RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom

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RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 5:20:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
IT IS LIKELY that the original post will make you envy the blind.

LOLOLOLOLOL

Agirl: I somehow found the whole read rather sad in an indefineable way
yeah, that too.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 5:53:14 PM

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Sounds like something off of CastleRealm. Which is to say, a big smarmy load of crap. Submissive women are women who are submissive in their intimate relationship. Nothing more, nothing less. They are not a "truckload of challenge".

this enhanced fever makes a new submissive forget all the dating rules that took a lifetime to learn. Only if they read smarmy articles that tell them that men who are dominant are so much more special than anyone else.

He wants your worship not simply for worship sake but because he has ventured beyond the norm into a realm of risk, and passing across the abyss where anxiety lurks and footing treacherous, he breaks into the sunshine of success offering you something glorious. Oh puhleeeeze. How can you even write that with a straight face? It's been decades since I ventured into a Harlequin Romance.

If you are a horrible judge of character, perhaps an accompanying friend might make a valued third at a first meeting offering you a second opinion. If you are such a horrible judge of another human being that you cannot meet someone for coffee alone, then perhaps you should never leave the house alone.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to osf)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 5:54:46 PM

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I love Cali.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 6:07:40 PM

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It's the line about whether or not he's nice to rodents that gets me. Obviously The Man isn't twue, we've battled mice invasions two or three times this past year and he gets the job of throwing the poison into the attic.

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 6:48:53 PM

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Is he good to guinea pigs? Then he's okay.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 6:54:04 PM

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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Is he good to guinea pigs? Then he's okay.

Shorey likes my pigs, but he'll never admit it.

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 6:58:50 PM

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I forgot to mention, from the title, I thought it was going to be advice for men that had recently become women... you know, "newish girls".

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Aileen1968)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 8:29:38 PM

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It was hard to read this OP. It sounded very high-schoolish, full of too many adjectives and hyperbole. The fake chatty/gossipy tone just wasn't for me. Plus I just honestly don't think that submissive women are so weak. It's like the old days when women weren't supposed to trouble themselves with learning anything and their little heads weren't made for weighty issues. I think my IQ took a 20 point dive just reading it.

One other thing, it seems as though women are in fewer number on sites like this one regardless of their orientation. You may want to do a count or something to see if these poor clueless women are indeed in the majority or not.

(in reply to RaceBannon)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 8:44:28 PM

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Did you get this off castlerealm? It portrays submissive women as ditzy and dominant men as overly grand.

Sorry OP i agree with the rest that criticized this piece. It sets couples everywhere to flounder as they look for the perfect dominant/submissive

(in reply to Killerangel)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 10:10:19 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaceBannon

-IT IS LIKELY a dominant will rarely send you a cock shot at first greeting and it is highly unlikely to have one on his profile. Photographic exhibitionism is more a submissive exercise. Dominants prefer to show off what they DO to someone rather than expose their own bodies for public viewing.

This was the funniest part.

I'm probably going to regret saying this, but:

There's a man who used to post on the boards. I'm pretty convinced he's everything he says he is in terms of dominance. And several ladies have told me that he has a very pretty cock, and that if it ever comes up in conversation I should totally ask for a shot.

(OP, I was at a London event today. I'm pretty sure every single one of the submissive women I spoke to there would have laughed in my face if I'd pointed them at this 'resource' (although I use the word resource lightly). Seriously, if this is what you've got to offer then nobody with half a brain needs your help.)

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to RaceBannon)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 10:17:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
IT IS LIKELY that the original post will make you envy the blind.

Yep, it did.

I think I got thru the first paragraph....didn't even make it to the qualities of a good Dom. I will admit the quoted line about Doms being good in bed made me laugh right out loud.....I personally know that is a falsehood! He could beat me wonderfully, but the sex was the worst!!!!

Wonder hit it on the head.....I've done ok, and I'm definitely NOT a rocket scientist! What the heck ever happened to common sense? The fact that we're into BDSM doesn't mean that we wouldn't (shouldn't) take the same precautions that we'd take in the "vanilla" world. D'OH!

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 10:26:32 PM

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Just a bunch of total pretentious bullcrap.

I doubt that there is an ideal Dom or an ideal anything, but what I do know, is that I wish there some new(ish) men around who didn't post like twats trying to educate the masses of poor pathetic sub women.

I just love the White Knight complex.

(in reply to soul2share)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 10:28:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaceBannon

-IT IS LIKELY a dominant will rarely send you a cock shot at first greeting and it is highly unlikely to have one on his profile. Photographic exhibitionism is more a submissive exercise. Dominants prefer to show off what they DO to someone rather than expose their own bodies for public viewing.

Right. They will have posted pics of all their whips, chains and toys, all lined up in a row.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 10:30:48 PM

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That's right and not only all the toys laid out on a bad bedspread, but they also post photos of their "handiwork" on other women or photos poached from some other place.

Because nothing says dominance like buying alot of toys.

(in reply to windchymes)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 10:37:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

That's right and not only all the toys laid out on a bad bedspread, but they also post photos of their "handiwork" on other women or photos poached from some other place.

Because nothing says dominance like buying alot of toys.

And the follow-up photo will be of a naked torso wearing tight pants with a high waistband.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 10:57:29 PM

agirl

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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

He wants your worship not simply for worship sake but because he has ventured beyond the norm into a realm of risk, and passing across the abyss where anxiety lurks and footing treacherous, he breaks into the sunshine of success offering you something glorious. Oh puhleeeeze. How can you even write that with a straight face? It's been decades since I ventured into a Harlequin Romance.

