Why are we so rare?

Why are we so rare? (Full Version)

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Gauer666 -> Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 12:11:36 AM)
I never realize up until recently that being a switch is such a rare breed. It seems a daunting and impossible taste task to find fellow switch partners. Is it more desireable to have a fixed preference? Perhaps I would be better off changing perferences and being in denial of my less dominate side. Just a thought. Gauer666

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 7:33:00 AM)
Many people don't change easily and are more comfortable in a set role and equate that mental/spiritual with a specific BDSM role. But, for some, being more fluid is more natural. Just keep looking around. A lot of us recognize that being a Master or slave doesn't necessarily mean we must be sadist or masochist. Master Fire

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 8:08:05 AM)
We're really not that rare, which is why it's amusing when so many think we are.

Suleiman -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 10:44:36 AM)
We're not that rare, but most people feel vaguely threatened by things that can't be conveniently labeled. Honestly, most folks will switch under the right circumstances, its just that for some, the right circumstances are somebody saying "ya wanna?"

Bella1 -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 10:59:26 AM)
Suleiman, I couldn't have said it better myself. [sm=applause.gif] Bella1

Lorelei115 -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 11:29:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauer666 I never realize up until recently that being a switch is such a rare breed. It seems a daunting and impossible taste task to find fellow switch partners. Is it more desireable to have a fixed preference? Perhaps I would be better off changing perferences and being in denial of my less dominate side. Just a thought. Gauer666 I think we are less rare than you think. A lot of times people won't advertise themselves as a switch (my profile, for example is "Dominant" because I am looking for submissives at the moment) but they are there, just the same.

LadyIce -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 2:54:47 PM)
Because most people in this lifestyle, pick a side.

Stranger1 -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 2:56:28 PM)
Switches are rare? About half of the girls I ever dated switched-just not with me.[;)]

littlesarbonn -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 4:32:39 PM)
I don't think switches are rare at all. It's a perception because most of the time when a switch is looking for a partner, the switch tends to be looking from whatever perspective he/she intends to play from. So, if he/she is feeling dominant, he/she advertises for a submissive. And the same for submissive desires. There are a LOT of both dominants and submissives who play from both sides but tend to advertise as one or the other. My first long term mistress was actually a switch. She just wasn't with me.

Stranger1 -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 4:42:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn I don't think switches are rare at all. It's a perception because most of the time when a switch is looking for a partner, the switch tends to be looking from whatever perspective he/she intends to play from. So, if he/she is feeling dominant, he/she advertises for a submissive. And the same for submissive desires. There are a LOT of both dominants and submissives who play from both sides but tend to advertise as one or the other. My first long term mistress was actually a switch. She just wasn't with me. Exactly. Past girls were drawn to me for certain personality traits I had. if those had been different-so would the relationship-or not at all.

Aneirin -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 5:34:10 PM)
I suppose switch could be looked upon as honesty.

Stranger1 -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 5:37:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aneirin I suppose switch could be looked upon as honesty. Some feel that we all switch to some extent. I think it really comes down to how much a person enjoys either in the end.

TheHeretic -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 7:30:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyIce Because most people in this lifestyle, pick a side. A side? Or a controlled little box?

LotusSong -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 7:48:52 PM)
Please take what I say next as my opinion stemming from a personal experience and for what its worth: For me, it just sucked to be enjoying someone in one venue to find out later I was just a filler to scratch an itch for his Dom or Sub side. This group is the one that sees to be the most miserable.. they just can't seem to find a partner and blame everyone who isn't a switch nor interested in one, as "close minded". No.. we just like what we like- just as you like what you like. If it was "all good".. there wouldn't be switches looking for non-switch partners. It comes across as rather hypocritical and just adds to the confusion.

bellaballanda -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 8:05:21 PM)
I think switches come in all denominations. I'm like 80/20 bottom and my profile says submissive, but I consider myself a switch, more becuase I'm looking for a dominant for my permanent relationship where as I only top casually. I think switches advertise themselves differently depending on what they're looking for. We're not all that rare I don't think.... edited to add I also don't normally switch within relationships, if that make senses. There are some people I only submit to and other (very few actually) that I top. I too am not looking for a switch relationship even though I consider myself a switch becuase the top side of my personality is so small...

MzMia -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 8:05:41 PM)
Great post LotusSong People have a right to be a switch, and many do not seek relationships with "switches". I have zero interest in a relationship with a switch, to each their own.

HutchGarahl -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 8:10:54 PM)
While I have no interest in a switch....simpy because I am so dominate in nature...I see nothing wrong with one being a switch. If everyone were alike, this world would be so boring. Never try to change who you are simply becuse that's what you think others want. There's a saying... To Thyne Own Self Be true. Try changing because someone tells you it's wrong and you should be like this...your not being true to yourself and that makes for a miserable life.

Aneirin -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 8:39:02 PM)
There are those both sub and Dom that are not interested in a relationship with a switch,perhaps because with a Dominant,a switch may challenge their dominance,or a submissive may similarly have their submission challenged.I understand for some it could be a confusing and unenjoyable situation,but is this not where individual dynamics reign.The natural self outside of our normal parameters,an area where we could learn more about ourselves?No matter how submissive a person is,there will always be those more so and less so,as is the same with those who identify as dominant.

TheHeretic -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/16/2007 8:47:04 PM)
I'm sorry you had a bad experience with someone who lied, Lotus. Those of us who chose to check the 'untwue' box aren't lying are we? Most miserable? Pfffft. I'm a switch. My wife is a switch. Sometimes things roll organically, somertimes a special coin gets flipped. Whatever the dynamic, the energy we create in that space is just as pure, just as potent, and just as 'twue.' Are we rare? I don't care. We're happy.

biru -> RE: Why are we so rare? (4/17/2007 4:37:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lorelei115 I think we are less rare than you think. A lot of times people won't advertise themselves as a switch (my profile, for example is "Dominant" because I am looking for submissives at the moment) but they are there, just the same. I think this is true. I advertise myself as a submissive because that's what I normally prefer. One of my friends from a club here in Tokyo is a submissive, though, and I've surprised myself by how much I enjoy playing with her, even if it is fairly casual. b

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