, there's always a stack of things that are un-done, or not done to satisfaction, because my job leaves me exhausted, with little free time during the week, and often depressed and/or angry. If i could devote the working hours to getting the household projects done, and the evenings to my wife, i think both of us would be much happier. But, modern "life" being what it is, that's the way things will be at least until our mortgage is paid off.

It doesn't always need to be full time work (each situtation is different) and it isn't as though We are saying We will give up our jobs for him to support Us plus he will have to clean cook etc etc. What the common thread has been is that he will NEED to work because current finiancal climate means in most household two people are req to work to support the house. Anyway I watched My mother work full time, raise two kids plus work a second job most weekends when her primary job allowed her too and have to do 90% of the housework until I reached an age where I could sufficently help. My father worked.... well most of the time.... he also had the second job but he did nothing around the house he prefered o go out with his mates and leave a mess around for mum.
I expect that my boy WILL have to contribute financially not because I want him to because I will need him too, especially if ums come along.

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All men are animals, some just provide better fur coats

(in reply to petdave)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 9:44:42 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
The idea that a man could not work and attend to domestic chores is ludicrous at best.
The debate is not whether he CAN work and do domestic chores, the issue is whether or not he wants to!

i certainly wouldn't debate that it's impossible for a man to do both, just that if you (general you ) want somebody to work full-time, do *everything* around the house, AND be a partner/friend/lover (and of course i understand that not everyone expects one person to fill both roles), something is going to give. i am in agreement with thetammyjo that there's an ingrained double-standard- a female submissive can be "just" a housewife (particularly if she's also a mother), but the general expectation is that a male submissive MUST contribute financially to a household regardless of how much he does around the house. As a person who does have a lot of "service sub" drive, i find it frustrating that with our current situation, there's always a stack of things that are un-done, or not done to satisfaction, because my job leaves me exhausted, with little free time during the week, and often depressed and/or angry. If i could devote the working hours to getting the household projects done, and the evenings to my wife, i think both of us would be much happier. But, modern "life" being what it is, that's the way things will be at least until our mortgage is paid off.

Ah petdave, what a wonderful post! Your wife is so lucky to have you, at least you care and are willing to
help as much as you can. The main thing is that you are happy and have each other, don't worry about having
a perfect house, focus more on the time you can spend together, you sound like a gem!
The fact that you do help around the house and you care, is all that matters. I agree I would not want a man
that was too tired from working and domestic chores to have anything left to give me!
Everything in moderation, and make a lot of time for you both. Again, if you are in a 2 income home, maybe
getting an occasional cleaning service is what you need. If I had a 2 income household, I would sure the hell
get a cleaning service! Thanks for the post.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to petdave)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/13/2007 11:59:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
The idea that a man could not work and attend to domestic chores is ludicrous at best.
The debate is not whether he CAN work and do domestic chores, the issue is whether or not he wants to!

i certainly wouldn't debate that it's impossible for a man to do both, just that if you (general you ) want somebody to work full-time, do *everything* around the house, AND be a partner/friend/lover (and of course i understand that not everyone expects one person to fill both roles), something is going to give. i am in agreement with thetammyjo that there's an ingrained double-standard- a female submissive can be "just" a housewife (particularly if she's also a mother), but the general expectation is that a male submissive MUST contribute financially to a household regardless of how much he does around the house. As a person who does have a lot of "service sub" drive, i find it frustrating that with our current situation, there's always a stack of things that are un-done, or not done to satisfaction, because my job leaves me exhausted, with little free time during the week, and often depressed and/or angry. If i could devote the working hours to getting the household projects done, and the evenings to my wife, i think both of us would be much happier. But, modern "life" being what it is, that's the way things will be at least until our mortgage is paid off.

I have to echo what petdave is saying. Sure, my husband could probably work and do all of his chores. He volunteers pretty regularly depending on his free time, and he has a nice chunk of time for reading, physical exercise, personal development. But during the time period that he did hold down a job and try to handle the chores, with me handling some of my own, and then paying a maid, we were both a lot less happy.

