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I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 3:22:43 AM

Talon67

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/22/2010
Status: offline

I realy dont get it. I put myself out there and message people that could be a possible Mistress and make sure to youse proper grammer, but I never get anything back. Its depressing. So I guess what I'm asking is, why?

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 3:35:37 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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There could be many reasons. If I had to guess:

- Most people, even on regular non-kinky dating sites, get messages ignored more often than not. That's just the internet. You might not be doing worse than anyone else.
- Most female dominants here get lots of messages. Yours could be getting missed in the heap. Yours might not stand out enough.
- The quality of your message might be lacking. Good grammar is not enough. You should be sending thoughtful messages that show you have read the profile and are interested in her as a person. If your first message is about sex, or an obvious copy-paste, or just 'hi', they'll be ignored
- You could be messaging the wrong types of people - you might be messaging fake profiles, people who are miles away, people who say they are in relationships/not looking for people in your age/gender/personality type/race
- They look at your profile, see it says nothing about you as a person, and can't be bothered to reply. If they're getting 20 messages a day, they might not have time to reply to everyone. They're likely to use that time to reply to someone with an interesting profile, rather than take a chance messaging someone who might turn out to have nothing in common with them.

Write something in your profile. Something about you as a person. What are your hobbies? What do you offer? What type of relationship do you want (casual play, long term, bedroom only submission, 24/7 slavery?) If possible, put up a picture of you not taken in the mirror.

Can you post an example of a message you might send to a woman? That might give us some clues.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 3:56:35 AM

masmiss

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

Athena hit the nail on the head. Whenever I get a message from a sub I always read the profile before responding. If the profile is blank I don't respond. Doesn't matter how nice the message is. I need to get a feel for compatibility first. A blank profile says "lazy".

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 5:39:12 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Talon67

I realy dont get it. I put myself out there and message people that could be a possible Mistress and make sure to youse proper grammer, but I never get anything back. Its depressing. So I guess what I'm asking is, why?

1. Based on your misspelling of "use" and "grammar" in a one line post, I suspect your writing is not as good as you think it is.
2. I estimate women respond to 5% - 10% of well written messages. Nature of the beast.
3. Your profile says you don't like to write and are proud of your tattoos and your cock. That may not be what Dommes look for.
4. Your post here says you're messaging Dominant women. Your profile says you're a switch and you're looking for all kinds of women - Dommes, subs, and switches. They may think that you're not looking for a Domme as much as any woman.
5. Saying that you "put yourself out there" by sending a single message makes me think that you're attaching far more importance to a message than you should.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Talon67)

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 5:44:56 AM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

Not getting a response back is indeed getting a response. They are saying they are not interested for what ever reason.
No one is obligated to respond to an email.

My suggestions.

1. Before emailing someone make sure you read their profile first.
2. Don't write a generic cookie cutter email.
3. Make sure your profile is filled out and has more than kink stuff in it. Most women want to see something about you outside of kink.
4. Don't use short hand or internet speak in your profile or email.

_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 5:48:16 AM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
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DarkSteven hit about everything pertinent, I'd add that there aren't many lifestyle Dominant women around compared to sub/switch men. You're going to have to be persistent and stand out from the crowd. I do think the cock shot removes you from consideration for many as women don't generally want to see those. Are you sending out something like "Hi, how are you?" If that is a typical message from you, then it's contributing to your blending in with the crowd of male submissives.

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 6:11:30 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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OP, if you return to the thread you created, I'd like to suggest you read massmiss' profile. It's very clear about what kind of message she wants, and what kind of man she wants to message her. Note this paragraph:

"I enjoy reading, movies, TV, museums, travel, dining out, cooking (when I have time) and am up for developing new interests. I'm not much of an outdoor person. Tried camping and fishing in my younger years and that was enough to last a lifetime. :)"

That paragraph is crammed full of topics suitable for you to draw upon if you were to send her a first message (which you wouldn't because you're age-incompatible, but she's a good example anyway). And if none of them are topics you care to discuss, then you'd be incompatible with her - move on.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 9:58:28 AM

TheBoyDownBelow

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Talon67

I realy dont get it. I put myself out there and message people that could be a possible Mistress and make sure to youse proper grammer, but I never get anything back. Its depressing. So I guess what I'm asking is, why?

