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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 7:42:06 AM

Laure

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We are poly, so my point of view may be worthless to most - but I was shared on a regular basis, and came to no harm. Of course, there was a great deal of discussion beforehand, and it's not as if I were a tray of canapes at a dinner party.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 8:37:57 AM

daddysprop247

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interesting topic...with many interesting perspectives. i would say that i agree with nephandi...once one has given themselves to a Master as his property, then that Master has the right to use you as they will. however, whether or not that is the case in the OP's situation, we do not know, and are not likely to ever find out.

i also agree with the idea that there must be some trials and sacrifices for a slave to bear and overcome in their slavery, or else, what is it that makes them a slave at all? however being sexually shared by one's Master is certainly not the only path to this, nor is being shared a hardship for every slave. slaveluci posed the query (forgive me for paraphrasing here), where is the trial in a slave being ordered to do something that they crave anyway. well, it all depends on how it's done. let's say you have a typical masochist, a pain slut...they want pain, need pain. does that mean that they will necessarily get a thrill from someone beating them over the head with a hammer? the same can be said of sharing.

i am a slave who is shared frequently (by the standards of most, but not by my Master's standards) with other men, mostly Dominants, and usually sexual service and use is included. at the same time, i've always had a deep need to be used by men (many men) sexually, it fulfills something deep within me. i am a slut...have always been very promiscuous, very "easy", etc. however it is not any pleasure from the sexual act itself that drives me (there is often no such pleasure to be had), it is simply the reality of being used as a tool for a man's pleasure.

then take my Master...he is the type who shares his property for a myriad of reasons...symbolism of ownership, perverse eroticism, sadistic drives, training, voyeurism, etc...all revolving around the fact that it simply pleases him and serves his own needs to do so. so in this area obviously we are very compatible. however, simply because i want and need to be shared, does not mean that these experiences are always pleasant for me, and not challenging. quite the opposite really, the vast majority of the time the circumstances around being shared are so stressful, emotionally and physically demanding, etc...that he will often refer to it as me suffering for his pleasure. yes, there have been some pleasureable situations....but those are few and far between, and if they represented the majority of my service to others, my Master would be very, very displeased. because it should be a challenge, it should be a reminder of one's place and station in life, it should bring about learning and growth. that is what it is for us, anyhow.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 8:41:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
i also agree with the idea that there must be some trials and sacrifices for a slave to bear and overcome in their slavery, or else, what is it that makes them a slave at all?

Prop, from what I recall, you've always said that your being a slave is simply a fact of birth- not something you have to learn or endure trials to become.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 8:46:47 AM

daddysprop247

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
i also agree with the idea that there must be some trials and sacrifices for a slave to bear and overcome in their slavery, or else, what is it that makes them a slave at all?

Prop, from what I recall, you've always said that your being a slave is simply a fact of birth- not something you have to learn or endure trials to become.

?? not at all LA. in order to be a slave one must be owned, those are not circumstances most people are born under. perhaps you're confusing "slave" with things i've said about being a submissive. that is something that imo one simply is, and not something one can ever become. but i have noticed over the years that what many in the lifestyle think of as "slave," Daddy and i would simply call submissive.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 8:56:52 AM

BeingChewsie

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So why does being a slave require some trial/sacrifice? What does that have to do with being enslaved? What makes them a slave is being owned. I have never understood where this idea comes from.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
i also agree with the idea that there must be some trials and sacrifices for a slave to bear and overcome in their slavery, or else, what is it that makes them a slave at all?

Prop, from what I recall, you've always said that your being a slave is simply a fact of birth- not something you have to learn or endure trials to become.

?? not at all LA. in order to be a slave one must be owned, those are not circumstances most people are born under. perhaps you're confusing "slave" with things i've said about being a submissive. that is something that imo one simply is, and not something one can ever become. but i have noticed over the years that what many in the lifestyle think of as "slave," Daddy and i would simply call submissive.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:06:21 AM

daddysprop247

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

So why does being a slave require some trial/sacrifice? What does that have to do with being enslaved? What makes them a slave is being owned. I have never understood where this idea comes from.

BeingChewsie, you are correct, what makes one a slave is being owned. my comment was emotional and poorly worded...i should not have said "...what is it that makes them a slave at all?"...but rather "then what is it that makes one feel and know they are owned?" because imo, if a slave's life is all peaches and buttercups, completely devoid of any struggle, any hardship, any sacrifice...then while the slavery may be real (they are owned), it has not been tested and it has not been proven (to those within the union, not speaking of any outsiders). and it may be true that some Masters and slaves have no such need to test or prove their ownership or slavery...but i would ask of these people, where is the mark of ownership, and more importantly, where is the growth?

