Is Money A Be-All, End-All?

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Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 4:00:37 PM

zengiz

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/17/2008
From: London, England
Status: offline

Tributes and a whole slew of other money-orientated gifts, treats etc. but mostly money is expected to cover for their time.

How would a sub with low income go about approaching a Mistress without "money" being the benefactor?

Cheers!

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 4:03:15 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I dont think it is possible. If you are rich, find someone looking for money, if you are not rich, look elsewhere. There are plenty of Dominas not looking for money on this site. Good luck in your search.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 4:26:26 PM

HagiaSophia

Posts: 39
Joined: 4/17/2008
From: St. Petersburg/Tampa
Status: offline

Dear zengiz,

First off, I thoroughly enjoyed your creative profile! It reminded me of Frank Herbert's chairdogs. While I do not disagree with Politesub's advice, I would add this: find your utility and showcase it with the creative mind you so clearly possess. Mistresses that expect tribute, I'm speaking predominantly of Pros, have a variety of needs, some common to most Mistresses, and some unique to each one. Are you a webmaster, handy with a hammer, into welding, willing to walk her dogs, weed her gardens, in short what are your special life skills? These are the things that can be parlayed into tribute substitutes. Ask her what her subbie wishlist is - not neccesarily the items she wants but the ideal skills her sub or stable would possess. For example, I'm actively looking for a sub who can sew. Not all my subs need to know how to sew, but each of them must fulfill a specific need that I have (pain slut, domestic engineer, carpenter - the list goes on). Now, I didn't necessarily have certain things on my list until I learned, for example, how much I value my bigdog for his skilled hands. He is an excellent masseuse and I cannot figure out how I survived without him.

There is always hope.

_____________________________

Always,

Mistress Sophia

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 4:37:38 PM

DommeInDelaware

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/6/2008
Status: offline

Is Money A Be-All, End-All?

No.

However, at least for me, I want a submissive or slave who is going to help make my life easier. For me, what that entails is helping me with the business I am starting. Doing research, helping me in areas that I am weak.

So the question for you to answer when approaching prospective dominants is how can you add to their lives? What needs do they have that you can assist with?

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 5:03:20 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
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I would suggest looking offline.
Go to Kinky events and such: kinky ladies will be there. Most of them will be non-professionals.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 5:50:10 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
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No. But it helps.

Let's face it. Some smart someone on another thread defined "Top" as a person who gives sensations to another and "Bottom" as the person receiving those sensations. Even in the Vanilla world, a man is expected to do SOMETHING for the female who's attentions he desires. Whether that is flowers and candy, dinner and a show, love poems, or just amusing companionship on a walk through the park... there must be SOMETHING that a sub can give to show his appreciation for a Domme who lavishes her attentions on him. It has to be more than an occasional note that says "I want to kiss your toes" or "I think you're hot." If you want to GET something out of a relationship, any relationship, you must be willing to GIVE of yourself. Most men are very bad at that and it's easier for them to whip out the wallet. You can't fault women for taking it if they feel that's all they will ever get out of him. Most of us would rather have your TIME.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 5:54:35 PM

Venatrix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Most of us would rather have your TIME.

Yep. That's what I told my ex-husband. That's why he's my ex.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 5:57:16 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
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My ex is an ex because he was a violent drunk. My current hubby is a T-totaller. Go figure.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 7:15:07 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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One of these days, I am going to meet someone wealthy, who interests me, and is available. Anything is possible in an infinite multiverse.

In the meantime, I will keep looking for someone who will give me what I need, and none of that can be purchased.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 8:17:22 PM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
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I was going to just answer "Yes" to the OP, but, the better answer is Politesub53's, so you should go with that.

quote:

If you are rich, find someone looking for money, if you are not rich, look elsewhere.

M

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"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/9/2008 10:26:31 PM

babygirlkitten

Posts: 66
Joined: 10/25/2008
From: Manhattan
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While it can't hurt, there are plenty of Dommes out there looking for a submissive who has time to devote, is service oriented, is good at housework, or what have you. Find something else that you have to offer any potential Domme that would be more valuable than a tribute, and you have plenty to work with.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 1:56:45 AM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
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quote:

zengiz wrote: Tributes and a whole slew of other money-orientated gifts, treats etc. but mostly money is expected to cover for their time.

What are you looking for? If you want a session with a pro, you're going to have to pay for it. If you want to have a relationship with a dominant woman then forget the `dominant' part for a moment and ask yourself what you would do. It's perfectly possible to have a relationship with somebody without either of you having the money to spare for lots of gifts and things.

beeble

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 3:25:29 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Most lifestyle Dommes are not looking for money, they are looking for a sub that matches their wants, needs, desires. Pro's want money and/or tribute. The only tribute I want from my malesub is his devotion.

