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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 7:50:12 PM

amiciaN

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I guess I see this a bit differently. I don't see it as the life-long committment being used as a carrot. The committment was made when the collar was put on. I see the carrot as being the event of the wedding itself, with all the pictures of the bride in a gorgeous dress, presents and reception party. But I also view a collar as more being serious than a wedding ring.

In any case, good luck with your diet, mixielicous.

As always this is strictly my opinion, therefore ymmv.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 4/30/2007 8:03:54 PM

slaveish

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Perhaps this will be of help.

Master asked me to lose weight by eating right and exercising. He said that I am perfect the way I am but that he is going to break me down in many ways, including this way. He said that losing weight (and the other stuff) is not just for him (although he enjoys the benefit) but that it makes me feel better about me. He's right. The better I am inwardly and outwardly affects the way I respond to people and the way the respond to me. I see the improvements. And that it was a direct order is a delicious aside. I am certain your Master thinks you are perfect just as you are. But like Master said to me, there is ~never~ a command that he gives me that does not have a well-thought-out reason behind it.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 5/1/2007 9:37:28 AM

MasterFireMaam

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I personally wouldn't because I am much more apt to accept a person's body for what it is and love the being inside. But, for some, the outer shell is important. If you're happy, loose the weight and say yes. If you're not happy, loose the weight...and say no.

Master Fire

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RE: 25 lbs? - 5/1/2007 11:03:45 AM

SkinnySlave

Posts: 22
Joined: 5/27/2006
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It works both ways. I had a Domme tell me, "the first thing I'm going to do is put 40 lbs. on you." Making THEM happy is part of the appeal.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 5/1/2007 12:25:56 PM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SkinnySlave

It works both ways. I had a Domme tell me, "the first thing I'm going to do is put 40 lbs. on you." Making THEM happy is part of the appeal.

I got a grandmother tells me the same thing all the time. Truth be told I wouldn't mind putting on about 40 lbs myself. Trick is getting anything to stick to these bones. Everything seems to just slide right off. An folks wonder why I keep looking for slaves that know how to cook.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: 25 lbs? - 5/1/2007 12:39:21 PM

Mysia

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You said you want to lose it. Perhaps now is a good time to lose it. When he asks (or is that Tells) you to marry him, say no.

Don't marry him because of weight loss.

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RE: 25 lbs? - 5/1/2007 1:57:29 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

It's one thing to say "I think you should try to eat healthier and exercise to benefit your health and appearance." It's quite another to place a demand like this on something as important as marriage.

I agree. I happily began a campaign for a healthier lifestyle 3 years ago on the direction of my dominant at the time.

We broke up a month later, but it's been 3 years, and I'm fitter and healthier than I have ever been because of what I began then. Down several dress sizes as a happy side effect from lifestyle changes. (Now I'm helping him change his bad eating habits as a friend and play partner.) I will always adore him for this motivation.

However, I don't think it should EVER be a condition of "I'll only love you if...". There are other motivators that are effective, and personally I consider withholding love (in the form of marriage or relationship) to be abuse not motivation.

A much healthier way for a dom/me to go about this is for both partners to enter into a fitness and healthy eating routine together. It's not about weight loss really, it's about health, and most of us can benefit from that, even people who are at their ideal weight.

Throw in some consequences and rewards, and you have a positive, no-fail situation that helps both partners, keeps up the D/s dynamic, and no one feels that they are risking being "un-loved".

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