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:18:20 AM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

So why does being a slave require some trial/sacrifice? What does that have to do with being enslaved? What makes them a slave is being owned. I have never understood where this idea comes from.

Lets say I had a slave and the basis of the relationship was "Obey/Serve or Leave". Obey me regardless of how hard it is or how much you dont want to do it.

Now...we had a relationship for an entire year. All that encompassed that relationship was blowjobs, doing laundry and getting coffee. These were solely the activities that she had to do and obey with.

How is this slave different than a vanilla girlfriend? If all the things that are asked are solely things the slave wants to do and finds easy and no problems doing, then how does this conviction of "Complete obedience" have any strength?

I am not saying it would make her any less of a slave in a theoretical sense. If she obeyed every activitiy, then she has not broken any of the contigencies that made her a slave in the first place. (Please note this phrase before flaming me lol. I am saying that Ownership defines a slave and not calling anybody real, true or false. Just stating a personal view.)

However, I could walk into a nearby office, proclaim them all to be my slaves, and then order them to keep on doing whatever they were doing. In a theortical sense, they would be my slaves, because they did obey my command without question.

The more difficult the task, the more depth is added to her orginal contigency that made her a slave : "Obey/Serve or Leave".

If I were to go into the office, proclaim them all my slaves, and, lets say, order them all to have a big orgy, then my proclamation of them being my slaves would turn to sand when they told me "No".

This isnt to say all Masters should do everything they can to do the exact opposite of what the slave wants or that people who dont put their slaves threw grueling activities arent real slaves. Nor is this to say that relationships shouldnt have boundaries.

Just saying, that personally, on the occassion I will come up with activities that are in fact somewhat of a trial for my girl, because when the challenge is met and the trial is overcome, I feal the depth of the relationship and the dynamic that it a M/S relationship with more strength and poigancy.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 7/19/2007 9:20:27 AM >

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:27:59 AM

mnottertail

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Now...we had a relationship for an entire year. All that encompassed that relationship was blowjobs, doing laundry and getting coffee. These were solely the activities that she had to do and obey with.

Don't forget the vacuuming, cleaning and footlicking too.

I want that too.

Ron

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:29:10 AM

daddysprop247

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MadRabbit,

great analogy, and thanks for illustrating the point far better than i could.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:31:42 AM

heartfeltsub

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Am wondering and am not trying to hijack, but am wondering if the desire to push a slave comes more often with someone who identifies as sadistic or if it is a more "universal" trait of those who identify as Masters?

heartfelt

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:31:52 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
BeingChewsie, you are correct, what makes one a slave is being owned. my comment was emotional and poorly worded...i should not have said "...what is it that makes them a slave at all?"...but rather "then what is it that makes one feel and know they are owned?" because imo, if a slave's life is all peaches and buttercups, completely devoid of any struggle, any hardship, any sacrifice...then while the slavery may be real (they are owned), it has not been tested and it has not been proven (to those within the union, not speaking of any outsiders). and it may be true that some Masters and slaves have no such need to test or prove their ownership or slavery...but i would ask of these people, where is the mark of ownership, and more importantly, where is the growth?

Thanks for the clarification.

Personally I don't know anyone whose life is always peached and buttercups, so I can't say for sure how that would be.

I can say however that I know plenty of relationships which do not wish to make endurance or tests PART of the relationship or something they actively place upon eachother.

Considering life being what it is- you're still going to have to endure things and go through life tests. IME life will test me a lot harder than any contrivance my partner could. So we still grow and are together, and in fact grow closer, without having to make that PART of our relationship or something we choose to actively do.

I also happen to think we can grow withOUT endurance or tests, but that's not really relevant right now.

For me the mark of ownership is simply in being owned, knowing that is who you are and that state of the relationship (and this reply also goes to MadRabbit). It's now about what you DO- a Ms relationship can (and usually does) LOOK exactlly like a vanilla relationship.

It's simply the authority that is different. No need for endurance or trials or martyrdom.

I know a lot of people FEEL the need for it, and that's fine. But that hardly makes it a universal necessity.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:40:16 AM

BeingChewsie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

BeingChewsie, you are correct, what makes one a slave is being owned. my comment was emotional and poorly worded...i should not have said "...what is it that makes them a slave at all?"...but rather "then what is it that makes one feel and know they are owned?" because imo, if a slave's life is all peaches and buttercups, completely devoid of any struggle, any hardship, any sacrifice...then while the slavery may be real (they are owned), it has not been tested and it has not been proven (to those within the union, not speaking of any outsiders).

