julietsierra
Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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ORIGINAL: ownedjulia
Limits
Limits are always contentious issues. Should a slave be allowed to have limits?
In my mind this is looking at limits in the wrong way. Limits will come along whether we wish them to or not. I work and I expect my girls to work as well. Any job will impose limits. For example a job will impose a dress code and I will impose a dress code of my own. My girls know that what I want comes first but they must also Be bright enough to understand that I expect them to work therefore they dress as work dictates for work and as I require at all other times.
if I meet a girl for lunch or after work I expect her to be dressed how I want
This may mean several clothes changes in the day - tough. It is what’s expected.
I completely understand this. I've solved it in our relationship by simply adjusting what I wear to fit the day and the plans for that day. Now, fortunately, the only requirements I'm faced with is that everything from the inside out be black, so this means accommodating his wishes is pretty simple. On the days I would meet him a black skirt and sweater works nicely and still fits the dress code at my place of employment. Admittedly, shorter skirts would be a problem, but overall, I've been able to find ways to do what he wants me to do and to meet the requirements of my job.
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It’s very simple, slave obeys or leaves.
This is our dynamic as well. It's not as arbitrary as it seems however. In fact, to me, it is very helpful. I know my choices and am given the responsibility of making the decision for myself as to whether I can do this or not. Sometimes strict guidelines are not all about restrictions and more about simply understanding exactly where one stands - no guesswork involved.
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Expectations I have of a Slave
A slave Must always serve to the absolute best of her ability no matter the task, how much she likes/dislikes the task, no matter how long she has been awake, no matter how she feels.
Anything less is an insult.
This seems to be gaining a lot of negative attention, and I can see why people would take offense. However, here's the deal..."personal best" is fluid. If someone is sick and her personal best at that moment is less than when she is healthy, it is still her personal best at that moment. I've been dead tired and unable to go on without battling raging headaches. Still, I do what I can to take care of myself and then continue doing what he asks of me.
This weekend we painted the bottom of his boat. He worked as hard as I did but he took frequent breaks. I worked until I got dizzy from the heat. At that point, he noticed that I was staggering a bit and told me he didn't know why I didn't take more frequent breaks. the fact is, I didn't because he didn't tell me I could. I'd have continued to work regardless of what was happening. It's not that he was being unthinking or uncaring. It's that when he took his breaks, he was just as worn out as I was.
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Does she deserve a 'good girl' for giving perfect service?
If she does the absolute best she can in a task then she has merely met expectations and no praise should ever be expected for that.
Now this is something that is more difficult for me - sometimes. I don't expect praise for what I do. I'm here to serve and that's what I do. My greater issues are the disparity between my need for physical gestures of affection and his need to give them. It's probably the one area in which we don't match closely, but again, the thing is, I get upset, and then I look at what went on prior and during our time together and I learn to see the subtleties. In fact, I relish them. And it's all good again. (But I do admit that if the interior of my car could talk.... cause I work through the difficulties that life sometimes brings in my car when I'm alone.)
On the other hand, what's interesting to me is that all too often, "personal best" can be defined so loosely as to mean "personally how I feel at this moment" which is generally less than really could have been done. Going back to the boat... I could have taken more frequent breaks and still done what I might have thought was my personal best. In fact, I worked until at some point, I was staggering. I'd exceeded my personal best. I'd put my perceived limitations aside and gone further than I'd ever have anticipated.. Hence, I'd exceeded my personal best.
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I DO NOT expect any of my girls to come to me with an issue or a problem. The order has been given, get on with it – deal with issues and problems yourself because I don’t care.
If you seek clarity on an order then by all means come and chat with me and I will explain further but don’t give me problems. If I want problems I will go to work. I only want intelligent girls so they can deal with the problems and issues themselves.
My question here is "do you mean the issues and problems associated with following an order you've given? Or do you mean the issues and problems that life sometimes throws people's way? Issues and problems following an order - I completely understand that. In our relationship, he gives a direction. It's up to me as to how it gets accomplished. If he tells me a specific way of doing things, I'm allowed to tell what may interefere with that order, but beyond things like that, it's up to me to get it done. For instance, if he says "we're doing ______ tonight and my family members are home, or I have car problems, or I have prior committments with my family or work, I let him know. Beyond that, it's my responsibility to be where I'm supposed to be. Yes, there are times when I've run late and had to call to let him know, but those should not be the overwhelming majority of times. If they are, I'm not doing my best to get where I need to be when I need to be there. It's that simple. Anything else is just making excuses.
However, if you meant issues and problems in life, well, I'd have to say that I value his opinion about things. I don't need or want him to solve things for me, but I do acknowledge and more often than not, follow what his directions are for me if I do share issues of mine with him. The issues and problems that I've come to him with have, for the most part, pertained to work (we share information in this regard. He values my opinion as much as I value his and we often bounce ideas off of each other),
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Punishment
Something I often hear is that the punishment must fit the crime and I agree, something else I hear is that the punishment must be proportional to the crime and here I disagree.
Any misbehaviour committed by one of my girls will be met with a punishment that exceeds the crime.
A punishment that is proportional to the crime will only leave an impression on the mind for a short period of time. Make it MUCH larger than that and it will leaving an impression for a far longer time. The aim here is to ensure that the girl truly understands. A slave girl who serves me is expected to give her absolute and total best at ALL times. Failure to carry out an order, to understand an order, to fail in a task means punishment and not all punishment is about pain. There are thousands of ways to punish a slave who fails as long as the message of why she failed and how disappointed you are gets through to her then its all good.
We don't do punishment so this is a moot point. Again, it speaks to that intelligence factor. He presumes that he can tell me specifically what he doesn't like/want/etc and that it won't happen again. If it consistently does then the fact is I am making a choice to not submit/obey, and well, there's that obey or walk issue going on.
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What about a relationship?
I may come across as harsh and uncaring but a relationship being an owner and His property is important. If a girl does exceed her best then she should be rewarded. It is also nice to curl up with a girl and watch a movie and do other things together but it’s important that the girl still knows her place during these times, in fact these times can reinforce who is in charge.
Our time together "curling up and watching a movie" is generally with me doing his feet or giving him a massage while we watch the movie. At first I felt a general level of antagonism doing this, but I quickly realized that combining the two maintained the dynamic we choose to engage in. These days, the process is peaceful and remarkably fulfilling.
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SSC vs RACK
I hate and detest SSC because NOTHING we do is actually SSC.
SSC – Safe, Sane, Consensual
How can knife play, gun play and many others be considered safe?
How can any of us who enjoy being sadists be considered sane?
Consensual is utterly stupid – Girl consents when she agrees to become the owners slave.
RACK works better – Risk Aware Consensual Kink.
With Rack as long as both owner and slave know the risks then slave gets on with it – end of discussion. It is not the slaves place to try to bargain or get out of anything ‘risky’. It’s slaves place to deal with it and accept it.
Again, it’s a matter of total obedience and total power exchange.
The military have a wonderful term C3 (C Cubed) which stands for Command, Control, Communication – Perfect words for a TPE relationship and worth remembering alongside RACK.
We don't really have any acronym that we subscribe to. I simply do what I do. He does what he does. We fit.
juliet
< Message edited by julietsierra -- 6/4/2007 5:13:26 PM >
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RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 
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.......slave luci 
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