I have to admit that M certainly has done the above.........but I think I've expressed his amazing dominance with a degree of originality.

Yeah, yeah.......somehow it looks as if we both messed about in the *glorious* pit. He ventured beyond the norm because he took on a girl that wasn't submissive .....and I did , because I asked to be owned by a sadistic pragmatist.

Recipe for big pie with sour pastry..... but fear not........If you KNOW what you're going into, know who you're going into it with.......it's a breeze.

I think the idea of *knowing* someone is far, far removed from our idea of it.

agirl

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 11:11:01 PM

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I waded through the turgid prose, and I pondered it deeply. I sat cross-legged (which is difficult for a bunny) and meditated upon the text. Is this a path I should tread, as a poor, simple innocent sub?

Then I thought: nah, fuck it...I'll just keep dating guys and using my common sense. Like most of us do.

*insert huge rolling eyes emoticon here*

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to agirl)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/6/2011 11:29:01 PM

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From: Here To Eternity.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm sorry but if you need to have all of this spelled out for you then imo you really need to get out in the real world a little more and get some life experience.

This isn't rocket science folks.

^This^

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(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/7/2011 12:24:20 AM

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Talk about tilting at windmills, Don Quixote would have shed tears of disgust and sadness he he read the OP, no wonder he tilted at windmills rather that male society. What the OP in the Opus was comparing in effect was the "ideal" Master and the ideal (according to high society at the time), what is expected of a Gentleman in Victorian times. Especially of those who helped to build the British Empire. The fact is, there were then as now as many rogues, liars, cowards as there were brave men of honest heart and mind. Society, any society is made op of all types and this includes the society of Kink/BDSM. Society is changing, evolving and not always in a good fashion. Not all of the old ways which some of us venerate is being brought along but is being left sadly behind (Good manners is a excellent example).

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to BurntKitty)

RE: For new(ish) girls: A Guide to Finding That Ideal Dom - 2/7/2011 12:30:08 AM

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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaceBannon

The following was posted to another site, written by me but added to by many. It is merely a guide, not a set of rules for new submissives that are seeking mates online, or even out in the real world. It is not meant to offend, or be guidelines written in stone. For every suggestion there is exception, no two doms or subs are alike. It's simply a document to help those women who like many find the online BDSM site search frustrating or dangerous.

Here's a tip or two; When your online experience gets to be too dangerous .. turn OFF the computer. When your online search gets to be too frustrating .. go out into the real world and get to know some folks toes to toes and see if there is some chemistry with any of them which causes you to want to explore further.

quote:

-IT IS LIKELY a dominant guy will not start off by desiring you to be submissive at the get go.

It is more likely that a dominant will expect you to be submissive otherwise you wouldn't be here in the first place seeking out a dominant partner. If a dominant expects you to hand over your authority, however, simply because of a label they gave themselves it is likely they are new themselves or an ass. In neither case does that preclude them from actually being dominant. Dominants come in a wide variety of flavors including but not limited to: exceptional, mediocre, experienced, ass, inadequate etc. Some are able to multitask a variety of labels as well. In other words, one can be experienced and exceptional, new and exceptional, new and an ass or experienced and an ass etc. and still be dominant.

quote:

-IT IS LIKELY a dominant guy will be very interested in you, and not just your sexual needs (though they will certainly get his attention).

It is more likely that a dominant guy will be very interested in *his* sexual needs if BDSM is all about sex to him. Don't be fooled here, ladies. Your average dominant guy is going to think about his sexual needs first.. not yours. That said, BDSM is *not* all about sex for everyone and plenty of folks engage in the various letters associated with the acronym without any sexual pleasure required or necessary. It's your coloring book, so you get to choose the crayons you use and whether or not you color inside or outside the lines.

quote:

The dominant guy above all loves challenge

Except for the ones who hate challenges or the ones who find challenges to be tiresome or who expect obedience to their directives and... so on and so forth.

quote:

Submissive women are the most challenging of lovers for they have great fantasy.

Bullshit. Submissive or not, it's a people thing, not an orientation thing.

quote:

the burden of 'taking charge' of you. The dominant desires this burden because he knows you bring many gifts in return.

Just an aside for the dom types. If *taking charge* is a burden.. you might want to reconsider your orientation. Just some food for thought.

quote:

-IT IS LIKELY a dominant guy is probably going to be damn good in the sack.

hahahahahahahahaha

quote:

-IT IS CERTAIN a dominant guy will make many mistakes and have no fear admitting them (though sometimes it may take him awhile to fess up, or even discover he has made a mistake). He understands he is not all knowing because he knows he's human. A guy who believes he never makes mistakes or does not admit them with good cheer CANNOT be dominant.

Bullshit again. Anyone can be dominant. (I have to say that the bit about admitting mistakes with good cheer actually made me chuckle.)

quote:

-IT IS LIKELY a dominant will not lie about being married or already having a girlfriend.

Psst.. ladies? Dominants lie. They cheat on their spouses, they steal from their employers. They are (gasp) human and all of the flaws the rest of us humans have hold just as true for dominants.

::snipped out the rest of the book because...::

bottom line: Trust your gut and engage your brain. If you do those two things then find someone who makes your heart sing.. explore that.. it's a good start.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to RaceBannon)

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