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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

well i guess you still havent read the diet

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sigh ...... sometimes i despair of the loss of true submission in the so-called subs and slaves of the day!

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ORIGINAL: HisSongstress

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

If Mixi and her D want to lose weight for their health, that's GREAT. My entire objection is to bringing weight (a superficial concern when you're only dealing with 25lbs) into a discussion of something serious ie marriage.

How can you say that 25 pounds is a superficial concern?  She is only 5'4" something. Even for me, at 5'11" those last 25 pounds will not be superficial.

And why is wanting to look better not the right reason....whether for me or for my D? To me the two have gone hand in hand. ...with the discipline of a structure eating and exercise plan.

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

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ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

I purposely waited to respond till after reading what others have said.....so here's my intake on this.

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous
D said He would marry me if i lost 25 lbs

Hun, unless this was something previously discussed BEFORE talking marriage, I would see this as a caution sign. Let's say you do loose the weight he's asked.....two years down the road you get pregnate, your going to gain more than 25lbs dear. Is he still going to love you for you and still want to remain married, or will he say you've gained the weight back, it's time to go?

[and no it was not a joke or teasing on His behalf]
the ideal trophy slave should weigh 119 ha

This to me would be another caution sign. You are a human hun, not a trophy.

D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

No, I wouldn't. I see people from the inside, not what shows on the outside. Looks aren't that important to me. True, I wouldn't want someone who looked like a slob, but then again...even slobs can be fixed up to look like class.

i dont mind, its a great motivation to finally get on that diet!

Motivations are great, so long as that's all this really is. Reading your words, I can tell that you do love D and you feel his feelings are mutual. Go with that for now. But I would suggest talking with him further on the idea of, and I know you don't care for the term..."What if" What his reaction would be if after marriage you gain back weight.

Let me ask you this....were you trying to loose weight before meeting D or was this something brought on after he collared you and gave his view on it? Don't get me wrong, I can see by your words that you really want to loose weight, and that's a good thing. But are you now honestly trying to loose for the right reasons? Sorry hun, but I have to agree on the fact of him dangling the ring is not a good thing. He should love and want to marry you regardless of wether you weight 119 or 319. Your size isn't what makes you, you are what made up by your charactor, personallity...stuff from inside.

Either way....best of luck to you on your goal to loose weight and hopefully you journey into becoming one with D.

ha, well i was satisfied with my weight prior to being with Him, and all the weight gain has been within the confines of our relationship! LOL losing weight began upon my own initiative when i became live in around xmas! thanks you though for your concern

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

D said He would marry me if i lost 25 lbs... granted, this would only peg me 5 lbs lighter than when i first met Him [my profile weight is not accurate, lol but was at the time] it would take me down to .... 120/119 [very reasonable i am only 5'4]



[and no it was not a joke or teasing on His behalf]

the ideal trophy slave should weigh 119 ha


D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

i dont mind, its a great motivation to finally get on that diet!

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

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sigh ...... sometimes i despair of the loss of true submission in the so-called subs and slaves of the day!

Precious.

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ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?

No, I wouldn't. I see people from the inside, not what shows on the outside. Looks aren't that important to me. True, I wouldn't want someone who looked like a slob, but then again...even slobs can be fixed up to look like class.

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

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On a side note:  While their are many different opinions about submission and slavery.  I am in the belief a slave should be pleasing. And most i think would agree  with me.  Subs and slaves talk about wanting to please a master/owner/dom. But when it comes right down to it  many give fine print on how they want to please. A slave of mine will please me  in anyway i tell her too., including losing 25 pounds. IF she does not? if she refuses? then she is only willing to please me under certain conditions. To me this isnt giving yourself.  This is giving parts of you  that are convient for you.  Granted people have hard limits. Things that make this sick or just plain  scares them to death. and that is fine. But i think alot of subs bring normal everyday things into things they will not do, just because its an inconvience to them.

There is a difference between submission and slavery. A slave should do whatever she is told. A submissive has more rights than that. As a submissive/bottom, I have LOTS of everyday things I wouldn't do for my dom. I wouldn't cut my hair short. I wouldn't move from my home. I wouldn't change careers. I wouldn't give up one of my pets. I wouldn't stop hanging out with my friends, etc.