This statement makes no sense either their enslavement is real or it isn't. There is enough crap that normal life throws into a relationship without having to make shit up. Live long enough and life will provide the struggle, the hardship, the sacrifice for both people in the relationship.

She doesn't know she is truly owned unless her life is hell and she wants to get out? Hogwash. How about if he creates and maintains an enviroment for her that is so incredible, wonderful and represents her best path through life, so much so that leaving him is unthinkable...and never lets that environment or that belief change in her..she is a literal slave of his making.

I know its is boring so not the story of O ...but it is slavery and ownership.

quote:

and it may be true that some Masters and slaves have no such need to test or prove their ownership or slavery...but i would ask of these people, where is the mark of ownership, and more importantly, where is the growth?

I don't know what you mean by "mark of ownership" in the above, please explain

"Where is the growth?"....What if she learn to cook gourmet meals? or learns to love and know wine? or gets a degree or three? Writes a book? Loses 100lbs? Learns to Invest in real estate and becomes a milionaire with his help? or takes a up sewing and makes all the kids clothes?..and on and on and..the possiblities are endless.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:47:37 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I went into a lot of those ideas on this "thread in a thread"

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1059440/mpage_2/key_spoiled/tm.htm

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:50:18 AM

slavegirljoy

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i don't believe that being a slave requires some trial/sacrifice. i believe that being HUMAN requires some trial/sacrifice. i believe it's rare, if ever, that anyone, slave, sub, Dom or otherwise, goes through life completely unscathed, without ever enduring some troubles and making some sacrifices along the way. Hardships in life are inevitable and builds character (or at least endurance) but, not submission. i don't need to be tested or beaten down, in order to submit. i submit because it feels good and right for me to submit, not to just anybody, of course. Being a slave is all that's required to be a slave. Just as, being a woman is all that's required to be a woman and being a parent is all that's required to be a parent (i didn't say "good" parent, but simply a parent.) i am simply what i am and i do the things that i do because of what i am. i didn't just happen to read something about slaves one day and decide, "Oh, that's what i want to be." i realized that my role within my intimate relationships is most appropriately described as "slave" and that's the word i use to describe myself to others, who are in the BDSM community. As far as my Master sharing me with others, every D/s relationship i have ever been in involved "swinging" and that sometimes took the form of having 4-somes with other couples (usually non-BDSM couples) and other times just me with another woman, for my Dom's or Master's pleasure to watch, and still other times having 3-somes, involving another woman with both me and my Master. Every Dom i have ever been involved with just happen to like being able to have sexual encounters with various people in various ways and not be limited to one-on-one monogamous sex. In my current relationship, my Master enjoys "loaning" me to Dommes to use, in His presence. i don't ask Him "why" He enjoys this because the reason doesn't matter to me. The fact is He does enjoy it and i enjoy pleasing Him by doing what He wants and i enjoy seeing that it makes Him happy when i am being used by a Domme. i have never been "shared" with another, without my Dom or Master at least being present, if not actively involved. Not every D/s or M/s relationship is like that and not every Master has an interest in sharing His property, but some do. If it bothered me to be shared with others, i wouldn't be intimately involved with a Dom or Master who wanted to share me. Just as, if it bothered me to be bound, gagged, blindfolded, tied naked to a tree in the woods and left there for however long my Master decided, i wouldn't be a slave to this Master. It's important to be who you really feel comfortable being and to be with someone who allows you to be who you are. If something doesn't feel right for you, then it's not right for you. To me, it's as simple as that. slave joyOwned property of Master David "Commitment transforms a promise into a reality."

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

So why does being a slave require some trial/sacrifice? What does that have to do with being enslaved? What makes them a slave is being owned. I have never understood where this idea comes from.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
i also agree with the idea that there must be some trials and sacrifices for a slave to bear and overcome in their slavery, or else, what is it that makes them a slave at all?

Prop, from what I recall, you've always said that your being a slave is simply a fact of birth- not something you have to learn or endure trials to become.

?? not at all LA. in order to be a slave one must be owned, those are not circumstances most people are born under. perhaps you're confusing "slave" with things i've said about being a submissive. that is something that imo one simply is, and not something one can ever become. but i have noticed over the years that what many in the lifestyle think of as "slave," Daddy and i would simply call submissive.

< Message edited by slavegirljoy -- 7/19/2007 10:01:19 AM >

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:54:36 AM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

For me the mark of ownership is simply in being owned, knowing that is who you are and that state of the relationship (and this reply also goes to MadRabbit). It's now about what you DO- a Ms relationship can (and usually does) LOOK exactlly like a vanilla relationship.

