hawkwolf7
Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline
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Hi JennyWench,
I am personally of the opinion that most people in the lifestyle are switches at some level, and by that I mean that there will be certain people in their lives that will trigger the desire to submit and serve, and there will be others that will trigger the desire to dominate. For those who are about 50/50, it happens often, and for those who are 90/10, it will happen rarely. And, of course, there are those who truly are 100/0, one way or the other, but these are extremely rare. What is more common though are dominants and tops who are unable to accept those feelings within themselves. There is still a huge stigma associated with being a switch. Switches are still judged as being indecisive or greedy (like that's a bad thing???). And, for those who wish to be the Uber-Dom, bottoming is out of the question because it will destroy the image they are attempting to project.
Although I don't have any personal experience with this, there are probably subs/bottoms who are unable to accept their dom/top sides and suppress any desires they have in this direction; somehow convinced that topping will make them appear less submissive, or as a bad submissive.
My rationale for my belief is simple: Real life forces us all to assume both dominant and submissive roles. The classic example used is that this Uber-Dom you are chatting with was at some time a child who had to submit to the will of his parents. Whether it was taking out the trash, cleaning their room, or becoming potty trained, (almost) everyone has had to do it. In the same vein, most of us have jobs. Even the most submissive male or female has lead a team, or taken on a project, or been the boss. Most of us are able to take on those roles, and even when they feel uncomfortable, we are eventually able to adapt. And many go on to become successful in those roles.
Another common example is that of a submissive shopping for groceries or clothes. If they were only capable of submission, then they would submit to the store clerk or the manager, and buy only what these people recommended. In other words they would be totally unable to function in modern society. Some goes for the dominant who is unable to take direction. They would probably lose their jobs and might end up in jail because they would be unwilling to drive at the speed limit (unless it was their idea of course).
To my twisted way of thinking, this is the simple proof that most of us are fundamentally switches. Granted, one role may feel more comfortable than the other. But, comfort levels change with exposure, and they change with time.
Personally, I feel a little saddened by people who insist they could never switch. I feel they are limiting themselves artificially, and missing out on understanding the "other" side, walking in someones moccassins for awhile... which cannot help but make them better at their chosen role, whatever that is. So, I for one, applaud you for accepting those feelings within yourself, and even more for sharing them on the boards. Well done!
HawkWolf
*** edited for spelling ***
< Message edited by hawkwolf7 -- 5/13/2007 6:20:27 PM >
_____________________________
p.s. Everything I write is simply one person's opinion: mine. Feel free to take what is useful and blow off the rest.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.
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