I just previewed your profile, if you can call it this way. No profile text and no journal entries! So if someone receives a message interesting enough to respond, and then view your profile they will be turned off right there. IMO put a little more work into your profile first, before anything else. And yes, do read as many as possible profiles of mistresses. It is educational, especially about having cock pictures anywhere in a profile.

Also, you may have gotten a bit carried away with befriending. This is not myspace!

< Message edited by TheBoyDownBelow -- 12/29/2012 10:04:10 AM >

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 1:43:33 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBoyDownBelow
Also, you may have gotten a bit carried away with befriending. This is not myspace!

. . . And none of those friends look greatly bona fide either.

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 1:48:20 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBoyDownBelow
Also, you may have gotten a bit carried away with befriending. This is not myspace!

That could be a reason right there.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 1:55:22 PM

TheBoyDownBelow

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

. . . And none of those friends look greatly bona fide either.

Exactly my thinking too!

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 1:59:10 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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~FRing it~

I personally dont respond to completely blank profiles either. And I always check before replying back to someone. All anyone has to go on when they look at your profile (which is your place to show who you are and what you are about) is your basic statistics and the fact that you have both tattoos and a penis. Thats it.

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 2:02:03 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

The pics of your "friends" would be enough for me to click delete or mark as spam, no matter what you wrote.

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 2:07:02 PM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
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Do you get it now?

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 2:40:35 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Talon67

I never get anything back.

On behalf of all of us who replied to you in this thread, we feel your pain.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Talon67)

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 3:48:00 PM

VioletViolence

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
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Wanna know what I don't get? How men who claim to be all about loving women, have no clue how to approach/talk to/treat women. You'd think that all these guys who just ADORE women would have actually, you know, talked to one or two in their lifetime to gain some insight. It's almost 2013 people, how can you all not understand that how things happen in TV shows/movies/porn isn't how it works in real life? That's why they can make so much money, they're selling an UNREALISTIC FANTASY. And it's not just men who need to realize this, I think the Twilight fiasco proved that.

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 4:05:23 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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Lots good advice here for you to listen too ...

That is, is you really wish to learn, and are not really trying to run an ad ...

I will be honest with you, I get a reply on almost 50% of my emails. Some are thanks but no thanks ... BUT I GET A REPLY!

The fact is, as others pointed out ... your profile is terrible ... No Words, and you even say you are a SWITCH ... Dommes don't reply to that!

I can only assume your emails are JUST AS BAD ...

Basically ... online ... you are communicating that you are a loser.

So focus in on what the others told you .... especially AthenaSurrenders and masmiss ... Dark Steven is right too ... but the former are women ... and they are TELLING you what they want!

Smart men listen and adjust ... especially if you are looking for a Domme!

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 4:19:14 PM

TheBoyDownBelow

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/25/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

I will be honest with you, I get a reply on almost 50% of my emails. Some are thanks but no thanks ... BUT I GET A REPLY!

That is about my experience too. But I do have to mention that I don't message just anybody. I need to see something in their profile that is inspiring. Something you can actually reply to. I did start experimenting with messaging to blank profiles just to figure out what it is all about. As one can guess the result is usually zero, nada, nothing.

< Message edited by TheBoyDownBelow -- 12/29/2012 4:40:29 PM >

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 4:32:55 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBoyDownBelow

That is about my experience too. But I do have to mention that I don't message just anybody. I need to see something in their profile that is inspiring. Something you can actually reply to.

Shh ... don't tell him every trick! LOL

We don't want a LOT of competition now, do we?

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RE: I dont get it. - 12/29/2012 7:23:56 PM

naughtynick81

Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
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quote:

Wanna know what I don't get? How men who claim to be all about loving women, have no clue how to approach/talk to/treat women.

It's not that men don't know how to socially interact, it's just that women such as your self have ridiculous standards. Maybe you should consider not making it purposely hard for men to get your attention and act like an adult instead of an uppity narcissist who believes men are below you.

< Message edited by naughtynick81 -- 12/29/2012 7:26:32 PM >

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