There's something very valuable about having a man who is well rested, physically, emotionally and mentally *available* when I get home from work, and things are in order with leftover time to spare. That means we can have a leisurely dinner that he did not rush to prepare, and we can generally be assured our weekends are absolutely free if I am not working -- this is so important. Sure, he could get done chores on the weekends, and do the piled up maintenance, errands, etc -- but having that all handled during the week is far less stressful.

I am also able to manage my workaholic lifestyle with the assurance that my home time will be free of stress or watching him do chores while I relax. The stuff is pretty much handled.

Oh, and best of all - it means when I travel on business, he can go with me. That alone is worth having him not have a job. He could never do that if he had a full time job.

Akasha

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(in reply to petdave)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/14/2007 1:11:56 AM

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I would love to have a male wife! Any males under 40 looking contact me!

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/14/2007 4:10:14 AM

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may iask if you all had this male wife type what would you consider they clothing toobe all male or maid out fit when cleaning just wondering here would you have a marriage like other she in tux or male wife in tux? just wonder where your minds might be on these issues i do many things here now at my own home

(in reply to Winter83)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/14/2007 10:14:42 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwearpanties

may iask if you all had this male wife type what would you consider they clothing toobe all male or maid out fit when cleaning just wondering here would you have a marriage like other she in tux or male wife in tux? just wonder where your minds might be on these issues i do many things here now at my own home

That would actually depend on my mood. Normally, he could wear his usually every day clothing. But if i'm in a fiesty playfull mood...a maids outfit is a nice start to playtime....or maybe just a frilly collar anda ribbon tied to hid cock. :P

(in reply to iwearpanties)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/14/2007 10:25:13 AM

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I

< Message edited by Halley -- 4/14/2007 10:27:14 AM >

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/14/2007 10:56:03 AM

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Not really, but I do want a male helpmate. I want a male partner who can help with everything from housework to yardwork to shopbuilding and barnbuilding to cooking to washing and waxing the cars and trucks together. I think I might have found him, too! TM

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(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/14/2007 1:23:10 PM

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My male wife would only be permitted cute or comfortable panties I buy for him to wear everyday, and a teddy or nightie for when I feel like phucking him like my whore... Otherwise, he is to wear casual or dressy man clothing everyday as I like my man dressed fairly well. M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to iwearpanties)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/14/2007 10:17:58 PM

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Now this is interesting...the other day My sub asked if I wanted to be 'Jane Doe' (My first name, his last name) after we marry one day...presumptuous manthing isn't he?

I asked 'So, how would you feel about being called 'John Smith', instead?' (his first name, MY last name!

He pondered that for awhile.

The prospect of a BDSM wedding is a delicious fantasy, thinking about the many ways we can either discreetly or NOT so discreetly indicate the nature of our relationship.

The prospect of having a live in 24 7 male sub to wear My panties occasionally, put on an apron, have his nipples pierced, be branded with My branding iron, wear a wedding dress??????????do I DARE assign him to do that???????? Would he submit to it if I did? Hmmmm....Is THAT why he mentioned Las Vegas as a possible locale???? lololol....thinking these thoughts is affording Me hours and hours of entertainment right at the moment.

Time will tell. Thanks for the imaginative post.

TexasMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwearpanties

may iask if you all had this male wife type what would you consider they clothing toobe all male or maid out fit when cleaning just wondering here would you have a marriage like other she in tux or male wife in tux? just wonder where your minds might be on these issues i do many things here now at my own home

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to iwearpanties)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/15/2007 6:16:30 AM

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Taxes Maam with all due respect id love to yours!!!!! i may not pass a female nor do i seek too but too know you want a sub in certain situations ...... Wow i think many subs would love that..

Also Ms BlkTallFull Fig i think you would have many subbies are your door step too.... as a sub male in my mind now i realize many Maams and Dommes have diffrent ideas as too there male wife type when it croosed my (well this subs simple mind) you are many of you had some type of fmeming on there minds

(in reply to TexasMaam)

RE: Does anyone else here seek a male wife? - 4/15/2007 8:24:43 AM

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I love the idea of a male wife, what is not to like about this?
Sounds purrrfect.

(in reply to MzMia)

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