I'm upfront about those things when I deal with someone. I don't have a problem with my dominant trying to help me lose weight, as weight loss is a goal of mine for the reasons I mentioned above. If Mixi and her D want to lose weight for their health, that's GREAT. My entire objection is to bringing weight (a superficial concern when you're only dealing with 25lbs) into a discussion of something serious ie marriage.

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous


first of all, i have been in a loving relationship and owned for over a year, you have no place to call my D a loser, ok?

secondly, i have the same expectations of Him

third, as someone who USED to WEIGH 119, i can tell you THAT is my ideal weight. these love handles and touching thighs need to go. i have never weighed this much & find my own body repulsive, is that enough reason from ME to lose it? i think so.

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ORIGINAL: HutchGarahl

Guys...calm down! She asked a simple question...

D's out there: would you require something like this from your slave, before even formally proposing?
 
She didn't ask if you thought it was superficial....she didn't ask if you thought it was wrong, although personally I do feel it is...and she certainaly didn't ask for this to turn into an all out board brawl. The insults between each other and against her is totally wrong.
 
She oviously knows herself and D enough to realize that even with his point of dangling the ring so to speak is not going to change even if she doesn't loose the weight. It's just giving her more incentive to do what she already seems to want on her own accord.

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ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

well i guess you still havent read the diet

I did read it... guess I misread where you called it a water diet, that was my mistake.. but it doesn't matter what you call the diet because I guess what I've been saying isn't what you have read.

SHORT TERM RESULTS DO NOT SUPPORT LONG TERM GOALS


<back to normal levels> talking to a personal trainer is not going to do you a bit a good until you figure out what is going on inside & by that I mean your nutritional needs... once you talk to a nutritionists & they give you a realistic plan THEN you talk to a trainer. In fact, any GOOD personal trainer is going to tell you to consult a doctor before taking on any structured physical regimen.

All of this will take time & dedication if you want to produce long lasting results & not bring on health related complications

So if you plan to get married in the next 3 months, he should take you as you are. If you want to be fit, healthy & not in danger of gaining it all back plus additional weight, then take the next 6 months to a year & do it right.

Its up to you.

But I suggest you save this thread & look back at it in a year... or two years & see where you are at & what has taken place since then.

Hopefully you will be at a happy 119 pounds, married to a buff guy who adores you & maybe have a unmentionable or two creating pleasurable havoc in your lives...

If not, then you maybe just maybe some of the comments offered here weren't attacks & they were actually coming from compassionate people truly trying to help out.

Looking forward to seeing you 2008/2009 follow-up post.

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

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ORIGINAL: TGM

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ORIGINAL: mixielicous

ha well this my infuriate you but i have known since day one being fat is grounds for termination [shrug]. so He claims. it doesnt bother me in the least, seeing as how, we will never really know till we get to that bridge. and considering i have been wanting to loose it for some time now maybe this is just the motivation i needed :)

Dear mixielicious,
I hope you take the time to think this through more thoroughly. Marriage is "for life" and if weight gain is "grounds for termination" then you're almost guaranteeing a divorce. A person's weight is variable through their life and there are many cases where it's not directly under their control. As geekygirl pointed out, you can gain a great deal of weight with certain illnesses or surgery (being given intravenous steroids after surgery is especially notorious for enormous and uncontrollable weight gain). I'm also suspecting that if a simple gain of 25 pounds is enough to prevent this marriage, the relationship may be better off kept as a non-committed one; thus giving you the option of being quickly and easily dismissed without the usual costs and red tape of a divorce.

wow all the silly standards so many other slaves have for grounds of termination i am SHOCKED this gets so much attention. first, we are both young, second, does anyone here actually believe this will still be the case when we are 40s and what we look like isnt as important? no i dont think so. people play all kinds of games in M/s why are some so appalling..

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

He's says I'm not a true sub? My answer: "Right on. your point is?"

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ORIGINAL: slave2MasterD

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ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

He's says I'm not a true sub? My answer: "Right on. your point is?"

"He" ??  are you even reading the posts to which you are replying??  Both KatyLied and i are female and you quoted both of us in this reply.
 
Lord above! you have wandered so far afield of the OPs question and it's getting worse by the moment because of those who aren't the least bit concerned with the DETAILS -- only their own ability to type any drivel that pours from between their ears!!!
 
s2MD

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Why is it shallow and superficial to want the one you love to look good and be healthy?