RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 8:14:54 AM

mnottertail

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Perhaps Martha Stewart could be asked to provide a festive holiday potato chip dip from that recipe?

James Beard

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 1:32:53 PM

MariaB

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Better an egg than a hamster http://www.hardwareheaven.com/off-topic-forum/13250-hamsters-can-very-versatile.html

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 2:56:17 PM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
My ex GF was an emergency room nurse. She used to tell me stories:

The guy who said he slipped and fell in the shower.......and landed on the jar of peanut butter which went up his ass..........

He expected people to believe he kept a jar of peanut butter in the bathroom?

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 3:33:24 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
My ex GF was an emergency room nurse. She used to tell me stories:

The guy who said he slipped and fell in the shower.......and landed on the jar of peanut butter which went up his ass..........

He expected people to believe he kept a jar of peanut butter in the bathroom?

That was my first question.

But, let's just say he uses peanut butter as a facial........even if you landed on that jar like it had a target on it.....it's not going up your ass.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 3:51:00 PM

ResidentSadist

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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
My ex GF was an emergency room nurse. She used to tell me stories:

The guy who said he slipped and fell in the shower.......and landed on the jar of peanut butter which went up his ass..........

He expected people to believe he kept a jar of peanut butter in the bathroom?

That was my first question.

But, let's just say he uses peanut butter as a facial........even if you landed on that jar like it had a target on it.....it's not going up your ass.

I've given my share of facials to girls in the shower, but not once did it involve peanut butter. Peanut butter was always used in training dogs to lick . . . oh, never mind. Anyway, peanut butter facials, a jar of peanut butter up the ass . . . in a shower . . . thank god the man didn't have pot of jam.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 3:52:00 PM

KYsissy

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I have a friend that use to work in the ER. Evidently there are a lot of guys out there That get really clumsy when they are naked. But yet,have perfect aim With their buttholes when they slip and fall

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 5:06:32 PM

Yachtie

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William Wallace: Sons of Scotland! I am William Wallace.
Young Soldier: William Wallace is seven feet tall!
William Wallace: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and hard boiled eggs from his arse.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 5:38:04 PM

catize

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Ate some eggs
From my ass...............
ptomaine!

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 5:40:33 PM

JstAnotherSub

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kinky egg blows its wad

Gawd I love youtube!

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 5:44:38 PM

JstAnotherSub

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Some of these eggs belong together, some of these eggs are kind of the same, but one of these eggs just doesn't belong here, now it's time to play our game......

One of these eggs I would enjoy up my ass.

Attachment (1)

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 5:54:24 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyThoughts

Here's a magician trick that might save your ass.

Soak an egg in vinegar and it gets rubbery.

http://chemistry.about.com/od/madscientistlab/a/rubberegg.htm

You can do chicken bones too, but there's a joke about that
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.

That's because the vinegar leeches the calcium out of the egg shells. It also leeches the calcium out of bones. Boring factoid, but true.

NBMG

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 6:16:54 PM

MercTech

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I'm reminded of a foreign port where the bar girls got into a contest over how far each could launch a pickled egg...

Yep, vagina launching distance competition.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 6:58:39 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
My ex GF was an emergency room nurse. She used to tell me stories:

The guy who said he slipped and fell in the shower.......and landed on the jar of peanut butter which went up his ass..........

He expected people to believe he kept a jar of peanut butter in the bathroom?

That was my first question.

But, let's just say he uses peanut butter as a facial........even if you landed on that jar like it had a target on it.....it's not going up your ass.

Hey now it could be! On my parenting message board the ladies are raving about facials with honey. They say it makes their face softer then any cream from a store, so what if someone wanted some peanut butter mixed in?? It could happen.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 7:19:49 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveFanny

I have been instructed to write this info by my owner.

My owner has come up with a new idea and a little more unusal,
She push hard boiled eggs up my ass and I have to hold onto them as long as posible.
She has great fun watching me as I try to go about my chores with no panties on and fighting hard not to lay an egg.
If I lay an egg I gets 10 wacks of her cane for each egg and if I can hold on for an hour I get rewarded by allowed to eat the eggs directly as they come out of my ass. I am not allowed to clean them.

Her record to date is puting 20 eggs inside me and my record is keeping 8 in for an hour.

By the way no matter I still have to eat the eggs, as she says waste not want not.

Hope you find this usefull idea

Slave

My thinking is, you should probably never give serious consideration to opening a restaurant.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 9:09:30 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

I'm reminded of a foreign port where the bar girls got into a contest over how far each could launch a pickled egg...

Yep, vagina launching distance competition.

Your port was better than mine - in Okinawa the banana shows only had one chick on at a time.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 9:25:36 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

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I once heard a story of a woman getting a diaphragm for birth control. She somehow came back in a week later with a horrid infection. WHen the doctor asked her what she had been putting up there she told him grape jelly. He had not made his instructions clear enough I guess.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 9:34:17 PM

sexyred1

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Ah...now this is is like the old days.

A totally cracked thread!

Thanks for the laugh, OP.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 10:04:39 PM

tameeks

Posts: 173
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I'm reminded of a foreign port where the bar girls got into a contest over how far each could launch a pickled egg...

Yep, vagina launching distance competition.

Your port was better than mine - in Okinawa the banana shows only had one chick on at a time.

I managed to get in and out of Okinawa without seeing that show, I heard plenty about it from the men though.

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 10:19:31 PM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

My ex GF was an emergency room nurse. She used to tell me stories:

The guy who said he slipped and fell in the shower.......and landed on the jar of peanut butter which went up his ass.

The girl who let go of the vibrator when it was up her butt and couldn't get it out......while it was on. (She said you hear the vibrator and they took bets on how long the battery would last)

The guy who had 6 paper clips and a fish hook in his urethra which caused his penis to swell up so much that the metal cock ring needed to be cut off.

Some guy that had a cell phone up his ass set on vibrate.

Worked in medical records years ago... and read a file where a guy was going for workman's comp because while he was cleaning a service station bathroom, he slipped and fell, and that's how the glass tumbler got into his ass and broke.

Just last week I heard how in surgery at a local hospital er, they had to remove a bowling trophy...I lost it on that one.

< Message edited by CRYPTICLXVI -- 6/26/2012 10:20:26 PM >

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RE: EGGS UP SLAVES ASS - 6/26/2012 11:14:23 PM

bustyCObabe

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OMG - for my first reply to any thread here, it had to be this one! I have now read some of the funniest shit in my life and now will go to bed trying to get egg-shooting assholes and vaginas out of my mind.

I guess hard boiled eggs are better than chili peppers or jalapenos up the ass...