Keep looking and you may find what it is that you seek.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 6:34:12 AM

UmbraDomina

Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
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No money is not the end all be all.......... I do not expect gifts, tributes, or paypal deposits. I do however expect any person I might get involved with to be able to support themselves, to pay for a occasional dinner out, or to help out with buying toys ect.
I have no desire to support another person or their kinks.

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 9:16:12 AM

VampiresLair

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My Owner is absolutely not with me for my money. Our second "date" was kind of centered around her saving me from the side of the interstate because, being a poor college student, I ran out of gas. She had no problem giving me some money to help out. I've given her money since then, and now we split the cost of things rather evenly.

*shrugs* That's just us.

DV's Fox

_____________________________

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10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 1:51:51 PM

zengiz

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/17/2008
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HagiaSophia

Dear zengiz,

I thoroughly enjoyed your creative profile!

Dear HagiaSophia; thanks! As for special life skills, well, I have butter for fingers, so can only really give my time and total peace of mind. As you would an ordinary relationship. There's nothing much else that I can really give. But I can GIVE in. Isn't that what is most important?

quote:

ORIGINAL:beeble
What are you looking for?

A mean Mistress duo to inflict verbal abuse and light pain upon my body and mind without having to pay for their time.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 1:59:19 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zengiz

quote:

ORIGINAL: HagiaSophia

Dear zengiz,

I thoroughly enjoyed your creative profile!

Dear HagiaSophia; thanks! As for special life skills, well, I have butter for fingers, so can only really give my time and total peace of mind. As you would an ordinary relationship. There's nothing much else that I can really give. But I can GIVE in. Isn't that what is most important?

quote:

ORIGINAL:beeble
What are you looking for?

A mean Mistress duo to inflict verbal abuse and light pain upon my body and mind without having to pay for their time.

Yes, in my world, giving IS the most important thing. A relationship with a dominant IS like any ordinary relationship. Make friends, be nice, try to find some area of compromise. Are you sure you want someone mean? Wouldn't it be more fun to find someone who likes you, and is mean to you in certain contexts?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 2:22:36 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zengiz

A mean Mistress duo to inflict verbal abuse and light pain upon my body and mind without having to pay for their time.

By "duo" do you mean two dominant women to torment you and not charge you money?

I think by and large the more specific your ideals and the more they focus on you, the harder it is to find someone who will indulge you. If you want to bottom to a woman (or women) in a specific manner with no strings attached, then you have to offer a unique canvas/pleasant bottom experience for them - in other words, you have to be attractive or exciting on some level to make them want to do that to you. Some kind of magnet must be in place; for some women it's got to be affection, connection. For others, it's got to be lust. For some, it's both. So unless you are going to pay a woman for her time, you have to be prepared to invest your own time - courting, making yourself interesting and attractive to a woman, or if you are irresistibly cute or downright sexy, putting yourself in front of these women so they can get a look at you and your charm.

Put some gorgeous photos on your profile and be very specific about how FUN it can be to top you. What will she get out of it?

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 2:37:23 PM

zengiz

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/17/2008
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: zengiz

quote:

ORIGINAL: HagiaSophia

Dear zengiz,

I thoroughly enjoyed your creative profile!

Dear HagiaSophia; thanks! As for special life skills, well, I have butter for fingers, so can only really give my time and total peace of mind. As you would an ordinary relationship. There's nothing much else that I can really give. But I can GIVE in. Isn't that what is most important?

quote:

ORIGINAL:beeble
What are you looking for?

A mean Mistress duo to inflict verbal abuse and light pain upon my body and mind without having to pay for their time.

Wouldn't it be more fun to find someone who likes you, and is mean to you in certain contexts?

For me, it's all roleplay. The mean, lashing out at me at any given time aspect, and liking me at the same time is what, essentially I'm looking for in a relationship.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/10/2008 2:55:27 PM

MsDonnaMia

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zengiz

Tributes and a whole slew of other money-orientated gifts, treats etc. but mostly money is expected to cover for their time.

How would a sub with low income go about approaching a Mistress without "money" being the benefactor?

Cheers!

Give what you can. Its not the amount, but the proportion of what you can part with for Her, if she does demand a tribute of some type.

Tributing well is what hurts a little, be it $50.00 or $50,000.00. If she doesn't care to know you well enough to see your situtation and the spirit of your giving.. move on.

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