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Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:11:18 PM   
MyCaptainsPet


Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		In a group on Yahoo they are discussing the removal of collars as a form of punishment.

i don't know, this just disturbs me... My collar is a symbol of US and of what we are together. 

Anyone have any thoughts on this????
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:26:36 PM   
wytchywoman


Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline 		Just me, but I think that's reckless and careless as a form of punishment. In fact, it's not a punishment as far as I'm concerned, but coercion. I know of one dominant who did that in real life and is still whining that his slave left and never came back...not even after 5 years of him trying to get her back.

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:28:26 PM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		How can someone trust if the Dominant is going to yank that collar anytime he doesn't like what his sub/slave does? That kind of threat is not needed. There are too many other things that can be used for punishment. I would get away from that Dominant ASAP, if not sooner! A collar is given in trust, respect and sometimes love! That collar is too important to be thrown around like that..

Resepctfully,
sultry

_____________________________

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For it is they who let in the light.


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(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:32:32 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		In my relationship the removal of my collar would be an end to the relationship, not a form of punishment. 

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:36:50 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		If your collar has a meaning to you within the relationship then it is not a toy to be played with in that manner.  That would not be a punishment but something of a cruel nature.  My little one would be crushed if I took her collar for something of that nature

K
edited to say,  it was in a yahoo group so I would have to ask how many there have actually put a collar on someon in a meaniungful way

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 3/29/2006 6:38:39 PM >

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:39:27 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP..I believe that it is a form of blackmail to remove the collar as a punishment.And as far as I can see it would only create distrust and hesitancy from the submissive,it should not be used as a learning tool in any way shape or form,it should be considered inviolate.Any Dom who removes as a punishment should not be surprised that his submissive would take it as her walking papers..If used in such a way it would only be the start of the end .....be well...Tempting

(in reply to kyraofMists)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:47:45 PM   
wytchywoman


Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To the OP..I believe that it is a form of blackmail to remove the collar as a punishment.And as far as I can see it would only create distrust and hesitancy from the submissive,it should not be used as a learning tool in any way shape or form,it should be considered inviolate.Any Dom who removes as a punishment should not be surprised that his submissive would take it as her walking papers..If used in such a way it would only be the start of the end .....be well...Tempting


Agreed. Which is what happened to the real life dominant that I personally know who used this "punishment" five years ago. That girl left and has never been back. He broke every bit of trust she ever had in him.

On the other hand, there just might be some dominants who might use this type of "punishment" when in fact their true intentions are to end the relationship permanently...without wanting to actually bear the blame for it. There just might be some out there who will claim this is punishment knowing that it will break the sub/slave so badly they'll walk and just maybe that was their real intent?

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:54:25 PM   
fullofgrace


Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline 		wytchy, i think that could definitely be a motivation for some.

right now with my current Dominant i don't wear a regular neck collar, but i do wear an anklet constantly as a symbol of my devotion to Him and my submission...when we are together i have a collar He allows me to wear. i know if He ever took either of those, it would break something in me as far as our relationship is concerned. the symbolism is too important to me, and He knows that it would make me lose the trust and faith i have in our relationship, as well as the level of comfort i have with Him. i can see how as a severe punishment to a sub who is acting as though s/he does not WISH to serve, it might work to get to the bottom of whether or not they should be there in the first place...but overall i think it's a horrible idea for punishment. there are so many other, better ways.


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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:55:55 PM   
SadisticDesire


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		I can think of a thousand better ways to punish a sub other than taking away the symbol of our relationship. What would happen if a husband took away his wife's wedding ring because she pissed him off? Well if I were her I would consider that my walking papers. Though this may have been a horrible example (lol) in my opinion its about the same. I wear a permanent collar, given to me by my Dominant, if he took that away from me, it would be quite clear to me the relationship was over. But ya know....then again, I would have never been with a Dom who would use such an important symbol to try and punish me for something petty.

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Give her two red roses, one with a note that says," To The Woman I Love" and the other with a note that says, " To My Best Friend".