It's simply the authority that is different. No need for endurance or trials or martyrdom.

I know a lot of people FEEL the need for it, and that's fine. But that hardly makes it a universal necessity.

Nor am I implying that there has to be a need for it.

I was just trying to explain the idea behind it as it has been explained to me which is validating how strong the relationship is.

No one has to go out of there way to be overly enduring or do anything uberly kinky for it to be an authority dynamic. A relationship could carry on for ten years with only the hardships life throws at it and the authority dynamic still be in place and just as strong.

The point was more...if a slave spent one year doing nothing but blowjobs and domestic chores and then after that year, the entire authority dynamic were to come to a screeching halt and crumble because the Master wanted the slave to buy a car she didnt personally like...there would be a lot of room to speculate as to how strong that dynamic was in the first place.

I hope that makes sense.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 9:55:21 AM

mythi

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Call me crazy, but I've always found that supporting each other through outside trials strengthens a couple's bond enormously while creating adversity within the relationship drives a wedge. I get enough stress in the outside world without my partner putting me through some manufactured paces to 'test' my loyalty or love. I want my home, my mate, to be a sanctuary or else I'll never get any peace! lol That obviously must work for some, but it would end a relationship in short order for me. But then, I identify as submissive not slave...and I wonder if that mindset is more common in those who feel called to be slaves?

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 10:00:20 AM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy
If it bothered me to be shared with others, i wouldn't be intimately involved with a Dom or Master who wanted to share me. Just as, if it bothered me to be bound, gagged, blindfolded, tied naked to a tree in the woods and left there for however long my Master decided, i wouldn't be a slave to this Master. It's important to be who you really feel comfortable being and to be with someone who allows you to be who you are. If something doesn't feel right for you, then it's not right for you. To me, it's as simple as that

Ypu are absolutely right. In no way, whatever so ever, am I saying that the relationship shouldnt have boundaries or that I dont respect boundaries.

However, when I was dating my ex submissive and I told her that she would be required to come with me to the gym to work out, she then made it a limit because she didnt like working out.

This is what brought that to a screeching end and its not how I work or what I want.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 10:02:35 AM

BeingChewsie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mythi

Call me crazy, but I've always found that supporting each other through outside trials strengthens a couple's bond enormously while creating adversity within the relationship drives a wedge. I get enough stress in the outside world without my partner putting me through some manufactured paces to 'test' my loyalty or love. I want my home, my mate, to be a sanctuary or else I'll never get any peace! lol That obviously must work for some, but it would end a relationship in short order for me. But then, I identify as submissive not slave...and I wonder if that mindset is more common in those who feel called to be slaves?

No, wanting drama and chaos is no more a characteristic of woman wanting slavery than those wanting a less absolute type dynamic. It happens but has nada to do with the relationship type one is drawn too, just the type of partner one gets into it with.

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 7/19/2007 10:04:01 AM >

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 10:04:36 AM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Am wondering and am not trying to hijack, but am wondering if the desire to push a slave comes more often with someone who identifies as sadistic or if it is a more "universal" trait of those who identify as Masters?

Define push...

The dominance element of things does not include pushing for me, per se.

Me caring, however, involves me turning some demands into a slow, determined process with a definite push, in order to allow her to comply without damaging or unduly traumatizing her according to my standards and preferences. Like the bit about toilet service, which will take a fair bit of getting used to. I could "just do it", but I prefer to spend the time to make it feel second nature to both of us.

Testing, however, is something I do not approve of, although I don't care if others do it. My nephandi, however, is not tested, and will not be tested by anyone who expects to remain in our social circle. This practice, I think, has some element of emotional/mental sadism to it. Which is quite fine, but not something I get off on, and not something I let her suffer. Each to their own.

There is a definite push toward "perfection", however. That distant, unattainable but approachable goal is something I push myself toward, and I impose the same on others under my authority, whether at work, or at home, whether in terms of hobbies, work, or slavery.

Sadism may involve pushing, though. In the sense of pushing for a specific response.

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RE: Master why do you want to share me? - 7/19/2007 10:05:07 AM

KnoxFIre

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She doesn't know she is truly owned unless her life is hell and she wants to get out? Hogwash. How about if he creates and maintains an enviroment for her that is so incredible, wonderful and represents her best path through life, so much so that leaving him is unthinkable...and never lets that environment or that belief change in her..she is a literal slave of his making.

I think it's common to appreciate a person's genius when it exactly coincideswith our own...but this is the philosophy I live by - and find it to be simple to understand and relatively simple to live by...especially when compared to creating an artificial gamut for someone to endure.

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