(in reply to wytchywoman)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 6:56:31 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet

In a group on Yahoo they are discussing the removal of collars as a form of punishment.

i don't know, this just disturbs me... My collar is a symbol of US and of what we are together. 

Anyone have any thoughts on this????



NO WAY, NEVER.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:02:22 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet

In a group on Yahoo they are discussing the removal of collars as a form of punishment.

i don't know, this just disturbs me... My collar is a symbol of US and of what we are together. 

Anyone have any thoughts on this????



NO WAY, NEVER.


I'm with Mistress Hathor on this one.
 
I will go one further and say that I do not throw collars around lightly.  They have an intense and special meaning to me, and for me to use that collar as a pawn or a ploy would cheapen its meaning and weight.  The removal of a collar equals the permanent dismissal of a sub.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:05:51 PM   
MyCaptainsPet


Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		These were all my thoughts when i read this too...

And i found my heart almost broke for this sub.. simply because this little chain i wear around my neck is US.. and my trust and faith in him.. Take it away and you take those away too...



(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:14:23 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		I have only worn two collars in my lifetime. If either were to have been removed from me as punishment, they would never have been put back on.

                        mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:14:26 PM   
ravn


Posts: 328
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		Abandonment is a great fear, and while this threat is an effective warning, it should be a warning of the end, not as punishment.If this is threatened, it should be the slave who ends it. If the Dome/me is going to demean a symbol of trust in such a way, They have no business having anyone place trust in Them.

for me, threatening to take away my collar would be the time i took it off and said goodbye.

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:20:09 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would suspect that this Dom talking about removing a collar for punishment is the same half-wit that was looking for punishment of his cyber (never met) "slave" on another thread.
I agree with everyone here, removing a collar is the end. There are LOTS of much more meaningful and demonstrative punishments that would be much more effective.

(in reply to ravn)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:39:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet

In a group on Yahoo they are discussing the removal of collars as a form of punishment.

i don't know, this just disturbs me... My collar is a symbol of US and of what we are together. 

Anyone have any thoughts on this????


Are you also on the DDSS group?  If not, I always marvel at how similar topics seem to run through online forums at the same time.

It depends on what the collar symbolizes, which can vary greatly.  If the collar is a gift or a reward to the sub, given as an anniversary present, or just a special piece of jewelry, then it makes sense that it could be taken away as punishment.

If it's a symbol of the relationship, then taking it off doesn't seem to make much sense as a punishment.

I don't think it really makes a useful punishment anyway- it really doesn't work towards any change in behavior which is what punishment is supposedly about.  Instead it's a bit more like taking your crayons and going home.  But for some people, it works for them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:41:54 PM   
MyCaptainsPet


Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, that's the group my Captain and i belong to... but you forgot the 3 *grins*



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:43:58 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		It's a common form of punishment in some areas of Gorean Role Play and it was used regularly in some BDSM rooms in the old MSN. Those using this form of puishgment were in the past the would-be-if-they-could-be-but-never-will crowd. I din't know what goes on therenow but it sounds like the same mentality.... It is Cruel and Unusual Punishment and the perpitrators need to gave their genitalia removed without anethesitic and publically IMO... 

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/29/2006 7:44:24 PM >

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:47:40 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I can see my way around my collar being taken off me as punishment. Like Master never uses pain as punishment, he always just makes it significant to the crime.
So for example, if for some reason I cant think of right now, I was being one bad-assed slave, taking my collar off would symbolise to me that I was not acting like a slave so why should I get to wear my collar?...I think though if he ever did that, because it would be such a major emotional thing, it would have to be done in a really disciplined way and what was needed to earn it back would need to be outlined in incredible detail...and for it to have impact it would have to be a very very rare thing to happen.

I say the above, knowing we have a solid relationship and that it means more than the physical collar around my neck, yet at the same time knowing that my collar is symbolic of my slavery to Master.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... - 3/29/2006 7:52:24 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet
Yes, that's the group my Captain and i belong to... but you forgot the 3 *grins*

Ah then you already saw my response there.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
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